She hit me hard with that smile
I hung around her for a while
I heard danger in the cold winds wails
Leave her alone she’s hard as nails
We drank together until my last brew
We stuck together like superglue
But she left me and went to you
Left me broken black and blue
I found her again in a ******* bar
She opened old memories in my jar
She fed me ***** we went to bed
I don’t remember your name she said.
I ran away its what I do
My heart was stained forever blue.
I put a nickel in the phone
Don’t call her number
I am better alone
So I jump another freight car ride.
But always forever blue inside.

Over treetops over flowers
Over gardens, over bowers
Through the brambles and the hedgerow
Over rivers over lakes I go
You may find me anywhere
Quicker than lightning in the night air
My mistress is the Fairy Queen
I place her dewdrops on all that’s green
The wildflowers are her sentries tall
I must place crystal spheres upon them all
Every flower in this fair land
Must adorn her orbs placed by my hand
Aster cornflower bluebell scented stock
Figwort goatsbeard horsetail and flock
All catch the sunlight from my queen’s dewdrops

When My time has gone
look into the clear night sky.
Find a star that has no name
and give it mine.

Then you will know
I am still here
never forsaking you.
You all were the brightness
of my life shining from
childhood to adults
seeking my hand
to guide you through
the rapids of life.

When I am gone
look each night at my star
I will shine down on you
Twinkling like the life
in my eyes.

Until you join me
once again
in the great forever

When My time has gone
and my light on earth has faded.
look into the clear night sky.
Find a star that has no name
and give it mine.

Then you will know
I am still here
always with you
never forsaking you.

You all were the brightness
of my life shining from
childhood to adults
seeking my hand
to guide you through
the dangers of the rapids of life.

When I am gone my children
look each night at my star
I will shine down on you
Twinkling like the life
in my eyes.

Forever awaiting
Until you join me
once again
in the great forever.

When My time here has faded
look up into the clear night sky.
Find a star that has no name
and give it mine.
Then you will know
I am still here
never forsaking you.
You all were the brightness
of my life shining from
childhood to adults.
Seeking my hand
to guide you through
the rapids of life.
When I am gone
look each night at my star
I will shine my light
down onto you.
Twinkling like the life
in my eyes.
Until you join me
once again
in the great forever.

Once more I am writing poems
to the spirits that haunt my heart.
The ones that wail at my bones
beneath my skin.
Let all this darkness flow in my ink.
Pouring itself onto paper like blue veins.
Letting light back inside
make me whole again.
Its three in the morning
I am digging in the ruins of my heart.
Unearthing old broken memories.
Once you collected all the stars
In the milky way and
pressed them into my hands.
To guide you through
the darkness of life you said.
How could I not stop the gods
from taking you.
The one who could collect stars.
When you left I folded my heart
into a love letter.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to eternity.
I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains,
So I write to them one more time.
As the dying embers of your stars
fade one by one.

For me you are perfection.
Unwittingly you fill all of
my open spaces.
Your arms fold about me
as I sleep in wonder.
In darkness
the thought of you
pours stardust on my life.
I am your food
eat me
I am your wine
drink me.

The shadows fall like spiders webs.
The time now an aberration.
Pulling me into dark shadows.
I reach to touch the beauty of youth
But it slips from my fingers as sand
the harder I grip
The faster it flows away.
I do not like this world of shadows
That has forsaken me.
And to whom
I meant so little..

I know it's doomed
she will leave me.
it's only a matter of time.
I once gave her
all the stars in
the milky way.
Pressed them
into her hands.
and whispered
to guide you through
the darkness of life.
follow their pure light
with me my love.
But it is not enough
her heart needs
new adventures.
it will try to settle with me.
but just as a a sailers death
is woven into his sweaters
by his lover.
She will try to settle down
But her heart refuses
to unpack its bags.

Fractured Genders
Jude writing as a woman

I was probably 14.
That awkward age of self-discovery.
For a girl and perhaps also for a boy.
I guess confused.
I guess troubled.

In my daydreams, I always saw myself
as a boy.
A strong virile boy.
Saving  beautiful princesses from
prison towers.
Fighting dragons
With only a sword.
A smaller skinnier version of Xena.

That's when I asked myself the biggie.
Am I a lesbian?
Do I want to be a man.?
I dated and kissed teenage boys.
The more i kissed
The less of a lesbian
i would become right?.

At college, I kissed a girl for the first time.
It was not what I expected.
Her face soft and lipstick was fire red.
She drowned me
with the smell of gardenias.
Where was the stubble
the smell of sweat
The faint taste of stale tobacco.

Then I met him
He was beautiful and toned.
So gentle he made  me cry.
We hit it off right away.
He fixed up the small apartment i had.
He placed flowers in every room.
Washed and ironed my clothes.
For my birthday
he baked me a chocolate cake.

I lay next to him in bed
I wanted to tear his shorts off
But he would not let me.
I am not ready he said softly.

After a while I became
the daydream power  boy again.
Would you rather date boys i asked ?
In an effort to break the ice

He looked at me with his
beautiful gray eyes like ice.
I have never met one
that I like enough, he said softly.
Well do you think we could
find you one together?
My ivory tower prince  needed rescuing.
Well he said softly
I am rather in love
with you right now
If that's ok with you.

That night we made love.
I fell for him so deeply.
And I became the sort of
a power figure in the relationship.

I wore sweats and jeans cargo shorts and
He did not care.
We made love every night.
And I knew we had both
got fractured genders.

But we were in love
And love does not care
about genders or
how differently
it is expressed.

It is just love
And love always
takes
Exactly what it wants
From all of us.

9Fragments


I awoke early this morning
the house was beyond quiet
more like silent.
That's when I noticed
the letter on the table.

You told me our
time was over.
You needed space
to find yourself.

I burned your letter
in the ashtray
the one you never
let me use.
Then when it cooled
I ground the
ashes into dust.
staining my hands grey.

In the end
you left your mark
on my hands.
The letter destroyed
the anger released.
but I still cannot
remove you
from my heart

I see you in the music we loved
i hear your laugh
like wind-chimes in the wind
Sometimes from behind
I see you walking
in front of me.
But it is only someone
who has your figure

I pray to be able
to burn my
memories of you.
Like how I burned your letter.
Turn memories of you
to ash then grey dust.
to dissipate
in the next rainstorm.
never to be thought of again.
like you did with me
when you left.

Twilight is a time for perfumes .
The bed is covered with petals
of the night blooming Jasmine.
Its heady elusive fragrances
are calling to you.
only to you.

Come to me again my love.
Your skin bathed in pomegranate
Mine in wild roses.
The nectar of honey
will be our aphrodisiac.

The light cooling
ocean breezes
Will drift into our life
through a welcoming window.
Collecting scents from the
blooming petals
of our night gardens.

Mixing them with
the alchemy of love.
Intoxicating our senses.
Love will mingle
all of our fragrances.
Into a single perfume
that will be ours forever.

FRIENDS, AND LOVERS
Can you not feel it?
The warm sun filled glow
between us.
You say to me
You are my best friend
Even after we have made tove.

Can you not see it?
The thick fog between us
has lifted leaving a hazy mist..
I need you to stop saying
We are just friends.
you know how many times
we have crossed that line.

Can you not understand.?
I ache to hold you close
each time we meet..
that the colors are brighter.
The air is softer.
And the angel I keep hidden
Inside my heart
comes out and folds
her wings about us.

Can you not believe?
We are best friends
Just like you say we are.
Best friends.
who have progressed
Into lifelong lovers.

From a distance
By
Jude Kyrie

*I always loved you
but only from a distance
I knew you could mend me
with all my broken parts.
I knew you could fix me
like brand new.
But I also knew
you would leave me.
leaving me broken
in a million pieces.
Your heart was filled with
thunderstorms and tempest
that became quietened
in your spirit.
leaving you with breath
like gentle spring rain
rain that fell over me relentlessly.
I thought I was made of rock
but rock does not feel pain.

I sit here, writing love poems for. you
on the dark side of the moon.
its silence  is a muse to me
But I will come back home  to you soon.

Looking out into the vastness of space.
it's hard to understand
how many trillion stars exist.
more than every grain of sand.

Looking down upon the earth below
Now just a spinning speck in the sky
I can see our tiny house
Where we shall live until we die.

Together we exist there within our tiny life
But we are so happy you and I.
Out here all the spangled stars
are so lonely it makes me cry.

For we two are man and wife
Two tiny little specks that love
And the warmth of you fills my heart
Even from so very far above

Maybe we don't count for much
In the universe of time and space.
But all its wonders that I have seen
Will pale,
when I come home again
and see your face.

I am sitting writing poems to you
on the dark side of the moon
The quietness is a muse to me
But I will come back to you soon

Looking out into vast space
it's hard to understand
how many trillion stars exist
more than every grain of sand

Looking down upon the earth below
just a spinning speck in the sky
Then I see our tiny house
Where we will live until we die

Together we live our tiny life
But we are happy you and I.
Out here all the spangled stars
are so lonesome it makes me cry

But we are man and wife
Two little specks that love
And the warmth of you fills my heart
Even from so far above

Maybe we don't count for much
In the universe of time and space
But all its wonders that I have seen
Will pale when I come home
and see your face.

I am sure she thinks I am stupid.
Yet she relies on reflections in mirrors
and faded photographs.
To tell her the truth
Instead of believing me.
I think my eyes
should know best of all
that she is the most
beautiful woman in the world.
Since I am the man who adores her

Tonight the softness of the air
touches my skin gently.
Like once your fingertips did.
The air blooms
with moonlight and Jasmine.
A breeze touches the flowers
one by one
Roses Dahlias Carnations
night stock and Gardenia.
Ahh Gardenia your favorite.

I close my eyes
in my mind my senses
bring you here to me.
You are wearing the gown
that once we were married in.
Your lips so red
and eyes so inviting.

I touch you long flowing hair
I can feel the softness of you
even in my mind.
You reach up and
unfasten the ribbons
that hold it.

it flows like a storm
over my bare chest.
Outside I can hear
the ****** of your laughter
like a sweet night song.

But it is only the
windchimes
that you loved.
bringing me back
to the empty heart
That only you could fill.

She did not cry.
perhaps that was the odd thing.
I saw the two soldiers at her front door.
one with a chaplains uniform.
Her son was on active duty
in the Marines.
I knew at once
what the bad news would be.

I remember It was late springtime
and all through the days that year
I could see her
working non stop in her garden.
Trimming,transplanting, weeding.
until the evening light dimmed
Into darkness.

I have never seen such
An abundance of beauty.
Flowers and shrubs a color scape
a complete mass of bloom.
The snipping of her pruning shears
never ceasing
like a cicada in August.

Lantern shaped blossoms
cascaded down in multitudes
from the flowering trees.
Like the tears
she could not cry.

Geese in flight

Driving through the night
into the morning the miles melt.
Before the edge of the horizon
morning clouds are forming.
Shiny as quicksilver they change
shape like mercury spilt on the floor.
A flock of Canada geese fly in V formation
I am driving to share
the final breaths of my mother
and sadness has my soul.

They are as a sign to rest my blues
they fly free and well
full of life’s natural order.

They are saying its alright
don’t be blue all is well
life will go on.
Fly to your place in the world
Fly like us.
We are following the plan that we need.

My breath is taken for a moment.
My eyes straining to follow them,
A silhouette they  into the sunlight,
As I Fly Into my life.

I am broken
love has done it
how can something
so tender and beautiful
hurt so much?
yet I seek relief
from this pain
by looking
for love again.
I need to feel the
gentle hands
of a woman I trust.

.
*Getting over you

I have put myself on a plan
To purge you from my life.
I washed your sweater today.
The one I stole when you left me.
It has been under my pillow
Since that day.
But I must move on.

Yet  already I miss the perfume of you.
The smell of morning mist.
Like that day in the springtime
When you kissed me and whispered
Softly almost shyly I love you honey
.
I deleted your playlist this morning
Full of your hipster music.
But all day your favorite tune
Has stuck in my head
it will not fade away.

My mother called to see
how I am getting along without you.
I told her I had found a new lady
How beautiful she was
How her smile was like sunshine.
And her softness made me cry.
It was a sweet untruth.
But she said
It sounded a lot like you.

I will be over you completely
in a few more weeks
when the spring arrives.
But then I should never
Think of spring.
Because that would surely
break my heart in two.

These are the gifts
I wish for you my love.
Soft feathered nights
that whisper gentle dreams
as you sleep.
Bright summer mornings
where the dewdrops
sparkle like diamonds
on a garden
of flowers.
A down soft heart
that opens its doors
for you to abide.
A sweet song of love
that plays gently
in your head all day
And to share all these gifts
with me forever.

Ghost

I kept the Ghost away from me
Outside the kitchen door
But someone left it open
There haunting me once more

I wish I knew just what they want
Instead of wailing in my head
Find someone else to haunt
Leave me peaceful in my bed

Sometimes I know the face of them
Its someone I once knew
Theres women and their children
And once one looked just like you
I know I did them wrong someday
But I don't know where or when

I know I have my dues to pay
And they will haunt me until then
I thought the ghost were  all outside
But now i've spilt the milk
They have always been in me
hiding In my guilt

I know you must feel me
Breathing as you work at your desk
The conversations we had before
Must be in your mind as I am near to you.
I think I am haunting you
Yet I find no light to go to
Only my world that is you
How can it be that I can see you so clearly
Yet to you I bring not a wisp of vapor
or slightest of sound
At night I am next to you on our bed
Not a indentation or ruffling of sheets
Can you feel my kiss on your sleeping lips
Or my heart quicken
as I feel your arm cover me
I was not afraid to leave the world
Just afraid to leave you
Perhaps that is why
I am trapped in this limbo.
Trapped and a prisoner that is forgotten
Afraid that by moving away I will fade
Into nothingness like a smoke ring.

Ghost of lover's past


*At night the ghost of  lost love calls
in the lonely darkness.
where all I see are echoes and memories.
They are haunting me again.
It was waiting in a large bundle
outside the front door.
Too big to get inside yet
it found its way in through
a gap below the doorway.
This growing mound of
love shattered pieces is
breaking me into wreckage.
Does it have no pity?
Can it not see
I have no more pain to give.
yet even in my loss and despair
its consuming gravity of this entity
pulls my love drained soul
towards it one more time.
I can hear my sobbing in its heart.
And once again I know
the torments of losing you.

Give and take

When we met.
You said you wanted me.
You took me
and all I could give.
You see the
difference between us
Was I said.
I would give anything to keep you
And I did
And you took it all away.

You are a common thief.
if he was an object
and not a man
you would go to jail.

I watch from above
you have quenched his fire
he flickers like a dying candle.
He pours black pain
into bowl called despair.
you have crippled him with
your selfish abuse.

Give him back to me
let him heal in my glow.
let me bathe his wounds
and let him come back.

How a ***** like you
can utter the word love.
and keep my wild beast
chained I do not know.

Bring him home
let me give him
Back his ferule spirit.
Even if I have to
set him free
to run again
in the wilds.

I want to leave this
dreary cruel world behind.
Day by day
giving up another part
of its monuments.
Already I have lost its moon
Tonight the stars will fade one by one.
No more the pure white of its soul
as snow falls over meadow and dell.
Its purple blazed hills
in the desert distance
will fade into grassless plains.
For the world has given up on me
It has taken my mother and father
My brother and sister even my lover.
I now give it myself
Cell by cell of my body
It takes them in silence.
Like the scattered leaves
From an autumn tree
In the wind.
Leaving only a skeleton
of its summer beauty.
I now lie looking at the fading sky
As the world takes yet
another part of me.
Flowing its late autumn
sunshine nuzzling at my neck
with its tender warmth.
As if to try to make things
right between us.

glances

*I saw you looking at me
It was like you could see inside me.
So deep all my scars and secrets
could not hide from your eyes.
You showed a half smile
enough to say
I could heal your wounds
tend to your scars.
You could be safe with me.
I think I could love you
Like you always needed
Like you have never
been loved before.
I raised my eyes
And looked into yours
And I knew
I could love you more than that.

You left me here broken
smashed into pieces..
I need  fixing to glue
the  broken  pieces
of me back together.
Piece by blooded piece
glue the bits in place.
This glue called
distance and time
really seems like it works.
If you look at me now.
I seem to be as good as new.
except for this small
bag of bits and pieces.
try as I may
they will not stay
glued .
it is my heart.

Going Back  Home
A Poem
By
Jude Kyrie

The ghosts are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is now a haunted place
Yet it will always  be home.

The small English town with
lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.

Between the faded
Old-fashioned shops
On either side.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
The school steps
Like a soul returning to heaven.

I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think this one is me.

Going Home

The ghost are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is a haunted place
Yet it will always be home.
The small English town
Lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.
Between the faded
Old fashioned shops
On either side.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
The school steps
Like a soul returning to heaven.
I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think it is me

Going home is a melancholy journey.
Thousands of miles over oceans.
Back into the warm  
Autumn morning of Englands countryside.
This is the old country farmhouse we were all brought up in.
My mother me my siblings.
The warmth of the late Indian summer day
steam shadows over the old orchard.
The old house is full of ghost
walking around its lichen-covered stone.
I can see my mother sat in the shade
a basket of fruit in her lap.
Awaiting her oven and pastry dough.
The apples have fallen now.
The garden a wild place with raspberry brambles
black Currants and gooseberries
Gripping each other in a tangled fury.
As hard as we once held onto each other
So long ago.
The drone of the feeding bees
Have a happy sound of plenty.
The grapes ****** dry of their sweetness.
Their overloaded bodies filled with nectar.
The only intrusion a pair of dragonflies
Bouncing In carefree harmony in the scented air.
I pick up the bushel basket
that mom used to collect her fruit.
I hold it close to my heart.
And see her smiling again.
In the corner a small scruffy boy
with an even scruffier dog
eats an over-ripe  pear.
From the littered ground under the tree.
It is only another ghost
But I think it is me.

The ghost are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is a haunted place
yet it will always be home.
The small English town
Lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.
Between the faded
old fashioned shops
on either side of the street.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
the village school steps.
Like a soul returning to heaven.
I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think it is me.

The ghost are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is a haunted place
Yet it will always  be home.
The small English town
Lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.
Between the faded
Old fashioned shops
On either side.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
The school steps
Like a soul returning to heaven.
I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think it is me.

Gone Girl
A Poem
BY
Jude Kyrie

I still feel your fingers
slipping away from mine.
Like the grains of sand
that escape from your hand
No matter how hard you hold.
I can still see the thoughts
Of me that once
lived in your mind now
spilling onto the floor
and dying in the sunlight.
I still feel you dropping
my heart on the ground.
Watching it shatter like
a crystal glass.
I still feel the approaching
afterlife without you.
Whispering a tiny comfort
In the cold breezes of loss.
Promising to me
that love will call again.

Gone Girl

I can feel your fingers
slipping away from mine.
Like the grains of sand
that escape from my grip
No matter how hard I hold.

I can  see your thoughts
of me that once
lived in your heart now
spilling onto the floor
and dying in the sunlight.

I feel you dropping
my heart on the ground.
Watching it shatter like
a crystal glass.

I can feel the approaching
afterlife without you.
Whispering a tiny comfort
In the cold breezes of loss.

Promising me
that one day
love will call again

it's been a month
since he packed his bags
and crawled away from me
like a coward.
I know I am wild
drink too much
fight too much
with a penchant for
wine and ****.
He went straight
to her soft breast
and perky hairdo.
her June cleaver pearls.
I hate him.
he owes me my battle of fire.
the blood stains of a final fight.
the war to end all wars.
instead he absolves his sins
by confessing to me like a priest.

Goodbye Again

The door clicked quietly shut
through the bedroom window
I can see her
Leaving me once more.
Even the morning mist
made her fade softly
before she had
reached the corner.
She will come back
She has a hundred times.
I will take her back.
I always do.
perhaps niether of us
can move on
quiet as we should.
when will we ever learn
that we should not
look for love
in the place where it has died

1975 30Th April
the end of the Vietnam War

The flight back from Vietnam was crowded and long.
The offensive has failed the war was over for some.
It took four days to get to the small hospital
In the old New England town.
The endless war far behind him.
He was at last a minute away
from his beloved Catherine.
He met the Nurse in the hallway.
How is she he asked?
Her seasoned eyes looked at the floor
she shook her head.
And the baby he whispered?
Again her head shook.
The words just too sad to speak.
Catherine was pale and weak.
Upon seeing him she managed
a smile upon his arrival.
Her beautiful smile
That had stolen his heart
So long ago now..

Oh darling, I am going to die.
Don’t let me die.
Hold me in your arms!
Hold me tight.
Don’t let me go.
When you hold me
we cannot be parted
If you stay with me
I shall not be afraid.
As she left him
The bells tolled from the
old white clapboard tower
of the church.
To celebrate the end of the war
for some.
He carried her lifeless body
to the window.
It was a beautiful spring day.
Overlooking the square
The townsfolk had gathered
And we’re singing Amazing grace.
Someone released two white doves
The glided past the window
As if to take her soul to heaven.
He kissed her still lips
For one last time.
And whispered to her.
Peace at last my love.

The graveyard was melting.
in the shadows of nightfall.
Darkness and death
are my fear my kryptonite.
Yet I opened and walked
into the iron gates as they
creaked  like old bones.

I needed to find you
I know you lived here now.
I could feel our friendship
still calling me as always.
In all the darkness I saw a light
a small  flickering flame.
It was on your headstone.
I knew it was yours.
Your mother had lit a candle
for you today.

I knelt down
and kissed the
granite headstone
with your name.
Not in prayer
it was too late for that.
Only whispering
“Hello my old friend”
quietly so no other ghost
can hear me.
I tossed on a playlist
on my phone
from the old days.
And sat dowin for
a chat like always.

Remember we were almost thirteen
We got detention for refusing to
Stop wearing black everything.
and even  wearing black lipstick?
We knew were special then
more than just girlfriends
More than sisters
we were us forever.

We learned how
to drink cheap wine.
Get drunk together
and get over hangovers.
You taught me to smoke ****
until I was green and sick.
Remember college
we got out of that boring
Home town
with a single traffic light.
We danced partied
and learned ***?
Experimented with drugs
it was crazyville.

I don’t know how we survived.
You were filled with hidden sickness
I was to the brim crazy.
But we did.
We always did.

at twenty two we got better?
You moved away and I went home.
I heard you married a woman.
Why did you never tell me
you were gay?
I would have married you
in a heartbeat.

I called you to get together
for a reunion.
Bring your sweet wife I said?
But you were already
starting to leave this world.
I met a friend  in a  coffee shop
the other day.
She told me you were gone
I asked gone where?
She looked at the floor just GONE.
So here I am sweetie
Here I am.

Do you remember
anything that day?
Except the sudden chest pain
The lack of oxygen.
Did you remember me?
Was I your last goodbye.

That’s when my tears happened
Wetting the granite stone.
I sob to you.
You know I always have loved you.
And it’s just not the same in crazyville
without you my best friend.

As if in answer to me
The moon peeped from behind a cloud.
And shone onto us in a beam.
I kissed her grave farewell
And walked alone into the darkness.

Goodbye Mr. Chips

England 1920

I’m well in my eighties now you see
The life of a school master was for me
Brookfield School is where I have been
A private school for the sons of Englishmen

I was a young man when I first came here
For years a stodgy boring bachelors life
Then in my middle age I met my darling wife
She brought me joy my heart’s desire
Having tea and scones beside our fire

She had the faculty eating from her hand
She got me noticed and life was grand
I became the head of these hallowed halls
A part of Brookfield like the walls

The boys all loved her she had such grace
As well as having the most pretty face
I think I was the happiest man on earth
Then I lost her as she was giving birth

All alone at Brookfield in my pain
Never to take a wife again
Then the war, the four horsemen rode once more
A war like nothing we had seen before
All my old students fought for the King
After Sunday chapel as hymns we would sing
I would read my boys names who gave everything

The war it stayed for several years
My eyes burned with the salty tears
To see my boys grown into young men
Dead in battle never to come home again

But the war ended and we survived
The sons of the fathers came to Brookfield alive
My years went by until I retired
Now I lie on my bed, my time expired

I hear them talking, outside my Door
Old Chips is Dying, it’s such a shame
He had no children to continue his name
But that’s not true.
I had a thousand little joys
And they were all my Brookfield boys

goodbye my love

Today i am sitting quietly
my phone turned off
to embrace purest silence.
No more friends calling
Subdued voices saying in oblique
tones,
have you heard?h
Yes i have heard.
Bad news travels with wings.
She is gone passed away.
The one i once loved.
I see visions of when we were us.
Sheltered from spring rains
Beneath the maple trees.
The sweet arias of songbirds.
As we kissed the raindrops
falling into our eyes.
Were spring mornings
ever as sweet again.?
I always loved the
fragrance of her.
The softness of her hair,
Even though we parted
You always stayed in mind.
Bringing comfort to me
You were always my constant.
Comforting and warm.
My go to place for warmth.
What can i do now?
How can i manage without you.
A shower of soft rain
falls into my eyes
or
it may be my tears

goodbyes
Its early morning
My lips whisper a last goodbye.
I kiss the teardrops from your eyes
You ask me why.
This is how it ends my love
Just as the snows of winter
melt in springtime.
As the glorious blossoms
of spring must fall like rain.
Like the river must end in the sea
All things fall into beauty
Just to fall apart.
But know this my love.
Even though this is so.
I love you
Oh! How I love you.

In beautiful sunlight with clear azure sky
not a cloud in sight,
just your beauty
falling from your pen like a clear crisp rain.
Reading again and again your emotions
melting my heart
bringing me so close to you.
Though I knew then we would never meet.
I should have known,
drinking my cloudy coffee,
reading your poetry
knowing how  it came from a dark place.
Too dark to let in the light
even in its shining abundance of summer.

If only I could have reached you
looked into your beautiful face.
Told you how much the world needed you
and your words, that would outlast your time.

To have touched your cheek
and wiped away your invisible tears.
The ones trapped inside
that could not flow.

Instead this world
was too much for you to bear.
Breathing the dank fumes
of coal gas in a London flat
You took your gifts with you
leaving only memories in your poems.

You were born in the heavens
and fell from a star.
Yet when you landed here Sylvia
you shattered
Into a thousand pieces
like a beautiful Crystal Vase.
And even with the passing
of the creeping years.
I still miss you

Nam never left me
It was in my hair.
In my skin.
Like chemicals
you can’t wash off.
At night it sits next to me
as I watch TV.
Even in sleep
It is in my nightmares
Always red always fearful.
Even after all these years
From teenager to old man
It sits at the bottom of my
Bed holding my pills.
But I never look into its eyes.

Grandpa

*Grandpa is in his
Second year of dementia
He has not recognized Grandma
for over a year.
but in the summer
for the past three months
he has come in from the garden
holding a small bouquet of flowers
cut from the flower beds he loved.
He falls on one knee
before grandma and says softly
you are the most beautiful
woman I have ever seen
please run away with me
and become my wife.
she touches his silvered hair
softly and whispers
I am your wife honey.
It's a delight to see his
old lost face light up
as the biggest smile
covers it.