he was the kind of guy who would have willfully participated
in the ****** of Sylvia Likens, and very much have enjoyed the interaction with the rest of the gang while doing so.

he is still that kind of guy,
just a lot older now
too good for most things
and all the women who now hate him
for all the discomforting memories he had left them with.

his mom had been a nurse
and now his sister was too
perhaps whatever woman he was with was too,

his mother loved him, how could she not,
she had been a nurse,
so he was absolutely sure that masks, social distancing, and mandated vaccines were how it should be.
anyone who didn't know these things was too embarrassing for him.
his mom told him so.

at the age of 44, he still had the exact same job he had had for the past twenty years. he was too good to do anything else other than making deliveries to restaurants, which were all requiring vaccine passports for dine in and perhaps soon delivery.

most of him felt very important
every time he unloaded his delivery van
or posted on twitter or instagram

or wrote about how many of those woman had deeply loved him
even though they were not worthy of his importance
and could never be

he was too desirable for them
and they needed to learn that
so he had taken the time to teach them that
long ago, they needed to learn
so he had taken the time to teach them that
if they had been worth remembering, he would still find a way to continue teaching them that.

life had been good lately, he made $95 CAD
on a baseball card trade, he was a good person
who had a lot to offer the world and only deserved
the most smoking hot of non-throwaway women
when there were so many throwaway women who needed to learn

he knew what all the good music and writing was
and knew when something wasn't worth listening to or worth reading, jack ketchum's **** was certainly no good, he knew it,
all the fun girls knew it too,
he knew a lot, so he taught.

he was a good person with a good life and smart with his baseball card investment strategies, he didn't need an undesirable life
he had good advice to give to baseball, football, hockey, and soccer leagues
it was easy to make all these excellent observations

as a good person,
he reached over for his smokin hot queenshit
earlier this very night,
kissed the nape of queenshit's sweet, whip-smart neck
and fondled queenshit's girl ****

while listening to the queen's vaccinated breathing
tomorrow he would make a youtube playlist for queenshit
that included drunken one off's he had recorded with his band 15 years ago
then, one of them would make an interesting, important dinner
they would both eat and talk about.

there was this part of a story
where a noah's ark was carved
along with all the animals
and given to the orphan girl

a little boy got mad,
destroyed the ark, the animals,
threw them down and watch them break

i can't remember which book,
maybe Heidi or the Secret Garden

just that part of the book

i can't ever hate you enough
i wrote your name
your city
your country
your employer
your most accurate description:

a loser
just a terrible person
who helps himself to everything
including the complete destruction of someone else's happiness
to make yourself feel important
you are that kind of man

i guess that's how weak they make them
in canada

i hope you drink yourself to death
and drown terrified in your own *****
i hate you that much

it was a picture i didn't want,
that is what she gave and that is what i got

the scared children huddled together
in the middle of the shabby bridge
as the angel hovered wingedly behind them

a forever that comes stuck just in time
dressed in white and angel abright


it is all so suspended
implying they cross
and safely cross

well in that one way it's just so sad
that hell is real
and time so irreversible

and in another way it's just the way it has to be
when i see you from the ugly side
and i see you so uglified on the ugly side

getting excited at $40 CAD profit on a baseball card trade
a 5% gross profit $CAD
not so much now

you're just something
gathered in bits and pieces
by stray gleaners in strawless fields of straw
that or the unnecessity on the otherwise empty shelf

the events of the day are so embarrassing these days
some man in a wheelchair in the middle of the safeway parking lot
smelling up the hot sun,
stuck in the middle of the safeway parking lot,
he says, "yes, he needs help" when asked,
"he needs to be wheeled to the shade", he softly moans

but he does all the heavy wheeling as I push
when he gasps for spare change, he will get the $5 USD,
then leave his uneaten take out that someone else he met in the parking lot bought him.
he will keep the $5 USD.

stinking in the hot sun
looked as if he had been good looking once
making his money in the parking lot

Excited to make the $40 CAD,
not at all net of any uncharged packaging, shipping
or taxes,
Excited to make the $40 CAD
can always be counted to be

comfortable with trudeau,
uncomfortable with anyone vocal about their discomfort with trudeau

and to know the correct placement of commas, semicolons, and periods
never using the exclamation point
or regarding unhappiness,
other than his own

but we can't recross the creaky bridge
or get the $5 USD back
or ever care about $40 CAD
we can't uncross the creaky bridge

as sad as it is
that is the way hell has to be
the way you have to be

It was feeling dark
and a lot like Eleanor Rigby.

The **** days were  getting progressively more ****
with each passing **** day, like a late stage cancer that could have been painlessly avoided had it been cut out early.
Now it was just too late.


The ***** fan had been blowing four days straight
the vacuum cleaner had broken when she tried to clean
her apartment two days ago, it was just hopeless
the carpet infuriated her and made her give up.

Giving up was a determination far beyond want.

The weather was so hot, so hot it justified its place as a conversation starter, even for those who hated small talk
and unauthentic conversation meant to lead only to short term gains that turned to ****, much like all the pervasive politics and tech startups on the west coast.

She walked to the chinese owned convenience store just last night.
The friendly check out girl was talking to the guy in line ahead of her about the temperature, so hot that it truly proved global warming was real, they said as they scoffed at those who didn't think global warming was a thing.

She was so disgusted after her cigarettes and canned alcoholic beverages were rang up, she was disgusted with the cigarettes and for supporting a chinese owned business whose entitled owners treated their friendly employees like ****, inferior ****.

She was disgusted as she remembered the just as hot days of her childhood,
and the total usualness of consecutive days of 100+ degrees fahrenheit every few years or so.

all the produce was going bad in the refrigerator
the tulips on the coffee table had been dead for months
a filthy fan was blowing on the floor
she sat at her computer just like she thought she would
the hot day out had been wasted in a smoky room
biting her nails and such in a ***** apartment

she meant to clean
she meant to prepare for her interview on monday,
only one day left to prepare, she had wasted the whole saturday
in a smoky room on a hot day on top of that

she was afraid of the interview, her apartment needed a good cleaning, she needed to prepare for the interview
in the hot smoky room of the ***** apartment

the cycle just becomes a state of being
a never good enough state of being
because she was a realist

she finally wondered
why it always took reality so long
to show up

hang your flag upside down in distress
wait for worse things to happen
bad things have already happened

look around you,
the red guards are kneeling hard
ching chong, wade across the water all the way to mao zedong
too unrepairable to understand
a stronger hand made strong
by an Almighty hand

and so in the confines of their cluelessness
tomorrow's chew toys are only useful idiots in black masks for now
conditionally loved by the even weaker minded, currently still cheering them on
as their small or fat black masked bodies laughably block the crosswalk of broadway and denny

some are robots running on outdated programming,
built to self destruct,
their particular model will run for president and answer to names like
judas pence or mitt romney

some cry wolf
but we've heard it so many times already
it doesn't mean anything anymore
the unfit mother might not even cash in
on the blown apart remains of her knifey daughter

most others are a sad, feeble kind of gladiator:
the andabatea, often found coding or developing at amazon, with limited or no visibility; always blindfolded and overpaid, always hearded, always hated by the end user,
the bestiarii never prepared to fight the imported beast,
the noxxi never meant to have a chance with their dull swords, always too worthless for opportunity
so many noxxi with their dull and laughable swords
blocking the crosswalk of broadway and denny

that class of gladiator.