I've wanted to do a lot of things.
I want the experience and that thought attracts me to almost doing it. Even the bad things of life and I've always talked myself out of it. But what if I didn't?
This is being human.
You are attracted to things. You want experience. You want to live and be constantly assured that you are, be that by feeling things intensely like the rush of ****** or the strangling of someone. Or hearing heavy breathing in the middle of the night. Or classical music so strong it makes you cry. Or deep conversations with your uncle and cousin about religion and life at three in the morning. Or smelling something like fresh baked bread you made with your grandmother or the smell of an aired out house that brings back childhood memories or the smell of your lovers skin that is tangy and a little something else.
You must constantly satisfy your senses to prove to yourself that you are alive.