Hi my name is Brian Allan
I am 21 years old and I have been kidnapped by a gang of thugs who were interested in taking money off people and my hands are tied together with very strong duct tape but I still can text this but I am finding it hard and with me is my best friend Patrick Enright who also is 21 years old, he is very scared, so scared in fact he doesn’t want to speak because he is afraid he will be murdered by these thugs, at the moment I think we are in this thugs basement with the door padlocked shut, and we have my 10 year old neighbour Brendan Schulz who was playing with his roller blades when me and Patrick were being abducted and because Brendan saw us being dragged into the car the thugs chased Brendan down the road and when Brendan fell down on the road and skinned his knee, the thugs got out of the car and took brendan’s roller blades off and threw them in the nearest garden and tied Brendan up with me and Patrick and now we are in this basement we have no idea of what is going on outside and we can’t speak to each other because the duct tape is tightly around our mouths
Patrick is very scared and said to me to say that he is still alive and don’t stop looking and Brendan said the same thing and then the kidnapper brought some food for us but we had to eat it like dogs because he only took the tape off our mouths and Kept it on the rest of the body just in case their was no funny business because he knows what young dudes like us are like, we will thank him for the meal and then run after stomping on his foot, well he didn’t want to take any chances and that made me and Patrick and Brendan very scared for our safety, we are thinking we are going to die or something and after we finished eating like dogs, the kidnapper came back and duct taped our mouths so we can’t speak or scream or anything else and we were bored because all 3 of us are young and being captured isn’t very much fun
HELP US

I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of arguing with each other
They sing songs to make each other laugh
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of seeing people sitting
On the grass in a public pathway
Have them sit in a homeless shelter eating a very nice meal
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of just having boring events that only idiots like
How about bring the exciting things back like Christmas tree lighting ceremonies etc etc
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of people being big rich ******
They should try and figure out ways to help the less fortunate
I wish Canberra would be cool
Instead of people trying to save every tree, support something cool like the light rail and see the value of it in the future
I wish Canberra would be cool
In these times of covid 19
Instead of thinking I wish it was over
They try and figure out what they can do to keep people being cool
I wish Canberra would be cool
They should help support the holidays that makes everyone happy like Halloween instead of just supporting things to make number 1 happy like bake sales
I wish Canberra would be cool
Well they do put on
Music festivals
Christmas carols
New Year’s Eve shows
Park festivals
Family fun days
Sporting events
Christmas tree lighting ceremonies
Art shows
Big concerts by the worlds biggest bands
Street parties
I wish Canberra would be cool
And I think Canberra has been showing signs of being cool
We need to be patient

When a old friend says
The allans aren’t like us
You could say this
We aren’t getting robbed
We aren’t getting bashed
We love life
We sing on the computer with all the dead spirits
We aren’t getting scammed
Nobody can scam the Allan’s
We just say no we are different
To those fools who say
The allans aren’t like us
We don’t fall into traps
When we go out
People are scared to to confront us
We know how to handle cyber bullies
Our relationships turn out well
Even if we aren’t in relationships
We still watch family shows, vlogs, and really good movies
We don’t commit crimes much
Like the evil man that is saying
The allans aren’t like us
We work in jobs and we never get bullied, never get bullied
Yes when they say
The allans aren’t like us
It saying that nothing bad
Is happening to the allans
Cool man eat my shorts

It’s the last day of winter, mate
Celebrate with a drink
The flowers are growing now
In time for the season of spring
The sun is shining
Ready for 3 months till summer
But spring is the season
That brings the gardens to life
Don’t forget to party mate
In your backyard with a wine and then
You talk about the flowers and trees
Oh yeah oh yeah that sounds so cool
This winter was a bit weird
Because of covid 19
It just seemed to go so quickly mate
But who gives a ****
Floriade won’t be on in
It’s usual spot
Except they will have gardens all over
The city
To bring the magic of spring
We are waiting for Halloween
For us it is spring
In America it is fall
But it is good no matter wherever it is
Cool, man it is
You get to see daffodils and roses
And many many more
As they bloom tomorrow onwards
On the last day of winter yeah
The eve of spring
Oh yeah

Little young dude
Sitting there being scared of the world
Trying to love life
But he is getting bullied oh yeah mate yeah
You see this dude just sitting there
With his knife making people
Too scared to walk there
Even if it is daytime mate
He will still just sit there
Wondering why people are too busy for him
You see if he gets bored with his knife
He will read a book about evil
Till it is time to go home
But he is in no rush
He just sits there thinking about
Where his life as gone
But he is a little young dude
I say I wanna help him
Understand that the worlds a good place
Little young dude
You are so lonely
I wish you had a friend
I would be your friend
But you might use me
And dominate my apartment
And I will be the hated guy in town

I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
Cause they act so silly
Putting dresses on washing machines
And singing stupid jingles too
Like making a ballad out of happy little vegemites, sounds so fucken lame
Getting married so young
Even if their babies are cute
They have them at 17, too young
I think adds a terrible
You see when they advertise
Life insurance boating camping fishing and they have fathers who are into that kind of thing but not many
Are into that add, so dumb
People who were fighting over toilet paper and other groceries at the start of the pendemic how fucken stupid
Yes I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids who do adds just to pay the rent
They don’t realise that the thing they advertise something only the rich can buy
You see people are showing their old fogies legs as their Hormones is erecting their ***** and the might of their ****** is ******* all day long
People only like people who are doing ****** things and if they don’t they are dumb why can’t people be respected doing family friendly activities
That would be for me
I am playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids
And I am happy

Hi everybody I am Briano alliano
And today I have a few poems and jingles for you
Here they are

I love to party up here on Saturn
Enjoying life, mate pretty ****** cool
I drink methane smoothies
And I really really enjoy it yeah
And I have a few fly burgers to share
They are good enough to eat
Eat eat eat
They are such a tasty treat
Treat treat treat
Covid can be annoying
I wish it would go away
Just imagine no afl grand final
In Melbourne that will be a shame
But we must be fucken careful
Oh yeah mate oh yeah
John Howard is in hospital
How long will he be there for
Well some say it is payback
For all the problems he caused the poor
Hey hey baby oh yeah
We must party on oh yeah
Get down to the ground yeah
Everyone party oh yeah mate
We must party oh yeah
And never stop

Our next song is c’mon Aussie c’mon Aussie c’mon
The virus is causing problems for the afl
And keeping out of Victoria will be a shame
Politicians arguing with each other
Like they normally do yeah
Even Barnaby Joyce has to say his piece
Yes an Aussie killed his victims in Christchurch but there is a lot of hurt
Well, he is the biggest **** you ever see
Yes c’mon Aussie c’mon oh yeah
C’mon Aussie c’mon
We must stay in Australia but what happens if you don’t
You end up getting hemeroids up the ***
And then footballers breaking covid 19 laws they just want to go somewhere to drink their beer
That is Australia for ya
Yes go home and your mama
Yes that is so cool yeseree
C’mon Aussie c’mon
Party on Aussie party
Just c’mon Aussie
C’mon oh yeah let’s crack open a beer
And PARTY

The next song is rock and roll devil

I am the devil incarnate
And his advocate
I tell the devil what to do
I stick up for him every day
I know a lot of people don’t believe in him
And a lot of people think he is evil yeah
But when you say you are the devil
You must think
About what your saying
Think about what you are doing
You must party all night
Some people call that the devils work
But that is a load of crap
Like a tree exploding sap
And the devil is told he doesn’t exist
So he brought out his bible
But that was burnt about 1500 years ago
And that is a sign he doesn’t exist
And that makes me the devils advocate to the Christians eyes

Thank you everyone
PARTY ON DUDES

Today will be an interesting day for John Becker, when he was asked by Jake to watch his son Samuel playing basketball for his local school and John was unsure if he really wanted to go but Chris said to him that he needs to go to be there for his friend Jake but John said he left us back then without asking us, and I am not his father so why do I need to go, I thought when I gave up being a doctor I gave up being there for people and Reggie and Chris and Margaret told him he is going and then Reggie said you like sports don’t you, John said yes, and Reggie said well, in the usual Reggie way and Margaret said you are going and so are we, mind you bob and hector wanted to go to see Samuel whip their backs and John said ok but I am not Wearing a tuxedo and bob said I still have the gravy boat you gave me because you missed our get together watching sport and John said ‘good to know’ and Reggie and Margaret said that was a gift for your ex wife’s wedding and you gave it to bob and John said I didn’t want to go right and I got to the station I met a man and he said he was watching the game, so I went home, I didn’t want to go anyway and Margaret said we helped you that day and you lied to us and John said what is the big deal it is in the past and Chris said forget it, let’s go to the court to watch Samuel play
And bob said yes this is going to be fun and hector said I quit my job to go on a road trip with all these people, sounds good and I quit my job to watch kids sport, interesting and bob said I am married but she hates the way I act when something goes wrong, so she refuses to have kids with me and the gang went to the school gym to watch Jakes son Samuel play and the game started and John yelled out as a tall man sat in front of him and he remembered the lousy time he had trying to watch lethal vision and Jake pointed out to Reggie that because of her, his girlfriend through his cane into the traffic and nearly killed him and Reggie said I wanted you to give me that spot for art history and Judy said, really is that what she did, how terrible for you Jake, well me and your kids will never do that to you and after this weird past conversation the tall man left after John coughed all over him and Chris said that wasn’t very nice of you was it, and John said, I had to do that, he was reminding me of the bad time I had that day and I was so stressed I accidentally left Jake in the movie theatre, it was hard
And Chris said really, how did he get home, the next day I rang him to see if he got home alright and he did and Samuel scores a great basket and feels very proud of himself and Judy said to Jake Samuel scored and Jake yelled out well done buddy and Kylie said dad can I have $15 for a hotdog and drink and Judy and Jake said’no’
You can have lunch when you get home and Kylie was starting to ***** saying Samuel gets what he wants all the time, and Jake and Judy said, when we go home you can choose between Mac and cheese and pizza and John said, welcome to the real world Jake and bob said yes that is the real world, blind, wife, kids, junior sports where have you been, we all were out partying and you, Jake were settling down, you even forgot about our planned trip away by aeroplane after Reggie left the diner and Jake said, yeah some trip, they didn’t have peanuts, so we bailed on it, and Reggie said I had to do what I needed to do and Chris said, I took over anyway and it was a rough time but don’t worry especially when I found out you slept with John and Jake said and he tried to hide it by going in the diner with padlock keeping it locked from the outside and then Chris said I threw water on his face but in my defence it wasn’t good and John said, do you want kids Chris and Chris said, maybe one day but it would be hard knowing how hard my parents coped with my sister and John said ok, we are on the same page and then after that conversation was over, Samuel scores the winning basket and Jake and Judy took them out for pizza and the gang went home to talk to each other about where their life was heading and Reggie met up with an old college roommate and they went out partying and Chris and John sat inside watching tv Margaret and hector and bob were remembering old times talking about their 6 years in the Bronx, and everyone was happy
Till next time

As he is trying to relax watching the nba on cable, Chris is annoying John by showing him all the garments she bought at the shopping centre and John said I am going now and Chris said where are you going and when John said he was going to Jakes, Chris be careful of his wife because I don’t think she approves of the people of her past and John said, Jake needs friends and if Judy can’t except that, too bad and then John went to Jakes and watched the nba and John said do you remember when I said give me your big screen tv and a big argument broke out between John and Jake and Samuel walked in and said daddy who is winning, Jake said home and Samuel said YES and Jake said to John I never gave you the tv and nothing has changed and John said yeah that was the past this is the present, now instead of watching **** you watch Sesame Street and maybe cool cartoons, John then said, you are cool now, Jake and then Jake said remember when you put too much sugar in my coffee but I am willing to forgive and forget, I am a family man, you seem to be the lonely doctor I knew you as and john said ***** you jake and Judy said if you are going to say swear words like that you can leave
Jakey isn’t the same man HD was back then he is a father now and meanwhile back in the hotel Linda rang Margaret up from LA talking about her relationship with another man she just met on the Hollywood sign and Margaret reminded her of when me someone on Valentine’s Day and they broke up on the same day and then Margaret said and today isn’t Valentine’s Day and Chris knocked on the door to model her clothes for hector and Margaret because John was too busy watching sport with Jake and meanwhile Judy said we are having dinner now Jake so your friend has to leave and John remembered Chris’s ex, when he pushed his way between them but said no after knowing Chris wasn’t impressed and John went to the local bar and saw bob there watching cable and said to him what are you doing in here, the bar Is a place for retired people or workers you are none of those and bob said remember when we hung around the diner and you invited me to be your super and John said no Linda did and bob said oh Linda how is she and John said in LA and bob said is her parents still alive and John said mother dead and father still alive but doesn’t spend time with her and John brought bob to be reunited with Chris and margaret and Chris and to meet hector and suddenly Chris decided to throw a pizza and coke party much to Johns dismay and everyone is happy and John was regretting his reuniting of bob when Chris asked bob to join the road trip and bob said fancy Jake being the only one to have kids and he’s blind and John said, I thought you would have kids now bob and they all went to sleep

Today former doctor John Becker was loving his life with Chris Connor even if they weren’t married or had kids but they always were very friendly with each other but one day John was getting voices in his head from all the people he yelled at when he was a doctor and John wanted to quit his job and go around the USA to escape his voices but Chris told him that if he did that he would regret it but John wasn’t wanting to listen to her because his head was going crazy
And later that day Reggie rang John saying that bob visited her saying he was happy about being at the hockey with him and hearing that made Reggie mad and she was yelling at John on the phone making John worried about where his life was heading hearing fake voices and getting old friends ringing him up upset with him and this made John want to visit his blind best friend jake in his new home in baltimore but when he rang him up jake said he was married with 2 kids and they know nothing about his old life and that is how Jake wanted to keep it.
John got very angry with jake saying I helped you a lot back in the early 2000s late 1990s and jake said yeah I know but you don’t understand this woman doesn’t understand anyone describing the people I was with back then and John said, come on give me a break I helped you now you can help me and jake said ok come to Baltimore but this isn’t a way to turn back the clock and John said goodbye and hung up the phone and said to Chris that he is going to Baltimore to visit jake and Chris started to get upset saying you just want to turn back the clock to back in Those days and John said I am hearing voices and I need to clear my head and Chris said how about I come with you it would be great to catch up and John said fine I guess and suddenly John planned to quit his job at the doctors office leaving Margaret and Linda who are still working there very much in dismay but after thinking about it Linda wanted to retire anyway and move to Los Angeles to meet a former boyfriend and Margaret was starting to feel lonely despite John not leaving yet because with Lewis dead she felt depressed and asked John and Chris if she can join their road trip much to Johns dismay but after saying no in usual John becker fashion he finally gave in and said I will pick you up tomorrow at 7 am and Chris said Margaret is lonely and depressed and could be too depressed for us but John said, she has been working for me for a long time now and she lost her husband and besides it would be good for Jake to see the old gang again and Chris went into the diner to ask hector if it will be alright if they close the diner or sell the diner and hector said well I was looking for somewhere to go in the future but why now and Chris said me and John and Margaret are going to visit Jake and his kids and hector said Jake has kids now, I would like to see him even if he can’t see me and Chris said maybe just let me John and Margaret go because you know johns car and hector said I will fly there where does he live and Chris said ‘Baltimore’ and hector I was always wanting to go there, so let’s go and I would like to see how the blind father is going anyway and when Chris told John that hector is going to fly there John did his usual Becker rage but after that he said ok as long as he doesn’t want a lift and John was suddenly hearing the voice of the journalist in the diner who accused him for being racist and he said ok let’s go to Baltimore and when they got to Baltimore after nearly crashing into a few cars who flipped him off they made it to Jakes house and Kylie who was 6 and Samuel who was 4 answered the door and Samuel said hi are you the angry man and after hearing that John was hearing the voice of Sandra who wrote that book referring him to the angry man and then Jake came in and said hi john
It has been a long time and then he heard Chris and margaret’s voices and said I didn’t expect a reunion and John said Chris is my friend, we live together and Margaret lost Lewis 2 years ago and hector is coming here soon by plane and Jake introduced his wife to his old friends and he said
Judy, this is my friends from the past and Judy said, hi Jake has told us so much about you, in that I say he told us nothing about you and Jake said there is one more coming by plane but it is good to have a reunion and Judy said maybe for you but not for me and John remembered his first dinner party with the gang when Chris and him first met and after that hector turned up and said, it is a pleasure to see you Jake unfortunately you can’t see me and Judy Samuel and Kylie went off to bed and Judy said I hope you guys have accomodation because this house is too small and John said I used to sleep on the couch in front of the tv
So I am fine but Judy said no find other accomodation and see you tomorrow or tonight for dinner, Jake said and at the end John and Chris were talking to each other loving seeing Jake and his new family for the first time and Margaret and hector were depressed together
Margaret because she misses Lewis
And I have no idea why hector is depressed but he wasn’t having *** so that could be the reason

I’ve been in Canberra for 40 long years
I had my fair share of friends and enemies oh yeah
A friend was doing tickle torture on me
Yes Canberra is home
I found the waterslide at Jamison was cool
But as I got older it became a fucken hole
No more pool parties no more
Yes Canberra is home
They had good movie theatres there
Like Electric shadows centre cinema and greater union oh yeah
Capitol in Manuka
Cosmopolitan in Woden
But now you still see them
But different names oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I went to see the cannons play basketball
It was fun and I got on tv
And I felt famous yeah
We drank coke and chips
And a pie by name
Yes Canberra is home
And cannons won a few titles yeah
I also went to the raiders matches
Even back in the days they played
In Queanbeyan yeah
An afternoon in the mighty struggletown
Watching the green machine play
Then the green machine played in Bruce
We don’t need to catch buses
We can just walk oh yeah
They won championships
They were the best
But from 1995 they lost their touch
Then in 2019 they got to their first
Grand final in a while
They played well but the ref
Robbed them of the match
To give the roosters their second
Premiership in a row
Yes Canberra is home
I am still here despite being mentally ill
I worked hard at north south and the rainbow oh yeah
Wasn’t getting much money
I just helped them out oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I started to work CPA
Where I worked hard at ainslie village
And actew and construction sites
I was getting paid $3 to 8-50 an hour oh yeah
Yes Canberra is home
I worked as a volunteer for the Belconnen magpies
I did the barbecue and I loved it for a while everyone was happy with me
Yes Canberra is home
I worked for vinnies in Belconnen oh yeah
When I was there I was more positive oh yeah
And I played Santa Claus at Christmas and I made the kids happy
Yes Canberra is home
Now every place in the world had
The coronavirus Canberra had very few cases but still needs to be careful oh yeah
But sport is still on without much crowd
But I still we still everyone still
Calls Canberra home

I hate professionalism
Adults, today are too professional
In everything they do
Like dancing, they have to be perfect
And singing, they say they can do it without cue cards
And hobbies, they only prefer the Rich Mans lifestyle like going to private parties and country clubs and expensive theatre shows
Adults today are too professional
They think kids variety nights are lame
Even if they have kids who perform in them
Adults are too professional
They only like going to the sports to sit in the corporate box instead of sitting in the stands, people who sit in the stands wish they were in the corporate box
If a poor man comes into an adults concert dressed in clothes that kids dress in they will be thrown out
Because adults are too professional
And unfortunately the only way to be an adult today is to be professional but there is nothing wrong with reading poems from cue cards
Or singing in the back as long as you have fun
That is what the world should be
FUN but adults are too professional
And say they have no time for fun
I like people having fun
But it’s hard to have fun in a professional adult world

The allans and the karlsons
Where very very close
The adults used to gather round
Playing Yahtzee while the kids played
In the rooms
I wasn’t into the games they played
So I just sat in their lounge room
Watching tv
There wasn’t much on till
Really late at night when they put the winners on
I wanted to watch it to see how each team played
But it only lasted for an hour mate
But still it was fun
The kids wanted me to play ****** in the dark but I don’t like that game
You know I hated darkness
I prefer the light
But I used to joke around with my dad
And I used to tease mr Karlson because he went for st kilda
Even though he was big on Swedish
Table tennis yeah cool man yeah mate yeah
We went to Melbourne
To watch the cricket and walk around Carltons home ground back then
I made a few jokes to make these families laugh
I remember they hung around the tv
On the night of the 1983 election
When Hawke beat fraser
That was the best day in the world
When labor took over the leadership
I know I was a tv fernatic
But I joked around with the kids
Just didn’t muck around running around outside the hotel room
Didn’t wanna get in trouble
I joked around making the kids laugh yes it was fun
But now we don’t see the karlsons
They moved to Adelaide
And our family acted as if they never wanted any of that even if they just wanted to move on

Lyle was a big tough guy
He used to be good at tackling
He used to listen to his fave music
Like air supply and hall and Oates
So cool
He liked to watch neighbours and home and away
He especially liked the *** and wedding scenes where he liked the kissing
We watched a lot of movies together
Like muppets take Manhattan
And witches of eastwick
And beetle juice and Star Wars
And a whole lot more
He got really sunburnt
Attempting to get the Newcastle tan
But he just got the Newcastle burn
He liked the albums I madd for him
From copying onto cassette
He liked going to the raiders matches
Where occasionally he got into fights
I was saying I don’t know this fellow
But we remained good friends
Mind you we had a few fights
That jeopardised the friendship
But it turned out well in the end
We were on the train
And Lyle went to the toilet
And because he was a big guy
He got stuck in the toilet
And as I was guiding him out
The whole carriage heard me
Which was very embarrassing for him
He bowled a fast one in the cricket
I could never hit his *****
And I think he was Douglas jardine
In his previous life oh yeah
We went to red tape and the singles party night
And we danced all night
And we played basketball
And when he stole the ball
And I wouldn’t stop defending him
We would break into a fight
He had this girl named Carla
Who was nice but she died when
We were 21
But she had a lovely singing voice
She is now miley Cyrus in her next life
Lyle was a funny fellow
And we had a lot of fun together

Police are bullies
Police are bullies
You see what they did to that lady
Who didn’t want to wear a mask
They tackled her like she murdered
Someone or something
I know it is the time of the coronavirus
But police have to learn that what they are doing is a form of bullying
Police are bullies
Police are bullies
I know I don’t know the whole story
But she was just refusing to wear a mask
Yes I find the police behaviour was dispickable totally unawesome dude
I know they should be wearing masks there because the virus is at a high
But jumping on her like she was a cold blooded killer for not wearing a mask
Isn’t right at all
It seems the police are using the virus
To be big bad bullies
And if people should take offense to this really understand this
They try and get the woman to wear a mask in a calm way and if they don’t
They just tell her nicely to do it
I don’t believe they tried to be nice
I just believe they are bullies
Big giant bullies
I feel for that poor young lady
Over a stupid ****** mask
It leaves me to just say
That policemen are bullies
Yes they are

**** happens
If you have a friend who goes through life in a negative way
**** happens
The prime minister you have ***** you around
**** happens
If your friend becomes jealous of you because nothing goes right for him when he didn’t do much to deserve it
**** happens
When you favourite sports team loses when the referee is cheating
**** happens
When you have a sister who always puts you down by calling you a negative hypercondriac
**** happens
when your dad doesn’t understand you even if you were working for 3 days a week
**** happens
When your hot water system explodes and nobody helps you straight away
**** happens
When they get rid of your favourite talk show for strange reasons
Just say just say
**** happens
Because there is nothing much you could do about it
**** **** ****
**** happens mate
Move on and get over it

My friends mother sue
Who killed herself last year
Tragic, well oh well she has finally been reborn into the fishfam YouTube vlogs
She told me she wanted to be
In a happy family where she gets plenty of love and attention
She re entered this planet
Just a few days ago
And now she is about to have fun
Hopefully she or now it is a he
Will do as many things as he can
Whether he plays sport
Of theatre or school or church choirs
Or maybe even march in a parade
You are going to have a wonderful
Life in fishfam and I hope
Your family respect you
And you won’t need to commit suicide
There is a lot of things in this great big world
The world doesn’t revolve around the family you departed from
So please enjoy your next current life
Hopefully you will have fun
I will say the song you sang on Jupiter as soon as you died
My name is sue
How do you do
I wanted to end my life
But whoever looks after me in my next life please make me have fun
My name is sue
How do you do
Thanks Johnny cash

Yeah man enjoy yourself
Is what Patrick said to me
He meant don’t worry about
What people think or say about you
Just enjoy yourself oh yeah
I do enjoy myself
Watching vlogs watching footy
Doing art
Making everyone happy, man
I want to enjoy myself oh yeah
Yeah man enjoy yourself
And be in the party mood
You need to enjoy yourself
Who cares what people think
Going to a outdoor festival concert
Dancing to the music oh yeah
Going to a New Year’s Eve party
And dance the dance floor gone
Going to the Tamworth country music festival or watching it at home on YouTube
Either way you still can enjoy yourself
Party on dudes get down
I know we are in tough times but
You can still enjoy yourself oh yeah
Even if this virus is wiping out the world think of the luck you have
Stay the **** at home
And party all flaming night
Listening to Sam and Sam
Travis Collins and concerts that were uploaded oh yeah
The best thing to do is enjoy yourself
And have a lot of fun
Don’t worry about the problems of the past
Just keep happy in a positive way
Everyone is enjoying themselves
On social media and so am I
Yeah man enjoy yourself have a lot of fun
Party party party
Get down and get off ya ***

Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
You see I took his powers
Which he said he had
You see I am showing
The universe how to party
And in the process
Take Daniels powers away
And when he kills himself
The forces of the universe
Will reach into his body
And take his negative powers away
Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
You see I am the man
Of the universe mate
I can’t control the world
And either can Daniel
So let me muck around up in the cosmos
Daniel lost his powers
His powers
His powers
Because he is a boring fellow
Never having fun
You see god took Daniels
Daniels oh Daniels
God took Daniels powers away
You see I wanted Daniel to build cities in Saturn he refused to
Saying he just wants to do it on earth
You see he masturbated over Chris bath and Natasha belling and Justine Schofield as well
He loved Elle macpherson
Yes he was *****
But because of his powers
He caused havoc for friends and family and if anyone ****** him off
He will put lines and grey hairs on their body
Daniel lost his powers
Powers oh powers
Yes he lost his powers
Because he knocked people over
And he knocked restaurants plates
I’m the floor man
When they did things to his food
Daniel lost his powers
Oh yeah let’s party mate

My friend is negative now
But his next life is not going to be negative
Even if he might not want to do anything
He will be doing something
He can’t expect a more perfect life
If he kills himself
Because I find it is totally stupid
To hang around a negative **** like that
No he is going to be great
He will be positive
He will have friends
He will do things he doesn’t want to do in this life
If he lives in New York
Even if he doesn’t want to
He will attempt to go on Broadway
And perform great
He will be the star of his city
If he lives in London
He will be a part of London city voices
And the New Year’s Day parade
If he lives in Amsterdam
He will be doing things like
Performances at school
Like concerts and choirs and plays
He will be doing theatre
To make him positive mate
I can’t do this in this life for him
But there is no way he is going to be LAZY
Even if he lives in the USA
He will try baseball
Even if his negative life finds it boring
If he lives in Australia
He will try AFL even if his negative life
Doesn’t like it
I would like him to live in New York
But there is no way his negative life
Will have a say what he does
He will try broadway
He will try baseball
He will try church
He will try basketball
He will try ice hockey
He will try water polo
Maybe an Olympic position could happen for him
I want the day he dies to be the end of his negative soul leaving
You will live with your family
I will make sure you are in a loving family
And a family that realises your next life’s full potential
If you get asked to perform in a parade you will do it and ignore your last life’s negative mind even if he hated that city
Because I don’t want this negative life to die to be a cat
No he needs to learn people are nice to each other
And yes make his next life’s family
Keep him away from the news
The source of his negativity
Help make his life good till he dies
To come back to be more positive

You see when I told my trainer that I was on drugs,well that is what he thought and what I was saying is
That if you feel like taking drugs
You write the problem in your brain out of you as opposed to taking them
Because taking drugs is wrong
You see I want to work
So I must take the negative energy from my brain and be positive about
Getting work
I must talk about working the 8 hour week and try and negotiate with the boss and if o can’t do that I negotiate with the people I see on the days where they want me to work
You see I don’t want to give up my art
And I don’t want to give up bowling
And I don’t want to tell him
That I am writing my problems out of me especially if I want them to help me find work
I need to answer the questions good
And professionally especially if I want to go to the next step in my life
I have to make myself look respectable
And I have to look well-groomed
I can’t slurl my speech
I need to be heard
I ain’t really into being like that
Well, I want to look nice
But if the job is a cleaner or a gardener I can’t see the point
But I don’t really want to be a gardener just a cleaner or bus boy
I do want to work
And I want to tell them I do art
But not if people are forcing me to
Sell it for profit at a low paid booth
No I do want to hold a solo exhibition
Where if I sold something it’ll be cool
But not at trash and treasure
My art is not my trash
I want to make good money for them
If I are to get rid of them
I have to be professional when I talk to the personnel group
Because I want to work

I am getting anxious
But that is because I think
The medication will completely
Cure me but I have adult feelings
I have worries
I have qualities
But my head is starting to open
And let our the slow me
The old and grey me
The mr who hates life
Is heading straight out the door
I know people here me seeing Daniel
But we have history together
We used to go to
Brumbies matches
Playing pool at the lighthouse Belconnen
Going to a university music festival
Sure Daniel walked in and out
While I danced to the groovy music
We went to the rainbow together
In fact we met there
He wanted me to go the circus
When I wasn’t really that interested
But I enjoyed doing that with him
We went to batemans bay
I bought an ice cream
He complained about a man
Who wore a hat like Garth brooks
We watched the Melbourne comedy festival together and we laughed
It was funny
We watched californicstion it was weird
We cooked pizza together
As well as order a pizza together
We watched sport
And he winged because they were changing the score of the opposition
We talked before I went to bed
He stayed on the internet all night
Checking the soccer scores
He watched the fa cup
UEFA cup and champions league
He tried to make his team win
Even if his team played my team
It was anxiety but I need to take my meds to go to the next phase of my life

Come on Daniel
Come on Daniel
Why aren’t you answering your phone
Please Buddha let me know
Why Daniel isn’t answering his phone
It isn’t going to voicemail like usual
It just stops like he is deceased or something
What the **** is going on Daniel
Are you alright
I know you have problems
But why aren’t you answering your phone
I don’t know if your dead or alive
I am sitting listening to hip hop
Thinking about your past
If you are deceased I want closure
If you are alive why aren’t to fucken answering your phone
You just stopped calling suddenly
Is Daniel alright
My head is muddled
My head feels weird
So why Daniel why Daniel
Aren’t you answering your phone
I know you say that the liberals
Are playing with your phone
But normally it doesn’t do this
Why oh why Daniel
Aren’t you answering your phone
Come on Daniel
Come on Daniel
Are you dead
Are you alive
Are you in the psych ward
Or are you in hospital
I said Daniel
I said Daniel
Why aren’t you answering your phone
It has been fun talking to you
I don’t agree with everything you say
But it has been fun
It would be a terrible world
If we all liked the same thing
Daniel Daniel
Just answer your phone
I have given up ringing you
But I still am thinking of you
I ain’t gay but I still want you
To be ok
Daniel Daniel
What is wrong

I have a friend named Daniel
He is a bit negative but
That is because his family
Treat him like ****
Daniel was born in 1979
Over ten years after me
After his last life which was
Soccer player from Italy
The players name was renarto curi
You see when Daniel was a baby
His family turned the soccer off
Daniel cried really loudly
Till they turned it back on
Daniel has always been good at soccer
Despite him being mentally ill
He played soccer for a lot of clubs
As well as kicking the ball with mates
He says he can control soccer
And other sports as well
But that was renarto curi’s spirit
Getting into his body
You see in the 1950s renarto curi
Was just a little kid
About the same time as my past life
Graeme Thorne and when renarto died he wanted to meet that poor kid
Who was thrown to the sharks
But renarto curi has to
Put up with somebody who says
He is the messiah
But that is because of his ****** life
And ****** family that goes with it
I want renarto curi to make sure
That Daniel who is dying doesn’t have those powers in his next life
Yes Daniel needs to be positive
Not the negative **** he could be

It’s my life
My life
My life
It’s my life
Don’t tell me lies
I don’t want you to boss me around
******* *******
I want to celebrate Christmas
Easter and hallo ballo ween
Yes it is cool oh yeah it is
Party on dude
Don’t knock me down
Me down
Me down
Jesus Christ our lord
Is the soul you must pray to oh yeah
If you want to be happy oh yeah mate yeah
Party
Party
Party
At the club spread the virus
Why don’t they party at home
With their own families oh yeah mate yeah
Party on dudes
We must find a way to party yeah
And every day I will wish you a happy day
Celebrate my life with me
Please don’t boss me around

Come on
Come on
Come on parramatta
Come on
Come on
Come on parramatta
Come on parra you need to win this match for me oh yeah
Just beat the knights in their home oh yeah
Come on
Come on
Come on parramatta
Come on
Come on
Come on parramatta
Come on parra we must win
Or I will ****** spew
Go the eels show the knights who’s boss
We must win this match
To keep on the top place
But if we lose we will be under pressure
Come on parramatta we must beat the knights today
Oh yeah if we don’t I will spew away

When I say I am positive
I don’t mean to covid
But I really don’t know that
I mean I love life
But I could have Covid
But really it would be so awful yeah
I dream of playing concerts in the sky
And I don’t want people to give
The virus to me
Cause I want to be positive
In a loving life kind of way
Not not not to covid oh no
I want to live my life
Talking to my friends
Giving high fives oh yeah
But because of covid 19
You can’t do that
It could drive you fucken insane
I don’t like this virus
Cause it ***** up footy
I don’t like this virus
Cause you can’t watch movies
If you were out of work
Before it came
You have buckleys of ever getting
A job right now
Especially if you ain’t young oh yeah
And you have no chance of being
In an essential service job
When I say I am positive
I don’t mean to covid
At least that it is I hope I hope I hope not
I prefer to be positive in loving life
I am glad that movies and theatre
Is online but you still have to pay
Oh yeah you pay
You can watch concerts and footy games
Having fun guessing players names
If you are old and you can’t go to church
You have to stay home and pray pray pray
To keep being positive
But not to covid
Oh yeah you need to be careful
If you party at all
You have to do it on your computer
At home
And if you are singing loudly
Your neighbours will be upset
So you say to them
Fucken live your life
We can’t party in our clubs
Or festivals so let us party at home
It shows that I am positive
But not to covid
Even if I am it won’t **** me
Well I hope I am right
I won’t go at it without a fight
I haven’t got covid yet
But I can assure you mate
It won’t silence me
Nothing can silence me

Wash your hands wash your hands
Wash your hands
Get rid of the coronavirus
Get rid get rid of it now
Make sure we wash our hands
Use hand soap
And hand sanitizer
As we work our way
Of beating coronavirus
Wash your hands wash your hands
Wash your hands
And keep your house ****** clean
You see it is hard to beat this bug
And we need to not do high fives
Or shaking hands in the clubs
There is no dancing or social distancing no
Because if we do we will catch it
The coronavirus is made by the evil trapper so the way to stop is to
Wash your hands wash your hands wash your hands
And stop trapper from winning
Enjoy the sports and tv shows
Relax and have fun yeah
Just just just
Wash your hands ya mug
To stop Corona

****** oathe ****** oathe
That I am a man
I love life just like a really cool man
I don’t do bad stuff cause that is
For the kids
I am a cool man
****** oathe ****** oathe
I am a man cool oh cool
I am a man
The coolest man in Canberra
Might even be Australia
****** oathe I am a really cool man
Loving life footy etc
Really makes me happy
Loving family life and family shows
Really really neat
Yes that is so cool
****** oathe I am a man
Who loves the footy no matter who is playing and watching other cool sports really makes me cheer
****** oathe mate I am a man
The coolest in Australia
And Canberra too
I have memories of me partying on the dance floor in the club
Yes I am a family man
I will watch the voice to see the up and coming stars pounding out their songs
To win big money and a recording contract
I don’t get drunk no more
But I am still a cool man
I get high on life
As I get older and as I have fun
I hate people committing crimes
Because it is quite bad
But I say mate ****** oathe I am a man
Keep your nonsense out of my life
I am a family man who loves life
I will enjoy partying at home on a Saturday night
But if somebody wants me too
I will go to a family event
Where everybody parties
****** oathe ****** oathe
I am a cool man

I hate adults throwing tantrums like children
If they ask you to wear a mask
Because it protects other people
From Corona wear it
Even if it violates your adult
Because if you throw a tantrum
In any way you are a child
Even if you feel you are speaking up for yourself you are still throwing a tantrum
And that makes you like a little child
A little baby child
I know these are tough times
But I feel we must follow the rules
Because I am an adult
Like my mate Daniel threw tantrums
With his mum because she watched the news on prime7 when he wanted to watch the news on channel nine
And that is throwing a tantrum like a child a little spoilt child
Daniel is a child
He wasn’t standing up for himself
He was just a little spoilt child
Kicking his sister out on her ***
When she was just wanting to be with him
I understand he wants to be on his own so he can watch the sport
But instead of throwing a tantrum like a spoilt kid he should negotiate like an adult, but Daniel is a child of the world
Anyone who uses violence to stand up for themselves is alright
But throwing groceries on the floor because they don’t want to wear a mask is throwing a childish tantrum
Yes we are living in a world full of Daniels
Daniel is a scared weak as **** little boy, lost in the world of men and women
He doesn’t want to grow up
He doesn’t want to work
He just wants people to help him
Like a spoilt little child
So Athena please find a vaccine for coronavirus NOW

Ahh push the
Push the hooligan out of my feet
Push the hooligan out oh my hands
And get rid of my evil past
Ahh push the
Push the hooligan out of my head
The part that makes it itchy
C’mon baby baby
Get rid of my shady past
C’mon baby baby
Stop me from doing crime
Keep me out of the psych ward
Where ****** young girls
Are trying to stab you with the plastic
Fork
Where bikies are constantly going to the door yelling at thrscrews
People saying they are Jesus Christ
And elvis and god
Ahh push the
Push each hooligan out of your body
Get rid of the hooligan in your thumbs
As you write this story
Ahh push the
I don’t know why my hooligan is bugging me
I support the Christians
I support the Buddhist’s
I support the homosexualls
I support the homeless
I support the mentally Ill
I support the children
I support the Asians
I support the African Americans
I support everyone
Ahh push the
Push the hooligan out of me
Get rid of my hooligan so I don’t commit crimes sending me to the psych ward
Ahh push the
C’mon baby baby
Push the hooligan out of me
Right now

Barcelona Barcelona
We drew 2-all
Barcelona Barcelona
We rule the world
Barcelona Barcelona
We can’t have crowds
Because of the coronavirus
And people are saying to me
Take my family person away
And give my hooligan back
Make me go to the pubs
Telling corny jokes
Name me go to the shop
To buy my groceries
Make me listen to the radio
To talk back while I sleep
Heating people laugh at me
Thinking they have fooled me
I want my previous lives
To give me power especially
When I get my job
I know when I work I know my duties
And I do them well
I want Albert Waldron and Greene Thorne who are my previous lives
To give me power to conquer any bullies that want to bully me
Wants to tease me
Wants to fight me
I know I was a bad person back then
But I wasn’t as bad as you think
I just wanted to PARTY
And that made me a good positive person

Woolly bully
Oh yeah your a woolly bully
You have to bully bully me
About things I don’t understand
You want me to be your perfect model
And if I don’t want to be one
You don’t care
You say I should go to bed early
So you can muck with the kids
Your a woolly bully
Oh yeah you are a woolly bully
You say you couldn’t see me get married because you thought I was a nerd
You don’t realise what that did to me
You say I should keep my house tidy
Sure if I wasn’t bullied
My house would be cleaner
Than you imagine
But you feel you need to bully me
You
Woolly bully
Oh yeah you woolly bully
You try and make me write poems
To make you happy
And if I said I prefer my own
You will say it is the wrong answer
I don’t know how to say to you
That you are a bully mate
Some people say bullies are cool
But I think they are cowards
Big cowards
I am trying to keep myself out of the psych ward
Because I got bullied in there
But the really bad bullies I find
Are the ones who push discipline in you and not follow discipline themselves
One set of rules for me
And another set of rules for the bully
I am getting old but I still hate bullies
I do go to bed but I don’t want to head there early
You are a woolly bully oh yeah mate
You are a woolly bully cool man eat my shorts
If I don’t have bullies in my life
I could achieve everything I want to be
I can do what I want to make me happy
As opposed to doing what makes other people happy
Believing what could happen does affect my life
They are woolly bullies
Really are woolly bullies
Never saying that I don’t want to be cool saying only kids be cool
But you act cool
No I am an adult and I want to be cool
There is nothing in this world I couldn’t do
But I need to do it my way
Because I need to do what I wanna do
And not what a trainer or old school friend wants me to do
Even if I look happy to them
I won’t be happy deep down
Woolly bully
You are a **** of a woolly bully
Even if you don’t agree with me
You can’t push me into things I don’t want to do deep down
Because that makes you a woolly bully mate

Go the mighty st kilda
We beat the tigers yeah
It was a superb win mate
Against last years premiers
Go the mighty st kilda
Win win win win win
Go saints clap clap clap
Go saints clap clap clap
Go the night of the saints
The tigers tried so hard mate
But st kilda looked too good
There weren’t any people there
But the tigers haven’t won since lockdown
Go the mighty st kilda
We beat those Richmond tigers
Oh when the saints
Go marching in
Oh when the saints go marching in
We won the match against the premiers of 2019
Go the mighty st kilda
We must pile the pressure on
Go the mighty st kilda
Saints saints saints oi oi oi

way back in the 1960s
was a hard time for me
i was kidnapped and thrown to sharks
which made me scared to do some things
i couldn't be a typical Australian
because of the great steve bradley
but i tried to show everyone i loved life
despite of what he did
way back in 1965 my brothers last life bill woodfull died
and he had no reason to come back
he was a famous cricketer and thought he found his peace
but then as he floated around the cosmos looking for his purpose
he noticed that not everyone gets the perfect life he had
he felt bad for greame  thorne
you know being taken away so young
while he was an old man who captained Australia through the body line test, and in 1969, greame thorne became me (brian allan)
and i was loving my new life with my new family
and despite me being thrown to the sharks
i still loved my poppy splashing me with the hose
and in the year of 1971 bill woodfull entered in my family as
my brother (chris allan), and i was excited to have a brother
even if buddha and athena put him in this family to make me
feel great after my tragic time in the 60s
we watched cricket and chris played cricket
and i went to watch him
we had our fights like all brothers do
but the spiritual bond of a old time famous cricketer helping
a fallen child was always there
he played cricket with me even if his friends wanted him to
go over his house and we pretended we had our own cricket teams
my brother remembered don bradman from his previous life
and wanted to be like him
and we had a lot of fun playing backyard cricket you know
real famous cricketers helps kidnapped kids even in spirit
we had a lot of fun together and we tackled each other on the bed
we had our teddy bears and cuddly toys as our families
and we pretended we were fathers to all of our cuddly toys
it was fun
we watched music chart shows and played Aussie rules in the front yard and i used to listen to my brother play his and other peoples music, it was fun and very exciting
we used to get in trouble and i wasn't very normal like i didn't play up that much, but my previous life was scaring me, but that wasn't
my brothers fault, you see if you see a famous sports star helping a kid who has problems, well my brother's previous life did it to my previous life
my brother wrote a song for me and gave it to me on my 40th birthday and i took him to the club for his 40th birthday
and now i am 51 and he will soon be 49, and we had a  lot of fun
seeing it all started as bill woodfull coming in to help out greame thorne, ya know make him love life
my cricketers were
dean massey
joe massey
sam binny
and more including myself

my brothers cricketers were
trinnen
botany
laitlat the fast bowler
and more including himself played as aussie cricketers too
i liked to use peter sleep
my brother liked kim hughes
so greame thorne thanks bill woodfull  for helping him through his next life
brian and chris allan

ommmmmmmmm

farewell to the vines shoe shine guy, david mather

ommmmmmmmm

i used to get into great conversations with him

ommmmmmmmm

and he hated the sound of the song 'when a bloke gets married'
he didn't believe the song existed

ommmmmmmmm

he used to drive me home from the brumbies matches

ommmmmmmmm

he gave me many of his brumbies caps

ommmmmmmmm

it was a good connection with me and stephen and david

ommmmmmmmm

he used to tell me the right way to talk so i could be respected

ommmmmmmmm

it used to be great talking to him at vinnies

ommmmmmmmm

i used to say he would be the shoe shine guy in heaven,
when people entered he would shine their shoes, he said
he didn't want that  though

ommmmmmmmm

give david mather a good send off to his next life

ommmmmmmmm

but it's a shame that his death meant he won't be around post the coronavirus

ommmmmmmmm

but he had an excellent life, though

ommmmmmmmm

he was always ringing the council if they weren't doing their jobs properly like ******* on ovals and council grass that needs mowing

ommmmmmmmm

he used to like good music like eva cassidy and supported damien death on australian idol, i wonder if he liked the voice for the nice singers

ommmmmmmmm

may his next life be really grand

ommmmmmmmm ommmmmmmmm ommmmmmmmm
goodbye to the great shoe shining man named

DAVID MATHER

you see i have this little cool kid
trying to get out,, you see my head is itchy
so is my feet, i could have tinnea
i love the footy, all sorts will do
i hate the coronavirus
stay the f..k at home
i stay off the alcohol
cause it makes me look and act like a hooligan
i stay off the smokes
because people love to tease me
when people tease me
they hassle me for money
steal all my cool stuff
get me to drink beer and throw
the empties on top of the catholic school roof
making me buy a pack of smokes for a 13 y o
because they love to see me get yelled at by the business men
putting dangerous voices in my head
making me do strange things
like **** a cat nd throwing my things over the balcony
forcing me to go to the psych ward, where i get bashed up
i want this horrible teasing to STOP
when i say i am a boy
they say they are better
when i say i am a man
they say they are better
when i want to be an inspirational disabled man
they say they are more ispirational or disabled than me
when i say i am a family person
they say i am a hooligan
PLEASE LET ME BE A FAMILY PERSON
when i get locked up
i show my fresh young legs
i asked my mate to tie me up
he now wants to do it for real
I WAS SICK, MENTALLY SICK, I NEEDED HELP
stop teasing me like this
for, i am cool

my two mates
wanted me to drink with them
on a high school oval
at 1.00 in the morning
but unknown to me
my two mates were treating me
like a hooligan to muck around with late outside at night
teasing the adults who go to bed
even if they stay up late
i prefer to be like those adults
because my two mates
daniel and eddie tried to **** me
my trying to run their car into me
i missed my favourite radio show
the show i listen to in bed
i lay in bed listening to the dudes
charging up their motors in their cars
while i am in bed listening to adelaide radio because i love it
i ran away from daniel and eddie
because they are cowards
like all bullies are

Hi am bimmy jarnes
And I am performing this quarantine concert from my living room with my alcohol pile mr drinkerbocker and my hat rack friend mahatma kote and scarf
And my first song is I am a real bludging man
Not working anymore
Just sitting down alone
In my house near my award and sign
Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi
Relaxing oh yes indeed
Then mr drinkerbocker said to mahatma kote n scarf
That we must drink as many beers we want oh yeah mate yeah
Oh yeah dude, I am real bludging man
Then I go to the kitchen
To get a can of beer
It is like going to the bar, mate
But you don’t have to pay
You just get drink and sit right down
The best way you can
Oh yeah dude I am real bludging man
Ok thanks and now my action song for you
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind these drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the vb
Ready to party with me
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind these drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the Carlton draught
Ready to be hungover the next day fast
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the Melbourne bitter
While watching your footy team win no crowds
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of blue kamakasi shot
To really be cool a lot
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of champagne
And go out and play a drinking game
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Thank you and now here is my next song
You picked my hat and coat up off the ground and you put a scarf on as the face everybody cheers you on
Oh yeah mate yeah
You bring the sunflowers in from the backyard and put them at the bottom as the feet
He is my best friend I have ever had
Never ever arguing with me
Mahatma kote n scarf
Everything is looking cool
Breaking every golden rule
Yes mate you are a tool
Using coffee to make you feel unreal
Yes yes yes mahatma kote and scarf
And now here is my award called the
National imagination award which I won because I have a cool imagination
I won this award one Sunday night
In a bar a long time ago
Everybody liked me then
I was cool
I was cheering the loudest I have ever cheered yes this felt great
We had roast chicken vegetables and a tasty mud cake
For my award is such a great friend
Never ever let’s me lose
Oh yeah partying in the club is what I enjoyed then
I really set fire to this town
Number 1 is to find my phone
That I lost yesterday
Number 2 is to have a shower
Putting on cologne
Number 3 is the happy hour on your YouTube or Facebook stream
When you party and you enjoy it yeah
I could really set fire to this room
With a cigarette lighter
And ok that was it there ain’t no more
Unless you come when Corona is over yeah

Singing and dancing while you work
Is what I really like to do
I get the broom out of the closet
And I go to the front door
And sing and dance while I work
People worry about me
But I ain’t doing nothing wrong
I am still doing the job good
It is just that I am singing and dancing
While I work
Some say I look like a loud hooligan
Some say I need help
Some say I am mentally sick
But I Just say to you, this
I was just singing while I work
Dancing while I work
Having fun loving life
Doing a good job
But partying very hard
Picking up *******
And cigarette buts
Singing smoke that cigarette
Cleaning the 2 kitchens singing
Don’t stop me now
Which I sing very loud
People telling me to quiten down
But all I wanted to do is
Singing while I work
Dancing while I work
Partying at work loving life at work
Just singing and dancing
Loving life oh yeah
Singing and dancing at work

Quarantining is a joke
We can’t go out and have fun
No club no sport no movies no shows
Really is fucken annoying
But if we think about
The fun we can have at home
Watching YouTube and Netflix
And we will bring our time
Letting trapper win oh yeah
Quarantining is a joke
No sitting on the beach
Can’t sit in the park
Talking to your mate
What a fucken joke it is
But if we follow all the rules
We won’t catch covid 19
And hopefully we won’t die
It is a jolly big sacrifice
But it is important
Just follow the rules the politicians say
And stay at home oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah stay at home
Quarantining is a joke
No watching bands at the clubs
No poetry slams or bingo sessions
Really drives me insane
But if we follow the rules
You can see all that on YouTube and on zoom
And have a party at home
Enjoying life oh yeah come on party dude
Yes rock and roll
No kareoke except for singing along on YouTube
Just listen to the authorities and you can still have fun even if fun looks like fading just have fun at home

Once a happy young dude
Came into Canberra
To see the dudes and dudettes there
He met a nice person
Named Patrick Enright
Who was his father type
Then Patrick said he doesn’t like
The young dude life
Cause they make to many mistakes
But Brian came in and said
Making mistakes is how we learn
On how to be a real person
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
And pat was a man
You see Brian loves life
Looking back at the life he had
Knowing Patrick will never have that
Then pat told me
I committed a bad crime
And that ruined the life we have
I told Patrick that he was too perfect and needed to get a reality check
Life isn’t really like he has
I get his voice saying me and Chris ain’t like him
Well that is true because he was a nerd
Which is a man who never ever really lived
I lived a very exciting life oh yeah
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
And pat was a man
You see Brian loves life looking back
At the life he had
Knowing Patrick will never have that
You see pat hated me
So he chose to follow god
With his mate Greg Harris
I saw the old man in pat
Following my fathers lead
I was a young dude and pat was a man
I went to Scott’s and then I went to James’s to hang around like a young dude does
I took pat with me one day which was alright untill he got cranky because
I was a normal young dude
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
And pat was a man
You see Brian loves life looking back
At the life he had
Knowing Patrick will never have that
Now Brian misses Patrick
So he dreams about him all the time
Thinking what would Patrick
Do in covid 19
I know my poems are better than
What he can do
Patrick, how are you coping mate
You see I ain’t visioning Patrick
I am seeing me when I was young
When I was a party dude
I am dealing with it
But I vision Patrick not
As I see him turning into a hating life ****
And with my writing I show I can deal with my life
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
Brian was a young dude
And pat was a man
You see Brian loves life looking back
At the life he had
Knowing Patrick pretty stupid Patrick
Knowing Patrick will never have that

Fred Fred Fred
Mate yes he is Fred
You have to meet Fred
So go to bed little boy
Never winge and whine
Just go to bed little boy
Because Fred loves life
And enjoys it yeseree
Fred Fred Fred yes go to bed
Little boy
I know you ain’t tired
But you are a little kid
So go to bed go to bed little boy
Don’t copy Fred no don’t copy Fred
Fred Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
If you are a woman
Don’t choose Fred
Cause he is a ****** fucken *****
Who drinks too much *****
If you are a kid don’t choose Fred
Because he will do nasty things to you
Like hold you in his house
And say to you I want your blood
Because Fred Fred Fred
Is a man that can’t be trusted
So go to bed little boy
Don’t muck with Fred
Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
Never muck with Fred
Cause he is evil as
No little boy
He isn’t Fred flintstone
He has no best mate named Barney
He is just a nasty guy
Don’t muck with him
He is Fred Fred Fred
Go to bed little boy
Never muck with Fred
Cause you are young
He is middle aged
So Fred Fred Fred
Never muck with Fred
He is bad news
So stay away little boy
Never ever ever little boy
Muck with Fred
Cause he is bad news

Gotta live your life
Gotta live your life
Gotta live your life
Oh yeah mate yeah
You gotta watch the footy
You gotta see w show
Of theatre or cinema
How cool will that be
You gotta go to concerts
And have fun at festivals
Getting drunk loving life
Oh yeah mate ****** yeah
You have to be a ballerina
As you enjoy making the moves
You could be a poet
And perform in the poetry slam
And get people to cheer you on
To make you feel better
You could go on a round the world cruise
If you have the money
You have to be as rich as Rupert Murdoch if you want to afford that
You could be the world’s first trillionaire and that way will make you love life
But you could be a drug dealer
And risking going to gaol
Every stretch of life
You could be a tiger
On the loose in the city
But hopefully they won’t have to **** him
That will be a pity
You could go to a night club
On a Saturday night
And party to all the hits
You could sit at home watching
Old movies or concerts on YouTube
Yeah mate just a bit
You might be a person
Who goes to bed early
To enjoy the next day
And hoping you won’t wake her
When your partying is over for the day
Gotta live my life
Gotta live my life
Gotta live my life
And have some fun

I still got young fresh legs
I still got young fresh legs
I know I am old I know I want to be cool yeah
I still got young fresh legs
Maybe I want to be young
As opposed to growing old
Everyone likes me
And respects me yeah
Because I have young fresh legs
I walk around, having a lot of fun
I try and avoid eating a cream bun
Because I want my young fresh legs
I would even go and beg
I feel demons are chasing me
So I run with my young fresh legs
I remember when I was young
I used to call them shiny
My hormones were driving me crazy
Making me try and avoid being lazy
With my young fresh legs
I could be cool
I break no rule
You see it is me enjoying partying
Showing off my young fresh legs
Despite me being 50 yeah
I still have young fresh legs
When I was young I got teased
By a lot of people that are dumb
So I got my young fresh legs
And kicked that ******* up the ***
With My young fresh legs
You see I am so fit
And I am so cool
I break no rule in every way
I feel cool with my young fresh legs
My young fresh legs
My young fresh legs
You see I am cool and break no rule
I feel people are trying to keep my family away from having fun
So I decided to show my young fresh legs
I will be the coolest dude in the world my friend
With my
With my
With my young
Young
Young
Fresh legs
Even if I am 50
It is still cool
To have young fresh legs

I am in my house and I am having fun
Being cool oh yeah it is fun
I don’t want to go to the psych ward mate
Cause that place is for losers
They try and bully you cause their sick
But the best thing Is try and keep well
The psych ward is a rotten place
Nobody there has a pretty face
They are ugly and they are crap
The psych ward has no people taking naps
The psych ward the psych ward
I don’t want to go there
It is full of losers yeah
The psych ward the psych ward
No way in the world it is a happy place
No way it is warm embrace
I say if I go back I will bring my iPad
And stay with the happy family people yeah
But I don’t want to end up there
Cause as I said the place is full of losers yeah
My house makes me happier than the psych ward

I don’t know why everybody
Is bullying me to be clean
When I just want to be bad and ****** mean
I have no idea why bad people
Want to be like me
Because I prefer to stay with the real families
Like playing games any sort will do
I don’t want to be like bad people no
I am missing the footy really
Cause of this virus yeah mate yeah
But when it returns mate
I will be happy
As I yell Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi
I want people to stop treating me
Like I have to be perfect
Perfection isn’t the best thing
No the crap it’s not
I want to sit on my couch
Doing my needlework
But why do you worry
I do exercises and I go for walks
So just leave me the **** alone
I haven’t got much on now
But I try and enjoy life
I took down all my signs
Because they didn’t inspire me oh no
I am Australian and I do Aussie things
In art
And when I have a solo exhibition
You can see how smart I am
Party party party
Waiting for pubs to open
But I prefer to stay with the families
I prefer to love life
Aussie Aussie Aussie
Party on

I don’t give a **** about protesting
It just causes problems with the world
I know they are trying to make the world better
But who gives a crap about that
Politics are supposed to be there for us
Even if it ain’t really so
I prefer a good party than protesting
Save peoples jobs
I do the hokey pokey
But I still want to work
But nobody listens to you if you protest
Get us out of isolation
I headbang to bon jovi
Even if I care for that they are out of work
I just don’t want to protest about anything
Because they do more harm than good
To save the immigrants
I will have a beer with Duncan
I care but I think it is dumb to protest
I drop some money in the jar to help
In every charity that they protest about
The protesters only get arrested for
What they do
So what is the point
They are in jail
And I am partying on YouTube
I care but I don’t want to suffer
And that is the way of this world

You shut your mouths protesters
Over coronavirus
You need a good talking to anyway
Oh yeah bow bow
People who talk politics or argue over politics are troublemaking dudes
Protesting on the street after being arrested for social distancing
Well that is really bad
I say you put your vb in
And Carlton out
And party all day long
Try and be understood
That is the way to go
I think protestors of lockdown
Are total *****
What I hear that the government
Is looking after us
Instead of protesting why don’t they
Party at your home
With music that you buy
Or over the internet
Partying is way better than
People who protest don’t you think
Well that is what I think
You could do the hokey pokey
And Macarena and dance to bon jovi
Sing it loud and sing it strong
Make the troublemakers scream
Because what is see that
Nobody is stopping them from having fun
I believe in having fun
Having fun oh yeah
I don’t get drunk
Just get high on life
And boy I am so cool
Arguing with the police is wrong
Even if you mean good
Because the news is telling you
What is on and what is not
So get a life protesters
Of coronavirus fame
And go home where we are safe
And party online
If that is what you complain about
Go and **** yourself
Trapper wants us to protest and get arrested because that destroys our fun
Ohhh yeah bow bow
Chicka

What are you looking at
I want to fucken know
I think it is something from the zoo
Like a wild monkey or lion
I don’t like you
I don’t know you
You think you are cool man
But everybody knows you ain’t
I was a kid who loved to party
And you called me a Turk
I wanted you to *******
But you said no way
I said well, I don’t care what you say
Or think you fucken ****
I just know in my language
Is just Turk is a crazy persons word
You are crazy
You picked on a cool kid
So now I am heading off being respected by the adults
All you are is
A fucken ****** Turk
I will say what are ya looking at
With you trying to be cool saying
Dunno doesn’t have a name tag on it
I will just say
I like him at least he tries to be cool
But I am very cool
I can handle being called a Turk
I write my poems
And mate they are weird
But that makes me the coolest dude
Ever in this city
I chose Canberra to be the coolest dude
And I party at home and I party at
Events around the city
But in this time of Corona
I have to say I can still be the coolest dude by having fun
I believe in having fun
Kicking former bullies up the ***
I remember when a gay man called me ****
But I said ******* I ain’t gay
Someone called a pipsqueak
I hated that also
Party on and kick that Turk up the ***