My heart died in poems
It had never written.
It poured romance
Into the chasms of loneliness.
It basked in the light
It thought came from heaven.
But it was just the desert sun.
I gave her my soul.
But all she wanted
Was my body.

Farewell  Maman

As the millennium folded.
A change has warmed the day.
Even winter has forgotten
where it lives.
It is time for last farewells.
Listen to the dulcet tones
of the music Maman.
Each note a snowflake of joy.
I see your mouth form the words.
It’s shape changing to the melody.
But no sound appears.
The light from a bright winter moon.
Frames your hair like the halo
you will get Maman.
Not a leaf remains on the garden tree
Soon all the silence will befall us.
You must go Mamon.
To sleep in the silent peaceful
dells of infinity.
I will await your calls to me.
Upon the winds of time.
That blow softly in dreams.
The stars are snuffing dark
one by one Maman.
Leaving only darkness
here in this room.
Where my eyes seek
memories of you.
That are melting behind
the cataracts of my tears.

Her soft Italian accent
Still haunts my dreams.
I did not know she was love.
Love had never called before.
Suddenly all I ever needed
dreamed of or wanted.
was here in my waking world.
She was soft and romantic.
In the half light of sleeping
I would watch over her.
A vigil to my gentle lover.
For her *******
Was as natural as breathing.
She held the promise
of her femininity
In everything she did.
She bore my children.
And gave me romance
until the day she died.
I did not understand
love until she taught me
With her sweetness
and tenderness.
Even in her resting place
The flowers turn towards her
feeling her warmth
even in death.
I do not need for love
to call on me again.
For love has been
and still lives in my heart.
I speak to her softly.
Each night in her native Italian
Addio, amore mio
Farewell my love.

Her soft Italian accent
Still haunts my dreams.
I did not know she was love.
Love had never called on me before.
Suddenly all I ever needed or
dreamed of and wanted.
was here in my waking world.

She was soft and romantic.
In the half-light of sleeping
I would watch over her.
A vigil to my sweet gentle lover.
For her *******
was natural as breathing.
She held the promise
of all her femininity
In everything she did.

She bore my children.
And gave me romance
until the day she died.
I did not understand
love until she taught it to me
with her sweetness
and tenderness.

Even in her resting place
The flowers turn towards her
feeling her warmth
even in death.

I do not need for love
to call on me again.
For love has been
and still lives in my heart.

I speak to her softly.
Each night in her native Italian
Addio, amore mi.
Farewell my love.

It was Fascination I Know.
Remember my love
I asked you for the dance
so many years ago now.
More years than leaves
blowing in the fall wind.
I was fascinated

You saw the glow in my eyes
all that my poor heart
could not conceal.
You could see I know
I was just fascinated
you were so lovely.
All that I ever wanted
All I ever needed.

Your hair had the
fragrance of moonlight.
Your head rested
upon my shoulder.
Your eyes closed
my lips kissed your hair.
we waltzed to Nat King Cole
His velvet voice crooned softly.
It became our song my love
Fascination
Always Fascination.

i can close my eyes
even now my darling.
Come dance with me once more.
On our kitchen dance floor.
I will sing fascination
for you my angel.
Softly in Nats whisper
And let me tell you again
How my fascination
turned to love

I sing it low and sweetly
For my forever love.

*It was fascination
I know
Seeing you alone
With the moonlight above
Then I touch your hand
And next moment
I kiss you
Fascination turned to love.

I was fascinated by you.
The very first time I saw you.
I saw the moon falling into my hands.
The breeze kiss my lips.
Softly with the promise of springtime.
We have spent many years together now.
more than the falling leaves of autumn.
Yet still when I look
into your timeless eyes.
I see that fascination
the same one from so long ago.
Yet now
I do not know where I begin
and you end.

Father’s advice to son
(Sorry Mr. Hemingway)

Never trust a lawyer
Or a money lender too
Read fine print in every contract
Never buy it used but only new
Don’t sign up for the army
Only marry one good wife
Never write on Facebook
It will come back and ruin your life
Always despise the latest war
Only seek out  sweet girls with a smile.
Never buy or rent a *****
Never trust a gambler
He will steal your very last cent
Your landlord will evict you
Cos you can’t the rent.
So lead a good and wholesome life
And outlive all and every friend
See them all in the great beyond
When you’re prosperous old life will end.

Fathers And Daughters
A Story Poem
By Jude Kyrie

My tiny flat is old and dark.
All I got in the split
looks out of place.
She took most everything.
I do not care she can have it.

The only thing I wanted from her
was her love and my daughter.
She has taken both of these things
to another man’s house now.

She drops my teenage daughter off .
for my weekend.
She looks reluctant,
giving me her disinterested look.
but realizes she will have to stay.

My wife looks well and very beautiful
I close my eyes for a moment.
Remembering her long hair
falling on my bare chest
in our bed as we made love.
She turns and leaves
I notice her shapely legs so ****.
I want to say Honey please don’t go.
But bite my lip.

My daughter has a new
tattoo on her shoulder.
And wears Goth like makeup.
My God! What’s happening?
I am cringing
at the miserable time ahead.

Teenagers don't care about anything.
I don’t think we have anything
left in common anymore.
She ate nothing at supper

I go to bed early.
She hears me weeping softly
in the dark.
She comes into my room.
Saying nothing.
She cradled my head
to her small breast.
And kissed my forehead gently.

Then softly she whispered
"Its ok dad,
you are going to be just fine
You have me.
and I will always love you"
That was the moment when
my heart stopped breaking

Fathers and Daughters

Fathers And Daughters
A Story Poem
By Jude Kyrie

My tiny flat is old and dark.
All I got in the split
looks out of place.
She took most everything.
I do not care she can have it.

The only thing I wanted from her
was her love and my daughter.
She has taken both of these things
to another man’s house now.

She drops my teenage daughter off .
for my weekend.
She looks reluctant,
giving me her disinterested look.
but realizes she will have to stay.

My wife looks well and very beautiful
I close my eyes for a moment.
Remembering her long hair
falling on my bare chest
in our bed as we made love.
She turns and leaves
I notice her shapely legs so ****.
I want to say Honey please don’t go.
But bite my lip.

My daughter has a new
tattoo on her shoulder.
And wears Goth like makeup.
My God! What’s happening?
I am cringing
at the miserable time ahead.

Teenagers don't care about anything.
I don’t think we have anything
left in common anymore.
She ate nothing at supper

I go to bed early.
She hears me weeping softly
in the dark.
She comes into my room.
Saying nothing.
She cradled my head
to her small breast.
And kissed my forehead gently.

Then softly she whispered
"Its ok dad,
you are going to be just fine
You have me.
and I will always love you"
That was the moment when
my heart stopped breaking.

All the worlds a stage.
so let's Rob it....

Jesse James

I have a fear
that one day
you see the real me.
Made of tender flesh
and brittle bones.
And you will leave
me for another.
Who is made of  muscle
and solid structure.

+She was sick that I knew
Being caught between boyhood and manhood did not make me blind.
They cut my hair off tonight honey
It's ok mom you are still the most beautiful woman in the world.
You are such a charmer honey
The girls are going to love you.
I only want you to love me mom
Only you.
Everyone noticed I could not sleep anymore
Want to talk about anything the school nurse said.
No maam I said.
Then the nightmares
The tree huge and everlasting tree outside my bedroom window.
It walked when I fell asleep
It's fingers like twigs pulled me from my bed
It lifted me to its roaring mouth.
Fires glowed within
I am not afraid I said
But I just don't know how  much I was afraid.
You are going to share your deepest
Fears it roared.
But still I kept silent not showing him anything.
No fwar.

.Mom I need to sleep with you
I take her her meds
Just for five minutes honey
I feel so sick sweetie
Your Ok mom
You will get better
Your hair will.
Grow again.
Call your dad yes in LA
I know with the sister I never met
And the lady I dont want to know
Shssssss it's OK
I'll
Then he came again made of roots and leaves and twigs
He picked me up like a Bird in the next

Tell me your truth he roared
I have none I wailed.
But I did.....I did

Grandma called she was as cold as ice
Some things never change.
You need to come to my place she said
Got there it was full of China figurines
I am going to the hospital don't touch anything
But the tree monster came again
I was so angry smashed all of grandma's stuff.
She Arrives back  home the place is wrecked
She does not give me the licking I deserved.
Instead I heard her weeping in her bed.

The monster came again that might
It's time for your pain tell me it said.
I don't have pain I lied
Tell me or you will be crushed by my limbs it threatened.
I ....I.....I want to tell her to let go
But that's my fear
It would be my fault you see.
What do I do?
You tell the truth the monster said
Only the truth.
I got back to grandma's place.
I looked at her
She kind of looked like mom.....But older
I just got a call from the hospice she said
We have to hurry
We got to go there?
At the railroad tracks we were stopped. By a freight train
Grandma said
We are very different people you and me.
I said I know grandma
But we are going to have to get along
I said I know grandma.
She said of course you do.

We got to the hospital
The nurse was soleom
Go right in it OK.
She was dying I knew it.
Mom held my hand
I felt the monster behind me
It whispered in my ear
I am here with you.
What do I do
I said
Tell the truth of the ages since time began.
The one that comes from the inside of your heart.

I sqoze her hand tight
I said
It's OK mom
It's OK to go.
I will be ok .
I promise.
I remember the last movement of my mother hand
.It faded softly
Unlike my memories of her love.

But when we got back to grandma's place.
I cried and grandma held me to her breast.
I said I am so sorry grandma
For breaking your stuff
She pulled me closer
I know honey
It doesn't matter.
Yo are all that matters now.
I love you honey.
I said softly I love you too grandma.

FEELING SUNLIGHT.

I ache to feel safe
In the warmth of your hands
And to close my eyes
While your voice fills my ears.

I need to feel safe
In the warmth of your heart
And to close my eyes
While your presence fills my life.

I want to feel safe
Along the stormy
Uncharted waters
With no other in view
Knowing you will guide me
To safe harbor

I ache to feel safe
In the warmth of your love.

I am desire
White smooth skin
Red lips
Crevices and hills
moist with passion.

I am food and wine.
Drink my nectar
Eat my fruits.
Dine on my passion

I am silk
Slide into me
With soft smoothness
Accentuate my femininity.
Submit to my needs?

I am a bubble
floatIng in sunlight.
Coalless with me
expand us to just a single entity.
Not knowing where
You end and I begin.

Fertility

The purity of wild rain
I want to feel it
on my naked body.
Stood in reflection of you.
Of the last night hours
mystical memories
that hang from the sky
like gossemer webs.
You consumed me as a rare fruit.
Tasting me like a nectar of heaven
Send your lightning to this rain
fire my passions once more
in its blast of limitless power.
Arise in me my manhood.
let me see you naked
in perfect feminine form
let me submit to your
sweet release.
And in the golden rays
of autumns bounty.
Let us harvest the seeds
of forever
and sow them
again and again
in fertile spring fields.

Cover me with beauty my love.
build me a pool of beautiful words
drown me in your poetry
drown me in your art
paint pictures on my skin
quieten the morning
with beautiful music.
whisper sounds of love
and bury them in my heart.
Dance me through
children and laughter.
Fill the room with smiles
and I shall open
a barrel of contentment
and spill it's contents
all over our home.

wrap me in your poems
feed me with words of silk
quench my throat with dreams
as pure as ice cold milk.

dance me  in. your verses
full of love's sweet  song
sing to me your chorus
and dream me all night long

fill my life with laughter
fill my heart with love
fill my house with children
and blessings from up above.

I just read some poetry
in a big collection of real poets.
I was living in a fools paradise.
I thought I was getting better.
After three long years slogging
out one piece of crap after the other.
I have decided
if you read a poem
you feed your soul for one day.
if you write a poem
you sentence your soul
to a lifetime
of self doubt and frustration.

I remember you when mom died grandpa.
I was so small and frightened.
You took me to your home.
I remember your unshaven face and
brown hard working hands Grandpa.
you fixed everything with your hands.
But you fixed me with your love.

you gave me mom's old room.
You told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there.
When she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not
believe in heaven Grandpa.
You said it's alright I will one day.
Heaven was a different
place for everyone.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms Grandpa.
it was always so safe.

I never told you Grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma were my heaven.

I know you have gone
now to your heaven.
Sat in a kitchen up there
eating food from the old country.
Grandma at the stove
mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe
before the war.

My heaven was
with you all grandpa.
I think I will
change my heaven
to yours after all.
That's all I want Grandpa
just our heaven.

I only wish
there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you .

All My Love
Jude

Final Separation

We meet in the old café.
Breaking the silence with shy hellos.
My eyes are welled with tears.
Flooding to the brim but held back.
You must not see me cry not tonight.
This is where we first met
so very long ago.
Now we meet to see
if our separation should stay.
I know you want your freedom back.
I know I have stolen it from you.
But I go along with this meeting.
I have an overwhelming desire
To hold you and kiss you
begging you to stay with me.
I am still so in love with you.
So much in love.
But I know you have been
counting the moments
since getting here to leave.
You tell me that we can’t separate,
that you cannot leave me.
You say I am everything
you need in this life.
I know its you being gentle
i know its not true.
Then you leave anyway.
I hear your footsteps
clicking on the pavement
as you hurry away.
They are faster and faster
like my heartbeat.
Until a silence falls over the room.
Like it has over my new life without you.

Those who know don't tell.
Those who tell don't know.*

Jude

sometimes I sit alone in our floral garden.
We have travelled so very far together.
The large pretty home and expensive
cars in the driveway attest to our success.
But my thoughts drift back to the start of us.
fFnishing college together
making love in our bare
of furnishings single room.
We dined at our picnic table
Slept on an inflatable matrass.
Ate frozen pizza and drank cheap wine.
made love as the moon bloomed its light
through our undraped window.
talked the night away after *******.
I remember thinking how much I loved you
How I would never be able to get enough of you.
I would give everything we have today
to go back there with you my love.
for without knowing it
we had everything back then.

She kept a list of her lovers
in her desk drawer
the one that locked.
The one that held her secrets.

The list totaled seventeen.
Not bad she rationalised.
For a forty year old woman
divorced for three years.

she had watched tv dramas
women in her position
had barhopped to fifty lovers
in a year.
but not her.

They ranged from
lovers she needed
lovers she wanted
to lovers who
could not pass from
one night to the other.

But the new neighbor
was different.
he had a daughter
twelve or so.
She had dropped a bag
of groceries the
eggs splatterered
he held her close
saying shushhh honey
its ok.
kissing her hair
Keeping her safe
and comforted.

Her ex never did that.
An hour later he appeared
with two more
bags of grocery.

That night She felt him watching
her slip into her pool.
She felt his eyes on her.
He appeared with
a bottle of wine.
Can I join you he asked?
As he took his clothes off
and sat in the pool.
Only if you dont take this
the wrong way she smiled.

He slipped naked
in the blue water.
He looked fit and tanned.
As he slipped out of the water
he looked into her eyes
and said you have
beautiful breast.

Blushing she closed her robe.
Do you get lonely he asked.?
Yes sometimes.
I do too he whispered.
Are you lonely now
Yes she said.

three years later

They laughed as
their little baby girl
joined the other children
in the pool.

Swimming for the first time
her new baby laughed.
She looked at him holding
the child so safe,
He was so safe so warm.
So much what she needed.

He reached for her hand.
she felt his solid grip.
I love you my sweetheart
he said.
she smiled
and said back
not as much as I love you honey.

As he picked up their litte girl
she joined in
I love you too
daddy she whispered.

As a tear of joy
flowed softly
down her face.

I did not believe in love.
only in movies and romance novels.
I thought I was broken
all the love parts needing replacement.
then she happened
I kissed her
and said I needed her.
she taught me the difference
between making love
and being ******.
I could not remember
what making love was like.
she said I was sweet
like the honey from the bee.
she opened my chest
lifted the broken ribs
tended to my Wounded heart.
it was flowing blood again
no longer hard like leather.
but soft and pliable.
this ******* was her gift
and now when I say
I love you so much honey.
tears of joy flow down my face.

.Do you remember honey?
So many years ago now.
I was lost and you found me.
You said I had sad eyes
And took me in and
cleaned me up
You gave me a home.
I thought how
beautiful you were.
And wondered what
on earth you ever saw in me.
But you said I had a kind heart.
Why you married me
I will never know.
You said because I was gentle
and would never hurt you.
I said I felt like I was in heaven.
You said heaven is a
different place for everyone.
Well after all this time
I can say I found my heaven
It was with you
and the kids my love.
You fixing something
about t!he house.
Me with our children in a circle
telling them about
when you found me.
If there’s another heaven
waiting somewhere.
I don’t want it love.
It can wait awhile.
I want to stay here
in my heaven with you.

I remember you when mom died grandpa.
I was so small and frightened.
You took me to your home.
I remember your unshaven face and
brown hard working hands Grandpa.
you fixed everything with your hands.
But you fixed me with your love.

you gave me mom's old room.
You told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there.
When she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not
believe in heaven Grandpa.
You said it's alright I will one day.
Heaven was a different
place for everyone.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms Grandpa.
it was always so safe.

I never told you Grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma were my heaven.

I know you have gone
now to your heaven.
Sat in a kitchen up there
eating food from the old country.
Grandma at the stove
mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe
before the war.

My heaven was
with you all grandpa.
I think I will
change my heaven
to yours after all.
That's all I want Grandpa
just our heaven.

I only wish
there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you .

All My Love
Jude

The curve of the rising sun
slipped silently over the
edge of the earth.
bringing the first
magical rays of sun.
like the beginning
a new day had begun.
The rays fell upon
the lakes wavelets.
sparkling like
countless diamonds.

The sunlight lifted me
to the seashore.
even the gulls and seaspray
whispered the voice
of my true love
yet to be found.
She whispers to me
soon so soon my love.
A flock of seagulls
lifted me upon graceful
thermals.
I could see you
on a distant shore.
I exchanged hearts with you.
the words I love you.
Fell from my tongue.
The day ended
a new one begun.
Our love peeked
over the horizon
just like the sun.

The drinking had started again.
At first she locked the door at night.
And I slept in the car.
Then finally
she threw me out.
It was not her
I know it was my fault.
I know I was lost
More lost than hope.
More lost than my job.
I remember waking up in the
drunk tank
I lay in the stench of human despair.
She was on the other side of the bars.
So clean so beautiful so lovely.
I got a vision flash by my eyes
of making love to her
In our clean bed.
I felt ashamed
at what I had become.
I needed a shower
A shave but living rough
Is a hard way to choose.
She paid my bail and
we stood outside
on the concrete steps.
She lifted a lock of my hair
off my forehead gently.
I looked into her beautiful face.
I always loved you
she whispered
I still do.
I half mumbled back
I love you too.
Tears filled her eyes
You know
I lost our son as well.
I felt my own tears
Ready to flow again..
I turned away into the bright
morning sunlight
Seeking the signpost
for a town called Oblivion

Alone and empty of soul
it has been far too long
since flowers bloomed
in my heart.
the ache for love
excitement and romance.
has become a roar.
I have found you my love.
You were waiting
for all the same things
anď now in the spangled
starlight that pours down.
I face the heavens.
And my deflated soul
is filled to the brim
with stardust.

Returning is a damaged thing.
Ghost of my past are everywhere.
Thinking once that home was immortal,
but we walked on diverging pathways.
Myself as a young man wandering
from humble village life to the wide world.
the village aging in its own decay.
Shattered windows with no one left.
How vast the distance between us
on our divergent paths.

How mortal we both are the old village and I.
Now older grey and mellow my blood flowing
cooler through my veins almost ready to return
to the soil.
As one day I must.
The houses and streets tired now in decay.
weeds growing in their dilapidation.
Roofs covered in brown lichen moss.

Echoes remain of the
children’s joy in far off years.
My thoughts turn to my boyhood.
I must now turn away
and find a quiet place
to add my ashes to the clay.
As I leave the two empty swings remain
hanging from a tree branch.
creak as they oscillate with the breeze
I see a ghost of a young child laughing
I think it is me.

In the night the skies on fire
A billion stars in eternity's pyre.
I want to lie beneath their glow
To hear their voices far below.
I want to stay here for forever
For my glitterball friend's
Will leave me never.

I had never been in love before
so he was my first
they say you never forget your first
I know only this to be true for me.
I am dying  its OK we all are dying
it's just I know it will be sooner for me.
we met at the group councelling
for people cursed with the big C
he looked so fit and well
I was just entering remission
for the third time.
I knew the reaper was just
waiting around the corner.
he kept looking at me
smiling with a mischievous face.
they asked what are you most afraid of
most people said dying
it's scary right.
but he said
of leaving no proof he existed.
he picked me up outside
his smile infectious and beatiful
I almost thought about the future
for the first time in forever.
I can still see my mother
saying let go honey its OK
when the last attack came.
but he was like a whirlwind
he picked me up and we flew
from Kansas to OZ
I tried to hold back from him
I did not want to hurt him
by dying just as we fell in love.
but he was relentless in his pursuit
we made love and I was hooked
he was smitten I know.
he made me forget about big C
he made me feel beautiful
the pain went away
I was just a woman in love
like any young woman.
we took a trip to the islands
it was the best time of my young life.
then as we watched the sun fall into
a magenta sunset miracle.
he told me that he  had an
MRI and lit the room up with cancer.
he died three months later.
And my world was a darker place.
I was told my disease was clear
not a sign of cancer anywhere.
you are in complete remission
young lady the doctor said.
but the pain had only moved
to my heart.
But for sure he got his wish.
he left a mark on this world
that will last until the day I die.

When we met that first time.
I fell in love at first sight of you.
You had answered my posting
On the dating site.
You said you had answered because
I had written my heart
Is empty it needs filling with love.
Then you showed me your heart
It was so full of love
it was ready to burst open.
I drank and drank the
love from your heart.
and it was so good.
You told me it was like new.
It’s previous owner
Had hardly used it at all.

I had been kissed before this night.
But only by the mandolin winds of the sea,
made tender by the rains of heaven.
I called in prayer to the mighty sea
and stood in the pouring springtime rains.
Their kisses falling like promises.

You came to me
I wish no more for such heavenly kisses
and now I do not need them.
You have me here now where kisses
are of my body with passions of fire.
I prayed in grace for your kiss on my mouth
to bring this fulfillment to my need.

I am but yours and you are mine
Attached by our hearts in loves mystery
What was spiritual is now of my flesh
And my flesh belongs to you

I am standing close to you
For the first time in your
private space.
I can taste your aura
Fragrant with the bouquet
of flowers.
My own self defenses
falling one after the other.
Words are locked inside
like my thoughts.
Emotions are alight
You step even closer
The redness of your lips
Bringing your breath to me.
As we share our first kiss
All my cares are floating
away into the light breeze
like dandelion seeds.

Today I am sitting in the church
it is first of May.
It is pungent with the fragrances
Of flowers blossoms and incense.
All the children are taking their
First communion.
I tell myself I am coming just to see them.
So beautiful with time an uncharted sea
lay before them.
Full of romance and adventure.
full of life's joys.

the idea is fine but
I tell myself
that but I know it is a lie.
I came here to stop the wailing of
The monsters in my chest.
To find peace where only
thier Innocent purity exist.
I want to return to the child I was
Before I had
broken my body and spirit
with the storms of half of a lifetime.
To return to simple things
and my childhood innocence.
To repair the damage to my soul.
Perhaps looking forward again
to a uncharted future.
But I know it cannot be so.
That war is over
The battle fought and lost
and some battles
can never be won.

Fishing off Puffin Island as a boy
By Jude Kyrie

I remember back to my boyhood
it was a different place in time.
The little aluminum fishing boat.
Its ancient Johnson outboard motor.
leaving a wake splitting the calm Irish sea
off the coast of Anglesey in North Wales.
My grandfather lived his retirement
years out in the small fishing village.
We reach Puffin Island
a deserted rock of land full of nesting puffins
The anchor tossed over into the deep waters
of the Irish sea.
We dropped our lines in the water and waited.
The heavy lines tripple baited in anticipation
of a healthy dinner catch.
The schools of Mackerel
attacked  our bait
We were tired of pulling them into the boat.
My grandfather slitting the bellies
and cleaning them throwing the guts
back into the sea that bred them.
Hungry fish clamored for the feed.
nothing left for waste.
I held a spluttering Storm light
to pierce the blackness of the night.
My fear of a giant shark
attack filled my young heart.
we packed our catch and the propeller
creating a phosphorous wake behind us.
I marveled at the multitudes of species
below my feet.
And at the untamed violence and beauty of life
that we all shared on this wonderful planet.
And then back into darkness.
The total black darkness.

It was more than a lifetime ago,
I was just 17 back then
across the distant faded years.
Amost 50 years to be exact.

The jungle is forgiving
no matter how the war had torn it
and poisoned it,
with agent Orange
fertilized it
with the blood of so many young men.
It recovered as resilient
as a spring in the hardware store
resuming its original shape
as though nothing had ever been there.

I am an old man now
far from the blush of my youth spent here
but I need to be here before my time is passed.
I could feel it calling me in the nightbirds song.
In the summer rainstorms.
And mostly when the thunder cracked the air.

I find the clearing where it happened
And close my eyes almost in prayer.

And I know I canfeel them
here again with me,
all of them.

We are all so young,so handsome
so full of life and possibilities.
We are passing round  a doobie
I take a long deep drag of the ****
my head calms down.
I see my girl my mother and sister.
But they are a lifetime removed.

A feeling for my buddies overtakes me
perhaps it was the marijuana
maybe it's just plain love,
Yes, I think it was love.

I shout, I love you man
to my best buddy Joe.
He shouts back
not as much as I love you man,

Soldiers get closer than wives
and girlfriends
we touch where it counts
where all the chips fall.
Where blood spills
And promises are kept.
It's real love
not that  ****** holywood crap.

I keep my eyes closed
I feel Joe close by me.
I know now
why I made this journey .
Why I was here
pulling the scabs of old wounds
letting them bleed again.

I see the tracer lights
of the gunfire in the clearing.
I see Joe fall mortally  wounded.
guys were dying all around me.
They were not calling for god
they cried like children
Their last cry for their mother..

I hold Joe in my my arms
He is dying.
His blood soaks my shirt.
Tears fall from my young eye's.
It's a vision
that is etched into my soul.
his last words are
I love you man.

I open my eyes
It now again the noise
has stopped in my head.
The clearing is. ghostly silent
except for the ceasless
chirping of the jungle.

My mouth whispers softly.
Capturing all that was left of me.
Not as much as I love you man.

The man was distraught.
that she could clearly see.
The pretty young doctor
sat quietly behind her desk
as the man explained
his systems to her. In detail.

you see doctor
i **** all the time.
i mean wherever I am
In church at the movies
on a date in my office
everywhere
I have no control over the farts

he was almost weeping.
but be said there is one blessing.
they are silent and do not smell.
in fact I just dropped one now.
doctor. You have to help me.

she nodded in sympathy.
look it's fixable she said reassuringly .
take two of these pills
four times a day with food.
and come back to see me in a week.

five days later the man returned
in an awful state,totally distraught.
*** *** *** he wept.
whats the matter she asked.

those pills you gave me made it worse.
when I **** now it stenches
like a stagnant swamp.
You got to help me.

The young woman
smiled and said that's great.
we have fixed your nose.
now.
Lets work on those ears.

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Ellen’s like a daisy
Jenny’s like a rose
Mary is like a dahlia
colorful and smart
But Angels like a lily
the nicest flower that grows
The lilies sweet white flowers
Just like the purest heart.

Three girls in my garden
I count them one two three
But only one a lily
And she’s the one for me

Sam is like a hollyhock
She stands so proud and tall
May is like a sweet pea
That grows upon the wall
Jane is like a gardenia
Calm and fair of face
But she is not a lily
And can’t cause
my heart to race

But my Angel she’s a lily
And the fairest of them all
One day I will marry her
when we are tall not small.

Hear the pitter patter
Of feet rushing on the stairs
Rushing here and rushing there
Going only God knows where.

Sublime youth has feet that are nimble
Old Aged feet creep instead
One off to dance lives excitement
The other off to bed

Life is a huge long stairway
A long and winding stair
Forever rushing up and down it
Going God knows where

Death is forever
Perhaps life is a dream
The prize we savor
Is the place in-between.

Loss is forevers
But everything dies
Even the moon
In indigo skies

So stay with me now
Take hold of my hand
Kiss me me for always
In our magic land