A Shadow at the door (Additonal Stanza were added to this one)**
_________________
He stood there for so long
It was like an eternity went by
Just as he had appeared
He quickly vanished from sight
Leaving me to think
I was safe, every things alright
Then in slumber I fell
Sweet dreams of a child
When WHAM! ! !
There he was again my nightmare began
Blinking in the stale night
Breathing his stench
I screamed my loudest
I kicked with all my might
Sweaty hands clamped down
On my mouth
Terror was all that I could feel
An odor of beer that lingered in the air
Sweaty palms and body made me
Tremble in fear
The minutes ticked by I felt tainted
And dead and blacked out in horror
At this nightmarish dread
The flashback ended just there
As the tears started trickle down my cheeks
I had made my way to the window
And looked blankly at the darkness
That enveloped the world outside
Behind I could hear the soft snoring
Of my misbegotten night of degradation
From the night before
I was only 19 years old
I believed I was a ******
Ha what a joke
I had not found any blood
I was never a ****** as I use to believe
I was nothing but wasted space
All those nightmares I had
As a child those cold nights of terror
They were in fact real
They happened to me in real
I blink at the flicking light outside
As what’s his face stirs in his sleep
My anger was dim at first
But then it just grew
Blinding rage at the realization
Of my haunted dreams
Were in fact real and not just a bad dream
I looked up at the waning and paling moon
And made a promise there and then
I will hate all men
Forgive me for being that way
I now know not all men were like HIM
____________
Tangled Weaves of Life
Oh the tangle weaves of life
Make us as human beings
So unworthy in our lives
To others who think
It’s just all a bad dream
We stand upon the edge
Of life’s calculated risks
Wondering can we be
What others can see
All they ever see
Is the shell that hides your soul?
They poke, **** and question
What kind of life you lead
You hide from them your soul
The journeys of life’s mystery
They think they know you best
But in reality all they see
Is a shell of a being?
That holds your soul to be
One that hides the ghost of pain
That is dormant in your heart
One that’s learnt to live and breathe
Behind a painted door
They often knock to see
If you are still here in reality
Little do they know?
Of your secret life of woe
Only once in while
You let them in your life
Then firmly close the door
That hides your secret life
___________
Wasted upon the Ground of life
The streets of life are real
For those of us who learn
What it’s really like
To be wasted and alone
In the mire of mud
You watch as life goes by
You wonder who they are
Those that pass by
Your earthly remains
You try to gain control
Of the normality in life
Only to drown
In your burdens of old
The shadows of life
Pound upon your soul
You duck, you fight
What you think is right
Only to learn
It’s just an imaginary foe
And then you start to laugh
At the audacity of life
How dare they all ignore you?
Wasted upon the ground of life
___________
What’s Left of her Soul
She sits upon the chair
And see’s the ties
That bound her still
She lets out a scream
Only to learn
That she cannot be heard
She looks around in fear
At the dark and ***** room
Only to see the hands
That rips away at her soul
She struggle’s she fights
The bonds that hold her still
She hears laughter and insults
As they tear away at her clothes
As she struggle’s in her seat
Then she learns to be void
Of feeling and voice
And watches them strip
Her humanity no more
She feels as if she’s a drift
As she floats above the carnage
And feels sorry for the child
That sits all alone
Not realizing that
It’s her body of old
Then sudden awareness
Wakes her to reality
And then tears trickle quietly
As she fights with dignity
At what’s left of her soul
____________
Hate
A word we all regard
With decorum
But for me it was one
That I lived and grew with
As the passing years
Of recollection
Encumbered my soul
I hated all men
Thought they were dogs of the earth
I had never meet a decent man yet
No…not yet
If they could damage my soul
I could use this hate like a knife
The only men I ever have trusted in my life
Were my brothers and my father and now my son
Others were just objects to be held at length
To be hated for what they represented in my life
Even those that were decent I could not fathom them as human
All I saw was one face on ever man that ever wanted to be in my life
If I call you brother that’s the highest regards I can pay
If I call you my friend and you’re a man
Then that is something I rarely give out to any man
Just know that I no longer regard men with all that hate
If anything I have to forgive those that I have hurt
On this site…in a strange way…I have met decent men
This is why I am in awe of those of you that show respect
I am learning there are decent human beings in this world
If you attack me verbally I will reply with dignity
If you attack my family I will kick your ***
Smiles but violence is not the answer forgiveness is
Be strong it will eventually be ok in the end
Smiles simple as that
No questions asked
Kaila George
Submitted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, August 06, 2013
I submitted this collection on another site, J.A.M is a very good poet here, I find his work refreshing , but he challagned us to write a raw poem, I had quite a few by the time this challeged was placed, and these are those poems. I hope they help.