Sitting in my room
Blue walls facing white
I listened to a tune
To deafen out their fight
A mother and a daughter
No longer see eye to eye
Her mothers cries don't stop her
As she spouts out more lies
I wish that I could stop this
But I am powerless right now
I wish that I could fix this
But I really don't know how
I listen to the lyrics
He sings about his wife
About death and how he fears it
Since his wife took her own life
So sad this world has felt all this pain
And we simply feel a small part
But we burry deep all our shame
And we throw away all the bad into the earths heart
So quietly I'll swallow it down
Not so fast
Because I don't wont to drowned
Beneath this devouring past

I held a flower petal in my hand
And softly let it go
I watched it fly above the land
And wondered where it will go
Sadly I thought of the flower it used to be
And how I loved it so
I watched as the petal left without me
And left me here so low
I have a garden filled with flowers
I really shouldn't be sad
I have a million of them that I could shower
But I missed that one I had
Soft tears ***** my frosty green eyes
As I watch it blow away
So sad I wonder why
My flower couldn't stay

Ominous winds dancing on my bare arms
Fencing with anger to calm down my heart
Frozen winds help to blow away the harm
Searching for something that tears me apart
Looking through windows opaque with dark dust
Fighting with the curtains to close the blinds
Locking open doors, there's no one to trust
Secrets behind me I rather not find
Wind getting colder, cold I do not like
Missing the heat that used to warm my bones
Two things so different used to be alike
So separated in far apart homes
The parts that are broken are tossed away
In the dark casted shadow it will lay

I dreamt of falling
In slow motion
I was watching the clouds
And I was listening to the wind
Singing in my ears
I was feeling the earth pulling me into the center
I could my worries draining away
Until I hit the ground
I should've died
But I lived

Beat to beat
Voices yelling all around
Stomping stomping feet
Shaking, quaking, breaking the ground
Jabs, and blows thrown in every way
Blood stained the marble floors
I really didn't want to stay
But broken bodies blocked they way
Trapped in here I rest my head
As voices scream and skin is broke
People falling dead
I begin to choke
Raging wars at the scene of the crime
Breaking bones, and stopping time
Overwhelmed I want to run
But I'm forced to stay to see what's done

Words bitten off,
Sharp they pierce my skin
Sad my eyes watch the stars
There to hold me
There to watch the sorrow that falls of me
If I had opened up my eyes
Would I've been deceived by these vicious lies?
If I hadn't laid my heart out bare
Knowing I was taking a chance of pain
Would I be standing here
Would I be so angry
So upset
These furious waves sloshing inside my
Ripped up heart
When I'm lost at a crossroads
And I don't know which way to turn
And the tears oh how they burn, my eyes
Why?
Why do I always receive the lies
And the pain and the hurt
A single tear falls from my eye
What would it feel like to die?
What would the peace taste like?
What would the silence sound like?
I thought about cool metal against my skin,
Reopening fading scars...
Breathing quick and holding softly on to the small bear in my arms
I've never been a child,
I have never had a chance

It started when I took my first step
On the freshly paved path
It started out so smooth
So easy I could glide
Until the sun set
And I met the monsters hiding in the shadows
They broke me
Beat me
Killed me
And I drew a ragged breath
Dragging myself up
I thought maybe I'd been mistaken
But no
This path I've been walking
Is full of cracks and holes
Always tripping me
Always leaving me out of breath
Tricking me to go left
Instead of right
A mirage on the end of the path, and then I realize it never ends...
And that I'll just keep tripping
Today I'm stepping onto untamed grass
And choosing my own way

Oh this demon was in disguise
She was made of all these lies
And I thought she was sweet
Then on our first meet
I realized she was planning her demise
Yeah she sidled up and laced up her words
And sweetly poisened me with her standards
And I knew that I would never meet them
I could barley begin to brush the hem
It was then I had to approach her
But she was supposed to be my best friend
Until I finally realized that this might be the end

We all have our demons
We all have our flaws
We hide them so no one will see them
We all have our smiles
We all have our frowns
We all cry when no ones around
We all have our bruises
We all have out cuts
All of us, yes all of us fall down
But this all makes us human
This makes us real
Because to be alive
You have to feel
And sometimes it hurts
And we will bleed
But it's a part of life that we all need
To send in our minds
Our epiphany
And steer us to a new way
Every last single one of us
Are unique
We are all beautiful
Even if we don't know exactly who we are

Breath dancing on the air
In swirls of clouded heat
My face is cold
And the winds are blowing
And here I'm stuck waiting for a bus
And I'm humming along
To my favorite song
I look across the street
Empty, quiet, not even a heartbeat
I look at the ground and pretend I'm not there
And that I'm gone in a far away land
Dream of the heat and the sun
All the summer fun
That I miss and I long to have
Oh sigh, so miserable, why?
When it's cold outside

Sleep evading me again
Close my eyes
And his face is there
It's been years...
And the memories are faded
Like an old picture
I try drowning it with music
But it's there
The pain almost feels fresh
Like the smell of close death
And the feel of broken skin
The sound of sirens
And the shrieks ....
It's still so painful to speak
To hard to write down
In my sorrow I drown
My fingers are shaking right now
I saw him in my dreams last night
I remember his eyes
They scared me the most
Sometimes I'll cry ...
Cry myself to sleep
Because sometimes tears are easier
Than to speak
Because tears will shout
Shout it all out
And make me feel clean
It's a weight lifted off my chest
So I can get rest
But tonight it's trapped me here
In this room of crawling terrors
I feel like I have to scream
But it's stuck in my throat
I feel claustrophobic, like its got me
I really just need to sleep...

The frosty bite of the winters chill
Brought me from my daze
I was brought forth to a white painted hill
To look upon the trees that made up a maze
A fine winter indeed with a splatter of sorrow
As the ravens scream ahead
Because someone who will not see tomorrow
Today has been pronounced dead
The church bells sound with a booming ring
And the trees look desperately bare
And the choir overhead I can hear them sing
So I know you've gone safely there

My heart sang to the sweet melody
Of my crying piano
I was so sad, my lashes wet with tears
If only my prayers could cure my fears
My fingers moved slowly from white key to black
As I bite my lip to keep from sobbing
These are the moments I miss my viola

It was death who was knocking at my door
I had been trying to avoid his calls
I guess I really can't hide any more
It was a short walk, but a longer fall
And the leaves so sadly fall off the trees
Lives but a shadow at the brink of dawn
A soul that was captured has been set free
As the morning sun creeps on the front lawn
And so sorrowfully I hang my head
And await the reapers death painted claw
For this morning I awoke to be dead
For it has been the reapers scornful law
And death may come I have vanquished my fear
Silently may I hold my falling tears

I have been left here waiting
For you to stop breaking me
And the thoughts I'm debating
Are starting to frighten me
You said that I was nothing
A meaningless pice of dirt
But I thought I was something
And that's why it really hurt
To think I was in your heart
Was so foolish I could die
And tragically fell apart
From all your deceitful lies
I am broken pieces lying about
Be careful you might slip and cut yourself on the glass

The woods burst into flames
Not a hint of remorse
Or a hint of shame

I sat watching the fire dance
I was hypnotized by it
No one gives fire a chance

Slowly the trees began to drop
And the smoke clouded the air
And I felt as though my heart would stop

The leaves scream as they burn
And I feel so numb but so good
It was like the tables had been turned

The chains had been released from me
I was no longer bound to this place
I was set free

The world would taste a piece of freedom I felt
As I burn down the town
And watch all the materials melt

I had been running
For years.....
Tuning it out
And turning my back
But the stabbing in my brain
Won't let me shut it out
I hate when memories find there way in
When you rather they just fade away
If I could vanquish these faces from my mind
I would do it in a hearts beat
But for now I'll reach for gods hand
To help me through the maze of memories

Bright stars staring down
Me staring heavily back
Can't help but feel awed
Their beauty so amazing
Tugging me into a spell

The shackles were like hands cold as black ice
Holding me in its steel prisoning grip
For I had been cast away more than twice
The floors were icy in hell I would slip
My story began with the seed of lust
The feeling, the rush was none to be known
For I craved the feeling, have it I must
The path would crumble it was made of stone
And I danced so hard it began to chip
It was dark there without the lights to shine
The angles they found me, my wings they clip
Because of a girl that was never mine
I sat in hells cell and there I would rot
I never regretted the lesson taught

I couldn't help but feel so sad
Because I know I grow older and I'll have to realese the good times I've had
I fear of forgetting
Of all that I have
Growing old, and dying
I don't mind dying , but I can't forget
Who I am, who I love
I'm scared of a new year and what it brings
Always cautious of turning the corner
Monsters always lurk near by
And solemnly I cry
But I can't say why
The passing of the time perhaps
And though I'm young and have much to see
I wonder what horrors I may next face
See I've learned not to trust the unknown
Pain prowls in the fog
And though I am only human
I can only wish I rise above the greed
I should be thankful to still breath
But fear has crippled me
I have found that I ...... Am weak

A new year ready to stretch it's wings
As the earth grows a year older
And the frosty winds will sing
And the sun in it's beauty will smolder

People will make new year resolutions
And some will be met
It's like a key a solution
To there hopes that haven't been granted yet

They'll set aside their problems
And make a list of new ones
They'll think of how to solve them
To realize it will never be done

The darkness might just hang over our heads
As we pray to gods to forgive our sins
We'll sit awake in our warm beds
And our patience will wear thin

But we'll cheer happy new year
Though we all feel weighed down
And we'll forget about our fears
And quietly drown

Flying
                        Away
                                Dust
                                       In
                                The  
                      Wind
                           Chipped
                                   And
                              Broken
                                   Lost
                                           And
                                 Forgotten
You said I'd never be alone
                                              You lied

Hello little bird
I hear your musical song
As you dance and prance
Upon your frozen branch
A smile lit on my face
As you sing and look down on me
With a laugh I lay down in the snow
Beneath the tree that hangs low with age
Over the small barn
Peacefully I close my eyes
Oddly warm within the snows blankets
And like the sky was crying of joy
Small flakes fell and landed so gracefully upon my face
Finally at peace I fell asleep

Quiet and dark the room was empty
Waiting quietly for sleep to take me
I was falling when my ears heard it
A voice so quite
It has to be my mind
Because when I looked no face was to find
The absence of sleep must be playing tricks
Because I closed my eyes again and I heard it quick
My heart sputtered to a pound
As I listened for a sound
Closer it came only when my eyes were closed
The owner must not want me to know
I bit my lip and shook with fear
I couldn't stop the soft flow of tears
I rather be alone
But the whispers here would roam
They spoke so quite I couldn't define
I wondered if it was my mind
But I was silent and the whispers grew louder
But never did they shout, never
I'm praying for sleep
But the voices they never sleep
They never rest
It was an evil test
To keep from pulling at my hair
But I heard them, heard them there
I wanted to scream
But nobody could know of the whispers
They'd never understand

The altar was a blurred vision
She wept
With every step
The room was bare
No one was there
Alone she walked slowly to the front
Where she invisioned her fiancé
The one she would vow her heart to
There was dust on the stairs as she stepped up
Bowing her head her vail was in place
She shook with pain
Her fiancé at war had been slain
She fell to her knees , shattered like glass thrown to the ground
The room spun around
Her world was crashing down
Her belly full with child
She was alone
No mother to guide her steady
No father to help her ready
Not a brother not a sister
Only faded memories of a family that was never hers
Only a gust of her unpledged husbands remains
She remembers how she had begged him to stay
And he only laughed telling her he would be okay
She wanted to scream
She wanted to cry
But she wouldn't die
For the child's sake

In the dark I follow this path
Unwritten and unpaved I might crash
Hollow I walk alone
My bones carved and made of stone
My wounds were open to bare
I could feel the crow and raven's hungry stare
Infected by a governmental disease
The growing hunger was a painful tease
Devour the souls it told me
Swallow it whole it told me
I was trying to fight the urge but it over came me
Like a wave , I was eaten by the sea
Destroy was my main cause
I wasn't human I was only flaws
It was a curse but it felt so good
As I slaughtered the whole neighborhood
The only guilt I felt was at the bottom of my heart
It was a small tingle that pulled me apart
No conscience  to tell me to stop
I fought and killed to the top
I was a body without a core
A dead hand pulling open the basement door
A limp and a shimmer as I made my way
The evil pledged inside me would stay

When I cry I have to hide
Afraid of what others might see
When I'm so vulnerable
When my walls break down
When I let go
Can't stomach that I'm only human
That I hurt that I have feelings
I only want to be numb
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my grip
So close I might slip
Don't want to feel love
Rage is In my grip
Burning burning
Heating up
I'm dying dying
Falling out
Crying crying
I won't be fine
I'm done with rules
I don't care
I won't care
I done so done
I'm losing my sight
The walls have gone red
My heart is dead
Turn my music up loud
And walk the streets
Put away fear
I can't afford to feel

wings I take with me
I take flight and fight , yes fight
Gliding on the wind

On its breast I lay
On its heart I stay
A thump, thump, thump
That mirrors the bump, bump, bump

A different scene is set as I wash up on the
Sky's current
The clouds it's swishing wave's
The seas of above

Destroyed by shame
Destroyed by pain
I was capsized
And drowning
As I fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Down
Farther
Farther
No
Sound
Take
Me
To
The
Ground
I was surronded all around
An alien sent to probe the minds of the earths children
I was only flying

Frozen forests
Full with dread
No way out
The rest are dead
Every way you turn
The trees begin to spin
Your arms start to burn
And a nameless face begins to grin
Running through the maze of terror
The chilled air is running thin
And the silence began to scare her
Her breath was in the air
And she yelled for help but no ones there
Behind her back a killer slinked
And with a scream that was the end

Rabbit rabbit
I formed a habit
I'm walking fast
And watching time pass
The need is grabbing
This pain is stabbing
I need to have it
I'll die if I don't
This smooth addiction
***** me in its deception
Won't let me go
I must escape
I'm falling apart
My seams ripped apart
Rabbit rabbit
I formed a habit
And I can't find my way out

Breath darling into my heart
For I will never part
You I hold inside my grip
And never will you ever slip

You are like a flower in my garden
And If I mess up I'll ask you pardon
Our vows to each other may last forever
A bond so tight to never sever

Two hearts conjoined as one
Then blessed by the wails of a first born son
A kingdom rich and lavished
And a mother who learns to manage

I could unlock the door
But would I be safe....
I could open my heart
But would I bleed.....
They pledge their love to me
But the glass is foggy
It's hard to see
How can I go in walking blind
To scared to say that I just might care
To sad to think I might not be there
I just want to trust
But to trust you must be whole
Tortured by demons of a frightful past
My first move could be the last
Every step so unsure
Unstable grounds
The air so thick all around
I might crumble beneath the weight
To let them in
I'll need the key
To let them in
I must see

Dancing alone
My eyes filled by tears
A smile hidden to fragile to be shown
Incomplete
A puzzle left without a piece
Empty hearted
Cold and frozen
The lock hung broken
My hair lose around my shoulders
You used to pull it away from my neck
I can still feel the warmth of your fingers
A ghost of you resides beside me
A rose a top your body
A tear ****** into the earth
Until it travels through the soil
And lands upon your cheek
A smile rest on your pale face
Time will eat it away
Dying beside your soil bed
My black dress scattered along side me
I was asleep while you still sang to me
And now that you're gone
I'm wide awake
Sad that it was this that it had to take
Swimming alone the waves disguise my tears
Slowly every picture we took together
You fade from
I only pray that I will still see your face
I will meet you when I walk the golden bridge
To our paradise

A rose fires the moons
Smile, caressing the earths heart

My heart was bleeding out on the floor
A comment cut through to the core
My tears fell fresh with guilt and pain
I felt as if I'd been slain
My head hung low I burst inside
I wish that I could run an hide
Nobody ever said its easy to face your fears
Could leave the toughest man following a path of his tears
A bulletproof vest to protect my skin
Should've thought more about how my conscious ran thin
Slices right through me left me in the dust
I was looking around but there's no one to trust
I was living on the dark side all alone theses days
Could've gone home but I was determined to stay
Away from the light where I might see my shadow
Just to remind me of the person everybody knows
Confused and scared I lost my way
I was living in the dark determined to stay
Giving up a life full of richness
Because I could live knowing that I was different

I listen to the silent buzz,
watching the screen
I sort through the words,
to find what they might mean
The say the world might end
But I just don't believe
That's gods sign to send
That I can wait to see
But in the back of my mind
I wonder just a bit
Will the world end, before eyes blind
And the witty be out wit
Is this not in disguise?
Could this really be true?
Can this maybe not be a guise?
And appear out of the blue
I am unprotected without my rapier
I am defenseless now
In my hand I hold no spear
And before gods feet I bow

Goodnight moon
Ill seen you soon
Tuck me in
The stars will win
I rest beside a hill
Where I have been killed
I roam the fields at dawn
I sleep but do not yawn
The rain will pour through me
I will simply exist
I have forgiven you winter
I know you had to come
And I know it was not on purpose that you had done
But I live only with the sun
My petals fall when your gust calls
Flowers only live with warmth

The rooms were dark
The halls all abandoned
My steps echoed like screams in the halls
There was blood on the stalls...
Tears stained the floors
Pain in the air
No hope left In here

Could this all be a dream?
Did I imagine the screams?
Is this real?
I cannot feel
Sliding down the walls
There was blood on the stalls

Like every other horror film
There was only one to survive
The rest weren't alive
They had taken a fall
There was blood on the stalls

His mother lay cold in a puddle of blood
I'd seen the room flood
Petrified by fear
I'd shed one long tear
To never hear her call...
There was  blood on the stalls

Little angle in my arms
Crying tears
Brung up from harm
Soiled by fears
Eyes are wide
Duck beneath the shattering glass
No where to hide
As he massacres the class
God was weeping today
Evil had sprung across his soul
Not long to stay
But it had took its toll
The end is near
I can feel it in the air
It's close enough to hear
I can feel it there
I close my eyes and wait
There's no way out
We cannot escape our fate
I will go out
To the sound of an orchestras roar
Once last silent tear
I will open deaths door
Without fear
I will be reborn again
So long farewell
I'll wait for you there
When we all meet again

The day had started under the sun
First day of kindergarten,
I would have fun

I told mommy and daddy goodbye
The feeling felt funny I don't know why

But I'd keep my head up,
I must be nervous
I'd get through today I'd stay tough

Until the door broke down
The teacher on the ground
I looked all around
But I'd stay strong

I didn't know where I was
My first day, was this right?
God was there, now I was scared

He took me in his arms
Said child please be strong
You didn't do anything wrong

My family all cried
I figure out I had died
But I had tried
To stay strong

He told me they'll be alright
It's there pain
they'll have to fight
But rest your eyes
Child

Until the door broke down
The teacher on the ground
I looked all around
But I'd stay strong

Soft curtains a drawn
A mist set forth on the stage
Down from the ceiling fell a cage
Elegant in beauty
The crowd watched in silence
For the show to begin
A soft melody fell from her lips
And crescendoing into loud folds of words
The opra began
She draped her body along the bars
And sang about how she wished to be set free
About her soul dying in the clutches of containment
A tear fell down her face
The crowd in awe leaned into the stage
Grasping her sides with a forlorn frown
Lying there
She let out the last of her show
It flew through the room like electricity
And the curtains where once again drawn to hide her face
She fell  against the cool metal
Waiting to be set free
But the room dimmed to dark
And her body ebbed in and out of reality
Phantom of the ... Opera
Inside my mind

A hundred shots fired
Until it was silent
The smell of blood roamed the halls
His soul had fallen
Evil had found its way in
Children without eyes to see
So vulnerable
This event has shaken me
The tears fall down my face
As I listen to the news
The deaths in Connecticut
Thirty met the afterlife
Pray for them
I rest on my knees
God tell me have we all been killed?
Are we all doomed?
Open your arms to those we have lost
I beg of you give them peace

I answered the phone
I was happy
Then you said hello
My smile fell from my face
And I sat down without grace
Because I know your voice
I hate you
It's the only time I'd say such a word
But no other could describe how I feel towards you
After all that you have done to me
Can't you just leave me alone?
After all that I've said to you
Can't you go home?
I don't want to talk to you
You've broken me, and I'm stone
Please I am begging you
Stop!
I've asked you how many times
I've cried too many to count
I'm a mess already inside
Just leave me alone
I don't want to think of you
I don't want to hear you
I'm trying to get stronger
I'm trying to stay alive
So if you ever cared for me
Then you'd hang up the phone for good
And hand back my heart

We don't know who we are,
We all have are scars
In my heart it's ripped apart
But I'll never let you  know
Though my eyes are closed
The sounds still let me know
That your near, I can hear you close
And your tears still fall
And I say **** it all
We will never be perfect
Never be perfect

Put my hopes on the ground
Get up turn around
Because nothing ever comes my way
Anymore

Now I see that there far away
Now I know, there's no future day
Might as well just put down the faith
And leave
Walk out the door can't care anymore
I have been broken to many times
To ever rewind

Now I plea to god, that he will save me
But I know that's a hopeless road
And I've tried to see, a light holding opportunity, but it escapes me Every time
And I look for a way, to get out of this place
But it seems that I'm held back in this space

  Put my hopes on the ground
Get up turn around
Because nothing ever comes my way
Anymore

Now I see that there far away
Now I know, there's no future day
Might as well just put down the faith
And leave
Walk out the door can't care anymore
I have been broken to many times
To ever rewind

I'm so tired
Of crying myself to sleep
The pain of those awful memories
Sometimes It's like no one knows me
I am so broken
No one understands
I was crushed and defeated by those hands
And now I sit wasting away
Hiding beneath covers to scarred to face the day
I can feel it like a thousand daggers
Beating into my flesh
But I can't cry
And I can't feel
I'm starting to doubt if this is real
Maybe I should run
No I'm so done
I might as well say goodbye ...