She can be hell on wheels
A devil on your bed
A true lady in streets
Give the gentlest touch you've ever had

That's just one side of her coin
Flip her just right and you'll get this...

She'll become your reaper
Tear your heart right out
Your worse nightmare come true
**** the life right out of you

Be careful how you treat her
She hangs precariously on the edge
One flip of the coin
A gentle touch or the demon in your head

Do you understand this Mr so-n-so?
He works for her and her alone.
Are you really understanding  this?
She's saying goodbye in the decrees quips
Are you sure you truly understand?
She no longer wants you as her man
I just want to make sure you're getting this all
She's done with you
She's through
No more dances at the ball
So let her go, let her fly
Do not attempt to hold her back with simple lies
I will see and so will he
Then we will give you misery
So tell me again Mr man
That this you truly understand
She's gone from you
There will no longer be a her and you

One by one
The petals fall
From the heart of man
Taking with them
The sun and shine
Leaving a desolate land
Their sweet fragrance
Fermenting in arid desert
Where noc is ruler
Green grass obsolete
Dry as cotton
This heart of sand
Rain doesn't quench
This thirst
This ache
It cleans nothing
Leaves only a muddy hand
A soul that cries
With eyes now dry
A hand to which
No one holds
A permanent desert
Where roses die
And grass not grow
This barren
Heart of sand

They are mine!
I refuse to roll over
No, not this time

I have tried to play fair
Agreeing to your condescending ways
Now you have provoked mother bear

You do not deserve them for all time
You leach their positive energy
Their souls you refuse let shine

Refuse to let God into your house
You taunt them of their belief
As a cat to a mouse

I now carry the rage of God
I will split your temple
As when they killed his only son

Hell hath no fury as a woman's scorn
I have God on my side
Threaten me with my natural born

You will rhue the day you set this forth
Try and take them I dare you
You will end up six foot under earth

I just want to lay here
Wrapped in your arms
Skin to skin
Souls laid bare

Don't want to leave
Knowing I must
A feeling of peace
It completely engulfs

Take me once more
Show me how we're wrong
I don't believe it's true
Since my angels now sing your tune

He wants me
he wants me not
He needs me
leaves me to rot
One moment it's on
the next it's not
An open book man
no simple thought
He shows himself fully
a web of shadows he's caught
My heart he holds
i fear will let drop
He wants me
*he wants me not

he speaks of love as only a poet can
one who has had
 his heaRt
ripped out and placed back
in hIs hands,
how i long to
hold him tiGht
to show him that
it will be juSt fine
but no i must not, cannot
i must stay in this so called friend spot
hopefully one day though he will see
that i've been trying to put his heart back, along with mine
where it needs to be

As she sits holding her pillow tight on her most enjoyed settee
She laments to herself
"I want to go home"
But isn't home where she be?
Inside these walls made of wood
Of these windows made of glass
With family hanging upon the walls in neatly framed photographs
"No!" she cries
"This is not my home, not anymore"
She can still hear the echo of laughter throughout the rooms
Smell the perfumes and colognes
They are like ghosts in this house
This house that once was home
"So where is home?" she asks softly to herself
She silently weeps as she knows the answer
Home is where the heart is
*but of her heart,
nothing is left

How we live in this house of cards
Everything here is fragile
Everything here we guard
We line them up
These cards we play
Stack them meticulously
Careful to not make a disarray
A sudden whisper of wind though
Is all it takes  
A sudden goodbye softly laid
This house of cards
f
   a
      l
        l
          s
They all......
fall.........

*down

In the bustle of this day
I find myself not knowing how to say
How to tell a mother her only son is gone
How to tell a lover, you are the one
How to tell the priest, I've committed sin
How to tell it all and it not **** you in the end
How do you do this and keep yourself sane
How do you do this and not cry when it rains
I have yet to find my way
Have yet to find it never, never till today.

How can I tell you
What I'm going through
How my life's been flipped
When your face came into view

How can I tell you
What's wrong with me today
Why I'm acting cold
When it's you who made me this way

How can I tell you
That you're the only one I want
Even though you hurt me
Made me feel empty gaunt

How can I tell you
I forgive you of this
I know we got close too fast
But I sure miss your kiss

How can I tell you
I wish I knew how
I guess I'll just write it
Maybe you'll see this and want the same too

How dare you!
Co-parenting my ***!
I thought we could be amicable
Thought maybe our friendship would last.
How dare you!
If I could,  I'd tear off your member
Shove it down your throat
Set you on fire
sit back and gloat
Do not dare to cross me again
You haven't seen crazy
Oh no, you have yet to see me sin

My face is not that of beauty queens

                the indention in my forehead
                         shows that clearly

My hair is not as shiny as most

                        ***** brown and limp

My neck is not that of starlets

                         I have a double chin
                          when I look down

My chest is not that of a model's

              I could pass for a man right there

My stomach is not a six pack

                              having babies
                      stretched me too much

My bottom is not smooth at all

                      stretch marks all over

My legs are not that of a dancer's

                              chicken legs
                       I've heard them called

My mind is not that of Einstein

                      I'm still learning everyday

My heart is not made of gold

                             there are days
                the blackness comes through

My soul is not white as snow

                       it is tainted with life
                   harsh words thrown to it

I attempt to overcome my faults

                       walk as though I have
                    nothing to be ashamed of

But in the back of my mind
There sits the forever
                          Not good enoughs...

Hush sweet poet, don't say a word
Even though it's all as you heard
If it pains you enough to write
Get it out now so you'll sleep tonight

Hush sweet poet, don't you cry
Tomorrow again your heart can fly
If it can't, don't worry so
It will happen again, this I know

Hush sweet poet, in your heart you'll keep
All those secrets buried deep
Keep in mind they'll drive you insane
Best to get them out today....

I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
           I thought I could do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
           I thought I could be strong enough
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget you
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this 
          I thought I could forget your voice
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget your touch
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I thought I could forget our love
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
          I was wrong
I can do this
I can do this
*I can't do it any more.....

Love is like the rose
Beautiful, lush, fragrant
Yet forestalls it
Of being plucked
From the thorns
Of our own creation

If I  were to not talk to you again,
Would you notice?

If I were to just dissappear,
Would you look for me?

If I were to die tonight,
Would you mourn me?

if I were*.....
         would you?

Into uncharted waters
Heart first
Mind racing after

Unknowing how it will feel
Reaching my destination
Shivers race across my body
Anticipation of the experience

will it be cold as ice
warm as the summer breeze
will I land upon rocks
or soft satin sheets

So I jumped

Into the abyss
Free falling
Trepidation close on my heels
Praying for an angel
pure or iniquity
                             "catch me"

Place me safely upon the ground

I'm tired
Worn out
I don't know how much
I have in me to fight

These ten hours days
Sleepless nights
Taking a toll on me
More grey hairs in sight

I'm doing this
Five days a week
No break
Been doing this three weeks straight

Two of the three when I come home
Homework, dinner
Bath and bed
Clothes aren't fitting, getting thinner

I'm just so tired
I need a break
These ten hour days at work
Five days a week
Three weeks and counting straight

The way he looks at me
The way his voice resonates in my body
The way his skin feels upon mine
The way he can have deep conversations
The way he wants to keep learning
The way he makes me feel at ease
The way he let's me open myself fully
The way he makes the butterflies soar
The way **I love the idea of him

I need more than just a text
I miss it so
It has been weeks
The feeling of skin

I miss the reverberation of the voice
How it sends shudders
Throughout my body
Making even my bones pliable

I miss the eyes on me
Penetrating into my soul
Seeing what I try to hide
Not caring, searches for more

I miss the taste of mouth
The way it's salty and sweet
How it quenches my thirst
My being hydrated to bloom

I miss the scent
The one that is truly unique
How it lingers upon me
More than skin deep

So yes, I am a ******
Withdrawls I'm going through
My body yearns for it
I need more than just text

Oh my creature!
My beautiful, evil creature!
You come to me at night and not let go until mornings rays
Your claws feel painfully pleasurable upon my mind
You help me to feel all that I shut out during the day
You help me to write what I cannot say
Oh my beautiful evil creature!
Please leave!
I need the peace of the night.

When I peed on the stick
Nervous butterflies wracking my insides
We tried for two years
But this time felt different

I remeber when I again checked the stick
This time trying for only 4 months
Could it be possible
2 years for the first, 4 months for the second

I remember the first kicks
Both little tumblers inside me
My bladder was the trampoline

I remember the first pains
Were these the real deal
More false alarms
Not this time, they're not stopping

I remember the first cries
Not little mews
Big belted full of life
I cried too

I remember when I held you both
The first time was like a slice of heaven
Little bundles searching for food
Then opened eyes and recognition set in

I am your mommy
Welcome to this harsh world
I will protect you
Shield you as best I can

I vow to let you live
Learn from your mistakes
Be there when you fall
Be there when you rise

I am your mommy
I will never leave
I love you
So much love I never knew I could have

Clickety-clack
Clickety-clack
Here on the railroad track

Shadows dance around me
Unknown if they are real
Cool fingers touch me
Up my spine sending chills

But I hear nothing except the
Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack
As I walk down
The railroad track

Under a ladder
I have walked
A black cat in front of me did dart
the mirror I was holding
Fell and shattered
Now perches an owl in my path
Beak opening to speak
All I hear is *Clickety-clack

Clickety-clack
Clickety-clack
As I stand now
Upon the railroad track

Bright light in my view
I know what it's of
Horn blares into the night
It's sound envelopes me like a glove

But I am deaf to it
For all I hear is
Clickety-clack
Clickety-clack
As I lay down
On the railroad track

Silence is best
Laying here to rest
The last sound I hear
Clickety-clack, Clickety-clack
                    *my heart, give it back...

You win universe
You did it
You finally destroyed her
Made her cry tears of blood
Let her lie upon the cold floor
Alone, abandoned
Let her realize her worthlessness
As her life seeped into the wood
You finally let her
not good enough's
not strong enough's
not worthy enough's
Not Smart enough's
NOT PRETTY ENOUGH'S
Rise to the surface
Drowning her into submission
Letting her succumb to the darkness
The darkness that was buried deep within
You let it rise
You let it engorge her
You let it pull her into the undertow
Knowing she wouldn't be able to swim
Not this time
her last air bubbles of light
Drifted upon the raging storm
The storm you brought her
The one you stirred so violently
the whirlpool it created
A masterpiece
One for the books
She is now gone
Forever into the darkness
*she will never see light again

Tonight's the night!
I'm gonna "party like it's 1999"
Take my cup and fill it up with "brass monkey"
tequila really
Try to hang with these party animals
See what shenanigans I can create
Then when my libido is at its high
Gonna call you up
Come give me a ride
Even though you said
you no drinky, you no fun
Guess what, it don't matter
I'll make us both undone
That's my plan anyways....

but instead I see it going like this...

Party it up like I said before
Call you up
Have you take me to your door
I'll be drunk so the filter will be gone
I'll ask of you to sing me a song
Then I'll become brave
Liquid courage out of its cage
You may not remember but I sure do
Words you said to me as if on cue
Did I really hear right
Did you call yourself my boyfriend that night
Does that mean you think we're exclusive
If so why do you always act elusive
Tell it to me straight
For I have met you at hell's gate
And if you say that lying you were
Then this is nothing more than a blur
I will sleep this night by you one last time
In the morn I will leave this supposed paradigm...

it was supposed to be

A solitude investment
Never expected return
A single hand
No ace to burn

it was supposed to be

Glances from afar
Touches of sin
A yearning that burned
One that wouldn't end

it was supposed to be

A secret locked tight
Lips sealed shut
Except for the burning kiss
Clearly clean cut

it was supposed to be

But what was supposed to be
Took a turn in the tide
Together we have jumped
with our eyes shut wide