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 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
R
saved by a shooting star
just the way i knew i would be
who knew what God had in store for me?
for someone that could not praise him healthily?
saved by the true king,
was blind but now i can see
for the brightness of the star
showed me or father
and let me into the fullness of his glory.
saved by God,
he showed me my weaknesses and everything that
i am to become and all that i
ever will be.
he is the true teacher
and i yearn to know what he has in store for me.
please, God. let me live the life you want me to.
and i beg of you to forgive my sins
for i will pay them for all eternity if i have too,
just so i can be able to know your glory.
 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
R
Untitled
 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
R
i am reading about black holes
and how they are a possibility to
explore another dimension
or to use them to travel in time.
but, all i can think about
is the black hole i call my heart.
i found God through a shooting star,
but what about now?
my eyes can see clearer than they ever could,
and i am scared to know that maybe
when i look into your eyes on Monday
that i wasn't ever in love with you.
i have never doubted in a day
that i have never loved you.
but, the thought is too much to bear now.
i saw the sun but couldnt see the pain
i was blinded by the hurt
and tortured by the pain
and dear, dear God,
i am so scared
because if it is all fiction then
i do not ever think
i will be able to forgive myself nor
the black hole i call my heart.
 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
bc
Let me be your cigarette
I want you to hold me softly between your fingers
I want your smooth lips to work wonders upon my skin
I want you to breathe me in
I want to be the one to calm you when you're upset
I want to be the thing you live off of and feed off of
Let me be your cigarette, please
I want to feel needed because all my life I have been the second choice
Give me your love and affection
I want your adoration
I want your lips
I want the way your brown eyes light up when you smile
I want your little dimple that appears on the right side of your face when ever you smirk
I want the way you catch a football ever so gently between your hands
I want the way your laugh is so loud and contagious
I want the way that just your presence alone can make me feel amazing
I want you
I want all of you
Because I love you and you are everything to me
Even though I am nothing to you

-b.c.
It ***** loving someone who doesnt love you back.
If people were flowers
you would be a forget-me-not,
and you would be put into pretty glass vases,
and watered each day,
and admired by everyone who looked at you.

If people were flowers
I would be a dandelion;
perhaps a flower in some eyes,
but a **** in most,
and children will pluck me from the ground
and ******* into the air
and make wishes on me
that will never come true,
and I will only be watered
from the **** killer
that pours upon me
like acid rain,
and I will only be admired
by the sad-eyed children
with the unfulfilled wishes.
 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
R
a real man
 Feb 2014 Josh Murphy
R
i cant call this love
i know its... sort of complicated.
i can tell that it is for you.
one second you say im young
then the next you call me beautiful?
maybe i just take things in the wrong context.
but those blue eyes of yours really get me
and that silly smile you have on your face... god...
i just... i dont know. id never trespass your comfort zone
but i just keep thinking of the embraces we shared
and that kiss on the top of my head
i want you to remember me and love me
and maybe just turning that kiss from the top of my head
to down to my lips, and to love every second of it.
just once, please, one day let me lean in and
taste a real mans lips.
 Jan 2014 Josh Murphy
Hello Haley
Just a blank page I'm staring at.
Just a blank page.
I wonder what it can do once the words come out.
What will it do?
Can you relate to the feeling?
As the thoughts keep reeling.
It's just a blank page you're looking at.
But think...
How else do all masterpieces start?
 Jan 2014 Josh Murphy
Fel
Hey honey
I know I may not know you very well
But I care.
I know what happened to you
It's been plastered all over the news
I know what the ******* did
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you had to lose your mother.
I'm sorry your family has been torn apart.
That **** just ain't right.
And I don't know what it's like
The inside looking out
But on the outside looking in
I hope your mother rests easy
And your step-father burns eternally.
And I just want you to know:
If you need ANYTHING,
Come by, please.
We may not know eachother very well
But well enough to talk.
Please, don't be silent
I need your words
You need to vocalize
And if you're not ready
That's fine too
But I'm always here
And don't ever forget
You have a wonderful family here
With 300 of us,
We got you.
Just talk with any of us
I promise you
We will listen, we will care.
We love you.
Don't be silent.

1/28/14
So I wrote this poem (or rather thoughts, whatever) to a boy I've known since middle school. Recently (and I mean like, on Monday recently) he lost his mother and step-father. His parents had been fighting, and his step-dad pulled a shotgun on his mother, killed her, and then overdosed on some drug. This is a completely terrible, traumatizing incident, and yet the boy still showed up to school today. I heard about this from a couple friends in band (who had heard from our director) because the boy is also in band.
I don't know if he'll ever read this, and I don't know how to try to console him, but this is the best way I could find. I just wanted to let him know (if he ever does end up reading this) that he is not alone and I am here. And that, the whole band really, is there. And that we all love him, as simply a human being.

That is all.
 Jan 2014 Josh Murphy
Hello Haley
How can you fight a war so blindly?
Only to open your eyes to the destruction you've caused.
You know what you did was wrong.
But your words say otherwise.
You don't know how to fix it,
But you won't ask for help.
So you sit in misery with a smile on your face
Waiting for someone to see the pain in your eyes.
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