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jo march Oct 2020
I haven’t had a pen for so long
I’m trying to scribble
Words I cannot form
Feelings I cannot recognize
Faces I cannot remember
My mind is on a lockdown
Trust me I’m trying
I just can’t untangle the chain
That’s keeping me from
Making something
Out of nothing
jo march Dec 2020
I went to a high school reunion party
Saw this girl who used to be so famous among guys
And saw this guy who used to be bullied for his hair
I also saw some old friends
One works at a publishing house
She swears she's quitting the next day
The other works at a resto
And complains about her customers
I am succesful (?)
As what they say
Because I have a job
And I seem to not have any complains
After some good glass of wine
I felt like I went to the wrong reunion party
I don't know anyone
Maybe it was the wine
As I don't drink unless it's water
My old friends aren't talking to me
I went to the door
Ready to leave the room
Bumped into people
I really went to the wrong party
Because I made these all up in my head
While reading the invitation by mail
I don't go to parties
You
jo march Sep 2019
You
You pointed out my flaws
As if I'm not aware of them
Laugh at me when I'm down
Pinning me hard to this muddy ground

My whole life
I wanted you to be happy
I don't know about you
Maybe this makes you happy

I'm crawling, in this muddy ground
Crying, hurting, waiting
For a sound, a hand, a smile
From you
But you didn't come

I've fallen and stood up
For quite a hundred times
Yet you only show up
When I have the spotlight

This isn't a stage drama
You don't have to show off your tears
When people are watching you
And applauding you

There aren't behind the scenes
Because if there were
You could've been part of it
You can't

After some time
I learned one thing
I've been holding on to people
Who have already let me go

I'm trying to stop writing sad poems
Especially if it's because of you
But you always make me want to
Because this is my only way

I see you everyday
Waving like a homecoming queen
At people you probably think
Are on your side

I can't make a statement about you
Not even the bad ones
I don't wanna use my mouth
To say your name
Because my heart's too broken
To even think of you

But here I am
Writing this
Not for you
But about you
jo march Oct 2015
at 12 and 37
you stumble through
a picture,
a picture of grief,
pain, sorrow, and death

at the same hour
they bumped into:
piles of joy, screams,
wild heart,
perfect timings

how are things possible?
in the blink of an eye,
it's there and then,
it's gone

you are broken,
you are healed,
you are relieved,
and you should be lucky.
i wrote this at exactly 12:37 PM inside our classroom. I grabbed a face/****** tissue in my bag because I haven't brought any paper with me. That was after our pilgrimage. I was so tired and stressed for the final exams the following week. I should be lucky despite being tired.

— The End —