As I sit here on this cold winter's morn
I ponder my life and what is now in store
Here on the day of reckoning before
The sun has yet to crest over the eastern sky
The moon still clings fighting to give one last childlike lullaby
Am I like the moon, fighting to stay
Not yet wanting to be chased away by the brazened sun.
The moon soft, comforting, familiar, like my past
The sun, harsh, brazen, unknown, sharp, new as my future can be
Shall I stay with my moon and continue with my soft light
or shall I rise in the eastern sky like the sun and shine with a boldness of things to come.
A scary new adventure.
A choice I must make, for the sky is changing from grey to pink.
It is time, the past I cut my strings.
No longer a woman-child, matriarch let me be.
My past, I let it go to float upon this winter's breeze.
Come upon me now sun, it is you and I, a new life for us to write....
My mother is to have another heart procedure tomorrow morning. If it fails, then she is done. She wants nothing more done for her. She refuses to have another open heart surgery (this one is not that). As a nurse, I know what this means. She will not be long for this world. I will have to step up and take over her role as "matriarch" of the family. I am the youngest in my family. I have been at war with myself over this for a while now. I've known this was coming, I am finally ready. I have cut ties with my childlike attitude to only visit now in my dreams. My waking times, I will be the woman my mother has groomed me to be. I love you momma.
#matriarch #strings #cut #past #future