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 Mar 2013 Jwala Kay
Kai P.
A tragedy it is,
To desire the fate that is not available,
The need to love;
The yearn to fight a battle filled with empty,
Invisible, yet incessant;
The need to waste away in a liberty that he or she alone possesses,
That he or she alone beholds.
A **** shame it is,
To allow insanity to take over,
When it is indeed sane to feel the way you do.
 Mar 2013 Jwala Kay
Kai P.
I often wonder if hope still exists,
That if I prayed enough,
Good things would suffice,
And great things would abound.

I often wonder if faith was ever real,
That if I crossed my fingers 'til they cramped,
Lucky stars would count themselves,
And love would get prescription lenses.

I always think about you,
And wonder what's inside your brain:
Whether music notes have taken over,
Or rather the nicotine that you inhale.

Where you've got music notes,
I've got daisies.
Where you've got nicotine,
I've got hot air.

So let the music notes blow wind over my daisies,
And let the hot air and nicotine commingle to create smoke.

We both enjoy a good cigarette in the daisy field.
Don't we.
 Mar 2013 Jwala Kay
Kai P.
It Is
 Mar 2013 Jwala Kay
Kai P.
I tried to conjugate it but it kept a solemn laughter.
The faux sweetness of it,
The hidden disease it ought to have been.
It laughed until its throat became raw,
And my ego, exiguous,
Down-trodden.
I cried to provide it and I that balance,
And with my eyes, yellow and jaundice-like from all of the salt and smoke,
It began to weep with me as well,
As if to say, “I am sorry for your loss.”
I’d lost it.
And if I never happened upon your face
Would my life have been an empty place?
Would I have found Gods grace
To be whom I am?

And if I never knew that you were here
Would my life Have been different?
Would I have never beEn me
The I ,I am today?

And if I never tried to live like you
Would the destiny of my future changed too?
Would I have lived
The life I now knew?

Nothing happens without a reason
Life is made up out of seasons
What we decide is untrue
God allows -for me and you
To fulfill His Dream


Can anybody tell me
Why life have played out to be
THe life I'm living seemingly
If what I am-im Questioning
"What if" my Life, had should been
DifferenTly?

No one can tell me
For what I perceive to be
No one will comfort me
I'm not living free-
THese questions rEsting in mE
Have destROyed me completely


I can't see the "what is"
In a difference
From the "what iffs"

What iF I"ll never finD ME?

The way my life had should been...
I am but a man
A single foe to me
Is the reason I harbour
With all certainty

I am but a man
Who is never too true
For in lies I believe
And envy the comfort they give to you

I am but a man
Who prays to god and devil alike
Who shames in all carnal desires
And prays with all his might

I am but a man
For a step or two
I believe I can write history
But I can't see it through

I am but a man
Who will never see the light
For peace is unforgiving
Come day or night

I am but a man
Who loves for reasons cruel
For the heart of a stranger
Is gold to this fool.

I see but now
The error of my ways
The dance of insanity
And time of the day

I say to you
Love me for what I am
Always just a man
Who lives and breathes.
 Mar 2013 Jwala Kay
Natalie Bean
over you: easy
getting over myself is
another story.
so many haikus!
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