i always wanted support
but now that i have it,
i think i prefer disappointment.

What do you do when you know you messed up?
When trying isn't enough, knowing it doesn't matter how much you try to love.
Though you push and shove, thinking it started out as fun, and you find now you are pointing something at yourself - a gun.
How did it come to this and why can't I go back?
They say ignorance is bliss- A fact?
I cannot accept that.
Service is why I was put on this earth, and now I feel lower than the dirt after hurting someone I care about: someone I miss seeing around.
I want to climb a mountain and scream out loud, "I'm sorry _" and tumble down.
You deserve much better than this.
You will be missed.
Take care and know, I will always be there.