stupidity is nothing but a state of mind,
my mother told me as i fetched
tears from the well that i had thought
run dry when i was just a child

amazing what you can find if you
dig deep enough, and dig i did

i could feel you there, but i couldn't
see anything through the self induced
blurs that ran from eyelash to cheek
to chin to the soil that desperately
desired to be quenched under the
soles of my worn leather boots

i yelled out, senseless sentences,
about how you had broken me,
bone by bone, and watched me suffer,
and the anger opened my eyes so
that i could see i was yelling at the grains
that teased me with their dancing in the breeze

your voice still found a way into my ears
telling me that the only finger prints on those stones
were my own

i hated you then, but i recalled something
else my mother had once told me,
you can only hate someone you've loved

How can you overcome the past,
Patch yourself up and return to life
Reborn each dawn
Can you hold my attention?
For how long?
My gaze forever adrift.
Peaceful
Confused by,
Living,
Dreaming,
Sensing.
A prisoner to yourself
In more ways than we understand.
*******.

I saw a world of only me
Deep in my mind
I saw a place where all particles and cells were me
I was in a place where the greater presence was me
In this place, everything was one
Everything is one
We are one
This place is not so different from our own.
Everything changed
Nothing changed
I was everything as was everyone else

I looked into Pandora's box, and guess what, i didn't like what i saw.
I saw someone i care about, reeling, and throwing herself into the arms of men who care for nothing but ***.
You never said what you wanted to say to me, and you still don't, Confusion turns to Anger and now my name is the dirt you walk on. Have you no idea, that the worst thing that could happen to my soul right now, would be for you to say "i've changed my mind".

I feel happy again, i still miss you, and i know i'll never have a love like yours. So why try reclaim the past? why should i stitch myself back together to be torn apart once more?

You wasted your time on me eh? that's nice, what a lovely thing to say,
I hope one day you find someone you wont omit those most important truths from,
Someone like me, but not me.

The Chapter is written, I will always love you.
But it is a dead love, and knows no resurrection or solace,
Closure is what we both need, I don't like seeing **** take advantage of the emotionally vulnerable, especially not one i value so much, my friend who doesn't talk.
My love who doesn't love me.

Remember who you are, because i can't do it for you.

...It's the sensation your heart feels after watching an old film,
That lingering emptiness and intense nostalgia for the 'simpler days.'
The desire to have your personal 1940s Film Noir lover,
Or to have a love story worthy of an art-house vintage film.
Longing for someone to dance with you , slowly and gently,
When God has promised you a man of faith,
You also pray that
He is also,
A gentleman...