it is poetically fitting
that you’re the one to remind me
of a phrase i’ve been trying to think of
for two years

i could never get so much of you
that you start losing value

apology... accepted.
how is it i am meant to return fire with
a smile
i take every blow with the grace
i could never find in you.
do you rip kindness out of me
for the hell of it
or because you can't find
your own?

how could i possibly explain
that i love you because you nod your head
when you listen to music
or that you make a face
when you make a mistake?

it could take me years
scouring dictionaries and images
to recreate the feeling that i get
when i watch you concentrate

it would take too long
to tell someone the whole truth
about how your scribbles on paper
look like something written in the stars

i accidentally listened to a beautiful song
for the first time sitting across from you
and now it's yours

i accidentally became someone new
for the first time sitting across from you
and now i'm yours

everything is sticky sweet in the summer
blackberries in the backyard bushes
and honeysuckle lips soft as the breeze
nothing quite as tender as morning molasses
oh, the way it sticks
to me

i keep missing the point of everything
what am i doing here?
floating?
is it time to hold my breath
in naivety again?
i stopped growing yesterday
and today i’ve stopped wanting to.

at the very least
i was lost
at the most
i was fine
my body unbroken
healed all but the spine.

my state of mind is in liquid
drip onto the hardwood floor

i could find love in mushrooms
growing from my palms
before i’d find love in my
blood

voices outside the hall rattle this cage
like tree branches against a window

i’ve got a hole in my body today
losing all of my substance
but i can’t find it anywhere

i keep writing and all i want is to leave
and put light on a mannequin
so at least one of us
can feel warm.