I am done,
You have seen me
Unravel,
Wilt
And shrivel.
No longer a flower
But forever bound to your garden.

I apologise  for peeling your eyes back
And letting them burn as they watch me suffer.
I never meant to be your trigger,
I never meant to pull the trigger
On your fragil stability.

I wish, I wish
You didn't have to watch me die.

I'm done. I'm done.

A quick right turn is accompanied by a shiver
Which just might balance the quivering intestines.
It is best friends, it is best friends…if we
Keep our eyes focused on the same horizon,
The locus is only half forward, half circled,
And it’s almost as if this river is natural..
It’s almost as if it’s course was cut before it’s spring was opened.
The salmon drive stealthy…relentless to the pressure,
Thinking that in conflict there might emerge something fresher,
Fresher than telephone calls with Alice
As she faced the looking glass
Or the crass manner of reaching for
An always-empty chalice.

But the shiver in itself was enough to explain his expectations
And the gaze of something greater gave him visions of creation
Shelter from the storm
Her silhouette has him splintered
Splintered in hope and doubt that the fates beat the furies

Rippling field of ripe golden rice,
splash of yellow, wherever my
                                     eyes travel,
evening sun unfurls
a  glowing magic carpet,
a swishing whirlwind,
tries its hands in making crop circles,
by twisting and twirling the rice plants,
how this  would have made you
run for your paint and brush,
what a huge loss for you, Van Gogh!

I tried does that not deserve
Some kind of recognition
Does that not deserve an applause?
I gave you everything I could muster
Yet apparently I fell short
Because tears still roll down your face
Scars appear to dress your thighs
And hide underneath your clothes

I tried to make you happy
And that alone is an accomplishment
Considering that I have nothing to offer you
I am just as broken as you are
If not worse
I may not be the best looking guy
But I had what most did not
Knowledge as to how you felt

I have worn your shoes
I have slit my wrist
I have cried tears that no one could see
But I planned out my life
Just in case I go further in it
Because I never thought I would make it this far
And I know you had your doubts
But can I give it another shot

I learned how you operate
You didn’t come with instructions
But I was willing to stand back
And learn every curve
Every scar you had
Even hear your most suppressed screams
Due to the torture you put yourself through
Before, during, and after you closed your eyes

I tried to make you happy
I tried to ease your pain
But it was by your hand that guided me
It was I you were holding
As you plunged me into your flesh
But I also seen all the guys
You tried to make yourself happy off of
But it never worked


You cried tears I couldn’t wipe away
Because in human form
I was a nobody
To far from you
To tell you I loved you
To far to hold you and make you happy
But I am here now
And I’ll take on any form for you

Just put my other form down
For I have hurt you enough
And I promised never to do that
But I tried to just make you happy
Yet I failed at every attempt
Because I did not understand you then
But baby I am here
And I have learned

So give me one more chance
To make things right
To rewrite the way things have happened
Because every tear I wipe away
And every piece of your heart I glue back together
Will be worth it
Because instead of trying to make you happy
I will succeed in doing so

And if I get hurt in the process
I am not going anywhere
Because every cut every scratch
Every bruise or crack in my structure
Will be worth it
I am willing and ready to die
Fighting to make you happy
But it all starts when I find the courage to say “Hello”