I don't get why your ****** eyes can't see
I don't get why your short frame can't grasp
I don't get why your semi-average mind can't understand
I don't get why it can't seep in your dark skin and chubby belly that

I  l o v e  y o u

because you care for your friends with utmost loyalty, sincerity
because your eyes shine with fire for the things and the ones you love
because you never run out of wild stories and theories
because your laugh is more than enough to make me laugh along
because your crazy ways take me in an adventure, not chaos definitely
because you would rather be odd in this apathetic world for the sake of chivalry
because you give me more innumerable insane reasons
but actually, simply
because you

You may see yourself as someone unlovable, detestable
but please get rid of that nonsense
because I am here
and very soon,
distance and time would get in the way but
I will always be here and

**I  l o v e  y o u

i.
when will my hopes
become existent enough to pour out
                       words of sincerity  
to speak of a genuine warmth filling my chest
instead of the lines full of teenage angst
and the desperate cries of prisoners inside me
                       who are trying to escape
all I can think of are cliché sayings
that tell of gloomy times
occasionally ending with half-hearted
                       attempts at optimism
does that please them?

ii.
I give enough of myself away
that I am kept from prevailing
but keep enough behind my dialated pupils
                       and shaky hands
to never be trodden on or crushed to dust
I sometimes murmur the thoughts that
                       clamor my mind
but barely above a whisper because they will be misunderstood

iii.
reflections hit me seemingly everywhere I turn
the images on the water’s surface
the gaunt faces that stare back at me in the
                       broken glass
when I look into my sister’s eyes they
                       slap me in the face  
these are the many people I used to be

iv.
I want to be that person
that soul
who filled me to the brim
                       when I was shaking remains of
                       mulch out of my scuffed up sneakers
and running off to seek boundless amounts
                       of a word that never escapes my mouth anymore
I don’t want to be known for
spewing out pink pieces of pathetic misery
                       onto the white carpet
No one truly wants a sad girl
the reality is that they are not mysterious and full
                       of dark beauty
at least I am not

v.
I carry an expertise
of driving myself into a dark hole
making it powerful enough to either
                    drag others in or ****** them out
someone gets hurt either way  
I leave the classic images of sorrow
                    and dark-lined eyes
for my own destiny
I consist of burrowing under my covers
Laying unconscious until the sun disappears from my view