emotionally unavailable or ******* people
myself mutilating chosen vice

(that desperate to feel
needed, wanted and appreciated
i teach pigs to fly
unattainable and insane
but driven by a need i can't control but understand
the war for control over my unfulfilled needs
the worst kind of abuse, chronic insecurity)

usually comes to an explosive end
me, demanding revolution
them, startled

people pretend to care far more than what they really do
we play these mental and emotional games with each other
endangering the self while living an emence high
how ironic
when we crash and burn
we wallow in self pity and expect our victims to run and help
how twisted the human mind can be
400 years of evolution living at the top of the food chain

today, getting naked and bumping like rabbits is easy
revealing a soul, a heart and connecting is hard
we dare each other with self destruction
a game we all play willingly to gather pain, scares and tears
each persons own Pandora box
made from past memories
Lined with regret
filled with unspoken hurt
soaked in tears
muffled by gin
raised illusion to the tip of clouds
coming of the high crashing into other earth
broken bones absorb blood and guts

tomorrow, repeat

i can Imagen the endless potential of my world
free of knowing "my place"
no boring old broken time machines
just open white space
hungry for fresh ideas and experiments
this is my dream, my desire, my hope
me rid of this stupid wrong labelled box
just me, Karin, just Karin

i don't like this world i was born into
it praised cowards and anoint liars
crucify truth speakers and freedom fighters
real leaders are played down and ridiculed
they promote brainless followers, zombies
all for love of money and power
" see i can squash you"
just try and breath without permission

my box is labeled ******, gull-able  joke, incapable, stupid, unteachable, bad writer and much much more

i want to be free of this box
it's killing me slowly, ******* my bones dry
i peek out
  - blue swollen eyes
  - broken bones
  - crushed soul

someday. . . .

upon marriage your blood signs a covenant
with a firm i do
before god and the community
upon my 1st breath a covenant was signed
you want praise for a physical abuse free home
how dare you
marriage described as playing with the mouse
your plaything taken by god
he gave you, he took away
you didn't keep your covenant
you broke and destroyed a young woman
she died in a gilded Gage
no-one knows the truth, you think
i was there
i saw, i remember, small but present
emotional abuse rang the bell
i begged for divorce from you
many a time
you married "your" mother,
she married" her" father,
one contract different expectations
a broken covenant
children are a gift from god,
my sisters both died, i lived
i was/am nothing in your eyes
the covenant

before the world i stand as woman, African queen
exotic beauty, strong, tough and resourceful
there in lies the damest of all that bind me to a cruel fate
"Africa, the birth place of mankind"
her daughters, slaughtered,mutilated and, raised to feel inferior
relaxers, skin lighting cream, weaves, wigs, diets
raised by western thinkers, propaganda splashed on the soap box
forced to work for the rich and powerful plastic people
forced watered down music

i dream of a world lead by African queen's
confident in there velvet cream skin
loving afro hair
swagging there bustyness with pride
no more selling our bodies for west
taking pride in being different

found you hiding in the bathroom stall
devastated tears just running
i pity you, will never show it
your insanity to much to stomach
grovelling for grown boys attention
they broke their toys as children
now they brake fleshy hearts served with drama directed by cowardly ego
you eagerly walked the line
very well knowing fairytales do not exist
fairytales do not exist
the prince more dangerous than the dragon
the dragon protects against the world
in return you turn on the scaly animal who love you so
who love you so, it pledged forever by your side
protecting, loving and caring for you
but you wanted smooth skin wrapped in wit and charm

i live in waiting for our moments
to bask in your presence
you radiate love, pure love
it warms my aches and pain
healing blood flows to unhealed wounds
you press me so hard all my broken pieces reconnect
an old battle axe
scared wounded half dead, only existing
day to day
hardly breathing, but to stubborn to yield
wandering in the shadows
needing a home
afraid
you found me
i resisted
you proved love

i am home

i had the maturity to stand behind my words
no apologies, no excuses, no doubt
you chose your actions and words
my reprimand by another
you could not face me
apparently not your style
you wrote it ! your words and actions
they shiver with cold
guilt got you ring-fencing, a meeting
my public disgrace and punishment
all laid bare
was my secret, to protect me self esteem
a quick death, swift and silent
you took my power
you felt proud, i showed her, she knows her place
you lonely old man
surrounded by bought smiles
retirement a true test
i pity you
don't be a coward now
be the maturity you claim to present
stand behind your harsh words
razor sharp
that rip to the core
pointless butchering
cold death stare is born
you claim righteousness
be proud, stand behind, no ! claim your words and actions

my 3rd vice
my catalyst for food restriction
desperate to sooth my shattered self image
daily bombarded by airbrushed perfect female beauty
braking my image of beauty and showing my cellulite
followed by overloading information about fixing me
regular exercise, beauty routines and Cal restricted diets
insecurity the new female epidemic
we fight for women's rights
and threw the baby out with the bath water
a basic human need
unmet and exploited
our legacy
the English standard
geneticly out of reach for women of color

freedom in art
freedom in heart
freedom in expression
freedom of soul
deep understanding of expression
nourishing the mind
ever challenging
forward, keep moving, forward
freedom lived
freedom experienced
no words needed
the body moves, demand visible power
painful endurance for tender moment
graceful beyond delicate
captured in time, echoes for ever
what time, what space, its an illusion
eyes surrounded by deep dimples
flowing hair, expressing mouth
ooh how elegant the wine has become, well aged
the body demand respect in movement
the heart resilient
the mind always moving, wanderer
oh how beautiful the art of freedom

once upon a time there was a king who married the most beautiful woman in the kingdom, but over time her beauty faded and he could not understand why. one day while pondering this problem he saw the gardeners wife. when the gardener took her as his wife she was grey and unnoticeable now she was a beauty in her own right. he called the gardener and asked him what is his secret. the gardener replied tongue your majesty.

the king commanded that his wife eat tongue daily, but nothing changed. the king not one to loose took the gardeners wife and gave the queen to the gardener.

the gardener spoke daily to the dethroned queen an slowly over time her beauty returned and the new queens beauty faded over time. this anguished the king even more, he truly did not understand he moral of the story and once again asked the gardener.

the king still don't get it, do you?

everyday i am among people
talking, sharing, helping,laughing, chatting
i wonder how many have ever seen behind my perfect mask
an seen
seen the scared woman
who never looks in a mirror from believe how ugly she is
not wanting a constant reminder of how imperfect god made me
not wanting to relive the disappointment that i don't look like the "beautiful" women
people will often tell me i have a good heart
no one notices the scares on my shoulder from a heavy load
deep lashes on each shoulder running down my back
fresh and old wounds mixed together

i am tired of the same struggle
now i understand why honor for father and mother is obligated
god knew why it should be a commandment
the soul is resilliant bur respect, trust and love is not
takes long to create, easy to brake

the warmth of the sun
the light of the moon
this you are to me
your presence give me hope
your laugh bring me joy
your smile reassures me
love unending
unknown to me
until now
i love you
bibo, my bibo
always be my bibo

to page a book
pages covered with words in black
my inner  most translated into words
touching the paper formed by a pen point
awakens my soul
a fire always lit stokes by seeing how far
how far i have come to this
words are my life
my existence, cannot be without
drinking warm milk to sleep
with my teddy like a youth relived
alas this how i need to cope with tomorrow
my inner most private thoughts on paper
just for me to read
daily practise to become greatness
determined by my journey
the only hope i have left is my words

peoples mouth's open and close
i see there lips moving and expressions on the face
I don't hear anything?
blah blah blah never real words
no, i am not deaf
sounds fill space but nothing worthwhile connects
wireless communication. instant messaging. one button dial
things are loved people are purposely overlooked and used
money wasted on motivational speaking
hours convincing the self: "i am right they need a lesson"
make believe bandages running with harness

love exchanged for Pandoras box
if I only knew then what I knew now, would have chosen....
wishes are well intended feathers on the wind
God catches them at the end of the world
he reads them with water filled eyes
original sin we all followed loud and proud
foolish Independence
we all assume to want the same, mostly love, how come?
we give up in a whimper, lack of endurance?
how colder the storm greater the harvest - grandpa

a soul desperate for salvation and peace
yet, motivated to strive
follow the curve in the walls,
feel it, listen ,it speaks
breath breath breath
you will touch light eventually or die trying

Lack of courage
To tell the truth
It will sting
Clever play on words
Edgy jokes
But real eyes
Realise the truth
Although hidden
Age means time spend
Nothing changes over time
Except time
Age brings wisdom from heartache
You claim love
I sense the unsertainty in you
You lack courage
I already know

thank god, above all
me, born in age of female equality evolution
in any other age
me, a slave
confined by financial, educational and social inequality
fueled by power deluded women-peons
leaving mountains and dungeons in passing
tears of blood
shed by disillusioned soul
instinctively knowing,
i can create my own destiny
life time spend achieving
smoothing the road for future daughters
BUT
satans has intervened once more
present daughters do not value
their priceless inheritance
many squander it, willingly
but few remain
with noble footing
instinctively calling out, to higher power
uneducated, still knowing
god exist, he is watching
and my inner strength comes from my creator
who created for a purpose
hail the king of kings

i wandered for a long time
among thorns, disease and death
no glimmer to see
feel the walls, feel the cave,it leads you out
i found many Christian doors
locked with big heavy chains
you preach "come Ye weary"
to locked door?!
Christian followers preach beautiful
words divinely chosen for impact
no temperature ever checked
walk among bibles, oil and cloths
dance in praise
blow the battle horn
But But But
who sees those wandering in the dark standing before closed doors for help

closed doors mean" banishment to the Barron out field
red sin covered land
mercy irrelevant
demanding cruel deity
pleased with nothing
pushes self destruction
cries are stamp on
more pain more glory
damage soul the goal
your pleadings are laughed and spit upon
the glorious hellish Barron outfield

do you allow this dear reader?
do you have closed doors?
i lived in the outfields now i'm home thank God
my Guardian through prayer opened a door for me
now i know, now i know
follow the true Christ

how poor has the world become
when
to feel, you have to bash someone
no matter how odd they are

lead my mind to great people
albert einstein my favourite dyslexic
how outrages was da vinci's ideas in his days
the list goes on, but the world is still the same
no matter the century
all the technology and research has not changed the human nature
to destroy what does not resemble "me"
we like people because they reflect something of us
we never really bother to look deeper at the unique person behind the image

this is why i am condemned to loneliness till death
years of isolation amidst people left my mirror slightly de-angled
thus i cannot reflect what people want to see

broken heart mended from outside
hiding terrified inhabitants
staring, watching from one way windows
afraid to venture beyond the door
a heart remake into illusions from impractical pinterest
to hide the truth of pain
pulling people closer, desire love and friendship
push way for fear of destruction when leased expected
overspend budget on security
life inproper but needed for survival

Loose  myself in living life
Drowning like a sponge
Absorbing the second for second  play not letting fear or obsession take control of the remote

Courage does not answer every call with a roar
But with sincere heart
That knows pain and disappointment
That says tomorrow we will try again
Don’t worry i am here to help
I will hold your hand

my ******* affair
a blood covenant
continues negative on the balance sheets
a constant power struggle
my soul and unwavering obedience the prize
secretly a grudge grows
(encouraged by continual love famine
inclined by love withdrawal punishment)
poisoning the source

uncomprehensible to me
why i am always found unworthy
fathers love, blessing and protection
unattainable
withdrawal, nonacceptance and deliberate bad wishes
fertilizes the acre
what will the harvest be
tug of war for my sanity
my Heavenly Father and mum
vs
the enemy and dad
forge in this firepit
born among ashes

Dear C, you are a good friend of mine
but you will never know how much i despise your skin
your soul is pure and love flows
your skin resembles all i hate about my country
you will never understand the yellow monster
his eyes tell it all
you are not human, no soul
just a peasant born to serve
how dare you breath what about speak
unthinkable that you can think
once you have seen the monster
innocence lost forever
no turning back
an anger that build in the chest
energy build in the muscles for action
action fueled by the pounding anger
action against my oppressors

God safe me from this anger, only you can.

thee oppressed hold on tight as death
to God, now i know why

now i understand mum and dads anger
yes i also joined that group now
question each nice gesture from a goose
'the only good goose is a dead goose'
now i understand

the day i was created you signed a covenant before god, to be my father and was accepted as such in the eyes of the community and mine. you knew in your heart you had no intention of fulfilling this covenant. you committed the second most blatant lie of my life. without shame or remorse life in your eyes continued without a blip. you forget unlike any other contract a covenant cannot be void. your responsibility stretch from acceptance to death and beyond.
i am an answer to a prayer, a gift from god and above all i am a child of god. no less and no more.
i wonder when asked what did you do with your gift? what did you do with the kings daughter what will your answer be? will you find justification for your actions?
do not ask me on your deathbed for forgiveness, its a sham. ask me now while your healthy so i can measure the truth in your words
you transgress with ease, Sunday there will be communion. its all fake

dear god
today is one of those days
your the only one that understands
the days are being counted down to mother's day
i miss my mum so terribly
i see people around me connecting
sharing hugs and love, they have homes
all i have is a house and determination
i lost my appetite again
i commit suicide in silence everyday
1 teaspoon of sugar at a time
some times i wane live long
days like today i wish the sugar would work faster
as connected as we are in modern life are we unconnected
today i miss my mum so very much

if i could i will give all my days
i don't want the comfortable life she gave me
just her in all her wrinkles and moans
just my mum, no other will do

you move restless impulsive, loud but empty
on the prowl, easy naive prey
you are a true merchant of death
surrounded by bought smiles
one day you call in the debt mercilessly
karma will call your debt in to, maybe already
my eyes won't have the pleasure to see
God knows best

your face, once a clean canvas
reveals the truth, death merchant
life was easy
conveniently forgetting there is a god ,watching

each brush stroke reveals more truth
choice in color, an educated eye interprets
cracks revealed- you old cracked painting
discarded - life is cruelest when you are old
a new painting painted over a discarded death merchant

an era forgotten
wiped clean - the end

In an unmarked grave
At the back of the graveyard
Where the sunlight never reach
I wish to bury my emotions
Neatly folded in a casket
Nailed down
These have brought me nothing worthy
Nothing but shame and tears
Never to be trusted or seen again
The frost in winter
The dense leave canopy in summer
Never again to be warmed to life
Death to emotions
Forever
No loss
Nothing to miss

a storm raging in my chest cavity
refusing to yield
relentlessly battering my convictions
my one great weakness
immoral conduct of a "community leader"
my self-destructive vice
my Christian duty compel me to fight my vice
my conscience keeping score
my one enemy i cannot destroy
deliverance!

Many hours spend romanticized my perfect filled life. Husband, children and successful business. Me stand for honor and love, loyal to the family
Dear oh dear what has become of my splendid day dreams. Covered in dust rarely read anymore

maturity admired exaggerated by far
assumed mutual care
me, stepped on Satans tail
ignoring elder warnings
believing Satans whispers
building, dreaming forging forever happiness on a whisper, sweat whisper
i enjoyed the dripping yellow whisper
smooth clear honey, flowed
my deity please remember me think me
i Begg for my soul, please mercy
please release my soul
ties that bind, please destroy
by faith alone, a righteous prayer
my redeemer lives
standing on faiths shoulder, my enemies crumble and fall
father please forgive an ignorant youth no more
old spit out toy, emotionless
the road is hard, please carry me
by faith alone, by faith alone

am i admired as i admire others beauty?
i admire the strength i view in the eyes, revealing the souls journey
a journey that can be seconds and cover uncountable miles
the soul is quite about its struggles but the eyes cannot lie, cannot hide
honesty in its purest form
i wonder if the owner knows what there eyes reveal to me
how is life better or worst to have such memorable eyes
but deep down i know
pain is needed to create captivating eyes as equal as black and white keys are needed for music
pain gives dept and heals life from shallowness
pain crushes you to your knees, begging for mercy
but rather mercy in life instead of in death

i know pain
i know the black keys more than the white keys in my music piece
but i do not know if my eyes can measure up to beautiful eyes
i know the colour, i know it shifts
but i do not know its beauty
i can only hope to captivate one-day

loving you has always been an endless struggle
but you are all i have
circumstance forces me to acknowledge this
your death will leave me orphaned
my children will never know their gran parents
your house will never vibrate with children's laughter
the hand we are dealt , struggle
everything comes to an end
courage needed to continue on a new path
unknown below my feet
cautious
we fight hard
we battle fierce
we never bonded
no house to be found
but i love you
you the start of my bloodline
you failed me
time heals but trust broken cannot be restored
but dare i say
love covers all
my inner turmoil over come by fear of being alone
fresh the memory of heartache so complete it nearly killed me
completely alone on my path
to me i was dead just breathing

once i n anger and hatred
i prayed for your last breath to make haste
i longed to be free of you
considered the blood curse on my life
endless source of suffering in silence
now i fear the moment your last breath come
i pray it evades you
for when it depart

orphaned i will be

a true African queen
bore and raised me
with mighty prayers and tears
worked her fingers to the bone
desperate to keep my needs satisfied and more
always fidgeting over me
me ignorant and selfish
misused a mothers love and affection
i sowed with her tears
bitter sad lonely water filled eyes
now i reap with grey clouds
honor they mother the commandments say
me laughed and mocked it
my days are no longer laughing
tears wet my cheeks, mamma
please, i beg you
please forgive my selfish ways
a godly mother always praying
thank god

Once I as young and very impressionable
Ii became part of the hip and happening movement
Loving revered to as youth
What a sham, no-one has the resolve to speak the truth
Being youthful and energetic is tough
Too much responsibility rest on my meagre shoulders
Eyes and mind demand change by my soft un-scaved hands
Half the time I don’t know what I am doing how are my soft hands to bring change
Feelings of betrayal and anger from unrighteous treatment
Grow in my veins toward the elders
They followed their own corrupt greedy souls
They dare to blame my dramatic future on their ambition
No one asked what I wanted they just shipped me off to school
As an adult i inherited a land ripe for a new sun
To be achieved with ******* young people
Who soak their sins in strong alcohol and smoke their ideas away
It’s easier to muffle the pain and internalise the screams
South Africa is democratic but no freedom is lived
Yes no one can disappear without a trace
Yes you can no longer just be beaten without recourse
But the soul is tied down with inhumane heavy chains
No moral fibre left to hold on to
No moral light to follow
The head of state is leading example for all
I end with words of wisdom
Evil triumphs when good men do nothing

these imperfect perfect sinners
lift and carry me
unknowingly
they rescue me
all they do is exist
laugh with me
make jokes with me
share there lives with me
the joy and the little pain
me, yet to stop being ashamed of my pain
cowboys dont cry
raised tough
to cry is weakness
to brake or fail is unacceptable
these unresolved moments
back braking weight i have to carry
a lie told so often it became truth
time to destroy all truths born from lies
the endless struggle
generation to generation
all one goal
truth, reality, to be allowed to be
breaking free of the restraints
last night my demons won
this morning from the ashes rose ME
helped by God, faith and my friends
sempi fi

try as you might
your dictated actions will never dictate mine
by the grace of my God
my actions shall be my and my choosing alone
not if it pleases thee
i will not live on my knees
i will serve no master
i will not be dictated to
you forget just my clean conscience needed
not both of ours
for a deep night sleep
your actions clearly misplaced hostility
actions not thought through
when investigated , ooh bad spot light
your honesty wont save this ship
too little too late

someone's head will be needed for the crowd
appeasement if you will
my money is on you
or will black mail save you once more
lets be honest, you know no other way
the game played by secrets

season's come and go
my yin yang remains constant
through rain and sun
through death and life
the compass remains fixed
frozen in place
searching for a horizon whose existence is uncertain
my famine and abundance
once leveled the scale
now my famine is overwhelming
like drowning but not able to die
but forced to relive the process of death repeatedly
plagued by the natural need for love
it cannot be removed, destroyed, ignored or exchanged
left unattended it grows desperate equaling to enslavement
still sea worthy i follow my compass
hoping for the storm to end and the shore to appear
i no longer wish for the treasure just the glow of land

a dream
a wish
a star that dies in the black sky
unknown, lost among the billions and billions
never to be remembered

gliding over the piano keys
hitting all the right combinations
the receiver drifting off helped by smoke circles
wiping the face
settling in
sitting deeper
circle the glass edge
soaked in oak mixed water
burning wood crackles
fire a visual trap
slowly sifting trough the past
regret and pride equally rememberd
the ghost visit one by one all before midnight
ding **** the old clock answers the tears
the journey been long

When eve cry
Angels rush
To catch each tear
Emergency love thread
Catch each broken piece
Slowly gently thread eve whole
The cracks remain
Gold of giving
Gold of love
Gems of faith
Heat of gods love
Mend eve's broken pieces whole again
The mending a memory
The day satan tried to **** god's eve
Heavens darling
Paid with jesus's blood
Your master and creator will never surrender you
Love unending and true

mum married her love
rose covered eyes
ended serving an ungrateful master
finding fault with fault finding
inglorious *******, his mother should have strangled him at birth

it cost her, her life
she loved him to her dieing breath
she fulfilled her duty to the T

now you want me to forget and grand you a 2nd marriage
oh my God repeat of the 1st grant performance
a new opera will be build
new players and costumes to make you scream and cry at once
you will be deliriant with joy and pain
equal amount competing for your soul
all to serve the god if status and money
no. i do not grant thee anything
you owe me a childhood of love
              teenage years of caring
              grown up years of leading
instead you work as fault finder
all day, all night, over consuming

dear somebody
what great tragedy have befallen you
a tragedy so powerful you folded under the weight
a tragedy you gave all your power to
a tragedy that **** the life and joy from you
a tragedy that left me a broken, bitter, cold and empty father that is incapable of accepting and loving me
i have never known the safety and security of a dad
i have never known the joy of having a confidant in my father
i have never known the pride of knowing i'm your daughter

this brought mum so much heartache
she often just shook her head saying he was not like this before
she made so many excuses for you
ashamed that she could not save you
she lost to mammon
i don't believe you are save-able

thanks to all your "fatherly love" . . . . .

happy fathers day

How many more times do i have to repeat this pointless exercise of crying my eyes red and swollen due to a broken heart torn apart by grieve and regret.
How many times am i gonna dress in agony and despair and wait for the day to end. I'm glad when night falls. sleeping brings relief perceived. keep telling yourself this ****. The universe no longer listens to my repetitive crap of pain and lost glory days. I am 27 and long for my youth. How pathetic can someone be. Wallowing in self pity on the net for all to read. Is this my scream for help? this is the wrong platform don't I think.
How many times have i told myself the lie. I almost believe it. Just almost. Reality always brings me right back. Being in my twenties. I am plagued by indecision  fear and not knowing what to do. Feeling pressured 100% of the time. Finding no rest for a weary soul screaming for mercy. No, not love just mercy. You heard right. I will settle for the lesser and easier of the two. My God why have you forsaken me? I have asked this Q so many times. Still unanswered. I keep telling myself just make it to the next day time will heal my wounds and time will teach me how to beat my chest correctly without letting depression drag me down into the mud. Just make it to tomorrow. Be honest how many times have I thought about suicide only thing that stops me is what if i fail and i am left with a broken body. Lets be honest cutting sound real good now.

Fly I must, soar I must
For eagle, I am
Held captive, I am, was
Forgot how to fly, I did
Forced to conform, I was
Called rebellious, I am
Dubbed trouble maker, I ,me?
What propaganda, I concur
Easier to believe, I observe
what idiots so conformed brainless thoughtless zombies, I laugh
Hunting for mine,I agree

Up over and under I race for freedom, here I come
Wings don't fail me now, I pray
Out of practise, I am
Just flap and keep us steady, born to
Jump, I tumble in the air
Rocky start, I soar
Higher and higher
Hallo clouds, goodbye clouds
Hallo sun and sky, welcome home

living alone
something broke
i find pleasure creating self destructive drama
and of course i play the lead
the lone crusader
always misunderstood
always left behind and forgotten
i am so sick of myself
wish i could just reboot
or better delete
home planet will be better of without the drama
my inner sanctuary permanent ruin
silly girl
allow entry to the devil dressed grant
most days i exist switched off
breathing, thinking switched off
i have mostly given up on living
sad but true
the self destructive drama have taken no victim
just claimed its price

"if it pleases my Lord? Yes it pleases thee"
made famous by the English
formal gibberish saying nothing
well phrased for max words zero knowledge
this is ingrained in there offspring
Jackal smile and fancy words
the goose that could lay no egg
alas injustice is a good egg
penny wise pound foolish
the grandest motto ever
how proud can you feel, wallowing in mud and smiling
being led by the noise, following bread crumbs
who is the real servant and who is the master?

i know you have lost control
you serve the master you choose, thought it
would have been an envy apparent
you wee outsmarted, not outgunned

but know this my master owns it all
creator of all
master of all

i am obligated to bring all before my God in Heaven
the path i travel can only be with his blessing and guidance
i stand in the pond of love
basking in the rays of joy
afraid to bring you before my God
i haide my face in fear
fear of his answer
you not being worthy in his eyes of his daughter
fear of you not being my destiny
fear of having to release you
ful knowing my soul will die
by bibo, my own bibo
you awaken my dead body
breathed fresh air into my life
rekindled my love of life
i dram again
i do not want a life without you

the veil
me, captivated from 1st introduction
expression of character
extension of the wearer
women forced to express, communicate, and develop new communication methods
limited with resources reveal, the eyes
they reveal what the mouth dare not speak
deviance, love, hate, pain, or dead soul
they connect between souls effortlessly
only seconds needed to be edged into my mind
to echo eternity
often forgetting the owner, remembering the moment
piercing eyes revealing life lived, dreams forgotten and compromised made

on the other side
i long to see the smile or grin belonging to the eyes
long to connect verbally to know what created the captivating eyes
walking down the street i long, search for :
the thing that makes us human
how we recognise each other
how species compare

the face