Chest thighten, heart poundin', every time I think of you. Your heart, your goofy smile, things I love, things I desire.

Biological fathers are something
I don't know of,
I knew him once,
But he threw a wrench I'm my trust,
Listen up because this is a must.

I walked on through,
No one had a clue,
I put on my greatest show just for you,
When you looked at me,
Through those judgy eyes,
Always wondering why?

Look at her she's gross,
Ewww, no don't touch me,
You might give me a white trash cootie!
You never even stopped to think,
Maybe she might be hurting?

Smile on my face,
Joy in my voice,
Radiating this feeling of love,
Don't you see I'm a better actor,
Then the ones in the movies.

Deep inside,
Hidden by all your eyes,
Lies my undeniable,
Feeling of wanting to die.

I was young and so lovable,
I didn't know my father,
Could be so diabolical.

It happened once,
You know it will happen again,
I was so small and fragile,
I didn't wanna let him in.

I loved him,
He was my dad,
So why was he doing this to me?

Tear soaked pillows,
Puffy eyes,
I didn't know what to do,
So I hid behind tremendous lies.

I felt ashamed,
And *****,
I needed to hide.
I felt like I had a sign on my forehead,
That said,
I'm weak please don't show any pity.

You always looked at me,
With your  judgmental eyes,
You never took the time to wonder why?

You pushed,
You shoved,
You tore me down,
You didn't even stop and think,
Is this damaging?

I'm fine thanks for asking,
He's gone,I'm done with all my hurting.

You were so close, I could of reached out and touched you, in that moment, I couldn't, I know.

All I could do is stare, look up at those sad beautiful eyes, filled with love, loss, and sorrow.

I wanted to touch you, hold you, tell you everything would be alright.
But I couldn't, and it tore me, I guess its good, that there's an end in sight.

Im 19, there's a new baby,
Not mine my mothers,
Can she handle this baby, maybe,
I doubt it she smothers,
She cuts, she cries, she makes all of this unbearable.
This new baby she’s mine, at least that’s how it seems,
With all the cutting and crying there’s no room for a baby so tiny,
I can’t handle all of this pressure I’m only 19!

One night I lay my head down to sleep the night away,
I wake up a few hours later to the sound of heavy breathing,
I open my eyes and all I could see was my father blinding me,
He was on top of me,
Twisting me,
Turning me,
Thrashing me around,
It hurt me to see him moving up and down,
  I tried to shove him off but he was to strong,
Tears rolled down my cheeks as the pain went on,
I tried to scream but I could not,
He shoved a sock down my throat so deep to the point that I almost could not breath,
  But then it happened I felt it too,
His ***** was in me he better just **** me now,
Cause my teen years are going to be hell,
Pregnant with my father’s baby my life is over now,
He will be in jail,
I will be in therapy,
My baby will be messed up,
All because my father is a sick ****!