recently i have been living beneath the soil
unable to breathe
each breath brings a mouthful of pain and disgust
my lungs fill with these things
shards of people
with your monstrous teeth
you will dig and find me there
unable to speak
tear me apart like a carnivore
the smell of blood is too overwhelming
the scars are still raw from your existence

Surely I could
Mimic
In time the
Laughable
Ease of love

sleep evades me
i cannot rest
as long as i am uncertain

tomorrow i will leave my home
something that i do often
to gain a degree
but tomorrow offers something new
for i'm leaving for new land
and instead of being only hours from home
i will be across the sea
greeted by a temporary family
as i embark on a new adventure
one that is solely my own

so i say a brief good-bye
for i will return in time for school once more
two months over seas
Italy, please be kind to me

crown of roses
stripped of their thorns
but dangerous still in their beauty
capturing the glances of sweet deception
and lingering lips

those woven in the most fire
extinguish beautiful flowers

children
marked by innocence
yet already stained
by ever-growing adolescence
who are you?
they remain faceless
until they attain the understanding
sounds of laughter slowly diminish
and are replaced by words
the joy is stolen back
for it was never truly theirs
the temporary purity
quickly becomes spotted
with yellow and green

rainfall creates wreckage
on sleepy country towns
the river submerges roads and houses
they're searching for higher ground

the pubs and the stores on Main Street
all normally alight
are drowning in Muskoka river
through water they must fight

back roads are gone
all washed away
the Big East River is rising

state of emergency declared
the town will survive
for help is soon arriving

stale air between your kisses
reach me in waves of pallid grey
the unspoken tension of your arms
charaded through your eyes
and covered with prominent lips
pale red and stark in the morning light

once taken
it can never be restored
only built gradually
over a new territory
where the plague
of your destrcution
cannot be reached
where the burning animosity
that threatens my breath
does not flow as freely
as it does here:
wild and tangled
beneath my chest
as if an iron ****
has branded my heart
marking me a fool
for believing
that the dark days
were long forgoteen

ring the bell
bring them to the streets
the burning fires
are all alight once more

cast down by lightning
shadows in mist
behind twisted trees
and through tall grass
i seek the heart of an immaculate noble
grazed by frequent arrows
but none strike true
for i am not whole
clear target, without a mark
i strowed my essence over the land
but unable to collect them again
i must seek a replacement
before i disappear
offset by your charm am i
for i am faded
in likeness to the desolate acreage
removed slowly by people
here, in the alcove of my chest
lie my forgotten sentiments
that lead as a stepping stone
into this solitary cavern
caught in your unrest
at the sight of my lightless tower were you
so i caged the generated aggression
and burned for your light, an example
now, quell your swollen heart
with remedies of restful eyes
safe, beneath the sheltered forest
as i fade to my foundation

soft seas of white
unbearable to the warmhearted
for crystal chalices are containers
frozen and unfeeling to the bitterness
numbed by this climate
and all wounds that freeze over
are lethal to **** in your heat
and for each spring that passes
i await my demise
but the winter before keeps me intact
i dare not walk in your summer
for surely that would be my end
so if you reach out to me, love
do not be crestfallen when i do not respond
for i poured my nature into your hollow
and was ambushed by your vacancy
i have been collapsed and discharged by your fears
for they mimic my own
and though i have cultivated my courage
you are still held back at the precipice of your qualms
to you i must seem manic
for i believe in love
i follow my heart
though it may lead to dark edges
but you, forlorn by your vigilance
stagger in your struggle to remain conscious
unaware that your wick has been cut loose
and failed to ignite the once blazing sparks of your brilliance
i pity your heat
for it has no place to burn
and soon, it too will wither into ash
and be set upon a pedestal that will restrain you there
in the glaciers that have become your keep

****** out upon the water's edge
frost thick in the air
pieces of hardened snow
clung to the frozen shore
the depths beneath
still quaking with fire
while the surface remains unmarred
cold
you whisper softly to me
careful not to startle
my nervous heart
wary of the water's danger

sometimes when i'm reminded of you
i think of how we were together
and the anger blinds me
i had so much more to say
than the diminished words i spoke
i thought i loved you
but i've realized
that our love was never really love
it was too dangerous and impure
your way with words was so devastating
but somehow you gained my trust
learned my secrets
and used them against me
my intoxication
brought down by your charm
i admit
every time you called it quits
i crashed and burned
but i learned
you were just an empty threat
bent to keep me in line
controlled
distilled to your liking
but i poured my heart into the brew
and it remained strong
you hated that about me
how willful i was
how stubborn
you made sure to stomp it out
like fire
but i kept those embers hot
and when i regained my dignity
i let it burn
through our forest
your controlling stare may have marred me then
but i've moved on without you
free to speak my mind
and not just a selection
free to choose my clothes, my friends, my family
i took back what you stole
and now i stand with them
tall and proud of who i am
strong, independent and stubborn
those things do not make me flawed
they make me someone worthy of **respect

lips of wine
unopened chaos
rests smoothly in your smile
forget not to oppress yourself on me
for i dare not sleep without it
a shattered confidence
weakened by your glory
put beneath the flowers
rotting at your feet
yet i lay here, still
quietly with my sorrow
for one look bathed in light
holds me to the floor
absent from clouded eyes
i see your inner garden
once there blossomed flowers
but now they are choked by thorns
tall grass trampled down
by all that you have traveled
and a once tall tree stands alone
bare and dying too
and the grayness in your somber stare
puts its eye on me

faceless crudities
torn from a broken complexion
see not in me your lover
see not in me a vialed rose
preserved for its beauty
unable to grow from here
for i do not need you
although i feel i do
when darkness slithers beneath each petal
threatening their purity
quell not my heart
quell not my already quiet eyes
for i wish to ****** each white tipped petal
down the cascading river
and see the soft reflections linger
upon the growing current

quiet night of your reflection
i can see you still, outside my window
although that image of you is covered in snow
and the now spring-filled streets lack your presence
as if you melted away with the cold
all that is left for me is hope
i can only wish that the haunting image of you
somehow makes itself reality
and when i go to the streets
heart held in my aching throat
i am met by your arms
instead of the chilled night wind

faint scents of woven hair
and gentle hands beneath the pillow
of spiced, soft lips
that bring the morning
to night soaked eyes
and as the stars disappear from these eyes
another comes to light

disrupted soul
do you seek me?
i warn you of my guidance
for i walk with shaking legs
delighted, am i
that you have met me here
in the land of unfulfillment
for tomorrow we set forth
to discover a quiet land
and on the journey, i am certain
we will find the missing colours
from grey cloaked shoulders
and dimly cast our awakened dreams
on the new horizon

beautiful soul trapped in a distant glass
unable to escape the torment of black smoke
poured into your casing
and with every breath you become a little tainted
your light ripped from the wick
dripping hot wax
pungent with the darkness
its tar filled mouth opens
widely
for a warped smile
darker than the night
this is the one who swallowed the night
as if it were a tease
to its ever growing hunger
fear consumes
and allows it to seep through your skin
caressing your soul
tugging at the strings surrounding you
all you can do to ebb away the pain
is close your eyes
silent
and beg for release
but it gets more painful
the more you resist
but you've seen her
the one who sits beside him
how cold and ruthless she appears
he took from her
purity
feeling
life
you refuse to ease the pain
instead you gouge a knife into your thigh
to awaken a new pain
and darkness
intent on your possession
tightens
you choke
but you continue to concentrate on the pain

with eyes that do not stray
seek my gaze
your tranquil stare is all i need to be fulfilled

the gentle breeze reminds me of your hands
smooth across my skin, though mine still shake
for i fear you have disappeared from my reach

the inherent loneliness creeps back into my body
heart bent around something that doesn't exist for me
although it flusters easily
i use all i have to fill the void
though it does nothing for me
in the desolate hours of the night
when i cannot sleep because i am alone
i dare not open the chest of you
it leaves more tar across my rib cage
sticky and infuriating to remove
burn me once more
there must be something meaningful in this pain

where have you gone
lightless wanderer?
for i no longer see your back
drowned by your fading presence
delved again into black waters
where the weeds stroke you gently
with their swollen hands
gently guiding you into the ***** of the river bed
where once again you can lay to rest
with your piece of me
and i'll continue searching

rose bud lips
placed gently upon lingering breaths
left to bloom in your absence
the beauty captured in your pale eyes
reflected by my own
freckled shoulders
are the dam of my anarchy
bound together to protect the tiny villages
from the wrath of my waves
you quell the raging storm
and turn it to spring with your brilliance

you found me
when i thought i was alone
lost, you brought me home
you discovered me
my passion, my resolve
my feelings, with your stable shoulders
you uncovered
the pain and sadness
and banished them
and replaced them instead with your essence
you molded me
with determination and strength
by the seat on your back
you taught me dedication
you gave me trust
and in those unstable hands
somehow i was able
so i gave you mine
along with my heart and undying love
it still burns for you

thank-you
for everything that you were
for it created everything that i am
i am honoured
that you chose me
to be your partner
maybe it was because we shared
the same hurts
that we were able to blossom
together
you were so beautiful to me
i grew with you
as did you with me
i could not ask for anything
more precious than the time i spent with you
i will love you forever

keep waiting
and i will find you again
i promise

take me back
to december fires
burning in your eyes
before the flames had climbed
their way into my arms
licking at my skin

burns unhealed
scorched by your sorrow

bring not the days of wrath
for they shall fall
upon listless eyes
and cold skin

how long before i burn again?

take me back to your ways
before the wilted shower
of frozen droplets stained my sheets

bring me to the peaceful eternity
that lived beneath your neck
chestnut hair aligned against my shoulders
like an army of blue
prepared to fight for their lady
my handkerchief tucked gracefully at your side

my soldier, my keep
awaken, please

there is blood no more

i became weak for you
but in your eyes i remained strong
you despised my defiance to follow
all the hidden rules of your love

oppress not upon me your breath
the poison of my solitude
drunken eyes between stilled lines
the strain met by visions of twisted stars
and swaying valleys
like the waves crashing over jagged rocks
turning freedom into smooth lines

your elegance provokes me
so clear in the distance
like the wheat fields in the summer breeze
golden and fragrant
nearer to your acreage
accompanied by your freckled ambition
deflated lungs
breathless at the sight of you
wild heart in your vines
struggling to escape their grip
but i remain wrapped in your strength
unharmed and safe
unknowing to the state of my weary heart
i know not why i fight
for you hold no threat
fragile bird
why do you not spread your wings
and escape the cage of me?
for unlike you, i am not a haven
mist fills my forest and covers its lakes
haunting the stability that you possess
the fire of your paper chest
creating ashes for your footprints
that lead to me
drowning in my lake
and with the absence of terror
you quietly step into the waves
and sooth the burns in my elemental arms
the raw connection sustains us
and as i relieve you of my torture
i see again the golden fields at dawn
washed away by my water
soothed across your chest

i cannot put to words
how you begin every sunrise
with your eyes
as if you control the light
and when you turn
those torches on me
i am blind
yet it is where i begin
to see clearly
a path showered with autumn leaves
the tracks still fresh and alluring
and as you shine those eyes
like radiant beams
onto every trap laid before you
i step forward
regardless

images of colour
smear my page of youth
surrounded by frayed edges
of greying, tainted sin

water stained corners
where the fire once extinguished
the growth of rosy petals
upon the brink of bloom
where once was painted sorrow
is covered against with blue
the yellow of the centre
a huge of gentle mauve

a lover's quarrel
awaited tune
unspoken words
left for june
and all undone
a man shall quote
"do not wait for Romeo"

Kindness fails the circle path of
Abandoned footsteps
Saturated with hope and
Set still upon the night, the
Easy ended flight still
Left for morning

i have prepared myself
for the last glimpse
of your face
hands intertwined
as they have always been
i have made ready
the sails of my ship
set to depart
for the last glimmer in your eyes
to slowly fade to ash
my sword is sharp
for my foes stand strong
my guard is gone
and i stand alone once more
i choose to live
in this time of decay
and if i shall see your face once more
surely i will have forgotten
each kiss

i wish the love filled in my heart was enough
to save you from your quick demise
that i could steal back the light from your eyes
for now they hold only a reflection
instead of a deep-set understanding

i wish i could replace you
so you were here and i was not
i failed to protect you
and that is all i ever promised
i am sorry, i wish you knew
i wish i had been there often
more often than i was
my life should not have gone so far from you
know that everyday apart from you breaks my heart
and now everyday that you are gone
i feel you slipping from me

i am left with happy memories and a crippling dream
it takes everything that i have not to go to you
and lay where i saw you last
sometimes the urge is so strong
that i have to barricade myself in my room
surrounded by your belongings
i can never go back to that spot
for i know i could never leave once i found you again

i cannot erase you, that look
so terrified until you became aware of me
thank-you for trusting me
for loving me for who i am
you always saw the truth behind sad eyes
and a happy smile
i wish i could hold you, just once
see your for one moment
run my hand through your mane
i can smell you when i am lonely
although my clothes are clean of you
as if my heart bottled a piece of your essence
to open when i need you most

rest gently
i will never lose sight of you

the absence of darkness in the city
fragile upon the edge of light
empty and eerily awaiting the demise of the sun
lifeless city, ruthless in its takings
your decadence
sad and unheard by passers on the quiet streets
singled by the sounds of your own footsteps
unlost but wandering
for what you seek in a star
is hidden by shrouds of impurity

accept me for who i am
beneath the skin i am so vulnerable
but on the outside i am tough
you'll never break through

pound upon my chest
my heart won't skip a beat
but please
do not rest your lips upon mine
for it will be a kiss of death

**** the venom from my tongue
and stay with me here

every word
stands still to fall
the uninterrupted chaos of your lips
seeking another taste
of the disquieting peace
of unopened tension
for the unknown is certain
and the certain is unknown
where the heat of your destruction
becomes the invisible face
of you and i

Lost and broken
On the trail
Never
Ending
Sorrow
Tomorrow I'll feel
Again the
Relentless ache of your absence

tired eyes
dreamless and awake
sodden with memories
of endless gazes
shared between another
that clouded long ago
but mine shall remain alive
for they will find eyes that speak
and close together
with their own

not flawed
but written with promises that cannot be kept
promises to love forever
waver on a thin line
for it is hard to converge onto one path
is this life solitary?
or are we meant to find someone?
i cannot help but believe in love
it is so addictive
the rush of my heart, exhilarating
each breath in your arms, free
if i found love in someone so wrong
then finding it in the right person should exist
i do not ask for much
truly, it is a rarity  that i request anything but your love
whoever you are
and truth
but surely if you love me
you are truthful

you are beautiful
i know, for i love you
and i would not feel so strongly
if your heart were ugly
for i do not care for your looks
i care for your kindness
your wit and charm

i wish you were a reality
for i dream of you often
although you always remain faceless
but you are holding me and laughing
it sounds like music, this laughter
so carefree as you pull me closer

someday i will find you
and i will laugh too
for i will know that what i have found
is all i was searching for

eastern seas and trembling hands
do not take me yet
for the winds of these sails
have yet to become filled
with the salted tears
of turquoise valor
let this ship wander
the vastness of the open waters
and land alike
for the shores of distant territories
are carried upon the breath of the ocean
as if the ancient voices of seductive sirens
were calling me forth
their enchanting song
an enticing peril
that i dare not follow
my wary crew
i bid adieu
upon a wooden raft
sink not your anchor
for i remain an explorer
of the forgotten ways

absent and diminishing
i cannot tell if i am feelingless
or just feeling less
than my previous state

there is a sweetness on your breath
as if you dined on roses
fragrant as you breathe over me in the quiet night
and with each easy intake of air
you take a piece of me
harvesting in the silence
until all i have is yours