Go away
Please go away
This anger, this hurt, this pain
I cannot take it
No! I cannot take it another day
Just go away!
Leave me be!
Let me see
True colors
Not black and grey
I want to shine
Be sweet like wine
I want to laugh
No more looking at my past
Go away! Just go away!
No more breakdowns
i cannot break
I am strong
A woman am I, never wronged
Why was I right?
Why must I have seen the vision placed before me?
Why dear God did you put that for me to see?
An urn, a prayer
The waft of her hair
Why dear God did you do that to me!?
Why?
A picture I did not want to see
Yet, you did, made me believe
i was right all along
I knew it was the reapers song
Tonight I drink
For her and him
For me and them
Tonight I drink
For it to go away  
*just....go....away........

There's electricity in the air tonight
Or is it just in me
The stars seem to shine brighter
Or maybe my eyes are opened wider
There is anticipation in the coyotes yelps
No, it's my own voice calling out
The vibrations throughout my body
They are seeping into the world
I fear I will not sleep tonight
I wait anxiously for tomorrow
My heart beats out the minutes
My mind races of what's to come
I fear the silence of the drive
The what if's invade my mind
Can I do this again
What if I lose my stand
What if my voice takes a hiatus
Being seen loses my status
What if everything changes
All lost in exchanges
I guess I will ride the waves
Deal and not run to the caves
Hold my head up high
Try my best to not be shy
Let fate take the wheel
Let go insecurities I feel...

They are gone again
So is he
Unknown where he is
They in bed, other house, asleep

My normal rock
My shelter
Against the demons that rage
He has left
Not even a goodbye bade

My house is quiet
The shadow comes to play
Darkens my skies
My demons run amok
No one to help them slay

I'm leaving tomorrow
Just for the night
Not where I want to be
It isn't with him
It won't feel right

But if he wants to play
Then play I will
Since my demons are free
This almost love
Will just stand still

He ruined her by not professing his love. Though his actions seemed to speak volumes, it was words she  needed to hear.
So she  heartbrokenly  walked away having never trusted a love since, just resigned herself to only words.
Wanting and needing that love again.

I got a new phone yesterday
All bright, shiny, and new
Transfered all important documents
All contacts too
Then I opened her up
Ready to write
My words were gone
Out of site
I went to text you
Ask your advice
Your contact still there
I sent a message hoping I'd find
Inspiration from your mind
I guess I did
Not how I would have liked
Though your number is here
Like my words,  you're gone
Out of site....

Be still my heart.
You are not allowed to go there
Be still my heart
For yours will not be fare
Be still my heart
It's all a lie
Be still my heart
I see it in your eyes
Fore tomorrow I cannot die
Be still my heart
It cannot be a lie
I will say again
Be still my heart
For it may this time be him

The pain never goes away
How can it when you were one so dear
It has been decades, still I think of you daily, still wish you near
I still hear your voice, even though it's sound is diminished in its tenor
I still feel your hands upon mine
soft as ever

You came to me three nights after you left
In a dream it was, I'll never forget
There was I sitting in a chair,
people surrounding me, but none knew I was there
I stood to speak to those with whom were in the room
None could see me, none heard my words
Then you appeared, healthy and full of life
You spoke to me as though in life
You told me to not fear and that all would be well
You were happy now, no longer ill.
You told me then to wake and no longer be sad
You said one day we'd see each other
One day again

You haven't come to me since that dream
I wonder why it is
I miss you so much brother dear
I have so much to tell
I love you still and my heart still hurts
Though the scars hide it well

How do you help your best
When you are thousands of miles apart
How do stop her king
From breaking and stomping their heart

When the ice of fear
runs through their veins
When they look at their king
Horror is what reigns

How can you say, it will be alright
When you don't know
if this queen can put up the fight

You've always known her to be strong
Not one to be pushed around
Now here she is weeping
Her cries into you are seeping

How can you help your best
When miles apart you are
When you know that may be the last time
Next time the king may go too far...

No one will see me break
                        i break behind closed doors
No one will see my tears
                          i keep those locked away
No one will see my anxiety
                           i hide it well with a smile
No one will hear my words
                            i lace them so carefully
No one will ever know
             *but you have broken my defenses
                               and delved upon my soul

The harshness of the day gives way to the whispers of the night.
My senses become heightened.
My skin that was dulled by the acosting day is now sensitive to the caressing breeze of the night.  
My eyes look longingly to the crying moon. The night is my lover and I revel in its sweet caress.

Let loose among the night
The words longing to hear
Achingly empty
feeds the despair

A silent prayer
Shouts above the din
from it night birds and insects
Scatter to the wind

Discarded into the stars
A secret wish
Set upon constellations
unreaching, begins to mar

Searching the answer seeks
Carried by wind
To one left wanting
*who's cries are shrieks

My bags are packed
I'm ready to go
Don't know where it's at
Just hope it feels like home

A brand new start
A fresh new place
I'll change my name
But I'll keep my face

I'm leaving here
No looking back
I have nothing more to say
We can't change the facts
You walked away and took my heart
I can't stay any longer
You left me to fall apart    

This isn't home
But it'll have to do
It's a different town
Nothing here to remind me of you

I'm leaving here
No looking back
I have nothing more to say
We can't change the facts
You walked away and took my heart
I can't stay any longer
You left me to fall apart    

I'm gonna start again
I have to face the day
In a different town now
Still no peace, but I think I'll stay

I'm leaving here
No looking back
I have nothing more to say
We can't change the facts
You walked away and took my heart
I can't stay any longer
You left me to fall apart
You left me
You left me to fall apart  

My bags are packed
I'm ready to go
Don't know where it's at
Just hope it feels like home

You left me to fall apart

she fades away
Becoming quiet
Unsure where she belongs
Feeling whole with you
Then feeling alone

And then

she folds into herself
Thoughts of days past
Close up her mind
A cocoon of stealth

And then

she blossoms
Despite winter's chill
Your presence a breath of spring
She emerges vibrant
Whispers...*with you I feel..

My friend
My lover
My muse
It is you of whom I wish on me to abuse
Wrap you hands tightly around my neck
as you have already done to my heart
Grab my hair forcefully and expose my neck
you have already done so with my soul
But in return I ask of this
Let me bleed you dry
as my nails rake down your back
I want to swim in the vastness of your eyes
Take a trip inside your soul as we sweat
Let me nibble upon your heart
I want to make it quake as you do mine whenever you are near
My friend
My lover
My muse
Let us the galaxies explore
Let us do so hand in hand

I just want to sleep and drink
Drink and sleep
To forget how things were
Or is it are?
Were or are?
Been or now?
Had or have?  Was or is?!?Here or there?!?
I'm just gonna drink...
See what answers lie at the bottom of this bottle
Then I'm going to sleep, and try not to think of when, are, is, How, WEre, NOW, HERE, THERE.....
MIND SHUT UP!
Still too loud
*I need more to drink

Lay with me in this lovers embrace
Let my cold hands caress your face      
My coolness brush upon your lips
Your light will not shine in my eclipse
Feel the fire within this ice  
Take my hand and succumb the heist
Lay with me at your end of days
Let your last breath be the one I take...  
For I am  the reaper of souls  
Tonight it is yours I chose...

Yelling
Screaming
He throws his hands up
She pulls at her hair
A glass goes across the room
Upon the wall you hear it crash
Down the hall
Photographs fall to the floor
Face to face
Nose to nose
Both ready to throw blows
Screaming! Torturous names being yelled
Tug of war of the kids
Not hearing their silent pleas
Mommy, daddy stop. Just stop please..
Still the yelling commences
All over her deciding to leave....
She takes the children, both happy to no longer be in the tug of war  
He hangs his head in shame
Knowing that he is to blame  
She sits in her car and cries
Watching 10 years go down the drain

Time does not stop
Forever the clock
               Tics......
                            To­cks.......
But for a moment
Time stood still
The cadence
Of the clock ceased the
                  Tic.......
                              ­Tock.....
Then morning came all too soon
Time sped up
The clock raced in its
                   Tic......
                              To­ck......
Time never truly stopped

It happens to us all
The time when our words seem to lose their thrall    
No longer does our pen
seem to want to write anything eloquent
So we grasp about
Flail and flounder
Searching for
       anything....
              everything....
                      nothing.....
Just to make words on a paper.....

Erotica will never seem so sinful
True love will never be so heartbreakingly beautiful
When two have lain like we have....
We divulged secrets prior to,
All but said it is only you.
Then with a mighty flex of your hand, you took me to new heights
Upon my mind you did expand.
Together we've lain but not like this.
I shall not soon forget.

I hereby sentence you to death!
Your crime is one of serious offense
You played your part oh so well
Offered shelter, promised heaven not hell
Did not stand to promise as said
Broke her down, nearly taking her head

Punishment will be as thus
Not a word! I command you to hush!
For crimes against the heart so frail
Instead love shown, you allowed love bail
Death to come as I now order!
You sir, shall be drawn and quartered

Eyelash wishes
Washed down the drain
Tears flow away
Along with her dreams
Porcelain white
Becomes crimson now
Confessions set behind
Blue lips
Forever an unspoken vow

Dogs are barking
Though none to be found
You're stuck in your cubicle
Devoid of all sound

The radio plays
But a voice yells in your ear
It's not part of the song
The one you know so dear

Sitting on the sofa
Just reading a book
Your names been called
You turn frantically to look

Alone everytime
You just know you're losing your mind
Perhaps you are correct
These voices say inside your head...

Hush sweet poet, don't say a word
Even though it's all as you heard
If it pains you enough to write
Get it out now so you'll sleep tonight

Hush sweet poet, don't you cry
Tomorrow again your heart can fly
If it can't, don't worry so
It will happen again, this I know

Hush sweet poet, in your heart you'll keep
All those secrets buried deep
Keep in mind they'll drive you insane
Best to get them out today....

There is a certain scent that comes after a spring storm
Completely different from the fall and winter. They have a hidden scent of fresh olives and decay with a touch of crispness in the air.

But the spring and summer storms. Their scent. Tantalizing, electric, chaos. I can smell the verbs after the storm. They play with my olfactory senses so well. Teasing, taunting. Open your mind, they say. Let us play with your demons they start coaxing. We shall set your pheromones loose. Help you to lose your control. Let go of the past. Open your heart to what is sitting in front of you. The verbs are calling. I am losing my control.
*I shall open myself to the chaos.