Cold water wades
Frail memories fade
Soft winds sway
Why won't the pain go away?

Tears fresh and warm
My heart so forlorn
This empty in my soul
Why can't I just be whole?

Lips chapped and dry
Worn by how I cry
These feelings won't subside
Why did some part if me die?

Sleep I wish would last
A trance to forget the past
God can you save me
Why am I haunted by these memories?

Looming above the dirt bed where she slept
A silent raven with wings fluttering
The raven before her graveyard home wept
For the woman was always sputtering
Talked of her husband, never laid to rest
Said only a fool would not say goodbye
She always clutched the necklace on her chest
She would weep in her bed asking god why
So sad she had died with a broken heart
He vowed he would always stay by her side
He vowed they could'nt ever be apart
Even though her fragile body had died
So there before her, her husband would stay
Before the dirt bed where his cold wife lay

These chains across a battered soul
The fear that never becomes whole
The page I seem to always skip
The path I seem to always slip
The cry that always seems to bare
The pain that always resides there
The broken that no one understands
The survivors that dropped each others hands
The song that never meets its end
The perfect life that's always pretend
The love that doesn't exist
The ones you always seem to miss
The memories that seem so faded
The wounded hearts so filthy and jaded
The need to just be numb
The constant reminder that you're dumb
The words that cut deeper than knives
I bless your heart if you survive

The thrill, the ride, the joy of the scare
The flash, the tide
The heat of being there

The love in which you never did fall
The smiles, the laughs,
The act too fool us all

The silence, the awkward between the two
The wave, the goodbye
As bordem does as its supposed to

The anger the clash, the need to always fight
The hate, the fear
The straying from the light

The names, the fingers pointed across the hall
The blood, the stain
As you watch the world fall down

The music drips in my veins
As I carelessly drift away
Dance with me
The move of our hips
To the beat
Hands razed
Body grazed
The power in each word
The power to be heard
Overcoming every fear
A prayer for every tear
Colliding and flying
All around
The ground shaking
The earth so angrily quaking
Oh misery
Let go of me
Screaming just to feel
Screaming until my throat hurts
Because it reminds me
The rush is so real

Burning up the streets
Watching the flames eat
Feeding them with my anger
With my pain
Never going back
Fueled by my shame
Tossing away the keys
I'm leaving behind the old me
She's no longer my home
I'm ready to be the riot
Never keeping quite
I'm ready to be insane
Never being tame
Releasing the crazy in me
She's been chained up
Never being able to feed
I have this bloodlust controlling me
And she won't rest, she's too hungry
She'll take your soul
Eat it whole
A smile on her face
But there's no room to care
The fireworks explode
The river runs free
Letting this crazy feeling run through me
Throw my hands up
Tilt my head back
Scream to the sky
Let the stars take me
Laughing tell I cry
Crashing through the flames
Never going back
Never chaining myself that place
I'm on fire
As I tear up the streets
In the dark

The graveyard
Follow me
To the dark
Where we can see
All the light
That has always
Avoided me
Close your eyes
And drift away
Let the souls
Take away your pain
Let your heart go
Another way
So we can lay here today
Follow me
To the dark
Where we can see
All the light
That has always
Avoided me
Find yourself
In the mirror that lies
Beneath the tree
It's right beside of me
Where I lay
Cold
The graveyard
So dark they say
All the tears
And all the pain
Cold
Cold as night
Don't forget to fight
For your life
Don't end like me
Please just see
At the end of the hall
At the end of it all
There a door
That will wait for you
If you allow it too

Will you be the one
To free my heart
Will you be the one
To put together the torn apart
Will you be the one
Who never let's me go

Can you be the one
Who can love when I'm not strong
Can you be the one
To show what's right and wrong
Can you be the one
Who cares when no one else does

I will be the one
Who lookis into your eyes
I will be the one
To give you a heart that never dies
I will be the one
That will give you the hand to help you up

I'm scared to love anyone
I'm scared to let anyone in
I'm scared that all the memories
Will press play and begin
I'm scared to let myself feel
I'm scared to leave this dream
I'm scared to feel something real
Life's harder than it seems
I miss the silence
I miss the feeling without pain
Who am I kidding?
It's always been there
I've never been free
Pain is a part of me
There's only one way to break the chains
Of this eternal pain
This burning flame
This overwhelming shame
Taking the easy way out
Erasing this cloud of doubt
Erasing me

When angels die
They leave no mark
When they go
There is no spark
No tears are shed
No hearts are broke
No pain mislead
No words to choke on
When angels die
The leaves won't fall
When they go
No loved ones call
When angels die
The world grows dimmer
The pain is stronger
And love is slimmer
When angels die
The pain haunts easier
The face of evil
Grows sleazier
When angels die
The pain puts you down
You fall a little faster
And you hit the ground

I'm so tired of all the anger
I'm so done with all the pain
This world is getting stranger
I'm wearing all the shame

The blade is growing blurry
And my conscience is butting in
I'm doing this in a hurry
And the guilt is kicking in

This hole in my heart is starting to get deeper
Hello hello?
Is anyone there?
The blood drips
And time grows slower

Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame

Burry me beneath the Willow tree
Hold your tears, do not cry for me
Cast my soul along the river
Bite your lip, do not quiver

Don't bring me flowers to show your love
I will always see from high above
Don't cry for me, many a night
For when you're blind I'll be your sight

Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame

Summer, my missed friend
I'm waiting for winter to end
I miss your rays
As you smile bright
I miss the warm days
As I lay beneath your light
I miss the laugher you filled me with
I miss the leaves that flood the trees
I miss the breeze that I snuggled in
And the happiness you granted me
I miss the trips to the lake
And the days spent with my friends
I miss the way the sun would shake
And made the day seem like it would never end
I miss the gentle winds at night
And how I comfortably sat beneath the stars
I miss the summers moonlight
As I lay on the hood of the car
I miss the water wars I would fight
And the bomb fires we sat around
I miss the summer landscape sight
And the heat of the ground
So dear summer please come quick
My soul is in need of your warmth
Your warm smiles so thick
I will openly absorb

It seems you only catch my good dreams
And give me all the nightmares
But perhaps there's something good beneath horror
A message I must see
So all the gruesome scenes I'll endure
And then maybe when I finally find it
All the nightmares will flee

Did you ever wonder...
                                          Why we feel pain?
Why we fall easier than we get up?
                         Why the clouds part beneath shaky feet,
                         Why the snow falls in black and red flakes
                     Breaking
                         The
                      Coldest
                      Hearts
Why my music no longer flows sweet
                   And the foreign face in the mirror
Won't look me in the eye

The stars have finally spoken
My heart is on the mend
My soul no longer broken
As you gave your hand to lend

This swirling in my heart
As you hold me in your arms
This feeling of a fresh start
Knowing you will keep me from harm

The way you make me feel
And the smile that you leave
It's almost too good to be real
So good it's hard to believe

I never thought this would happen
It never occurred to me
But I'm so glad it did
With you I feel so free

You never try to change me
I never try to change you
It makes me so happy
And I know I make you happy too

Tonight I'm thanking the stars
For replying to my prayers
Tonight I know who we are
And I can give my heart to share

I took a sip, of a wine forgotten
And I was pulled by the force
And through halls not dusted
I was whisked away
In to a room that I had left blank
Walls un-painted
Floors all white
It was my room to fill
Full with delight
Because those darker rooms are gone
The ones that I've lived in so long
I have escaped from their angry claws
Finally unbound from their laws
I'm free again
I'm really free

Set the roof on fire....
It's a party in hell
Let the music inspire...
And then the roof fell
Dance beside the flames
Dance beneath the light
Dancing without shame
Below the stars tonight
Closer time pulls us in
And the music starts to get inside
And this ambush of feelings begin
And I don't even want to hide

Fragile flower
Bathing in rain shower
Soft red petals
Smooth and cold like metal
Frost at the tips
What's left of the sun it sips
This flower lives in cold
I don't know how it holds
But below our tree it grows
It's almost as if it knows
That my heart beats every day
In a rhythm for you to stay
And this flower never weeps
Never shuts its eyes to sleep
The flower wind can't shove
This flower is our love

You leave me with a beating heart
I'm no longer fallen apart
I've been put back together
I feel weightless like a feather
I no longer want to waste away
I'm still happy today
So I give my thanks to you
For doing what you do

Praying, your breathing that you won't fall
Running, your screaming to them all
So silent you feel yourself dying inside
All your pain you put away to hide
Watching as all of your walls crash in
Waiting for the parade to begin
You have to run away from your pain
You have to out run the pouring rain
You have to run straight into your fears
And the farthest from your tears

Broken castle a top a lonely hill
Every board is aging, rotted and frayed
The remains of frail memories will spill
Onto the dirt ground, once flourished I layed
The lights all flicker on and come to life
And the chandelier rises from the floor
The tune I danced with, when I was your wife
Dancing to the beat, open ballroom doors!
Theres a dark pulse of magic in the air
The years fall off my shoulders, I'm alive
I can picture you again standing there
I have been shocked so suddenly revived
And to take my last shaking dying breath
I can open my arms to you, and death

It was under the warmth of the sun
That the first tear fell
It was the beginning of "done"
And the opening of my hell

You had broken my soft trusting heart
Crashed into my wall
You pulled me apart
And made me fall

Let me go please let me go
i just want to know
do you really care?
do you see me standing there?
or is it someone else
please just tell me

I want to forget your eyes
That haunt me now
I want to forget the lies
But I don't know how

After every chance I gave
You wasted each one
After each path I paved
You hit me where it stung

Let me go please let me go
i just want to know
do you really care?
do you see me standing there?
or is it someone else
please just tell me  

And now I'm crying to myself
Because you called again
It's not good for my health
You aren't now, you weren't then

Let me go please let me go
i just want to know
do you really care?
do you see me standing there?
or is it someone else
please just tell me

Buzzing softly
Rattling like slow beaten drums
The air grew thick
And the clouds hovered grey
Black spider like vines
Crawling
Chasing me
Trying to flee from this darkness
The memories keep it near
Keep it here
Running to the trees
But slowly the leaves
Turn black
Dripping like ink
Bleedin from the ground
All around
It's so dark here
The sky blood red
The moon a black hole
In the sky
The vines like barb wire
Rip up my legs
Cut through my flesh
My teeth mesh
Cold the wind grips my throat
The silent scream
So loud
As the soft grey clouds
Cry tears

I need you to hold me,
I am so cold
Inside my body shivers
And my soul quivers
Don't disappear
I need you near
I want to feel your touch
Again, make me blush
Your words so sweet
Chase away the pain
Your laugh so soft
Cut away the strain
I love you so much
It burns inside
I love you to the ends if earth
It hurts to say it
You wipe away my tears
With these soft and gentle hands
You hold me so tenderly
It quakes the lands
Your whispers
They taunt me
As your lips
Tease my lips
I just need to know that
This is real
And not just a dream

I opened my heart
To a new beginning
So you could have a fresh start
So your world might stop spinning
But as I layed out my walls
You pushed at me
And slowly I watched them fall
And it hurt to see
You couldn't wait for me to come along
You had to have it now
You couldn't wait long
You made me bow
You see I don't like this
I can't lay my head to the floor
I won't watch this
As you parade like a *****
To this man you only just met
To this guy you want to love
I can't approve this yet
Even if you want me too
It's you I vowed to protect
After every mans cold dagger
I will be there to help select
Incase you stagger
Just don't let me down
I don't want to cry
Don't make me frown
Don't make me die

A small patch of the world
Where my imagination swirls
And on Fridays belongs to me
It's not a tall mountain, or the sea
But a room stacked high with everything
That I really need
Or maybe it's full with one thing
That means so much to me
A piano, and a microphone
Where I can sing all alone
And clean my heart when it is full
So I can think, so I may fill the hole

How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?
Set sail to sea but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid, always afraid
Of the things he's feeling

He could just be gone
He would just sail on!
He would just sail on

How can I be lost?
If I've got nowhere to go?
Searched the seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating
This seeking life, outside it's hell
Inside intoxicating

He's run aground like his life
Water much too shallow
Slipping fast, down with the ship
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway
Blame all gone away!
Blame gone away

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not

Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me, why can't I forgive me?!

Set sail to sea but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
So how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

Music fills my viens
Music cleans my pain
These wounds across my soul
Are gaping open , a widening hole
I dance with tears in my eyes
I dance to escape, to a new high
To forget the world behind me
To forget the things I see
I dance until my heart might burst
To forget the painful thirst
I dance tell I lose my way
I dance from night tell day
So lost in this party
Please, don't try to find me

Black casket
The lid closed
To many scars to cover up
Crisscrossed, up and down
Down her stomach
Across her wrist
Along her ankles
The priest insist
That no eyes will see
What the "devil" has done to me
Fresh tears
Cold fear
Fills the room
All pain
All doom
No meaning to a life so wasted
I left the world before I had tasted
Now nights are cold
On the plains of earth
Because I was thrown from heaven
And rejected from hell
What was worse was that I never fell
Alone in the dark
Because I couldn't stand the pain
I'm locked up in a box with my shame
The screams haunt my brain
This wild beast I could never tame
I climb the walls
Just hope I won't fall

Could it be that I have fallen from grace?
That I have lost touch with the universe?
Losing my grip on this revolving place
I can not tell if I've been trapped, or cursed
Loneliness in the bitterest of forms
I'm suffocating in the angry air
As I'm spinning in this fast forming storm
I can't help but notice you're not there
Pleading to see your face in this grey sky
I'm not sure why I still seem to miss you
After your deceitful, misleading lies
I really should have been utterly through
But still I sit here thinking of your name
Sinking father into my pool of shame

I've been thinking of you
I've been missing you
And though my mind is ready to forgive
And forget
My heart can't seem to stop remembering
You broke me
Crumbled me
I hated you for it
I hurt for it
But I have this empty hole
That I just need to fill
Before it swallows me too

Where do I start?
From the beginning ?
From the end?
From the moment I wished this would all end?
The moment that I lost faith?
The moment I lost hope?
Or the moment I lost myself?
Do I start from the first tear?
Or my first heartache?
Should I start from my first craving for pain?
Or my first feeling of shame?
The first time I fell hard?
Maybe I should start from now?
Never mind
I rather just skip to the end
Of it all

Some may say we're weird
Maybe we talk to much,
That we say odd things
And that we're interested in all the wrong hobbies
That we aren't mature
And we're foul
Some may say that we're dumb
Because we choose to be unique
They pass judgement before they look
They throw it away before they read the book
Well I say I'm blessed for every flaw they say we own
To me they're  perfections
I'm blessed to have you all beside me
Blessed to be accepted
So happy to know that you're there
And that I'm here too
Because I'm happy to have friends like you
That can see through
To me
And I am not blinded and I can see

I died my hair black....
It made me feel a little better
Then I died the ends blue ...
Made me think of you
I washed it twice tell it bled out to green...
Made me think of all the things we used to do
I cut my bangs...
Made me think of your arms
I straightened out my natural curls...
Made me remember how much you loved them
I put on my batman shirt...
Made me laugh, you always did love batman
I slipped into my yoga pants...
The comfort reminded me of your embrace
I put in my headphones and listened....
The soft voice sounded like yours
So Much has changed since then...

She loves him
He loves her
Everything should be perfect...
But it's a broken picture frame
Littered by broken glass
I stand here in the middle
Which way should I turn
They are both mean so much to me
Their to worlds collide
What should I say
What should stay secret
So close to tears
I can't solve this problem
Maybe its not them
Maybe...
It's me?

It was the first time I had talked to you
That I felt it spark alive
A tingling shock; I'd thought that I'd died
Like a switch
I was ready for trouble
And troubles my specialty

Pulling me from every side
Falling on the hot coals
I really wish that I could hide
Because everybody knows

Sometimes the shortest poems
               Hold the most meaning
                               And touch the most hearts....

You look me in the eye
Say you love me
That's a lie

Everydays a new issue
And you break me up
Just another crumpled tissue

You promise me sweet thing in my ear
Then tell me that they were fake
Everything that I hear
Is putting my feelings at stake

How could you **** me like this
When I give you everything
How can you shove me
When I just wanted you to see

But you're blind
And just won't listen
I wish that I could find

I hate that I am drowning
And you don't even care

I hate that my words aren't ryhming
Because I can't see or hear through my tears

And my hands are shaking
Because I hate knowing you're here

And that you can hear my sobs
And you just don't.... Care

You don't know my pain
You've never worn my chains
Only I bare my shame

You don't wage my fight
You can't cage my might
You don't walk in the night
With me....

You haven't felt my tears
You haven't faced my fears
You've never cheered
Me on...

You don't have to wear my scars
You don't gaze at my stars
And I don't know who you are
Anymore...