what i said:
"you sound rough this morning."


what i meant:
"your voice is lavender and honey and tea time and supernovas colliding with gentle breezes and if i could wake up to it, just once, cocooned in a tangle of your arms and couch cushions and that blanket you keep in the back of your car, i swear by the stars in my eyes no one on this godforsaken planet would be out of earshot of my singing

i hope that tonight when i dream of you--it is no longer a matter of uncertainty, but anticipation--you speak like you've just overslept your alarm and frantically motored yourself to where i am, like is the case today.

i wish you had chosen me but if i could only listen to you speak to me, about anything--rivers or math homework or football or belonging or music or even your girlfriend--i promise i would listen with the beating urgency of a swimmer in a frozen stream, i would savor each word from your lips, like they were the spring and i was the underground daisy waiting for your kiss.

and in precisely three days i will have an essay to compose about a beautiful topic that would consume me thoroughly were it not for the memory of your groggy morning voice, so full of raspy complacency i can't breathe but instead of fulfilling my obligations i will be hashing out halfway comprehensible poetry about you and crying about how i cannot recreate the sound of your voice with any combination of hollowly clicking keys.

you are so beautiful that i could spend the remainder of my life with a five-subject notebook, scrawling 'your eyes. your smile. your hands. your voice' over and over endlessly and die feeling as though i had lived a thousand years of quiet adventure.

you are so much and too much for me and i have no idea why you see as much in me as you do but i will not question it, for fear that if i were to come too close to you, to run my fingers along the marvel of your face you would shrivel and unfurl into nonexistence, like the leaf in the fire."


and also:
"why can't your voice always sound like this?"

and finally:
"******* you're attractive"

Have you ever made a mistake,
then passed by every opportunity to rectify that mistake,
for fear that, you will make a new mistake.

You live your entire life
thinking maybe it’s a mistake not to fix your mistake
for fear that, you will make a new mistake.

We would be considered one.
Your hand would always be in mine, forever intertwined.
We would love through the losses and care through the heart breaks.
You would always be by my side, promising to stay forever.

Forever.
Just another word you used to engulf me in your world that you controlled.
You said we could do anything.

We could fly.

We could fall.

We could have it all.

But we can’t.
Because your hand has left mine, and you left my side.
I never knew forever could end so soon.
Now it is just me and you.

Two.

I know your pain, I met it long ago.
I just wanted you to know that
I’m here to hold whatever comes.

I know your pain; I met it long ago,
When my steps became as empty
As the bottles of red wine of my winery.

I know your pain; I met it long ago,
Right after the smile I used to frown
Crushed down to the cold floor.

I know your pain; I met it long ago.
Believe in those four little words,
Believe in the scars I bear.

I know your pain; I met it long ago.
She used to be tough as it seems,
And the tears grew as rivers inside my eyes.

I know your pain; I met it long ago.
And wherever you go it may go with you,
But never forget I will always be there to fight beside you…

Breathing sore throughout the nights of Babylon
unspeakable truth lays down where man rises.
I speak your name in silence
and, magnificientely, come to my dictating place
to rise up our empty voids to the stars.

We used to bend to material love
but now, that our souls had risen up to the skies,
we don't need more words.
The look in your eyes replace the words of your lips
and the wind whispers the wishes of your wisdom.
I am you! And you are in me...

I can stand the soreness of my body now,
can you feel my heart beating for you?
Can you feel the strenght of our love bonding us?
Restricted steps enclosure our bodies,
we dance in harmony, a tango, the life, the love...

Rain drops refresh the sweat stuck in our veins,
and I'm in love with you...
I, now understand the meaning of forever,
and it means our blind love.
I close my eyes as long as I love you,
I don't love your body, I love you inside...

I am you, and you are in me...
The presence that stills forever!
A feeling with no explanation at all,
just a meeting of two souls in a void.
I love you and forever will...