They tried to love me /  but I always put a barrier in the way

I don't want them to be hurting
I know they have pain right now in their lives
I wish I could comfort them but I cannot
I know they have good family and friends so I wish them well.

I projected my insecurities
They came back to me

I kept pushing away
I see how annoying it is for another to go quiet and distant
I was afraid of rejection
I got it again
I spoke my mind if uncomfortable
It wasn't comfortable
He wanted an easy life
I didn't know how easy my life would be
I wanted them to accept me when I couldn't fully accept myself
They taught me to heal deeper by my fears
I'm learning to embrace more of me
No longer together
I still care and will love them anyway
I want them to be ok.

I've acted from both fear and love
             I see where they link and overlap

I lack complete self love and acceptance
I'm trying to get there
I'll accept where I am in this moment

I'm learning about my relationship style
How and why I do and say the things I do
I'm learning more deeply to feel into the sensitivities and trials
I'm understanding more
How can I be a healthier me
Where should my boundaries be
What does the other person need
How can we understand
Compassion
Hand in hand