Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jun 2013 · 258
Watching the Birds
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Small birds chatter together
As I watch with a keen eye
I wonder what it's like to fly
Jun 2013 · 667
At the shadows threshold
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
I lay in the shadows once again
Where I laid before when
My heart was cloaked in darkness,
which it had shed
Until the darkness crept in again
No such love for someone like me
Someone so foolish who refuses to see
That alone is where I will be
Cloaked in my black robe
Knitted with the tears I shed for a damaged heart
One so shattered and torn apart
It beats nevermore
Thump thump thump a distant echo
In my memory
Now is ringing with silence
And to believe I was saved
Oh a fool I can be
To think any god would waste time with me
Jun 2013 · 757
Plague
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Watching you leave
Left me crumpled
Broken and so alone
Your in my viens
And its like ice
Nothing stays the same
Nothing last forever
Wishing and praying doesn't help
Not when the bitter taste of tears
Scar my tounge with their salty revenge
What's left for me?  
What's  left to breathe?  
When you were the air that kept me breathing
Kept me seeing
Your running through me
Never leaving my head
The record spinning , so numb  and dead
Theres no comfort in my bed
There's no escape in the dark
No way to avoid facing it all
It sinks into my skin
Leaving me shaking
Fighting to remember to breathe
And when the sleep does come
The pain that fled for a blur of what seems like seconds
Flood back inside in the day
I cant keep you out
You're like a plauge
Whats left of my shattered heart
But the worst pain of all is you don't even care
Jun 2013 · 374
Watching it Sink
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
My porcelain heart
Is broken again
I glue the parts
And hold it in
The hurt the tears
and all the pain
The roaring storming
That begins to rain
The things that make you so right
And the things that make you so wrong
The stupid things we chose to fight
And one beating heart that made us so strong
But thats thrown away not spared a glance behind
Its thrown far into the waves, and left me dying inside
Jun 2013 · 579
In the bottom of the bottle
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Sometimes I want to wake up from dreaming
And see that I'm still here
I want to keep on breathing
Open my eyes and have the world be clear
I want the pain to go away
And the world to be right
I want the happiness to stay
And give up the fight
Sometimes I see it in a bottle of pills
Takes my whole being just to quit
Knowing after a handful too many will ****
And my mom will take the hardest hit
I just have to be strong if not for me for them
I've got to pull through and be the strongest I've ever been
Jun 2013 · 1.2k
Turn Back the Clock
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Sometimes I find myself waiting
Waiting for the old times
The good times, to come back
Im stuck here in slow motion
Surronded by this constant commotion
Sometimes I break and I have no strength left
No im flooded by the pain
Left to fight this war by myself
I don't know who I am
I barely know whats real
I barely feel
Jun 2013 · 680
What's Under the Bed?
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Twisted little lullaby
Do you hear the children cry?
Song lyrics laced with fear
A woeful cry a frozen tear

Under your bed is where he sleeps
Watching and listening while you weep
Waiting for the time to come
When the nightmares start and you begin to run

Keep your eyes closed because he can see
Into your eyes and in your dreams
Toying and playing, taunting you too come near
He can smell the stench of your growing fear

One bite is all it will take for him to claim your soul
One bite for him to devour you whole
One wrong move you make and he'll take your breath
One wrong move brings your death
Jun 2013 · 1.2k
Vampire
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Dark seeps into her crimson blood
Taunting him to come feed
The evil ripping through him
Building to a flaming need

Skin so cold it feels of ice
Drinking, eating in the dark of night
Soothing and singing
For her not to fight

Until shes pale and cant see
Until she wont cry
No evidence of her agony
She wont try

Silent, stealthy vampire
Blood dripping from throbbing fangs
The shell left of frozen death
No life, no breath
Jun 2013 · 309
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Harsh and bitter diatribe
Broken deep alone inside
A sad story to call our own
Hiding in this lonesome home
Crying when no ones around
Waiting but im never found
In my eyes my pain is clear
Screaming loud but no one hears
Help me I am falling fast
In the present and in the past
But no one has time to see
My growing flaming agony
Jun 2013 · 720
This emptiness
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Harsh and bitter diatribe
Broken deep alone inside
A sad story to call our own
Hiding in this lonesome home
Crying when no ones around
Waiting but im never found
In my eyes my pain is clear
Screaming loud but no one hears
Help me I am falling fast
In the present and in the past
But no one has time to see
My growing flaming agony
Jun 2013 · 614
Forget Me Now
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
I am the forgotten,
Leave me here where I shall stay
Forget me now
My memory will only fade

Torn inside, like shredded paper
Unfixable just go
Rip me more,
They will never know

A blank page every time you turn
The dusty cover aged and fragile
Leave me now on this shelf
Where I will stay  
Where I shall fade
Jun 2013 · 615
I just want to cry
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
I just want to cry
Wishing that I'd die
This anger deep inside
Hoping just to hide
Hating you for hating me
There are scars that cut so deep
******* pain inflicting me
These ignorant people never see
Broken inside this fragile wing
The broken song I always sing
Why is it so hard to let go
Of the railing, of the rope
I'm dying already
My heartbeat unsteady
Until it all goes blank
Deeper and deeper I sink
Just trying to cope
Jun 2013 · 554
I fix you, will you fix me?
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Did you know, when you turned away
That through the pain I would stay?
Did you guess that while you cried
I gave my all, the rules implied
And in the blur of the fight
I did what was always right
I fought for you through the flames
I played all those jarring games
And now I'm the one falling apart
And I pray that you'll fix my heart
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
All the children dance
Beneath the sun
Crying, because it's been so long
Dead inside the rays warm there souls
Eventually they begin to feel
Forgetting the nightmares of darkness
Gratified to see the lush trees
Heaving breaths of fresh air
Instead of the cold air filling shriveled lungs
Just the soft heat warming their skin
Kind gentle winds brush through matted hair
Loving trees hang just out of reach
Moist grass  below bare feet
Never had they felt this before
Overwhelmed they stopped and stared
Processing these strange things
Questioning the being of it all
Rain threatened to fall
Suppressing their bubbling fears
They began to dance again
Until the clouds overhead withdrew
Vivid sunshine breaking threw
Within they all knew it was then
X marking the spot in their hearts
Yet they were not discouraged
Zestfully they danced the rain away smiling
May 2013 · 519
The way it used to be
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Rain falls crashing in on me
The clouds gather darker than before
We aren't who we used to be
I don't know who we are anymore

This used to be such an easy game
Until it all began to fall away
I barely even know your name
It's all a blur from yesterday

Gathering the shattered bits of the past
I wish for the way it used to be
I can't remember how time went by so fast
I barley remember the old me

I rarely ask for help but I'm asking now
I'm breaking under this weight
I need to get out I don't know how
Help me out of this broken state

I'm falling apart at the seems
Nothing's the way it was
Can no one hear my woeful screams?
No one ever does
May 2013 · 761
Deadly games
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
I hear the laughter
Echoing through my head
Haha I hear the sarcasm
Floating up from under my bed
No fuzzy monsters
No, the devil instead

It's funny you see
He looks in my eyes
When he tells me the truth
It sounds like lies
Funnier yet that
He smiles so humanly at me
I feel him wearing me down
Until I can't see

Better still
He kills me softly
Without will
He buries me
A whisper of my name
Left still wet on his lips
These deadly, deadly games
Left my soul a fragile wisp

Maybe I should have read the rules more carefully
May 2013 · 341
No Ones' Home
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Breaking into myself
Every lock I had to pick
Every maze I had to get through
Just to open up the last bordered up door
And find out no ones' home
I'm all alone
Go figure
May 2013 · 417
Look into cracked mirrors
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Opening unaware eyes
Staring into the sad reflection
Every aspect a reason to cry
Made up of imperfections

Every fight and every beating
Every tear and cry
Left bleeding
Why do I try?

Every failure and regret
Every cut every bruise
Every reason I wept
I always lose

Remains of hair that used to flow
A dried up memory of the vivid glow
Every scar against broken skin
Every battle I will never win

Every word burnt into my being
Eyes unsure of seeing
Eyes left dull green bleeding
A strong soul left fleeting

History just keeps repeating
May 2013 · 584
Flicker
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Broken wings on a butterfly
Struggling to breath
Don't
         Let
                 It
                           Die
Cold stings frozen hands
No snow falls
No
            One
                                        Understands
Soft strum of your guitar strings
The fast flutter of quick fingers
Along
             I
                         Sing
In your arms I'm safe and sound
Just you and me
               No
                            One
                                               Around
Watch the sun drop before our eyes
The stars left hanging there
Lighting
         Up
                       The
                                     Sky
Close your eyes
Before what we have dies
Like a flame
Bending the same
We
                Must  
                               Ignite
                                                         Tonight
Before our wings give out
May 2013 · 422
Behind her eyes
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Those eyes
Full of despair
The way she felt
It wasn't fair

So full of pain
She was drenched
It falls with the rain
So drenched


So bitter with the taste of fear
Sitting in her mouth, just sitting
With the taste of tears
Spitting it out, spitting

Abandoned left all alone
Neglected her heart left at home
Without anyone around
It lay broken and beaten into the ground

Black eye and bruised face
Her wings broken in last place
Smiling still she was dying
Falling broken her children crying

Until she opens her eyes
Someone new in her place
The years she spent dying
That person left with no trace

She was dead
After the years she bled
The goodness of her left shed
Left a broken soldier instead
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Seek Not My Heart
by Kit McCallum
Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.
May 2013 · 552
They Told Me To Kiss You
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Under the rain we ran and we splashed
Like we were children again
The clouds were dark
And there was no sun
But you shined your brightest then
Your eyes so blue
They capture you
And never let you go
They watched as I took your hand
And placed it near my heart
I knew you could understand
Kiss they said
And my cheeks glowed red
Even though I've kissed you before
Kiss they said
And I turned my head
And began to blush more
It was in the moment
I decided to do it
I pulled you in
And the kiss began
And ****, I wish it didn't end
May 2013 · 3.7k
Thunder
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Thunder crackles in the sky
Fleeting pictures of lightning flash when I close my eyes
The rain fights against the glass
I lay quiet waiting for the weather to **pass
May 2013 · 674
Red Light
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
A flash in the sky
One question, why?
A small bit of fear
The feeling that it's near
The mentioning of stranger things
A presence from above the radio sings
The dark night sky filled by lights
Are the sightings right
The things that roam inside my head
At night when the stop light is red
May 2013 · 408
Oh Love...
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Love you forbidden storyteller
Won't you come to me tonight
Whisper a story in my ear
A little louder so I can hear
So when I open my eyes
I might believe in the lies
So that when I'm left for dead
The pain might seem small instead
And you can come back the next night
And tell me another story
So it can happen all over again
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
The hallway seemed to sway with the motion of the tears filling my eyes. I tried to keep going to get to the door, but I collapsed there in the hall. The weight crashing down on me. She was dead. My only love was dead. I’d been with her for six years and we’d been waiting to get married. That was all over now. They had killed her. I laid my head in my hands and let it all go. I fell spiraling down into the darkness at the edge of my consciousness. My very last thoughts echoing in my head as I slipped into this grief coma, they would all pay, they would pay.

The clock on the wall ticked loudly as I made my way to Mr. Jefferson’s office. The hallways were empty, an unusual thing for a Monday morning in a business firm. I tried not to let it get in my head. I had a job to fulfill. If I didn't get this one right the boss would surely wring my neck. She wasn't the most understanding person, and tolerated no mistakes. A dark cherry wood door lay at the end of the long hallway with a silver plate spelling out Mr. Jefferson’s office. All the other doors I had passed had, had similar ones.
I knocked on the door quietly waiting for an invitation inside. I took a deep breath and steady myself. Telling myself I had to do this. There was still no beckoning to come in so I knocked louder, but was only greeted by silence. I opened the door quickly and peered in. Mr. Jefferson laid slumped over his paper work in the messy piles on his desk.
A bullet through his head. Well this was just great now the boss had another reason to chew me out. I closed the door quietly and made my way to the body. Blood spilled from the back of his head and off his shoulders dripping into the puddle on the floor. I took my phone from my pants pocket and called Leo.
“Hey, Leo we got a problem, Jefferson’s already dead. They’re a step ahead of us. What’s my next move?” the line was silent for a minute until he replied, “what was the cause of death?” I looked at the back of Jefferson’s head one more time to make sure that was no other abrasions. “Bullet wound in the back of his head, no sign of struggle either.”
“Alright, I’ll inform the boss. You should probably make your way back to the headquarters. I can tell you now the boss isn't going to be happy.” I sighed I already new that. The ***** had been riding my *** all month now. It wouldn't hurt her to give us all a break once in a while. I closed my phone. I made my way out the door. No doubt someone else would find Jefferson and would immediately go for the video tapes.
Luckily I didn't come here alone, I brought my computer genius along, that could erase us from every tape and cover his tracks. I gave a polite smile to each person I passed and had to fight to walk calm and smoothly out the front doors. Brain already waited inside the car looking anxious. We were both fairly new to the working in the field. Usually the boss assigned me on small assignments. I got inside the drivers side and pulled out right away. “Jefferson was already dead when I got there, bullet wound to the back of the head, what I don’t understand is how no one heard it, or why he didn't struggle,” I told Brian. “Maybe a silencer on the gun? And perhaps his lack of struggle was because there was a gun pointed at his head?” I thought it over. It was possible but that was different from all the others. “They usually cover their tracks better than that though,” I looked over at Brain whose face was crinkled by his deep thoughts. “Maybe they were in a rush?” The wound had looked freshly made. “Perhaps,” I said still mulling it over. “I suppose we’ll just have to wait for the police reports.”

As I had figured Liana was furious. “How is it that four out of seven of the people I've told you to get information from then take out have ended up already dead when you got there?” She spit angrily in my face. Liana was a scary lady but she didn't scare me.
“I don’t know you tell me,” I said and smiled at her. I could feel the audience behind me stop what they were doing and cringe. “Do you think this is funny?” Liana said quietly.
Her face had gone rigid and her fist clenched so tightly at her sides, the knuckles had turned a ghostly white.
I knew which battles to fight and which to surrender. “No, nothing is funny,” I spat out clenching my jaw. I really hated this stupid job. If it wasn't for Liana keeping my brother alive I wouldn't be here. And just as I thought it Liana cheerfully reminded me, “do remember darling, your brothers life lies in my hands. One wrong move and it’s bye bye brother, understood?” Her dark eye’s drilling into mine. The feeling of hatred seeped from my body as it was overflowing inside me now. “Understood,” I growled.
“Good, now get out. I’ll call you when I have your next assignment.” She turned but stopped to look back,
“ and next time do not mess up,” then walked back into her office slamming the door.
I let the breath I had been holding out and left quickly before they all burned holes into me with their heavy glares. I made my way to Kyle’s room. The walls were painted dark blue with small silver stars painted all over. I had painted it for him, he loved the stars. “Kyle?” I said shakily looking down at the boy. His tiny body shaking in pain. He wouldn't eat. The vomiting broke his bones sometimes. His bones stuck through his skin like his skin had only been draped over his frail bones. The tears flowed from my eye’s and down my face. He was only fifteen.
He was so sick, I just wanted him to be okay. Healthy again. The reason I’d signed up to join this place was because they promised to save him. They said as soon as I finished the biggest assignment they would heal him. But I grew more and more doubtful.
Kyle had been infected, by the scientist. A super parasite they’d created. It caused brain disorders, like anorexia. Kyle’s brain was being attacked making him suicidal and making him believe he was anorexic. Making him believe he had to do these things. When it first started he was only depressed. He began cutting himself. When I saw the deep cuts in his arms and on his stomach  I asked him about it and his answer had been, “I didn't want to do I just had to“ . At the time I’d misunderstood him.
Now I knew. He literally had been forced by the parasites inside his brain.
His eye’s were closed and I could see the struggle it took for him to intake each breath. His arms, thin ropes, laid at his side. It took a massive amount of energy and strength for him to even turn his head. “I will fix this Kyle, believe in me when I tell you that, I love you.” I kissed his cold forehead and left shutting the door slowly.
This is the beginning of a story i'm writing, I hope you enjoy. Any feedback of ideas a welcome:)
May 2013 · 250
If only
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
I wish my friends would stop dying,
Stop crying
Stop giving up
They throw their hands up
I wish I could save you all
But with that weight on my shoulders... I might fall
May 2013 · 311
Can you see?
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
You look at me but do you really see?
Can you see the pain?
Or the shame?
The scars?
Do they define me?
Maybe it's better I didn't know
Maybe...
May 2013 · 544
Where Are You Now?
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
You used to fight for me
Like I fight for you
You used to help me see
And I'd help you too

But lately I find myself more and more alone
And you seem to be so far away
I feel like no ones home
And I'm alone to stay  

You slowly drift away from me
And I just try to keep up
You're so far I can barely see
I want to call your name but I'd hate to interrupt

I reach beside me but you're gone
I try not to cry
But you've been beside me so long
I can't understand but I try

I'm so alone, and afraid
I'm searching for your face
I smell the sheets where you laid
You aren't there, it's just cold empty space

Why aren't you here
I miss your embrace
This single tear
For a heart I misplaced
May 2013 · 560
Rest In Peace
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Goodbye fragile soul
Sadness overwhelmed the heart
Of a fourteen year old today
He fought and he fought
But the dark swallowed him
I shed these tears for him
I whisper his name to the stars
And scream it to the clouds
The words scraped across his already bleeding heart
"******" "loser" "poser" "freak"
Each another cut into his flesh
Until they added up to the rope around his neck,
Swinging there lifeless the angles cried for him
And we lost him, and then they all care
Not when he pleaded for the help when we had a chance to save him
Not when his heart still beat firmly in his chest
Not when his skin was still warm
Only now do the tears splash upon his cold body
Only now do they ask god for him back
When he no longer breathes
When he no longer smiles
Or laughs ...or lives
I hold the memory of you In my arms
As I struggle not to leave myself
As I fight not to follow you home
Because though it hurts
I will live for you
I will go all the places you can't anymore
Breathe for us both
Smile and laugh for your spirit
Just promise to be at peace
And rest your eyes
Good bye
May 2013 · 680
Four legged beast
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
A beast inside of a beast
Four legged or two
A beast thick with fur, or a full head of hair
A beast you thought you knew
Until the full moon slips into the sky
And the two legged beast turns to four
A sharp piercing howling cry
Unravels the truth of the lore
Running along side a pack of beasts of four legs
The thick pads of their paws imprint the ground
And the need of speed simply begs
For the four legged beast to be found
Running tell that large moon lit brightly in the sky
Lowers it's shining head beyond the horizon
The four legged beast turn back too two with a cry
Saddened that the race was done
Looking up at the pastel sky the beast says until next time
And off he goes to resume his normal life
May 2013 · 310
Imagine That
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
When your friends are falling apart
And you own a broken heart
Your eyes fill with tears every time it's dark
And the pain inside hurts
You overflow with this need to fade
And you wish you could trade
Your life for the perfect ones on tv
And your dying inside but no one can see
You split your skin again, people won't understand
And you hate yourself for the scars left on your wrist below your hand
But in the dark there looks like only one road to go
And if there's another you just didn't know
And the rain is falling harder than it was before
The thunders so loud it shakes the door
We can't be perfect I'm nowhere near
But maybe if I pray loud enough god will hear
Maybe if I ask for him to just hold me
Like I need to be
These feelings and thoughts will subside
And I can fix myself inside
Imagine that wouldn't it be nice?
But something so easy always has a price
May 2013 · 672
Mothers Day
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
The morning light spilt in through the window
The birds chirped a soft melody
The curtains swayed with the breeze
And I watched the ebbing trees
Today I honor a woman I trust
A woman who gives me all
Today I honor a woman so strong
A woman who never falls
Fighting through all the blood and disaster
Fighting through all the pain
This woman fought for everything I have
And crazily she's still sane
I love you mom
Don't ever forget
That I love you with all my heart
And you fight for us even if we don't see it
And I will never forget
May 2013 · 691
Soldier
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Fighting for something I believed was right
Something I was willing to die for
I wouldn't give up whether dark or light
I stood there a soldier

Until I found out that nothing was true
The whole thing a lie
This thing I believed in through and through
That I would've put down my life

It tore me apart left me shredded in wait
For a death to come sweep me away
But I picked up my head and followed a fate
That would leave me here to stay

It was hard at first
But sorely I moved on
It could've been worse
Every dusk and dawn

But a soldier fights even if the orders change
Even if it seems impossible
Even if you lost your way
And I'm a soldier through and through
To the bone and I made it too
May 2013 · 302
Inside your eyes
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Follow me
Into the sea
That I am swallowed in

Inside your eyes
Where sadness hides
Is where a love begins

I see you there
Your soul is bare
Don't hide away from me

Let down your tears
Unwrap your fears
I'll hold you while you sleep

Just close your eyes
And realize that I am here for you
Don't pull away
Please just stay
And I will stay here too
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
They asked me a question
One that sounded so easy
They asked what my Utopia is
But answering this made me queasy

With every pro came a con
It was not simple at all
Of course I could say a world without
War, starvation, poverty, and hate
But what is a life with out a bridge to cross
Without a sad memory or loss
With out a struggle with a victory
Or a smile and a misery?
You see this is why I answered to them
My Utopia is where I am
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
The way I see it you're all ready gone
I push away so fast
The way I see it I'll be leaving by dawn
This night was our last

I'll be packing my bags and leaving soon
Don't worry you'll find much better
When the clock strikes  at the tip of noon
My eyes will grow a bit wetter

There's no turning back I try to believe
In these words that I say
It's time to go, it's my time to leave
I've been ready to do this all day

The train goes by
I wonder why
I never boarded that train
Maybe love is deeper than
This fear of causing pain
May 2013 · 527
Hell is What We Make It
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
The darkness smelt of death and fallen tears
Blood painted to spell your name on the walls
The stench of the remaining fear pasted here
I stand before fiery waterfalls
The darkness eating away at my being
Spend  eternity lost inside a maze
The graphic things I found myself seeing
I thought was only a meaningless daze
Time grew slower creeping by, I went on
I was lost to fight demons of my past
I had no knowledge, was it dusk or dawn?
The path I follow, a mirror of the last
This enigma I find myself alone
Hell is a sinners last and only home
Tried something with a darker feel to it, but this one isn't my favorite.
Apr 2013 · 1.7k
Weekend Nights and Metallica
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
I've decided if I can't  be the fairy tale person
I want to be
I might as well be carefree
Dancing with my arms in the air
Run my fingers through my hair
Jamming to Metallica with the music up
The lyrics never giving up
My speakers shaking as it drowns my pain
Hey who said sadness had to be lame?
Might as well make it as good as I can
Midnight pouting, I'm not a fan
I rather dance
Twirl and prance
Rock out on the syllables they sing
Dance with the vibes it brings
Give myself away
To the hearty party sway
Ahhh what a day
Apr 2013 · 839
Resentment of Myself
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Fragments of a child with no fear
A child without a tear
Lay on the ground
Spinning around
Tainted by that man
By that boy
By that girl
Broken people
Stepped on toys
Thrown away
And taken the next day
Silent nights spent in dispair
Waiting for the comfort that's never there
Struggling to keep on
Watching the lights of dawn
Settling for a broken home
Inside myself I'm so alone
Abandoned by the one true person I can trust
The one person keep I must
Me, myself and I
But that person has died
A ghost of a careless being
Drifts off into a dream
So surreal and empty now
It's all gone now
Wrap my arms around cold skin
This time I let the darkness win
Deeper and deeper I feel myself sink
Before the dark I dare to blink
Just another poem about a broken soul
Crying about never being whole
I can taste resentment on my tounge
Why should I care?
Reasons? I can think of none
Apr 2013 · 244
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
This scar cut the deepest
As I looked into the mirror
I looked into my soul
And found that I'm even more ruined
As broken then I was before
I'm falling apart at the core
The tears fresh as blood
And your name rolls off my
Tounge
Your absence in my heart
Tore the last bits of me apart
And this time I just want it to end
I just want this comstant pain away
I don't want the evidence bare on my arms
I don't want these memories inside
I just want it all to go away
Let it go away
Apr 2013 · 382
Goodbye for Now
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
It's time to really look at myself
Look deep into my eyes
Look at the pain I've caused
And heal
Even if it sends me somewhere dark
Even if I'm scared
I have to right my wrongs
And fix myself
Before I can move forward
From all that I have lost
I am taking a break from many things, I have to spend some time fixing things that have been broken.
Apr 2013 · 412
Face the Mirror
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Sometimes I pretend I'm someone else
So I don't have to be me
Until I open my eyes
And face my reflection
Apr 2013 · 855
Suicide
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
The signs on the doors are flipped to open
The stores turn on the lights
We pretend like we are safe
Like we can all share a smile
While we slowly **** ourselves together
As the wars get worse
Bombs blow up
People die
And we dare stand beneath the clouds
Questioning god as to why?
Innocents are killed
For the reckless of another
It was revenge
One eye for the other?
We won't need them anyways
We're all blind
I've finally lost hope
Lost faith in myself
And in mankind
Apr 2013 · 532
Battle Scars
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Warm water around my ankles
I watch the waves sink in then slither away
I watch the moon rise before the day
Watching the stars rip their way into the sky
These battle scars, I wait for them to fade
While watching the moon rise and the sun set
Everyday
Yet the scars only stay
I wish I could stop for how much it hurts
How much shame weighs on me
How disgusted I feel
Like I let you all down
Like I let myself down
Like I'm never going to change
Like they might never fade away
Like I lost this fight
These are the times I wish
*I could fade into the night
Apr 2013 · 281
Rain
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Rain
is just the world
taking in so much
that it has to let go and
*cry
Apr 2013 · 324
Not So Easy
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Do you think if I cut my hair
I might become someone else ?
If I change my clothes
And the piercing in my nose
I could hang the old me up on the shelf?
Do you think if I cover the scars
And I wash out the hair die
That I could wash out the lies
And maybe become one with the stars?
Do you think if wiped up the tears
And rearranged my room
That I could change how I feel
And stop pretending that this is real
Maybe mop up the pieces with a broom?
Maybe I could reconstruct my shattered dreams
No, cause nothing is as easy as it seems
Apr 2013 · 359
Symphony of Love
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Softly my heartbeat
Each beat a note to my symphony
Of love for you
Apr 2013 · 444
Run
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Run
I want to run away
Just to feel free
I don't have to run
From an empty family
I've got a mother who cares simply to much
Her heart the biggest I've ever seen
I just want to run
I don't want to run away to be mean
Simply to feel the rush
I want to run away with you
I want to watch the morning sunrise and watch the grass dew
I want to run just for the pleasure of it
Just to feel the wind
I want to run until I have to quit
I want to run just to come back home
Because when I ran I was truly alone
I want to run so I really know what I have
I want to run so I will see clear
I want to run just for the fear
Of being caught of being sought out
I just really want to run
Apr 2013 · 1.1k
Addicted
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
I think I'm addicted to you
I think I'm in love with you
So deep I'm drowning in it
But I don't mind...
Next page