The day my father dies
will be a day like any other.
Only,
he will (finally) have an excuse to not call me

Only for you! It’s true! These eccentric-poetic and theoretic views! As we breakthrough those blues, those clues, the dues and the hues. I will wait, I will wait. Awaiting, through the chills the pills, the shrills and thrills! I will wait, I will wait. Waiting through the beers, the cheers, the fears, leers, peers and tears! Awaiting through the dreary and weary...

Through the lonely and phony years... Waiting through the erratic and sporadic. The drastic, elastic and fantastic! I will wait, I will wait. As rotting bait! I will wait, I will wait. Awaiting the date the debate, the fate and the weight. Waiting to articulate and procreate! Fascinating this procrastinating! However, I will endeavor and wait,
I will wait and wait.

Horary! Awaiting I say for our hour of power. Waiting for this blissfully and wishfully day that our disgraced, misplaced ways may physically brace with embrace, grace and trace! I wait and I wait. People wonder why I blunder in ponder? You’re like the flu doesn’t that bother you? Answer, father figure I never knew? Still I will wait,
I will wait, I will wait for you…

Growing up too fast.
Facing the real world too soon.
'Cause Dad isn't there.

Dad,
Why won't you listen to me?
Please hear my silent plea,
You so often ignore.
Why can't you see my pain?
Just once, I wish you'd say;
I love you, simply because you are you.
Why can't you admire my compassion? My soul?
That you don't even know yet cries out for recognition.
Why have you never heard my plea?
A plea to understand who I am.
Grew up believing,
Everything you did was right.
I tried so hard to please you.
Yet I always fell somehow short of your expectations.
Why did I fail to win your love?
Why have you never heard me cry?
Why have you never listened to me?
You have heard my words,
But you never understood what I was trying to say.

Father, you left me,
Drove away without a thought,
And a small part of me died,
While my tears would not stop.

Questioned what was wrong,
With me, or with my appearance,
As I thought was I not handsome,
Was I not smart enough for you?

Maybe if I had been taller,
Or, if I had had some special talent,
You might have hesitated some,
Before you left me in the dark.

Maybe, if I had more friends,
Or had been more helpful to you,
You might have stopped and then,
Shut the car off and stayed longer.

Had to now prove always,
That I was loveable,
I was someone who needed,
To be important to others.

Went the extra mile,
When others didn't,
Tried so very hard and hard,
To be wanted and loved.

Father, you left me long ago,
As if I was insignificant and nothing,
And I, still trying to be wanted and loved,
Work harder than the others ever will.