you
you're just a thought in my mind
and i
i'll be fine
without you
( daydream )
you won't hear my calling for
anything at all
and now when I redo us
i'll bust out my big guns
and it'll be nothing like before
cause nobody trusts that
it's done with
i spit it out with my left lung
my third rib
and i finished it off
quivered
cause most of the time it's just like
t h i s  
quivered;
but even the shaken warm again
and i'm fine until then
i'm being p a t i e n t
i'm being complacent with the situation being placed adjacent to my observation
my loss of sensation; inspiration
or the strange complaisant state I relate and stay in
or the location you placed on every plain of our sensation
creates my saddest frustration
that we're past tense
d o n e
I erased it
that at night when you bite down
hard
you still taste it

the last few nights
i've been writing
frightened
trying to decide
what's right
in my mind
but i'm blinded
by this time
this time
this space
it doesn't make sense to me
to erase you
while
you replace me
i've never felt so empty
as i do
right now
reaching out to you
and knowing you
don't want it
i'm being selfish
i can't accept this
and pounding my head
against this table
why do i torture myself
when she doesn't want me

please don't
cling
to another chest
i'm begging
cause i'm still dangling from yours
and love
don't devour her soul
mine is still everything with yours
funny how pathetic rhymes so well
with regret
it's almost poetic
how you
gave me up to this
necessity
you say it so
apathetically
like i'm just suppose to be okay
living without you

this time tonight
i fumble
tumbling over my foolishness
and crowding all of these spaces
with the idea of
you
you and me
and now it's just

you

me

separately
is it actually better this way ?
(babe)
you were my present
what I fought to search for
you stood
in my face
in my shower
you were here
entirely
waiting for me to see it
and as soon as i did
you left me

I'm trying my best
Woman
To let go of you now
So the aching might stop
& breaking my bones
Trying to shake you off
Climbing to figure out how
I lost like this
& you don't want it anymore
I've cracked through my chest
& slammed shut all my doors
On the floor
is where I belong now
crawling all my thoughts
If you could see my mind
You'd know you are not forgotten
& I have not let go yet
I don't know where to start
I use to start by kissing you
But not this time
This time I fall apart

Just this once
Let's forget about love
& open up
No more
Keeping your eyes shut
I want to see what I'm missing
And closing my eyes when we kissed
Made me miss the blissfulness
Of being that close to your skin
I want to begin again  
I know that I can
But you leave me like this
with my heart in your fist
all my love in your hands
a foolish man
Is where I stand now
& even I can't stand me
Woman you know who I am
****, can't you remember?
Our dances of strands & hair bands
& how our kiss felt like November
you said you want the best for me
& I want what's best for you
but you're the best thing that there is
Guess I'm the best at always losing

good night* is just a little phrase
we say before we sleep
to stop our heads from thinking much
it allows me now to dream
& oh the word is only heard
in bed before your snoring
it's my favorite phrase
because i know
it's followed by
*good morning