so few of my pieces
tend to go on and trend
which is proof that they
aren't of the right rend

the behind the scenes
selectors don't like my stuff
they reckon it smells worse
than camphor *****

for some time I proffered
sub standard work  
which has met with their
side way smirks

the officials who have oversight
at the trending room
are of the one mind
in wanting my poems to doom

yet I shall try to better
my output of daily disasters
so they'll be more appealing
to the trending masters

The woman kept on nagging me
my friend that is no fib
I can't believe they made her
from my godforsaken rib
I wish she had a sister
or a sympathetic friend
Cuz if I hear another word
it might just be the end

I guess that God almighty
must have heard my faithful plea
She's found a talking serpent
in the garden by a tree
They sit and chat for hours
about what I do not care
As long as I am over here
and she is over there

I think it was a Sunday
when my troubles all began
She showed up with a present
from her slimy serpent friend
A single, perfect apple
that was beautiful and red
I should have been suspicious
but I took a bite instead

All at once I noticed
she was naked thru and thru
And a cold wind made me realize
that I was naked too
I looked around for something
that would cover up my shaft
She handed me a fig leaf
and gave a mocking laugh

I said 'you find this funny
but you need to realize
Something here is different
and some evil’s on the rise'
She pointed at my genitals
which left me void of pride
'The only thing that's rising
is that thing you're trying to hide'

I spun myself away from her
a perfect pirouette
I didn’t know for certain
just how big this thing would get
She laughed at my confusion
and snickered at my shame
‘You’re the only man I’ve ever known
but I bet you’re all the same’

I said ‘we need to focus
on the matter now at hand
Maybe that old rattlesnake
can tell us where we stand’
And as I spoke these words to her
The serpent slid away
He said ‘I’d love to stick around
but really, I can’t stay’

As soon as he had disappeared
the ground began to quake
Old Yahweh came before us
and he said ‘for goodness sake!
Did you guys eat the apples
from that sacred apple tree?’
I said ‘it was this woman here
who gave the fruit to me’

The woman said ‘that rattlesnake
has played an evil trick
He took me to the apple tree
and bade me take my pick
He said I would be as a God
the smartest on the block
But all that really happened
was I laughed at Adam's ****'

Things were going very bad
I came to realize
It's bad enough we ******* God
but why insult my size?
Then Yahweh said 'I've heard enough
and cannot let this pass'
He tossed me from the garden
and I landed on my ***

A half a second later
Eve was flying overhead
She cleared my mark by 15 feet
and landed on her head
Two angels at the garden gate
advised us not to linger
Despite their wings and flaming swords
Eve gave them the finger

I looked into her smiling eyes
and found I didn’t care
She looked extremely lovely
with her finger in the air
All at once I understood
where I was meant to be
I could deal with any hell on earth
if she was there with me

Well now it’s been a thousand years
and I kneel at her grave
The only thing I ever loved
alas I could not save
I cast my eyes into the sky
and think about the price
Yes Eden was a garden...

But she was paradise

I tried so very hard you see
to accept Christianity
To believe that snakes in apple trees
can talk to maidens pleasantly
And a God that is both one and three
makes little sense mathematically

But the faithful ones insist that I
should never try to verify
‘Accept it all and don’t ask why
That’s how a Christian should comply’
But really I don’t think that I
can this dogma truly buy

But do not look so ill at ease
uncertainty is no disease
And even though we don't agree
it makes no difference to me
I simply, simply cannot be
a fan of Christianity

But now I see I’ve made you cry
please let it go and dry your eyes
There really is no reason why
So let me try and clarify
We simply don’t see eye to eye
on all the things we both decry

And now my rhymes are running low
but I’ve only got four lines to go
So I think it would be apropos
to end this dog and pony show
And to paraphrase the great Thoreau:

‘When we forget our learning, we’ll begin to know’



And now my friends, I have to go : )

I hardly knew my mother
and I barely knew my dad
But god I knew John Lennon
he was everything I had
I mimicked everything he did
my life was all the rave
Until the day that Chapman
sent my hero to his grave

That day still burns in memories
that time cannot erode
A generation's legend
shot and bleeding in the road
For me it was the final straw
that broke my timid chains
I vowed I would preach tolerance
and never hate again

I confess it isn't easy
to accept some points of view
and I find myself quite often asking
'What would Johnny do?'
But then I take a minute
and perhaps a couple more
Just until I'm certain
I won't knock you to the floor

(I'm still working on the tolerance part)

'The time has come,' the Preacher said,
'to speak of many things
Of talking snakes and ****** births
and golden angel wings
And why Perdition’s fire is hot
and whether Christ is King...'

'Hold on a sec' the poet said,
'Before we sort this mess
I think I need an hour or so
to chill and convalesce'
'Take your time' the preacher said,
'Tomorrow will be fine'
The poet thanked him kindly
and then poured a glass of wine

And then he poured another
and another and six more
But soon the flask was empty
and he stretched out on the floor
He looked up at the preacher
and in garbled words he said:
'I think I'd rather talk
about reality instead'

Flag of my fathers

When will the winds of equality
lift you from your languid prison?

When will your 12,000,000
illegals be given shelter
beneath your furled stars?

Flag of my fathers

When will you be worthy
of your returning veterans?

I'm tired of them washing
my windows for spare change
beneath the overpass

Flag of my fathers

When will your gays and lesbians
be more than fodder for bible
thumping patriots?

I was a bible thumping patriot
once but I never hated the gays

I'm tired and broke Flag of my fathers

The bank wants my house
and the Chinaman wants my job

He's welcome to it if he can get
the Indian to give it up

The doctor wants my money
but it's all been squandered
on promises and broken dreams

I call for equality Flag of my fathers
and they call me a communist

I'm not a communist but if communists
believe in equality, was Jefferson
a communist?

Flag of my fathers

They tell me to leave if I don't like
the way things are but where will I go?
Mexico's crowded and Canada's cold

The government tells me 'get a job'
but the corporation says 'get an education'
The University hands me a bill
and when I can't pay
they tell me 'get a job'

It's all ****** up Flag of my fathers

It doesn't make any sense

I've got a headache, leave me
alone

I'm so tired

Watching shadows crawl across
the wall is dull even for a slow
witted fool like me

Flag of my fathers

Why are we at war?
Why are we closing our museums
and demolishing our libraries?
Why are we feeding our military
and starving our vets?

It's too much to take
Flag of my fathers

It's too **** much to take...

It's 2am
and I'm still here
I should have skipped
that second beer
Perhaps the third
and forth ones too
I swear my drinking
days are through

What's that?
McFarland bought a round?
He never buys!
The filthy hound!
Then I'll drink that one
and gladly go
It'd be quite rude
to just say 'no'

Alright I'm done
It's been a ball
What's that you say?
The final call?
In that case
give me one to go
It'll be my last
I swear it's so

Oh Jesus
Where's that ****** door?
And how'd I wind up
on the floor?
And when did morning
come to pass?
Oh Heaven,
save my sorry ***

My woman,
Lord I'm in so deep
She'll knock my brains
into next week
She'll show no love
or sympathy
Save me lord!
Oh woe is me!

Whatever am
I going to do?
I really haven't
got a clue
What's that?
You open up at four?
Then I guess I'll stay
and have one more

A bowl

Just a bowl

Empty but for a rotting pear
and the core of a once green
apple

The shadows pass over this table
as the setting sun drifts into
the abyss of an Autumn sky

Darkness now

The bowl all but vanishing
in the solitude of a moonless
transgression

The bottle

Oh yes, the bottle

I can see it's outline
in the forgotten drag
of the day's last cigarette

Amber solace to sooth
a tortured mind and numb
a jaded soul

Until morning...