today i am numb

yesterday i was numb

tomorrow i will be numb

last week i was numb

next year i will be numb

and all of that makes
me feel even more *numb

i finally
reached the top
of the ladder
but then the rungs
gave out and
i fell back
down
down
*down

she was
a mixed drink,
one part pills,
two parts misery
and no one
wanted to
take a sip.

She's so thin.
She's so nice.
She could really light up a room with that grin.
Her blue eyes sparkle when she cries.
Her hair is like silk,
woven,
from a spider of golden.
And her skin is soft and pure like milk.
I'm not jealous.
Far from it, actually.
I have no reason to be.
I'm thin.
I'm nice.
My laugh can fill a room, it's so loud,
and I'm not afraid to fight.
My hair is red and gold and brown.
She's blond and beautiful.
That's just who she is.
So I shouldn't be jealous.
And I'm not.
It's just, I'm surrounded by blond and beautiful,
the brunette feels out of place.
When those Blond and Beautiful shine so bright,
It hurts my eyes and I hide my face.
I'm the odd man out.
But that's okay.
Cause I'm Brunette and Beautiful,
Or so I assume.

i was always convinced that i could do it better
faster
harder
stronger
but i couldn't and i stopped trying because i'm lazy.
i bark at dogs i don't like
but i won't bite
so i think it's okay.
i've never been good at pool so please stop pushing me into the corners
and the holes in the wall
and now i'm stuck
with this feeling in my gut
called
Growing Up
and if this life is a journey
and this journey is a ship
then you can just call me
sea sick