I awoke being happy being happy

i am happy to be calling you a woos

i awoke being happy, being very happy

happy happy happy oi oi oi

fly burgers are good enough to eat

and simon said he will give you a special treat

man, i feel very very beat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

rockabilly rockabillty rockabilly rock

a man comes up to tell ya to get ******

you say neh, i don’t wanna, no don’t

i just hop in my little mini moke

i rock up and  rock down

i party hardy all over the town

my dad told me, to be careful;, but he

doesn’t understand i am careful in a devious kind of way

15 miles to the get to the end

without mates voices driving you round the bend

please mate yeah mate yeah, leave me alone

cause i am the king sitting upon my thrown

i wear a gold gown and gold shoes on my feet

and this robe i have on is kind of ****** neat

please buddha, save me from this crap

because i am in a city, where the people seem nice and the ideas are alright

but when it comes to cool, i am the one to go to

party party party, yeah, i will ****** ****** party

i party for my mommy and i party for my daddy

i am not a hooligan though it’s hard to tell

i am not the type to kiss and tell

i am ugly, yeah that is me

it’s better than being a little pretty boy, yeah buddy

i am not a little pretty boy, i am a ugly toad

that will one day get what i want, yeah deviously what i want

people call me woosey, i can’t understand

why they can’t except, that i am a reformed man

i said to my voices out on the street

LEAVE ME ALONE YA ****, YOU RICH *****

maybe i don’t know how to fight, i don’t wish i did

cause violence doesn’t solve anything

yelling at the heavens solves things but it cause some hatred

because of the voices being jealous of your art and power

money money money will make me happy so i can go on holidays

money money money, will bring me joy yeah, to brian allan’s world

i want my voices to upgrade in me being nice

i am radically awesome dude

ydney sydney sydney oi oi oi

they beat the roos mate, real true blue

go sydney go sydney go sydney go

they are the best team in the AFL

franklin and goodsey, yeah mate yeah

off to the pub to have a ****** beer

those mighty sydney swans pack a true blue

ya see the swannies are for me and you

go sydney go sydney go sydney go

we’ll get ‘em yeah the mighty swans yeah

the best in the land go swans

to whom it may concern


i was given a rude remark by one of your door door people

as he approached my house in hawker, on saturday 13 june 2015

he made a ******* coment saying, don’t worry we are not going to rob you

it’s like he was put there to tease me or something, i found it very insulting

and if i knew his name, i would make sure he was sacked, i realise that it is

his word against mine, but he will never get anyone supporting unicef with that

attitude, i know it’s stupid to think he’ll get the sack, but he was terribly rude

you see, i am not an old stick in the mud, i love life, probably more than him

he shouldn’t be working for unicef, because when i said i ain’t interested in a normal way

he said oh buddy, settle down, i know that this was uncalled for, ok, i think you should

tell this man by looking in your book to see who was in hawker on 13 june 2015 and

let him know that, i hate him, i am not offended i am just concerned of your business

HE WAS RUDE

i am up here in outer space

remembering all the fun stuff i did on earth

yeah move on up, move on down

move round and round and round

i really liked my mate bert

he was a person that had that very ugly smirk

but i liked him i liked him, he was great

and then i watch the prime minister yeah

yeah he is so right wing, man what a square

if i was there, i’ll vote for labor

and ignore the liberal voters with their *******

i love rock and roll and i love it so much

ya see whether it’s done with guitars or drums or base

i am up here showing the universe how to play air guitar

and i drive around in my expensive space car

doodly doodly doodly doo

i have people on my side, how about you

i find out that the footy show has

taken over everything that i brought on

round round bring it on down and wanna face up to the fact

that i got money for my face being fat

and my eyes are round, you can see me looking like a cat

the young entertainers will call me an old bat

what are ye archer what are ye archer doodle doo doodle doo

so one thing i like to say, is PARTY ON and remember old grey

the **** kids gaol episode 2



today at the **** kids gaol, billy was causing fights with george over the fucken milk

being spilt in the kitchen, and the officer had to break the fighting between them

and brad went into the drama room and the **** kid said, today we are going to

act out your whole life in a nutshell, and george didn’t share brads enthusiasm, as he thought

this was just the fucken screws, earning brownie points of us, and the **** kid gave george

a piece of paper for him to write the problem he has with screws out of him, as opposed

to letting the officers have it, every time things don’t turn out well, it’ll be better for the **** kid

to see his problems all mapped out for him, and billy got out at the wrong side of the bed, decided to

really pick on george as he wrote, and george said SHUT UP, i am trying to write my stuff out of me

and then george said how about you write your bad stuff out of you, and the **** kid gave him a pen

and paper, and said write stuff out of you, you see this is a reforming prison through the eyes of

me the **** kid, and despite it being unrealistic, and writing problems out of you, helps reform prisoners

you see, if we do it, other prisons will do it too, just write down all your silly tripe, and after they finish writing

it was handed to the **** kid, and the officers gave the **** kid, george and billy’s writing so the **** kid

can think about having these thoughts acted out in the drama room, HOW COOL, so we can find out whether

or not these criminals really wanted to commit these crimes, write to reform, brad was blaming billy for his mind

problems, and a big fight broke out, brad threw the first punch and billy fought back punching billy in the gut

forcing the officers to give brad and billy each a piece of paper each, to find out what was bothering each of them,

we have a new inmate at the **** kids gaol, you see there was a big ****** investigation in ballast over a man

named peter who killed his wife and kids, and the **** kid wanted to find out the best measures of reform for this

dangerous criminal.    when peter arrived at the **** kids gaol he was strip searched and told to put on a prison

uniform, then he was taken to his cell, and the **** kid said, keep an eye on him, if he fools around with the other

inmates, give him a piece of paper and force him to write, and i can find out what he can contribute to AAA TV

gaol, and then the **** kid had an idea, how about we make him a contestant on let’s make a deal, and i can arrange it

he wins the confession of a lifetime, where he confesses his sins and having mud thrown all over him

and the officers took peter to the showers, and billy was there saying, WELL WELL WELL, look who we have here

the guy who kills women and children to get through life, and the screws had to break up this fight, and gave

billy and peter a piece of paper to find out what caused the fight, and write the gunk out of them, and from what billy and

peter wrote, the **** kid said how about we show a late night show called billy and pete’s late night jamboree, and peter will

play a drama king called solomon, the **** kid said this would be cool, the **** kid went back to his drawing board, and had to

hire the heavies so billy and peter can’t escape while doing the show, peter started singing nothing but a good time to start the

first show and he explained he had no good times with the wife and kids, and killing them was the answer, and the **** kid said

how about you write about your bad times with your family and i can document it to make a show for drama group and peter

said fine, and went straight to work, the **** kid was happy that his prison was moving up in the world, PERFORM TO REFORM

the **** kids gaol  episode 1




today the **** kid met up with billy marcus, who was the most evil serial killer in

this country and this was mighty hard for him to figure out the right reforming tool, because

despite killing all these people, billy showed no remorse for his victims  and the **** kid got

on the computer to search for ways to make billy perform to reform, and that made the **** kid

so devious and cunning in his plan, yes, the **** kid thought, billy will host a game show and

each week he will meet the families of each of his victims, and boy they were so ******* with billy, the

**** kid had to nail down the furniture and when the first episode of the show came, the first guest was

margaret roe, who was the aunty of harriett roe, who was the 12 year old girl billy bashed and murdered

and to revenge the death of harriett, margaret threw 25 tins of spaghetti all over billy, and the second guest

was rodney palmer, who was victim’s louise hines best friend, and everything he wanted to do to billy was illegal

so rodney threw red paint  all over billy, which made billy stink of turpentine but there were many more victims, but

the **** kid said, that is it for the day, and then the **** kid brought out george and brad, who were the brotherly love team

who robbed banks all over melbourne and sydney, and the **** kid put them in a drama group so they can learn how not

to be antisocial, and this was a fun time for the terrible two as the **** kid got them to write their problems out of them

and there was a lot of fake nice in the stories and the **** kid knew they were fake nice, just for reading it and then said

how about next week you act these stories out, and i will edit them and put them on AAA TV and we’ll start the day with

brad in the morning and i can see you should prepare your work and then robert noristine who killed 44 people in various bank robberies

was brought in and straight away the **** kid thought straight away that he could do the weather for brad in the morning and while

brad read the news, robert did the weather, telling each person know the weather forecast and brad had some great guests

like the lord mayor, yetta timpson and at the end of each show brad and robert were pelted with oranges and lemons, and boy did

they hurt, and it got so wild, the guards had to break it up and the **** kid took the prisoners back to their cells to get ready for dinner

and talk about life behind bars being famous, the **** kids way

little daddy waddy

******* his thumb

just like a stuck up little brat

i am a man, ya know, run of the mill

though i am penniless, but

that doesn’t stop me from being talented

but dad teased me like a stuck up little brat

is what he looks like to me

yeah, he helped me

but i wasn’t his cool kid, back then

what is wrong with me

to him, i was trying to be a cool kid

dad, to me was a nerd

cause he probably only liked together people

i tried to gain his respect

but i learnt together means theory for *****

i am never going to grow up for dad, but he isn’t around anymore

i am a real real man and dad was like a little baby wa wa wa wa wa

i liked pat in my head, because i didn’t want to pick fights with dad

i was visioning dad as a perfect little gentlemen, what’s wrong with that

i probably hear laughing at my mental health TV station idea, what is wrong with that

that’ll be fun for the poor and suffering to have a mental health TV station

mentally ill people love entertaining

i hate voices in my head saying to rob my stuff

i was a little young dude, who isn’t too woosey for life

who’s a little young dude, who isn’t too woosey for life

brian’s a little young dude, who isn’t too woosey for life

ha ha ha, i hear voices of old mates protecting me

they look like geeks who are trying to be like little homely kids

dad never understood that i was trying to be nice

he didn’t understand i liked partying at shopping centres

i wanted to be a real hotshot cool kid, to all the party young dudes, i liked that

i chucked a tantrum because dad wanted me to be with disability workers, i wanted more

ya know mucking around in groups with them, yeah they are nice

but i am an independent artist and writer aqnd youtube entertainer

mind you carers are helping me be an independent artist and writer

i was having delusions that my mates pat and lyle were treating me like a little cool kid, they ain’t my daddy’s though

dad was, i never got on with him, i wish i did

dad tried to say, your one of the young dudes, treating me like him and mummy, i hated that, but i tolerate that now

i heard old mates saying, leave the more big bad brainy winey, your not like us, NEVER

when i committed that awful act on an 11 year old boy, i heard my mate pat say in my head

you are not ever going to be treated like one of US  young dudes ever again

the voices say to me, i am a cool kid to the young dudes, but i ain’t better though

then the voices say, ***** are better, i told the voices, i am not a criminal, i am not a pheadphile

i am party loving, poetry loving cool man, dude

the voices can say **** till they are blue in the face, i ain’t getting worried, but the voices are annoying me all day, I HATE THAT

i tried to be a little cool kid playing cool for people going to bed, and dad said, uhhhh! get away from me, kid

dad was a man, and now he’s little betty campbell, see ya betty from cool man brian

you see dad up there in NIRVANA, i am the only disabled person in our close knit family

and you are being forgotten too, in a way, in the cool way, dad did say, he doesn’t wanna be cool

well, this affects betty’s mojo

THE GREAT POOL TOURNAMENT



we are here at the Green bay packers football club, for the annual pool competition

and we have a great line up of pool champions from simon o’heary and brendan itato,

they are the players who fought it out in last years final, and this year promises to be a bumper

of a tournament.    


the first match is between samuel patrice and johnny carter, and samuel gets the break which is a beauty

knocking the number 14 in first and then knocked the number 12 in next and his third go, he attempted to

knock the number 9 in but missed by a whisker

and then johnny had his go, and he is on smalls, yep he missed the pocket with the first shot by the skin of his teeth

so samuel lined up with his next shot and knocked the 15v and the number 9 in, and only had 16, 10 and 11 to go

before the black ball, samuel was on a roll, and then samuel knocked the number 10 in, and there was no way he was

going to lose this game, no way, but then he knocked the 16 in and then straight away knocked the 11 in and then he was

on the 8 ball, and if he knocks this one in, the game is won, and the black was right near the hole, which was easy for samuel to sink

and he sank it, and samuel won, and johnny carter was out yet again, and samuel moved onto the next round, where he played the

winner of the other table, who was phillip cutherhead, and this was promising to be a promising match, so the referee tossed the coin

and phillip won and decided to break, and when he did he sent the ***** to 7th heaven, you see phillip beat 17 year old colin hayes,

who was hoping to ****** up the tournament, and when we interviewed colin, man, he was very disappointed but he knew that this year

wasn’t his year, samuel had the second shot, and by geez, he couldn’t have whacked a more perfect shot knocking the number 6 in the left

middle pocket, radical, samuel continued to show style by knocking 4 in right bottom and 3 in left middle and 5 in left middle and 2 in middle right

and 1 in middle left and 7 in middle right and then knocked the 8th in to win this easily.

the next game started with samuel and his opponent harry burns knocking each ball in 1 by 1 and samuel ended up winning this close match by a flukey

knock of the number 13 and the next shot on the 8th meant if you miss this you are going to harry’s  turn so he knocked it in and samuel went to the bar

to rest up till his next game.and watch the match to see his next opponent, and the match was between brendan schultz and simon weather by and brendan

broke and it was a ****** powerful shot and simon was left wondering what hit him, brendan was the third best last year and he was determined to become

2 times better and simon wanted to set a trap for brendan, so to speak, he had some tricks lined up, and brendan wasn’t shy to display these shots in the match

brendan did a trickshot knocking number 14 in middle right and 9 in bottom left and 12 in middle left all at once, which left simon completely speechless,

brendan ended up winning and was waiting for simon to finish his losers interview, so he can talk about that win, simon told the press a pack of wild bulls

couldn’t beat brendan in this match and then he congratulated brendan, brendan was happy to be in the final against samuel to see who comes 1st or 2nd


1.  they played the national; anthem of the USA

2.  Samuel and brendan stood back to back and the referee was standing behind them

3.  10 year old benjamin whaler tossed the coin to see who will break in the tournament final, brendan won and chooses to break

4.  brendan and simon had a arm wrestle in the lead up and on with the GAME in this bumper grand final


brendan broke and by geez he broke a beauty and knocked the 11 ball in and is on bigs, the next shot, brendan scattered all the ***** on

every corner of the table, and samuel had his next shot, and can’t believe he missed everything forcing brendan to have 2 shots, must be nerves

from the other two wins, brendan’s first shot knocked 16 and 5 in, which ruined the 2 shots that samuel gave him, samuel was very excited, he went

straight over to knock the 3 ball in and then knocked the 7 ball in and then nearly knocks the 4 ball in, but didn’t, and after that brendan sank the white ball

which gave samuel 2 shots, let’s hope he doesn’t do what brendan did, samuel concentrated very hard hitting the 3 ball in and then 1 ball in and then

the 6th ball in and then knocked the 2 ball, and without knowing it samuel was looking like winning the tournament, as he was 1 ball away from winning

the tournament, and samuel had his next shot but there was a lot of pressure, he sank the white and gave brendan 2 shots, which made brendan have

to concentrate, because he couldn’t make a mistake because samuel was on the 8 ball, brendan did a trick shot sinking 9 ball into middle left side and 10 ball

into middle right and 15 into right bottom, and then did another trick shot knocking 11 ball in the left middle pocket and 12 ball in the right middle pocket and

13 ball in the right corner pocket and 14 ball in the middle left, and both samuel and brendan were both on the 8th, the next whot brendan missed the right bottom pocket

and samuel had his shot and sank the black right into the top right pocket, which gave sam the tournament and brendan went out of the building refusing to talk to any member

of the press, the next step was



1.  brendan congratulated sam on his great win

2.   sam gets the trophy and says thanks to the crowd for making this all possible

the speech

i didn’t think i would win that last match

brendan was putting on some very good shots

and if it wasn’t for him missing that last shot

i wouldn’t’ have the chance, THANKS EVERYONE

and then sam held the cup over his head, and did a lap of honour around the pool hall, , and then the announcer said samuel, you are the best

and we will see you next year

GOODBYE

fun at the bowling alley



heaps of strikes, left, right and centre

spares are as good as well

if you can’t manage a strike, no spares a great

every strike you get

you get a mighty big cheer

and then you sit down

and wait for your next bowl

sometimes you get a blasted 7-10 split

which is ****** well annoying

especially if you are 117 in the 0th

instead of getting 147, you get 126

and it drives you crazy

especially if you know you can bowl a heap better than that

it can be very frustrating

it is fun to bowl at any cost

and you really enjoy getting the perfect score for you

whether it’s a 200 game or a 121 game

it’s still a fantastic score

it’s normal to enjoy a nice cold drink afterwards

with heaps of munchies as well

so you have the energy, to bowl a perfect game

the fun times as a kid for brian allan from canberra




you see it was fun it was great, every single day

i went to the mall to muck around, and i heard

men calling me a great big ugly snout, oh yeah yeah, yeah mate yeah

and then i wore my screaming jets t shirt and i played my air guitar so much

and then i went home and did my washing, and i stunk of laundry powder oh yeah

and i came down to the mall and the young dudes said

welcome brian to the mall, welcome welcome welcome

and then i spoke to the music shop owner about all the latest music that he played

ya see young ronnie was asked by me to tie me up on my bed

i wanted that because of my previous life, yeah mate yeah it was soooo cool

and then i played with my mates, and chased brendan up the tree

and he said, brian, be a kid, don’t be an adult, oh no way

i said, fine as my brother was looking at me showing me what a starer looked like

i wanted to party, so i went into the pub and watched some kids playing pool

and they all sang the U2 song, mysterious ways, while i was watching

i didn’t really wanna stare so i went to the dance floor and put my body up to the gorgeous chicks

and we danced to songs like what’s love got to do gotta do with it

you see i went to this pub after spending some time playing computer games at the bowling alley

and then headed off saying men don’t do that, that’s what kids do, i might head to the pub

and i met some really cool kids, but i was a tad troubled because as soon as people

said go home, i said neh, i am still not ******* off mate

they used the words, ******* turk, so we can get on with our lives

and i said, i am still not ******* off mate, dad said, ******* coward

which forced me to tease my father heavily, but i didn’t wanna do that, it was the chemical in my f..n brain

like the chemical in my brain which forced me to listen to the kids say, what’s that, your like us

well, i might heard one kid say this, but, really i shouldn’t expect this

i like when people sing in groups, but dads not around anymore, the old hags dead, but i remember dad

said what’s that brian what’s that brian what’s that brian, i liked that, why did dad change

i liked the voices from mum, your like our fucken kids, but that was a voice from my brain chemical

i was having visions of my brother saying, you are like us, when i was on rampage on grabbing kids

but i didn’t want to do that, it was my crazy chemical in my brain

i want to find a cure for death, so i used my cronus belief to give brian allan the power to know dads next life

dad is betty campbell, i remember stealing some rope and tying myself up in a toilet and pretending to be kidnapped

i remember patrick, was my best mate, and as i entered the mall he clapped his hands saying

welcome brian welcome to the mall, i was the one that stopped kids tying themselves up on youtube, it was just me

i didn’t wanna be encouraged to tie the kids up, so i told websites to untie our youth, because it attracts phedaphiles, don’t ya think

you see in the wrong hands youtube is dangerous, and kids are only little, mind you, some kids can look after themselves

but i had to do that because kids were playing tie up games, which i used to play, but i don’t want kids copying me, but

it forces kids to get themselves into traps, and I SAVED THEM, WITH MY BARE HANDS

youtube is way cooler and i think FOXTEL really doesn’t have anything like youtube, and i remember in 2004 i said i go on the computer

and google a fertiliser press on it a number of times and instant cash from the internet money tree and i started hearing voices taking my helper away

ya see i had this poem i wrote, saying ….  teena totter teena totter 33 and there was this man from toastmasters trying to take my man as i was

sitting at the mall drinking a coca cola, i was being a reformed man, instead of beer, i drank coke, because when i was drinking i was a real terror

but it wasn’t all my fucken fault, ya see in the town centre tavern, a man bought me and him a jug of beer but he fucken tore strips off me forcing me

to look up in the sky saying god or buddha please save me now, and he fucken yelled at me, saying your not like the kids, and i saw peter sargent, an old

neighbourhood friend, but he died and one man was teasing me at the bar because the barman only let me do a tab just for a cricket match, i liked that

cricket match so much, but clubs don’t do that much anymore, i was having fun, actually i was having voices in my head about the canberra people

making me be an adult to a ****, sit there brian and drink your beer watch the families mucking around and then die, it might be because i stole people’s money

and ran off leaving him lying in the ditch, i feel bad about that now, steve told me, i shouldn’t have done that, and in 2004, pats voice said teena totter teena totter

35, i was kidnapped by a demon, and i made it through alive and i was crazy back in the 90s, the chemical in my brain was forcing patrick’s voice in my head

and i cheered on some dude’s kid and he said, ya leave my kid alone ya little mongrel and i started teasing him calling him a worry wought, and as he left, he said

next time i see ya, i will punch you, your not a shy person, buddy, but he never did, but still i have to watch my f..n back, but as long as i don’t **** him off again

it should be alright and one time at the charnwood inn, i was watching the choirboys, i lost my wallet and smokes and some **** grabbed me outside and i thought he was abducting me,

so i tried to push my legs up, and he said, ok we’ll leave ya alone buddy and i got a free taxi ride home, and i was at the ANU bar watching a band and this man started tapping his foot

and i thought he was cool, but the chemical in my brain made a little tease, coming  out of him, but i really thought that band was cool, despite me looking like i was jittering

and also when i was bowling as we had a club meal, i was dancing on the floor with kathryn and the patrons thought i was the coolest dude around, and i partied all the way through

bowling, especially when i won trophies, yeah this was rad, and i remember i was bowling back in 1990 and i grabbed two boys of bill, who was our player and i wanted to ****** them

as well as i went to the basketball and grabbed a boy near the dunny, and grabbed frank’s friend robert, it lead to tie up games, but i don’t want anyone like me, ya see

but i remember singing, hey hows it going, sorry i can’t get through, just leave ya name and ya number and i’ll get back to you, and i sang the whole song at the mall as well

as teasing the men, saying i am a kid and your a man, i am a kid and your a man, you see i remember having visions of being treated like a hooligan ya know playing cool for yeah mate

yeah kids, as i sat there, the forces of the paranormal world will take away my family person, saying, your not a family person anymore, you are now a hooligan, and i hear pat’s voice

saying, come on brainy party, and i said, hi pat over the phone and he always told me to look after myself as he hi-5ed me, but there was this girl named louise, well i got memories

of life with pat at the poetry slam through louise, but she got ******* when people yelled at her, my motto is, i have the right to go out and have fun, like a real cool kid, that i was

but there is a worry that i will lose what i have at the poetry slam as far as losing people cheering me on, but i have to stick at my guns at the poetry slam and read with pride

for the poems i wrote myself, and i like dad, but i hate the voice saying, dads not around anymore brian, i know that, i say to the voice, but i don’t think he understands me

and mcdonalds was my favourite food, until it made me *****

even in death dad is a pain in the neck, especially in death


ya see dad died last year

and i know dad ain’t around anymore

but he’s determined to get to the bottom of me, ya know

ya know, the son who teased him, and because of that

had to remain poor, but that is ok

because poor people are nice

better than the ****** nosed rich ****** anyway

who only believing in pushing poor buggers like me around

and i don’t care what dad means anymore, cause he is dead

the old kodger is dead, yes dad was an old dogie

who never  really fought through the spirit of life

and that’s why i made him a little girlie

through the POWERS of cronus

and dad is still trying to win by making young dudes

show me how my past teasers teased me

i want dad to keep his shy man away from me

so i can bring his next life closer to me, (betty campbell)

?because dad used to say girls are cool

and even if the young dudes are treating me like a cool kid

dude, try and leave the mall and let the mall patrons enjoy life

because i was the only one in my family that wanted everyone to have fun

life is boring now that dad is dead, because dad is saying

please don’t party around brian because despite what you think, brian hates it

i was doing small talk with dad, I LOVE PARTYING, and dad is wrong

i don’t want to get teased, fought or bullied because i am a cool party dude, man

i am not a hooligan, no way, no fear

i am a little young dude who needs to be left alone by the old fucken hags of this town

and dad was the old fucken hag to end all old fucken hags

i am not woosey to life, oh no, i love life

i am a friend to everyone especially the poor and i am no freak

the only freak is the guy who nicked my lunch

because he was treating me like a ****

i am the  poor man’s friend, and i am not a freak, leave me alone

especially if i offended your delicate nature

i am a cool young dude, way cooler than the dead duck

ya see, i like joking around with the dead, because the living are bo—ri———ng

i am cooler than anyone who hates footy, yeah, footy

is where the tough dudes are like me

ok, dad is now a little girl

and i am an artist and writer and youtube entertainer

and i am cooler than any ****** freak in this world

i don’t want dad in my head because even if i am living I’m the past

it’s because i am a cool person and not a shy person

you see i wear a hood on my head to keep warm and loving and cool

but people look at me as being rough, they are like real doofuses

or a pack of boring adults

i don’t care, because i am totally cool, dude

the kidnapping of the great party dude



you see brian and patrick loved to party but brian’s family weren’t into partying

and brian turned to patrick whose family loved partying and in the process brian

and patrick were being watched by hooligans who want to kidnap these 2 party dudes

and rid partying forever and ever, but brian and patrick both said, you can’t get us, we are

big dudes, we don’t have no nerdy stretch in us, so we bought pizza and a few XXXX beers

and went around terrorising the conservative town, but the hooligans liked pushing people

to be conservative so brian and patrick had to be kidnapped and ******* in a ditch, and because

it was hard to kidnap brian and patrick, the hooligans had an idea to put poison in their drinks

to lure them into the hooligans car and locked up in their back shed to rot away, brian said

we are 2 cool party dudes and pat said the same, and they went out to a club to party with the chicks

and the hooligans were there and put poison in brian and patricks glass and they played air guitar

and headbanged their heads together like 2 real party dudes unaware that they have been poisoned and

and continued to party really hard and brian and patrick wanted another drink but the hooligans said

you 2 young party dudes have had too much and they punched brian and patrick in the guts and the poison

was starting to hit on, as they fought like a couple of little babies coming out of the womb and before they knew it

the hooligans took brian and patrick to their car, threw them in the back seat and drove them to their house and

when they arrived, the hooligans got some heavy chains and tied brian and patrick up with them and locked them

in the shed and gagged brian and patrick with very snotty handkerchiefs and then the hooligans laughed saying

we are ridding the world of party dudes, slowly one by one, and patrick could see a hole which could break bigger

but was too weighed down by iron chains to attempt it and wriggled a bit saying, hey brian, we must wriggle because

we can’t give these kidnappers a sign he has defeated the party dudes, we can never be defeated, but this was going

to be tough for brian and patrick, but they must wriggle, because the chain will loosen and hopefully they can break free

but then patrick vomited green and red blood and said, boy, brian, we have been poisoned, we must struggle because

i don’t want to die either, we must get rid of this poison in our blood and the hooligans came in and said, well you kids like

the band POISON, don’t ya, but i warn you, brian and patrick, don’t struggle or we’ll ****** you and use your dead bodies

to play with on the lawn, yeah that is a cunning little plan, like the movie, weekend at bernies and patrick said, he loves that

movie, and the hooligans said, brian and patrick, you are going to the 2 dead bodies to bring that movie into the real world

and brian was scared and so was patrick as they yelled out H E L P H E L P H E L P H E L P and patrick said to brian we must

still struggle though to rid this poison out of our bodies, and brian found it hard, but still he tried but the poison was well and truly

stuck in their system, and brian wanted to give up, but patrick said, brian, don’t give up, we must show our friends and the world

that partying isn’t wrong and brian then said ok patrick lets struggle and in 8 days of being stuck in the iron chains that bound them

brian got loose and untied patrick and then noticed a hooligan sitting outside guarding the outside and brian and patrick ran up to him

and through the chain all over him, while saying, you are kidnapping brian and patrick and ridding the world of partying, the party

in this world will never be over, and it’s our job to make sure we get the world to party aqnd you party poppers will die, real angry

mother *******, as brian and patrick l,coked the three hooligans in the shed they were in, and brian and patrick ran off down the

federal highway back toward canberra to show, the canberra city, is the party capital of the world, well at least that is what brian

and patrick planned anyway and brian and patrick were very choosey on who to muck with though they still partied, that will never

change, brian and patrick felt safe in the party heaven, they will rock and roll all night and party every day, and they did

congratulations and celebrations

you’re a lady with a great big smile oh yeah

as big as the raging sea oh yeah

congratulations and celebrations

you see anne harrison is 105

and feels happy as can be

ya see, we are all up here on saturn

and we are getting down, oh down

oh  yeah, we are having fun

enjoying the atmosphere

you know we all celebrate

an old ladies life, and yes, she

doesn’t think she is old

she is105,

105 is the age everyone wants to be

is she going to last another 100 years

as long as she still has her health

ya see we have a lot of *****

to dance and party right

and we’ll party right through the night

as the night is coming alive

happy 105 to young anne

she ain’t no oldie

no fucken fear

i say to her that if she dies

she just laughs and says to me

what is death all about

and i said death means

you are tired of being the way you are

and that’s the truth

ok, we believe in so many things

that can always be true

i have been so many people

but, brian allan is the present oh yeah

but i remember when i get the story out

i can write so much out of me

i can say that saturn has life, ya know

even if NASA  hasn’t found it yet

the reason is, it’s invisible to them

cause murdered children are blocking then path

and each of the children’s earth bodies

are suffering in more ways than one

ya see, me, i prefer to rid the itch

as well as rid my toothless old hag

and slowly get rid of my varicose veins

ya know, i am fucken tired right now

but you guys need to see

i am in the psych ward on earth ya see

i ain’t enjoying it, despite writing so many things

but i want to change the name one day to the buddhist place for mental health breakdowns

where people can go when they are sick of life

it’s a sure way to get rid of the traumas of heaven

yeah, it keeps me alive ya see

i can drink methane milk shakes

every day and night

and i don’t want to fight

cause that takes my reputation away from me

i remember when those young dudes said

hey, man, your the the love shack dude

i wanted this to go on forever, but it became a distant voice

enough is enough, i want it to stop

i was glad they were my friends but i don’t want their pity

but being called the love shack dude

boosted my mojo, oh yeah mate yeah

i felt so cool, but enough is enough

i actually felt like a cool young dude

enough is enough i am not a shy young dude no more

ya see, there is no POWER in being a young dude, no

if the parents leave you money in their will

you should look at their money as their last gift to you

and not for them to be a target for a bullet from a gun

to get her inheritance, no way hoi zei

no, the love shack dude doesn’t do that

no no never, never never no way

but we shouldn’t force the inheritance out of them

enough is enough, no inheritance fraud for me

no i am the love shack dude, forever and ever a people

you see they say i’m a spy

but i say i am a writer

i really hate these people in here

you see they a rev nutty as a fruitcake

and they have no brains

but they are poor

they just think they are giving me what i want

you see, as i write these thoughts down

they say to fucken me

that i am a spy who is trying to bring the universe to earth, yes i am

and this lady, needs to leave me, cause she is spoiling the aura

of what i am doing here

there is nothing fucken wrong with what i am doing

but i don’t want to squabble with them, or get in cat fights

cause these people are dangerous if you run them up the wrong way

ya see, everyone wants to come here to have

a bit of peace and quiet,

but there versions of peace and quiet is queer, dudes

this lady claims people are poisoning her

she is a real CRAZY lady

and needs to be locked up for 2000 years or something

ya see only little babies do what she does

and i can’t understand why she is nice one minute

and suddenly turns nasty, dudes

yeah dudes, she has these crazy delusions that

the world is out to get her

and i am trying to bring her to outer space, to let her sing

but in hindsight it appears, she doesn’t want to sing

i don’t believe she is getting married

who would marry an ugly woman like her, anyway

she’s an old fucken hag, one minute she’s nice

and the next minute she’s nasty

also she has people to protect her if she tried to **** herself

ya see she’s nice but she can turn nasty

and is she just pretending to get married

to try and fool people,

so i want cronus to get into her mind,

but she hates mind games

and she is nutty as a fruitcake

and i hope she falls into the river with the old memories of the loch ness monster

can emerge in lake burley griffin

saying, if this woman is forced to **** herself, let’s keep her alive

i have got to be careful



you see when i go out at night

everybody’s picking on me

and making me feel like an idiot, i hate that

and other young dudes

are teasing me heavily and horribly

as i enter the fucken mall

i hate that all so ****** much

it fucken drives me round the bend

i have got to be

i have got to be fucken careful

i don’t really want to get robbed on the street

because i wanna have so much fun

you see i had friends that say

we don’t like you anymore

and i hear that all the time, oh yeah

it’s enough to make you fucken sick, yeah

and i wanna get these thoughts right out of my fucken head

you see, it’s hard to understand, why kids are saying not me

that i am still a little baby kid

i like being updated with the world

oh yeah, that is just me

but

i have got to be

i have got to be fucken careful

you see i have thoughts that

people will abduct me now

i have got to be

i have got to be

i8 have got to be fucken careful

i don’t really want to get

robbed on the street

be careful youth of today

how i would live in australia




ok, first, i would get the

best low income flat closest to the beach

and i would probably prefer

to live in BRIGHTON

i would bring back albert waldron, and watch norwood play

every weekend, ya know

and maybe get involved cause adelaide need cool people like me

PLEASE! it’s a friendly place for me

i would any job within my boundaries

even if i just be a volunteer

i would prefer to get references

from people who know me, here

but there are heaps of stuff i wanna learn, but i am a person and not a robot

i want to be apart of south australian writing, like i want them to take my writing seriously

and look at my writing, evil or not

so i can help save this mother earth

and never be too shy to muck with the  families, ya know

my brain ain’t no good

cause i obsess too much about being liked

so, what i have to do, is **** the little shy boy in me

cause, i want to get excepted, and be understood

and say to yourself, if ya wanna be fucken famous, dude

it’s better to get rid of the little shy boy in you

you see i hear voices saying get ****** brainy when i hear a heavy metal track

and strange voices that ain’t really there

but they seem to be cool voices

but the thing is, it’s keeping me from what i like to do, like living in adelaide

forcing me to live here, not that there is anything wrong with canberra

i just am having a winge, ya know

it’s fucken driving me CRAZY

it is driving me flaming mad

as i am taking charity

and the woden psych ward

but being here, shows poor people are f..n doing it tough

and when poor people do act cool

they DO, deserve it

sometimes the hospital staff don’t look like they wanna help us

but, they are trying

the best thing to do is, stick it out, and most of all get well

and if getting well is getting you what you want

i can make adelaide work for me

and that is pretty ****** radical dude

psych ward dramas




ok, i believe i am here today

to let people have fun

i get leave every day to keep

an eye on the world

so i can help, in the way that i do

i know people can get sick of me

saying i am cronus and ****

but i do that, so i can save people on earth

so we don’t bring the old days back

cause a lot of those criminals

you can see in the glossy magazines

they look like they ae copying me

and that sort of made me feel

that i have created a world

that is full of death and yobbism

jake does a guitar solo which makes

the crowd really cheer out his name

jake jake jake oi oi oi

now, if i can get out of here

i really want to go to adelaide

so i can be in the christmas city of the world

and i want to support the adelaide crows

and go to the AFL grand final

i also wanna do my art

and profit from my writing

you see i really want to

make this psych ward a happy place to get well in

cause, really, i am still a kid

cause, to myself, i never had a good education, and i am prepared

to do that again, cause

i want that whole sill nonsense, ya know

like i am not mucking with you mate neh

, and i hate people saying your like us now man

and your not an old dogie, mate

and every kid, i thought

were trying to be cool

to make us all tease my daddy

now i was having fun

but i am 46, and i need a perfect change

and, still, ya know, i am cool

jake really stole the show with a great guitar solo

now, i want my parents to visit me

that’ll be kinda fun

but i don’t want to be a client, all my life

and i want to stop phedaphelia, cause it’s bad

i don’t care about what used to happen, i know

buddha wouldn’t like that

ya need to respect kids ya know

it’s just that it’s fucken hard to stop a kidnapper

and that is why buddha tries to make peace with this whole situation

and yesterday, i explained

that about 63 australians jumping from a plane

and i portrayed it as every victim of school shootings  coming back to earth

nobody dies ya know, we are all here there and everywhere

the cartoonist said, this is a cartooning class, not a psychology class or a vision class

i would like to teach people about space travel via sleep, like i do

cause, man, this is ****** fun and i do do a show on channel 44

and if people complain about me

i will say, get with the times ya ***

jake did a big guitar solo which gave a freezing blizzard to mercury

mr ronald speckleton, the 1100s magician




you see in  the 1100s, there was this man named ronald speckle ton, who to a lot of people

was a real joker, right from the tender age of 1, he’s the son of peter and prue, who were

too ****** realistic , and in those days realistic was a big thing with no TV an d all.

robert through every day of he teased his mum and dad with silly little practical jokes,

he also put cuffs on his hands and said the police have me in their horse and cart,

can you save me mummy and daddy and then said, the bushrangers have me kidnapped

in their cave, save me, and his father got out the snippers, and boy was he angry, but ronald was having fun

doing this, and, yes, it was under his parents expensive, ronald joined stage coach road trips to try and be noticed

and everyone laughed at his jokes, thinking he was a funny dude, he was a good magician for 5 generations

all of ronald’s friends thought of ronald as being a fun loving guy, who loves the world of magic

and ronald would do clown shows to all of his chums, and all the kids and members of the general public loved him

ronald tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat, it never worked, and the crowd yelled out boooo hiiis boooo hiisss

and ronalds friends and parents said it’s over, but it was fun while it lasted, but ronald was determined to make his magic happen

and then his friends said, how about if you can put on a regular show for the king, and  and ronalds best friend roslyn resin

was given the title of girl being cut in a box, you see roslyn would get in the box, and ronald would put swords in

the box, and yell, abracadabra and roslyn walks away unharmed, and the townsfolk who don’t believe in magic

and then, roslyn resin and brendan schultz were dragged by ronald down to the sea, where ronald tied them up

and threw them in the lake and yelled out ABRACADABRA, but they never escaped, because there was no such thing as magic

both these kids died.   when ronalds parents found out about the body in box experiment, they drove the stage coach away from this weird life, saying ronald

isn’t ready, and they moved into this town where everyone liked ronald except for this bully who hated ronald because, he was brendan schmaltz’s little brother

ronald was determined to get these tough kids to like him, so he showed him his magic tricks, but brendan’s brother said, he will tie you up

and leave you in the ocean, and ronald said, how about we play a game called tie the bully up, but as ronald tried to touch brendan’s brother

he said, get off me ya little freak, and the next day ronald and all his chums were brine watched by a weird predator, who has plans to lock them in his old fashioned dungeon

and then at the stroke of midnight ronald and all his chums were ******* in a stage coach and driven to  the mt georgia volcano, as hot as a

giant oven and ronald escaped from the stage coach just as they stopped, and because there were only 2 people who driving, so ronald ran back up the road, and after two weeks

ronald arrived at his parents den, saying, the other kids were thrown at the volcano and that christmas, when ronald was 12, a man dressed up as santa

kidnapped and murdered ronald, and cut ronalds head off, and threw him to the sharks, and the head was being brought to the stern of the ship, and

i believe the only thing that died in ronald iwas the body, the should will be passed onto each earth body year by year, now, the should is in his latest life, ME

totally cool dude

the neptune benefit tooth extraction concert


with briano alliano


hi dudes, i am briano alliano and i am up here on neptune

doing a benefit concert to help athena help my earth body

with his tooth extraction, and the first song is i am bop and

i am unskinny, here goes



you see i am walking around looking silly, oh yeah

i party really hard, yeah

and i put gasoline to pump up my car yeah

and that makes me feel all so cool

my selected teeth are leaving my mouth yeah

i will party yeah, and that’ll make me cool

that makes me feel like i am bop, and i am unskinny

you see partying is the way to be

you see i am feeling all so strange

and when i was young i was called strange

by young dudes who were jealous of me

i party in the club with a seafood basket and a coke, yeah

yeah, green coke is what i like the best

and i am bop, and i am unskinny and i feel so radical

oh yeah, i do, yeah

i am having my tooth extractions

oh yeah, that will make me feel like i am falling overl, oh yeah

and that makes me bop, who is very unskinny, bop pity hoop

this next song, dudes is a ******* of our behaved prime minister

hey, mr abbott, why are my dentist bills so high

abbott replied, in these hardened economic times

we have to tighten our belts, and heads back to his mansion

and reverse cycle air conditioning

and we call out

hey, mr abbott

hey mr abbott

hey mr abbott

why are you giving us problems with dental care

you are stuffing us around, fella

so what is the problem, mr abbott, what f..k is going on

you are making poor people suffer, day in day out

and hey mr abbott, how do you suppose to think we feel about it

ya silly old fool, what’s wrong wit5h ya mr abbott

and now after i gave our behated prime minister a serve

here is my song called 15 miles

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving us round the bend

ya see they are pushing us around every day and night

i am finding it hard to cross the stateline


you see i go to space every time i sleep

and when i am there, i have no time to peep

i throw methane all over the dead

brad, randy, mark and paul had a lot on them

and now i feel like tipping methane all over fred

and as i did that, i felt so great

then we go 15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving me round the bend

this concert, dudes raises the awareness of my dental surgery through athena

and i lay it out for my friend philomena

and travelling for 15 miles right on time

to get all the way to reach the state line

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

We’ll do that every day and night

as we reach the great australian bite, right now

and, dudes here is another song, called fly burgers

fly burgers, are as tasty as can be

fly burgers, are good enough for me

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate

they are saying ya little young dudes

you are sitting up too late

just catch a well cooked blowie

and get out the bowl

put the fly in the burger mix

yeah, drown ‘em in a hole,

YEAH

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

then add lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now in a restaurant a fly comes in

and parks on the griller

you feel like going to the zoo

and talk to a gorilla

just catch that flaming’ blowie

and add lettuce and tomato

and cook the fly, yeah that is sweet

as tasty as gelato

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

in the summer friends drop round

to enjoy the atmosphere

some bring coke, some bring wine

and the australians all brought beer

the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back

he got the swat, and whacked it up,

OH HERE JACK

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between

two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now the hospital has been busy this year

since fly burgers were on the menu

people saying that fly burgers

put germs right in you

an old man, a young boy

both died of poisoning

and nobody knows if it was

the fly burgers that did them in

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between tw2o buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun, and have soooo much ****** fun,

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

YOUNG DUDES WANT TO HAVE FLY BURGERS ON BBQ PLATES ALL OVER THE WORLD

SO DO FAM——LI——ES

and have so much fun, oh yeah


here is the next song, called the club is open


you see the club is open, is open is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see the club is open, is open, is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see come on carry me, ya see a clubber, i will always be

the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

ya excellent service is so cool

yeah mate yeah, we break no rule

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

and now i will get this methane smoothie and throw it all over the crowd, yeah

this will be cool, man

and now dudes, the dental surgery is complete

the benefit concert is over

i will fly back to Canberra

the tooth extraction is complete, i am leaving neptune

see ya next time,

tata love, from the oldie in myself

hi dudes

tomorrow i am having tooth extractors and I need to fast from 7.30 to 1.30

and at 1.40 i am going to hawse the teeth pulled out whilst beingt sedated

you see i am going to relax, ya know totally relax, because good things happen

to those who reax, you see i awk going to battle the evil demons like the witch doctor\

and steven bradley, and totally chill them out, you see I am an alien from the planet fun

and I am trying to relax and chill, I know it will be hard, but as soon as i go into the room

to hjave ,my teeth extraction, I have tp delax, like show Cnaberra that  they don’t call me

the coolest dude in canberra for nothing, I am going to miss the art class, wherer i might sell my

art, but i can do that next week, because the teeth extraction is way more important than

something that can be done next week, and besides which, my teeth are totally painful, you see

I have to be with my mum for 2 nights and then on Sunday, i will be back home, ready to face another week

i won’t have any teeth on the bottom,, and also today, it was my birthday and ,my mum gave me a TV aerial

and I am starting to believe that there are spme great shows on Tv, but i am glad I was looking at youtube

because i found a few new shows like brattaylley and the shaytards and also shorthand street, and

i believe that I am going to relax fighting the demon that is  making dad evil in the cosmos, and force Athena

to get help in fixing everyone’s teeth and back aches and this movie is great, it’s called cowboys and aliens

and if i watch this movie right to the  end, and feel my little young dude hands and hooligan feet, I am packing

a bag to bring to mums tomorrow night, and I cleared my head watching prisonser and keeping track on dads next life

because i want the ability to relax when i have major surgery needed, ya know relaxing is the way of the lord, ya see

buddha and athena are taking cronus off to the Neptune pub tomorrow at 1.35 Canberra time, to perform a benefit concert

about the aliens, and if you are in bed at that time, the admission will be 6,000 alien pounds, and i am singing songs that are

apart of the suffering i am going through with my mental illness and helping the cosmos as Cronus, and I am looking forward

to having the sore teeth removed and the hooligan will be lifted, please dad, please buddha, please Athena, could you lift my

hooligan, you see, i still feel my stupid kidnapper in me coming back to my hand, i don’t want him back, and I hope after tomorrow

i will be free, because o am doing this benefit concert, here is a song I wanna do

If your happy and you know it scratch ya ***

If your happy and you know it scratch ya ***

if your happy and you know it

and I party all night oh yeah

If your happy and you know it scratch ya ***

well, I will do that but I will do another one, which  is

Boy i wanna party mate, at about half past 8

living and dying is our fate, yeah i will be ready at half past 8

and tomorrow when Brian Allan gets his teeth removed, cronus will send Briano Alliano up to neptune pub and perform a cosmic benefit concert

you see when Brian Allan was young, his father Barry Allan, was a real old stick in the mud, you see Briajn really liked mucking with the drunken young dudes

and Barry Allan was treating brian like a shy person with Brian’s mum, because Barry was saying, i don’t want to see any of my children playing around with alcohol

you see, I liked some of those young dudes, because they were nice to talk to, and also they gave me someone to play with, and i hted dad at that time

because he was to me, i thought he was taking my young dude away, and also there was another move, spppp yeah alright mate, well to em that means

dad will sit on the computer with his frowning head going down, saying the spppp yeah alright mate and then when i mixed with the heavy medallists, you see dad

had it it in his mind that i didn’t like loud music, but I tried to say to dad so many times, I want to RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE, and I got drunk with my mate Pat and

went back to his house, because, I found his friendship really cool, you see him and my brother Chris, rurally tried to understand me, because, when I was in

Woodberry I was isolated, but i had friends back then, and i was a bit of a teaser back then, and tomorrow at 1.45 pm, i am off to neptune pub to perform this

benefit concert, and send dads old body to learn how to be cool the cosmic way, the Brian Allan way, so to speak, so come and watch me up at neptune tomorrow

while i am extracting my teeth.

men are singing in my head singing lyrics of tim minchin with me

you see they will play this music singing with me saying it is my body

and i live in it, it’s 7 parts  skin and 13 parts water and the men are

laughing with me saying it’s my body and i live in it

you see despite us partying and vomiting blood yeah

you see it is my body and it’s fine, ya see i fill it completely with wine

and i live in the dark side and every man was saying yeah your cool

just like this singer tim minchin, he is so radical, dude

i can have a dark side i can have a dark side, i can have a dark side

2 poofs and 300 virgins, well the men are probably saying to me, tim minchin sux

but i think tim min chin rules, dudes

i think that tim minchin is radically awesome dude, you see the men are singing tim minchin

with me, because i am still a family person, and it’s true i am a family person

i wrote a letter to yin din olin and he told me i was the worst person i have ever met

then the men said, tim minchin is cool man and i said, yeah he is

and this is my earth and i am proud of it

i walk around the earth picking up ***** off shoes

and then i use turpentine to squeeze all the hooligan out of me

but i know it’s hard oh it can be mighty hard, dad never became involved with my sports when i was a kid

he made it up to me as an adult, but i was always a pure cool family person, he didn’t understand me

i liked playing basketball, i liked playing ten pin bowling, it made me feel like cool guy

you see i feel comfortable with the men who like heavy metal or tim minchin like when

i listen to him all the men say to me ummmmm you are cool, ummmmmm you are cool

you are going to live in paradise, with a 10 ft **** and a few hundred virgins

i hate people who don’t give money to the poor, but i don’t want to call them ***** because

i always believe in hard work, even if it is hard work cleaning my brain out

you see we are sticking a ***** up ya **** while tim min chin is singing it, and of course we feel cool

i tim minchin, he reminds me of fun and games with the young dudes

you see i was looking for a way to bring that atmosphere back, and tim brings it to me

my dad doesn’t understand what kind of cool kid i was trying to be like

tim is singing the good book, the good book is the best song, i like tim minchin

i am writing my old body out of me, but i am a person not a robot

a person who likes tim minchin

you see i liked daddy, he was a nice person on the couch, but dad to me in the 80s was a couch daddy

but i had to yell at him to get him to treat me like a family person, ya see i was teasing dad when

i was saying i was a hooligan, just a tease don’t ya know

i was teasing dad when i said, i wanna stab ya in the back

because i wanted heavy medallists to be men for me, NOT DAD, well, back then anyway

because, i believed in being cool, and i got vibes from dad, he didn’t wanna be cool

so i hear all the men singing with me, each song tim sang

ya know each song he sang,

dads wasn’t perfect, but buddha said love thy father

because you only get one and when he goes

i was going completely crazy, listening to tim minchin’s really cool music

and the men are laughing and joking with me, as i listen to the great tim minchin

ya see, there was so much i never told dad, and now it’s too late

because all the ladies in the house come on let me hear ya say ayoh ayoh

all the fellas in the house RAIDERS SUX, RAIDERS SUX

all the conservos in the house say MONEY MONEY MONEY

all the poor people in the house say WHERE IS OUR FUCKEN LOOT YA ******’ ******

i like the bearded men talking to me when i listen to tim, because he is totally radical dude

i am not discussed by the time in the 90s where all my personalities split out of my bodies

so i can choose what personality i take with me, i love heavy metal, so i sing heavy metal with those nice australian men

you see i hear voices of people saying i am someone people hate, but i want to be someone people like

i don’t want to sing heavy metal with dad, his next life betty campbell, will be in a different generation to me

the fad generation was dads, not mine, and i sang a song

not a dime, i cannot pay my rent

i can barely make it through the week

it’s saturday night, and it’s PARTY night

and i can meet a girl

but i struggle to make my ends meet

i am listening to tim minchin every day

he is totally radical dude

i feel i am in a cranky mood, but really i am in a happy mood yeah

happy like brian allan, and i am not a loser who takes drugs to get me by

i have no problem with people who take drugs, just respect my view that i don’t like taking drugs

the raiders sux, because the bulldogs beat them 41 to 34, and the swans beat the hawks

the men are singing tim minchin with me like they sang heavy metal music

i don’t wanna be someone people hate, i wanna be liked for being the person, i want to be

not the person that dad wanted me to be, not the person that hooligans wanted me to be

respect me, i want to be a cool party dude who LOVES TIM MINCHIN, radical STUFF

briano alliano performing on saturn club rings

on saturday may 23 2015



hi everyone my name is briano alliano and welcome to saturn club rings

the first song is, i am sick with an infected mouth

you see i am trying to do the right thing

never put a foot wrong

but my mouth is infected by a caverty and a whole row of teeth that needs to be removed

i have just tipped a whole lot of methane on it

to take away the f..n pain

you see i have an infected mouth my dear

please buddha take it away

take it take it take it away

please lord buddha take it away

i am a man, a big big man, a mighty big man today my son

but my mouth is infected, i haven’t got a son, i am crazy i am crazy

please buddha remove my infection dude

don’t be rude, please buddha remove my infected mouth

i want to be as quiet as a mouse, a lazy looking louse, please

buddha remove this infection in my mouth

thanks dudes, and now here is a song i have cracked feet and an infected mouth

you see how i how i, can fucken handle life

i have work to do at the bbq, but they gave me an infected mouth

you see i didn’t ask for this, oh no i didn’t ask for it at all

you see my cracked feet and infected mouth are stopping me from being cool

i probably was drinking too much coke, i thought it was sugarfree

i could’ve been eating too many chips, oh yeah, oh yeah

my infected mouth is driving me crazy, making me feel very fucken lazy

i am watching the GWS play the adelaide crows this afternoon

after i get up from this dream

you see the feel of singing at saturn club rings

makes me feel like a really famous rock star

you see the antibiotics are working i think

last night i felt it completely went away

but it didn’t, i have to keep taking the course

and i have to miss doing the bbq because it could start up again

and force me to have a never ending infected mouth

and the men said to me, shut up, ya great big ugly snout

and now here is another number called infection infection

infection infection, why have i got this infection

it drives me really crazy, i feel really lazy

you see i am on antibiotics because that helps brings it down

and also the power of athena, makes sure you don’t suffer much for it

and i called out to athena, can you plkeae rid this, would you please stop this

****** infection, from taking too much control in my mouth

i hear my mates laughing at me ha ha ha your an allan or ha ha ha ha your like us, man

i told them i am a man with an infection, and it really hurting oh ****** yeah

infection infection, i am up here on saturn trying to drink methane to settle it down

and i have got a ****** infection dude, it drives me crazy man

i have got a ****** infection dude, i want to bring it down

you see i am up here in the cosmos, telling everyone i have an infection, dudes

party party party, till the day of the party man

here is my next song called called ******* YA ****, **** all you want

i have this infection, it drives me crazy

i wish it will go away dude

you see it’s terribly painful but i can handle it, please ******* ya ****

if ya don’t like ****, it’s just a word, please don’t judge me

as i am on antibiotics, dude, to get this infection out

please buddha, oh please buddha, get this infection out of me

you see at least i am not dead, you see i am just suffering

from weird lookups in my blasted head, i want them to stop

ya see athena, yeah, is a funny old soul, saying she will fix me up

you see my infection yeah was bad yesterday, and calmed today

but it’s still good i cancelled my plans yeah

because my infected mouth, is really sore, oh yeah, party all day long

and yeah, that is is that’s all there ain’t no more

yeah, how cools that

you see just because you suffer from bad teeth and need to see dentists a lot of your time, it still can just mean you are reforming your body, like i have an infection in my mouth which is totally powerful and i am taking cephalexin every 12 hours till the capsules will run out, and if you pay attention to that, you can live longer, and i am not
saying in one life, like you need to drink coca cola to improve your cosmic energy
you need to eat junk food, because it helps you understand how healthy you are
you need to understand buddhism, right, so if you look after yourself right, without
worrying about your past health issues, you can have a healthy future life pattern
and improve the quality of your life, you see the world will be better if people didn't obsess about weight loss, and when they get an ache they say, why is god hassling me
no, the only way for people being turned into robots, is for people to understand each
other, we still have a long way to go, my dad's next life is a girl, but i reckon she is healthy because dad was healthy cosmically, you are not healthy if you think boys are better than girls but it's good to have a joke about it, that is healthy
i am on seroquel and serenace as well as this new drug, i believe in taking prescribed drugs because it helps with the future cosmically, and force me to be very fit
they said i might need to go to hospital if i have drowsy eyes, but he has to say that, because it is his job, i find out, if i take this medication by the right dose, it'll run smoothly, and athena is the god of love and war, the war on people suffering health problems and love being the idea of helping in this field of expertise

atheana is working on removing my teeth

you see i went to the dentist this morning

and there was a problem, i was having a stabbing pain

right in my gum and the dentist enlisted athena’s help

in the healing of the infection, he gave me cephalexin

to be taken every 12 hours, till finished and i have been

advised to see a doctor if i feel giddy, they took an x-ray on my teeth

and i need another denture, as the teeth have to be pulled out

when i say athena helps, not in the magical way, no i mean

athena gives dentists and doctors help in healing, and will put

the patient under sedation, so the work can be done, athena will help you

whether you believe it or not, my consulton for the dental work is next tuesday

at 3.30pm, and i enlisted dads help in the cosmos to make sure i will help mum

with the payment, like paying $40 a fortnight, so she isn’t out of pocket, because

i don’t really want to blame dads death on not having help with my dental work done

i hope i get these teeth out as soon as i can, the right way, with athena’s help

it’s interesting to know if the NDIS, could give funding for dental treatment among other things

the coke i have been drinking, has been cosmically putting the gas into my mouth, and gets rid

of evil  from my brain, and this infection is apart of the evil, which was in my brain, you see when

i used to smile, i looked like i was giving the evil YEAH, like a few of my school friends

and that is when i was blackbeard the pirate, and i have to have the evil out of me from those days

i will need more dentures, i will help pay for it, with the help of the cosmos,

ATHENA, HELP ME

it is may again, my friend

we will party right to the end

everyone is celebrating buddhas birthday

come in and join the fun

a fun day for everyone

there will be heaps of chants

ummmmmm ummmmmmm ummmmmmm

and heaps of fun

what are we to do

you see it’s buddhas birthday

we will celebrate, one and all

you see it’s buddhas birthday

come on party, and we’ll see what we’ll do

i really don’t understand, why the man under the stand

who is cheering for the magpies and they are leading

and he is looking very sad                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

mr purple nickel said, i will break all the bread

so we can all have a feast for buddha day

cause, we need to celebrate that day, with you

you see it’s buddhas birthday

a fun day for the family to enjoy

you see it’s buddhas birthday

PARTY PARTY PARTY

right till the end ya see

happy buddha day for next monday

hi dudes

i am in a good mood, i am doing the bbq tomorrow

and i tipped

kangaroos over essendon kangaroos won

adelaide over st kilda adelaide won

hawthorn over melbourne hawthorn won

GWS over carlton, GWS won

sydney over geelong, sydney won

west coast over gold coast, west coast won

and if fremantle beat western bulldogs

and collingwood beat richmond

and port adelaide beat brisbane

i have tipped all the winners of this round

i am doing the bbq tomorrow in kippax

hoping i grab the second full winner

which is cool.    Kidnapped by computer geeks



Adam and Benjamin Powell are brother's with a difference, Adam is a nice clean cut young dude who likes to muck around on the streets, while Ben loves to have his geeky friends over for an evening of dungeons and dragons, adam quite often teased Ben, saying he wasn't very normal and when Ben was finished he got out his wild west kit and tied Adam to the stairs and pretended to hold Adam hostage till their parents got home, and mind you Adam was very scared, in fact, what Adam wanted to do mainly is hang around with his street kid mates, but Ben wanted Adam to be his little teasie, even if it meant he would you know make Adam feel, like he's been held hostage, and what makes it worst, when his parents got home, Ben carried on as if nothing has happened.
So day in and day out, weekends and after school, Ben told Adam to be home before him, or he'll hang you by the neck till he was dead, and Adam was too scared to say no, and went home as he promised and each day, his brother Ben was there with his mate Rick and both Ben and Rick tied Adam up and held kept him in the cupboard in the room where they played their fantasy game, Adam was scared and banged the door, and then Ben got up and opened the door, come on ******, play with me, I have friends, you haven't, and that is how it'll stay, Adam Powell, and then Ben went back to his game, leaving Adam very scared, thinking his brother was a evil villain, we all know he was a kid, but Adam was still sacred shitless, because really he doesn't deserve this one little bit.
At 5-30 their parents got home and Ben let his brother Adam go and then their parents dropped a bombshell which made Adam happy, because some of Adam's school friends invited him to a birthday party, and Adam looked at Ben and Ben was smiling, saying he isn't a poor sucker, who relies on this small talk, to get him by, just as long as he doesn't meet any of the cool street kids, because I ain't playing my geeky games, so he can bring to this family the poor people act, so Ben went to Adam and told him, if you go anywhere near anyone street trash, I will hold you hostage right in front of mummy and daddy, and then Adam left the house all scared and jumpy and on his way there he grabbed this 7 year old, and said, watch out for my geeky brother, he is a psychopath, and then Adam saw Ben's light turn on and Adam ran real hard, so Ben can't see him talking.
Ben went out and this kid told Ben what Adam said to him, and Ben said thanks and went back to his house and waited for Adam to come home, and when he did, their parents weren't home and Ben decided to hold Adam hostage and tie him up on the shed with his d&d; friends and while Adam was struggling to get free from the rope and gag, he was getting rope burns all over his body and all the geeks laughed their geeky laughs, saying we are keeping this little cool kid away from any street kid, because we want him with us, we want to teach him, that people do what Ben Powell and his mates tell him, and if you call me a ******. Like you told that kid, you will die, little Adam, so suffer little cool kid, us geeks will keep you from being safe, heh heh heh heh heh.
These kind of events happened day in and day out, and their parents never knew what happened and when Adam turned 18 he went to his friend who was a street kid when he was young, he was saved off the streets and both Adam and Rob, the name of his friend, mucked around together throwing beer bottles on his geeky brothers roof, and Rob forced Adam to make fun of his brother and Adam liked that, and he seemed to understand it, so he went home and teased Ben and his mates saying, you guys are geeks, you ****, and I will never be like you and Ben tried to keep a goody goody look for his parents, but Adam decided to take Rob's advice and treat Ben like a stupid little geeky yeah mate yeah kid and then he said, you will be pushed to family life, because I ain't like you, I am like the street kids, they help you protect themselves, from **** ******* ***** like you and Ben who thought he still had the hold over him phoned his friends to kidnap Adam and tie him to a bed, to cut the devil out of him, and Ben's friends were persuaded by Rob to ask Ben to the singles night, to pick up chicks, but instead they kidnap Ben and take him to Robs parents house and tie him up to the bed, with duct tape on his mouth really tight.
Ben was very scared and he tried to say through his gag, why me, and Rob said, because you keep your brother from us, we're cool, and you will be gagged here for life, so if you were cool once, your not anymore, and then the kidnappers let Ben go and Ben was too scared to teaee Adan anymore and made love with his girlfriend and he had 3 kids with her, and Adam, who was still scared, because he thought a leopard doesn't change his spots, still was too scared of life, but every time he saw Ben. He laughed secretly to himself, because Ben is no longer his holder, some say, Ben is now scared to mess with Adam, but others say, that Ben didn't know right from wrong, really, and he was just being a kid, and now he's an adult, and those days are behind him, and all the kidnapping thoughts are over, Adam was relieved, and now Ben is his best friend,

party zone with sue longways



hi everyone, my name is sue longways and what a night we have for you

you see i will start with a great song, here it goes

one look in your eyes makes me feel oh continental

diamonds are a girls best friend

parties are fun for girls and also guys yeah

we have diamonds which is a girls best friend

me, sue longways is partying every day and night oh yeah

diamonds oh diamonds are a girl’s best friend

and now here is sue about to interview kendoll from scullin

sue’   hi everyone welcome back to party zone and as you might be aware

the GWS footy team beat hawthorn and sydney beat melbourne

a win for sydney against melbourne and what a walloping win for the canberra raiders

and ken doll how did you feel about those victories

kendoll’  well, it was great to see the swans and GWS, and the mighty raiders, well, that is a shock result

for them, and i was glancing the internet, and i saw belconnen magpies first grade side

nearly got a 200 game

sue’  yeah you were telling me back stage

kendoll’    and another thing, as i was watching the swans, the warriors beat the sharks and the cowboys beat

thje bulldogs and

sue’   yeah talking about rugby league, you promised us, you will sing the green machine song in a tu tu if they beat the titans

so why not try it

kendoll’  ok i will just get my tu tu

ken doll puts his tu tu on with a bit of a laugh

kendoll’   we’re the bad and mean green machine,

fearsome men from the ACT

don’t try and stop these men in green

or we will hit ys hit ya hit ya, till you see green

sue’  how do you feel mr kendoll

kendoll’   i feel great, UP THE RAIDERS, SWANS AND DOCKERS AND GWS, what a great performance these teams

played for us tonight

sue’  thanks kendoll and now we will go to tina dermott from casey, tina, how are you feeling tonight

tina’   i feel like singing

not a dime i cannot pay my rent

i can barely make it through the week

saturday night is party night i want to meet a girl

but right now i cannot make my ends meet

i am always working slaving every day

gotta get a break from that same old same old

i need a chance just to get away

this is what i say

i need nothing but a good time

how can i resist, i saw belconnen magpies

almost get 200, i feel really really pumped, oh yeah

sue’  yeah it was great to see the magpies get 196 points today, and it was also great to see the raiders get 56

tina’   yeah, and i just came from the sports bar, and fremantle dockers beat essendon, i feel like singing

freo, oh free heavho

free way to go, we beat the bombers easily so

free way to go, we’re the mighty fremantle dockers

free way to go, we’re the best team oh yeah we are so

free way to go, we are the free dockers

sue’  yeah go the mighty dockers and thanks tina, go the  dockers and now we have larry king jar with us

larry’  yeah sue, i feel like old 80s trash so i will sing old 80s trash

last night i was dreaming

i was locked in a prison cell

when i woke up i was screaming

calling out your name

and the judge and the the jury, put the blame on me

they won’t go for my story, they will lock me away

only you can set me free, cause i am guilty, guilty

guilty as a guy can be

dreaming yeah makes me feel so ALIVE, oh yeah

of love in the first degree

sue’  yeah, that is a wonderful song, thank you larry and now here is marcus from higgins

marcus hi sue, and i am singing my song, we’re not going to take it, the lines to get in civic nightclubs

you see we have the right to get in there

ya know party on saturday night party night yeah

i can’t understand why this line is taking so **** long

and there is some weird odour, smells like a combination of dirt and snot yeah

yeah it is the person next to me, boy does he really pong

i said i am not going to take it, i really am into breaking point

i can’t take these nightclub lines no more

my mates call me a little girlie others said i was an oldie

i can’t take these nightclub lines anymore

sue’  way to go marcus, the nightclub owners should allow heaps of people in, but then your packed in like sardines, what can we do

and our last guest is fred from gar ran

fred’  yeah, i will sing hallueiah

i hear the swans and the giants did win

and the raiders and the cowboys won

we don’t really care for losing do, us

go the mighty free ,man, and adfelaide, who are the pride of SA

yeah, this is the big moment we sing halleiah

sue’   ok dudes, i hope you enjoyed party zone tonight. if ya want to meet these people, pop round to the city club before 2 am ok

ands PARTY HARDY won’t stardy

merry happy buddha of all


happy buddha is here again

cheering go get ‘em fella to be ready to shrive again

making people laugh again

happy buddha us here again

you see buddha checks on the women and men

and buddha checks tom **** and harry

and my good mate ben

everyone is saying, yeah

the happy buddha is here again

go happy go happy buddha

go happy go happy buddha

the mighty buddha has reigned supreme

no matter what your voices really mean

ready to pump some iron again

ready to party for everyone

yeah happy buddha is here again

you see we never tell our secrets, no

because if we do, noone will show

here in this place where we meet and pray

happy buddha is here again

happy buddha is here again

go happy go happy go happy buddha

go happy go happy go happy buddha

for now the mighty buddha has reigned

happy buddha is here again

he is making the sky appear blue again

and the devil will get ya if ya don’t get to buddhas side

and that’s the truth

buddha buddha  buddha

no more nuclear bombs PLEASE

buddha buddha buddha

no more nuclear bombs

you see too many people are causing explosions

and each of their religions

are partly to blame oh yeah

oh yeah you will see

buddha buddha buddha brings you

no more nuclear bombs

ya see each religion has it’s good points, yeah

and christians try to control a nice can of beer

by making us join AA

you see buddhists do chants of grace yeah ya see

buddha buddha buddha

no more nuclear nuclear nuclear nuclear

nuclear bombs please buddha

send us no more nuclear nuclear bombs for us BUDDHA

briano alliano performing on saturn



first of all here is song 1


i was a dreadful hooligan

noone wanted to be my friend

except for a numskull of a bloke

you see all he wanted from me were smokes

i liked my life as a hooligan, i get tired of being a total normie

because they end up really squawnie or puny

i was the devil in my parents house

so i moved out so i can reform to be as quiet as a mouse

i am reformed i am reformed, no more hooligan mate i am reformed

the devil is outside of me, i am reformed can’t ya see

**** i like tim minchin, man, better than spending years in the can

jesus christ superstar, running around in my underwear

being a rotten teenager, never worked for me, i bashed my father

i was a hooligan, i am not ashamed to say it

but i can tell ya one thing though, my mate my chum

you have seen the last of my hooligan

i am reformed, really reformed, i will never put a foot wrong again

my hooligan is in my past, if you want it back, your living in the past

i was a proud successful hooligan till all my mates bullied me

well, i can’t win ‘em all can’t ya see


here is my next song

i thrown away my guns, even my cars and trains, i wanna make some noise

with some real life aeroplanes

i don’t believe in GOD, he is just a thing in your imagination

buddha is the lord of all, of real life wondering

you see i own 100 chickens, and i am called 1 as well

now if you don’t leave me alone, i will get ya to dwell in the past

i am a good dude, i am cool, cooler than my dad the fool

you see i jump on rope, happy landing on a pile of dope

i am a ****** on youtube and medication, because i want to be reformed

then shirley temple comes out after she created a storm

she is a good lady, mighty fine legs

ya see i want her in my life, too bad she’s dead and i am still alive

well it ain’t too bad, it is too good

i am an adult, an adult, i work harder than any adult in the cosmos

you see i fell off the top of a oblong

saying, let me down let me down let me down

and allow me to fall on my old mates miserable frown

frowning might say they hate you now, but hate is a very strong word

and whether ya hate me, i don’t care, i just do what i wanna do

because it makes me a happy dude



here is our next song


if your happy and you know it, tease your friends

if your happy and you know it, tease your friends

if your happy and you know it, and i ****** well know i am happy

if your happy and you know it, tease your friends

he will come smack me on the botty for nothing

because he is jealous of my artistic talents

he is jealous that i am getting a free ride in life

i deserve a free ride, i worked ****** hard from the year 1999 to 2013

i need to be given first class air tickets for the USA

if your happy and you know it head for the states

if your happy and you know it head for the states

if your happy and you know it, i want to world to see how hard i worked

if your happy and you know it, head for the states

you see i have a staring disorder

which i am trying to get rid of

every time i go out with mates

i stare at them, i can’t help it

i wish i would stop stare at them

i just want to look at them, because i like them

you see i was on a excursion

to the great mountain peaks

and i was staring at everyone

i can’t help it, you see even my mate james pederson

was sick of me staring

i feel like hooligan, or a nasty pedaphile

but i am none of those

you see i get the desire to stare

and for no reason, i stare inappropriately

9i don’t wanna

you see people hate me staring, can tell

i feel very weird, i don’t want to **** people off

i don’t want to stare at them, it is the disorder

people tell me to stop looking at them, and i make up exuses

i say you are in my site, i can’t help staring, it’s like an illness

i know i should stop, but i get excited by certain people

i look at kids moo cows and ships on their legs

i feel if i stare at people they will like me better

but that is wrong, people hate me if i stare

people frown at me, when i be an adult

because i stare too much, you see they prefer

me to be a shy little kid, as opposed to a hooligan

i want to stop staring, i want this disorder to stop

because if i stare, people will want to hurt me

it makes me feel very bad

you see when i was young my brother used to put his hand over his eyes

because i stared too inappropriately

you see at the footy, kids used to hate me staring

i try and make friends properly, so i don’t stare directly at them

at the poetry slam, i read my poems, so i don’t get in trouble for staring

i can’t handle the voices, what’s that, your still getting teased, i can’t control my staring

but i write this story so i can stop staring

because, i don’t like being a target for teasing, just because i have a staring disoder

i ain’t a hooligan or a pedaphile either, i am a family person, who has to stop staring inappropriately

the truck stopped in the middle of nowhere, because i was staring too much

you see james pederson and a few other kids, were sick of me staring at them

i don’t want to stare, nobody is putting a gun to my head, but i stasre

and staring is wrong

the allan family story, brian’s easy to TEASE



you see brian allan was walking around the canberra city with a trolley full of groceries

because doing that caqn really help the poor as well as the young dudes who were poor,

you see brian preferred poorer people because they were cool and loved really loud music

and what brian had to realise that his brother and parents are helping the poor better than him

you see brian was treated like a cool kid by men who want to help the poor, and an easy target

by the young dudes his own age, yeah the kids played AC/DC OR JUDAS PRIEST OR IRON MAIDEN

really really loud and brian’s ,mate george taught brian that being poor isn’t a wish, it’s a catastrophe

and brian wanted not to be poor, so he played basketball, in which he trained at the woden basketball courts

and he also played ten pin bowling where brian won a lot of medals, brian was a real sports boy, and also

loved to be a cool party dude and brian was passed off as an easy kidnapping target by the ghost of ted bundy

to **** all the family person out of him, forcing brian to tie himself up, brian hated being known as the easy target

ted said, you are tying yourself up, to help the poor people, allow them to listen to heavy metal and not get in trouble

by conservos, and save the hooligans brian, and if you ever try and be a ****, i will bash you, brian, and shove another

poor man’s soul in you, ted said, we need to help the poor and having you ******* protects the poor people, and we need

to let criminals out of prison, you see brian allan, your like us, now man, every time a criminal gets caught, i will trap your mind

into feeling sorry for those hardened criminals, yeah this will be easy to trap mr brian allan, it’ll be easy to treat you like an easy

target, till you realise only ***** do help like this, you see brian, your mates are playing their characters from shows like prisoner

or the brady bunch or kings wood country, and in the process we will bully brian allan forcing ted bundy to die and have his ghost

force brian allan for the rest of his life, saying brian allan, the only family perrso you are, is a family person to a tease, don’t be

liken US, brian, you see brian’s parents and brother helped people the proper way, but ted bunny’s ghost is saying brian helps

the poor by tying himself up and this made brian allan wild, a real giant in the backyard, so to speak and when brian was trying to

be an adult going for a nightly swim making a lot of noise brian’s mum sprayed the hose on the giant in the back yard, like joan the freak

ferguson on the show prisoner because she was worried that brian was becoming an easy target to teasing like this

WOOSEY WOOSEY WOOSEY, and ted bundy’s ghost made it hard for brian to lock his door and forced him to have little visitors,

making brian allan dodge a kidnapper at the charnwood inn and making brian scared that his drinking mates were teasing as brian

say no to a joyride in a car, and on the way home from the gym, you see a kid asked me to buy him a pack of cigarettes and i said yes

and the shop assistant called him a total *****, and the kid laughed, because he was trapped by ted bunny’s ghost to laugh at me

ya know, tease brian allan, and now brian allan battles ted bundy’s voice makes a voice in my head, your like us now man

brian allan is like ted bundy’s mob, he doesn’t want it, but he has no choice heh heh heh

stay with the poor, allan boy

a ***** gets captured in the psych ward



you see today ron is busy when a loudmouth beer drinking ***** has been admitted

after he got in a terrible fight, and charlie chaplin said, howdy and the ***** said *******

YA ****** and charlie said, i was in silent movies, and i think your jealous of me

and the ***** said, silent movies were made a long time ago, and we must focus

on the here and now, ya know, be positive, so to speak, and charlie said who are you?

ands the ***** preferred to stay being ***** because to him *****’s a cool, and

the ***** sat down olly and said, do you know, i am jesus christ and i was really created

by the devil and olly said, no, you are not, i am the one who can tell each others previous lives

and then the *****, said ******* YA ****** and asked ron for a beer, because hev was

chucked out of the club in false pretences, he never laid a finger on that woman in red, you see

they were playing lady in red, and i danced right up to a lady in red, i never touched her

and ron said, did she say for you to stop, and the ***** said, no, buddy, but if she did

i didn’t hear her and ron brought out the lunches which looked discusting, but the ***** still ate it

and yes, he really liked it.   the 2nd harry walked out and said, i am not a pedaphile, i am nice to everyone

and ron said, yeah your nice but i thought i locked your door, because we have a minor here

and we have requests from his parents to keep him away from you, and tommy walked out

and 2nd harry walked up to him and said, boo, and tommy said, my parents are scared of you, not me

and 2nd harry said, ******* ****, you looked very scared last night, and tommy got his keys

and jabbed them in his leg, and draws a bit of blood, and 2nd harry, went over to ron and said

look what your minor did to me, he should be locked up, and ron said, is that why you scare kids

because they jab you with their keys and after lunch ron went on youtube and looked at 2nd harry’s site

to see if there is anything disturbing on it and found nothing, and went out to start a art class where

they write stuff out of them, like olly’s encounter with the ***** this morning, ron thought these people

need to be creative, or try and find their creative side, because ron doesn’t like long stayers except for

charlie and patty, who are being stuffed around by the government and put in here because the streets

was too rough on them, and in the HDU, all weapon like utensils are taken away from the patient, so

charlie and patty are safe, mind you ron wanted to move them to a group house, but the rents were too high

so patty and charlie live in his HDU, ron came back to the HDU to give the ***** a ****** because the drink

was going to his head, making him very angry, but ron, got a bit of muscle man doctors to calm his so he can be sedated

and after the art class with tommy patty and charlie who were the only ones who attended it, ron packed it up

and in 1 hour, he brought the dinners out and 2nd harry had his in his room and the others had it in the dining area

and after dinner charlie and patty as well as olly went to the TV room and the others retired to their bedrooms

and at 7.00 pm, ron brought out the nightly medications, and everyone took theirs, except for the *****, who

claimed he wasn’t mentally ill, he was just a fun loving guy and after the medications, at 8, ron brought out the

supper and then clocked off, bought chinese food, and went home to retire to the couch watching TV.

Every word i say, my mate pumps me up


hi dudes, pump me up

and did you know i was a family perspm pump me up

when i say i am an adult

he says he is a kid

because it seems i am worried about the teasing, pumps him up

you see with every word i say pumps him up

i say leave me alone, he goes neh, he gets pumped up

i say i sit there doing my tapestry

while you sit there smiling at me

and that pumps him up a lot

you see i say go to bed

and that pumps him up

but i don’t care for i need my sleep

and that pumps him up

and as he gets pumped up[

he tries to pump me up as well

you see i say i am a family person

and that pumps him up

i say i don’t want to be a robber or bad guy

and that pumps him up, as he goes

hey, i don’t want you to be like me, mate

you worthless heap of ****

and that pumps him up too

you see he looks like he is running around

the house smiling when i get teased

but he laughs with them

making me a shy person

and that pumps him up even more

i play with the kids, and i say i am cool

and that pumps him up too

you see no matter what i say

my mate will get pumped up

with everything i say

the child molestor gets captured in the psych ward



harry thumping was a simple guy who loved the quiet life, but there was an evil side

which made him grab kids and feel their *****’s or vaginas and tie them up to the

jungle jim, and each day the kids saw harry they all screamer hoping that harry

won’t grab them, but harry grabbed on child and tied him up and then he grabbed

another kid and said heh heh heh, and every time he went home, the voices said

your still like the kids matey, heh heh heh, which was just a voice, but it seemed

real for harry as the force was pushing harry down saying your still a young dude

your still a little young dude, i will keep treating you like this, till he stop grabbing children

in the park, you see you are a hooligan harry, you are a danger to our children, and harry’s dad

said, why are you a shy hooligan, harry, be like us, be a family person, don’t think moo cow and ships

on children’s legs, it seems weird, you can go to gaol for that, you need to understand we are looking after

you right, you can’t go around grabbing kids in parks, you could force a lot of good people to be *****

and you must lose that voice your still a young dude, because the kids are young dudes harry

you are an awful man and harry went out ******* with his father and grabbed a few children

at the park and this kid was devious and cunning and told the police and the police caught harry

and he had to spend the night in the lockup and harry asked the police how long will i be in here

and the police yelled out A LONG TIME, thinking that harry was a hardened criminal or something

and with harry’s phone call, he phoned his parents, and they were shocked, and said why would a son of mine

go around committing crimes like this, you see we love kids and i thought harry did too, and mr thumping gave

ron a call and said, i think my son harry is mental because he got caught for grabbing kids at the park, and

i want to pay you $400-000 to give my son the best help possible, i am sure my son is mental because we are

a law abiding family and ron went over to the police station and picked up harry and brought him over to the

HDU, where ron will talk to find out what his reason for his crime, and harry thumping said i have these evil

thoughts on sexually assaulting kids and ron asked why do you do this, do you hate kids, and harry said

no, i like kids, i just am playing a little game, where i slice their moo cows and rip their ships in half and

every time a kid passes me, he will run and say, ya can’t get me harry darry, i said, leave those old fogies on their own

aqnd come to my cage, where i will rip your moo cows and destroy your ships and i remember these boys who saw

me crawling through the drainpipes, but they did nothing to me there, but in my voices i can hear them teasing me

so i took revenge on kids at the park, and ron said do you realise you look like a phedaphile, and harry said

no, i didn’t then, but i do now, thanks for telling me, i am no phedaphile, i just wanted to get them kids back to what is being

said in my voices, ron asked as the lunches were being brought out, you do realise that the voices are not real, and

harry said no, but i do now, i think and harry joined big harry and tommy and patty roe and charlie chaplin for the big lunch

feast, and ron went to his computer to see what is wrong with harry thumping and then looked into risperidal which will slow his

urges down and it could also slow his body down too, but while he is after kids, we have to take our chances, and until the

medications kick in, we must put him in our isolation room, for tommy’s safety, but ron thought that was very extreme

seeing he likes talk therapy and medication, as it works much better, and after lunch, ron took harry thumping to the

isolation room to rest till the end of the day, it wasn’t easy, as harry was kicking and biting and scratching ron, like he

was a wild animal escaping from the zoo, and when they eventually took harry to the isolation room, he was given a ******

which put him to sleep for 5 hours, and then as soon as ron noticed he was up, ron brought his dinner in, and harry said, thanks to him

and after he ate dinner, he put the TV on in the isolation room, and watched the news, and when the news labelled him

a convicted pedaphile, he yelled for hours

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

I AM NOT A PEDAPHILE, I WAS MERELY PLAYING WITH THE KIDS

I AM NOT A PEDAPHILE

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

and ron came in and said, is there anything i could help you with, and harry said, the fucken world are saying i am a pedaphile

and i am a player, i play with kids, and ron said, yeah i realise you might’ve been playing but the kids didn’t want you to grab them

yiou touched these kids against their will, you were inappropriate and harry said, yeah maybe so, but i wasn’t meaning them no harm

and ron said, here is risperidal, this will slow down the urges you have, ok, and ron said remember that pedaphile label, is probably the press

and parents of the children, it’s not us, ok, so relax and we will come in and give you some supper and ron didn’t go at that point, he wanted

to take the supper into harry, because, the victims are always looking out for each other, and i don’t think harry is safe outside these walls

for the time being, and ron added that, it’s good he’s got his own TV, we might be able to get close to understanding what triggered him off

especially if he said he ain’t a pedaphile, and at supper time, ron took 8 sandwiches and a hot chocolate to harry, and he was watching

greys anatomy, and there was a pedaphile there as well, and harry said, i don’t mean to harm the kids, i was just playing, you see look

at this kid here, waiting for his mother to be finished her operation, now, if i gave kids like him happiness, it’lbe alright and ron said, no

it isn’t alright, it’s not appropriate you see, sure the kids will say yes, but they are really small and vulnerable and if i allowed that

i could be up on charges for allowing it and you will be in gaol for doing it and after the supper was finished, ron took it back to the kitchen

and clocked off and went to the pizza hut to buy a pizza and then went home to his couch, ate pizza and watched TV and then fell asleep

on the couch, thinking about what he could do for harry thumping

captured in the psych ward, meet olly thomson



in the dark night a good samaritan named olly thomson was having a lot of problems

with his mind, you see it all started when he was visioning his little cat diamond was turning

wild to his eyes, and he had this vision from god to heal diamond, with his voices telling him what

to do.   first diamond jumped onto olly’s computer, like he was sending a message, and the first

voice came saying, you must get rid of diamond, cause you see he is not diamond, he is much more

than that, you see at first he thought it was his best mate brett who died, and wanted to save him

and he was saying come on calm down diamond, calm down diamond, you have to remain calm

i will heal you diamond and then diamond started to fight back and another voice from an old school mate peter

saying, it’s a raccoon, **** it, we don’t want any of them in this country and then diamond let out a little meow

as if he was very scared and then linty chamberlain came into olly’s head saying, you must **** your cat, for it

is the dingo that killed my baby daughter Azaria, and olly’s dad said, it’s our cat diamond, he could be brett

he could be a raccoon and he could be the dingo that killed azaria, and diamond was dead and olly said, what have i done

and olly’s parents came down after they called the police, and they wanted to know what was bothering olly, and when

the police arrived, first they had a word with him, and then they carted olly off to the HDU, to get a mental health assessment

and as olly got caught the old mens kids who used to be his friend said, your not like us anymore olly and we don’t like you anymore

olly and illy said one word in the back of the paddy wagon, which was, i am the guy, your mother warned you about, you see olly

got that saying off the movie cabin by the lake, and the police ?shut the paddy wagon door on olly and drove him off to the HDU,

and when he arrived, all the mental health professionals were there, and olly was kicking and screaming and ron gave him a shot

of ****** to calm him down and then when he was completely calm the nurses allowed olly into the HDU, where olly did nothing

but watch the television, and talk to the nurses and also olly got on very well with charlie chaplin and patty roe, who had very good

conversations, and harry at the first glance of olly said, i am going to **** you, and ron went over to olly to ask him some questions

about why he is in there and olly said i am 323 years old and born on christmas day, and i lived underground while the dinosaurs

were roaming around the earth, and ron then brought out the breakfast trays, and then handed out the morning medications

and illy was handed risperidal, which was made to calm him down and he stayed on melleril as well, and at first risperidal was

helping him write stories, fact or fiction and he wrote a story which one of the nurses read saying, olly was the great don lane

and the don lane show was olly’s way to escape his painful voices, although none of that was in the poem he wrote about

him being don lane and then tommy came out to watch TV and olly touched tommy on his ***** saying, you are my best mate

on my pirate ship, and i remember tying you up in the bottom room on the deck and tommy said LEAVE ME ALONE YA ****

and went over to the nurses to put in a complaint about olly and every time olly’s parents came, and at the second they leave

olly jumped up and threw a very big tantrum needing four doctors to calm him down, and then olly went back to his chair to

watch TV and wait for his next visit by his parents, you see olly was a bit of a loner, you see his only real friends are his parents

and that was the reason why he killed his cat diamond, and he said to harry, ya know i am 323 years old and born on christmas day

and harry said, can you shut up, i don’t want to hear your constant chatter, because i have killed many a man, and i am devious and

cunning enough to **** you, while your in here, and olly said, i was the original santa claus and harry said ******* ****, i don’t care

who you are, you are fucken bothering me and then harry got up and walked over to hassle the nurses and then ron came out with

the lunches and olly said, thank you, i can do with a decent feed and charlie chaplin said yeah, but it’s not a decent feed here

and harry said, you expect me to eat this slop and threw his lunch all over olly and he said, is that any way to treat your ancestors

you see i am 323 years old and born on christmas day and my first life was your great great great great great grandfather and harry said

shut up **** and get the **** away from me, olly wood and olly said he was a hooligan after that, robbing banks and stealing ships

i even stole blackbeard the pirates ship, and chopped blackbeards head off and harry said SHUT UP **** and after lunch, ron went over to the TV room

to talk with olly and said, do you know you are ******* people off here and olly said, of course, but it ain’t my fault, i was merely stating out i was

harry’s ancestor and ron said, here is a eppelin, ok, it will control your overactive imagination and olly said, i am 323 years old and born on christmas day

and then said, i could be, you don’t know, your just a lousy psychiatrist, i am the spiritual healer of the land and ron went into his office to search

the web to find out olly’s problem and there was this new drug which can calm an overactive imagination which was seroquel, you know 700 mills

will control your mind, but it can hype your overactive imagination, so we may need to give you another drug called serenade, and keep

him here in the HDU for a few weeks to be monitored, as this medication mightn’t work and then at 5, ron brought out the dinners and ron spoke to

olly about changing his medication, to seroquel and serenace, but you must cooperate with us, because for some people seroquel can hype

you up, and the serenace is there to calm the seroquel down and olly said, when i was a kid, i was treated like an llke an old fogies kid  or a hooligan

and i reckon that i need something for that because, i know my mates have moved on, but my illness says they moved on swearing to never muck

with the old fogie, olly, he’s not like us, cause he goes to bed early and olly said, there is another name he was called, a old bludger or a dole bludger

which could be because he had no cool friends when he was at school, and olly considered himself very cool and in 1 hour, ron brought out the nightly medications

and first to tommy, then to charlie and over to patty and over to harry and then he gave the seroquel and serenace to olly and olly said can i have a coke please

and ron went away got olly a cup of coke and clocked off and bought a pizza and went home to watch TV, and falling asleep on the couch, as usual, thinking

today went very well, he THINKS.

captured in the psych ward

how to reform an evil hooligan



you see harry bernstine is a hooligan who is always mucking around

trying to kidnap people from their family units and send them down

deep in his dungeon below his house, and harry is best known to destroy

human lives, so much in fact, he was risking going to gaol, and pumped

full of drugs, so it wouldn’t happen very much into the future, the police say

that harry is a rotten hooligan, and isn’t mentally ill, and should be locked away

to rot in a prison cell, but ron wanted to reform harry in his HDU, and placed on medication

and he took this the board and the they argued that harry was a dangerous criminal

and the mentally ill, need protection from him, and besides which harry refuses to admit

he is mental, even if by saying he is mental, could reduce his sentence, ron said, there

is nothing wrong with admitting you have a mentally ill, there are a lot of famous people who have

a mental illness.and harry said, ‘good for them’, i am not mentally ill, i am a dangerous hooligan

who is taking revenge on the world, and if anyone like you, gets in my way, i will blow you down, to next week, ok

and ron laughed and said, ‘what from’ from in here, you must be joking and harry said, yeah, i will be nice

to everyone and take my medication, but the second you let me out, i will turn back into a hooligan again, ok

so, ron, stop your little do gooder attitude, it doesn’t work for me, and ron gave harry a shot of ****** to settle him

down and harry fell asleep and ron walked away worried that harry was just stringing them along and the nurses told

ron, to pay no attention to him, he is just a ,man with a lot of problems and ron said, we need to make sure we give him his medication

because i still think we can reform this guy.  ron gave out the dinners and harry hated his and yelled for 15 minutes and

then ron gave the evening medication including harry’s and clocked off, and retired to his couch and had leftovers

and fell asleep in from of the box.

the next morning, ron went to his usual cafe for breakfast and coffee, and when ron arrived at the HDU, he saw harry

was yelling at the nurses for 5 hours straight, saying, i can never be reformed, you see i am a hooligan who is taking

revenge on these mental health nurses and ron got a valiumj and harry said, don’t poison me with your lethal dose of nice pills

you see, i want to rob a few banks and kidnap many people especially children, yeah, i will have you quacks really concerned

because dudes, nobody helped my brother, you see my brother was shot in broad daylight, by some supposingly law abiding cop

and that nice pill, killed my brother, and it will **** me if your not careful, so stop trying to fix me up like your car, and leave me

the **** alone, ok, and ron couldn’t help trying to know more about his brother, and harry said, none of your business, so get out

of my face ya fucken dogooder and ron went back to his office to figure out a way to help harry, and  learn what illness he has got.

ron said, maybe harry has terretz syndrome, you see his good one minute and bad the other, but when ron was going to ask harry

about it, harry said, mate, it really is none of your business, and then said, mate, i told you i was a hooligan who doesn’t want to be reformed

and ron said, why don’t you want me to help, because we are treating you well here, as opposed to the prison where you are treated

like an animal, do you really want that, harry said, not if i don’t get caught.

ron said, mate, you have been caught, and it’s here being reformed to be a person, or gaol where you are treated like an animal, ok.

harry said, i told you my plan, i’ll be good and take my medication and eventually you let me out, so i can do it again, ok.

and ron said, yeah, and you will end up in here bypassing here and be placed in gaol, to be treated like an animal, would you

like that ands harry said, i got caught this time and you won’t5 get me the next time, i will be devious and cunning, and ron said

take your pick, but ya know if you keep talking like this, there will be no next time for you, because you will be confined to your room

for weeks and maybe years, ok, and this got harry angry, saying how then **** is that supposed to help me, ya fucken little **** and

ron said i was merely stating a fact putting it in black and whigte for you, and then walked away to get the lunches ready for the HDU,

and as he brought it out, charlie chaplin asked, how is our hardened criminal going and ron said, don’t worry about him and then harry

walked out and put his fist right up to charlie’s head and said, if you don’t watch out, i will do a HDU ******, oh blimie charlie and then harry said

i hated you in those silent movies anyway, and ron said to harry, that is enough, and harry asked why can’t they have sharp knives here

so he can **** charlie chaplin, and ron did the gullible man thing by dashing, harry, sharp knives are a no no in here.

then lunch was cleared away, ready for the afternoon activities to begin, and harry went back to his room, and asked ron he doesn’t want to

be interrupted till dinner, and ron said ok, but we have to check up on you, but if you are asleep, we won’t wake you.

then at 4 in the afternoon, harry woke up and started to yell and scream at the nurses because they didn’t give him an alcoholic beverage

and the nurses held him down, so ron can give him another shot of ****** to calm him down, but harry didn’t want to be calmed down, he wants

to **** the nurses, because they won’t help me, and then harry yelled out, it’s a fucken hospital for ***** sake, and ron said, life is a ***** isn’t it.

then after 1 hour of a great sleep, it was dinner, and harry walked out calmly to eat his dinner which he hated, but the ****** was still calming him to

stop his ability to yell, then harry relaxed after tea in the TV room, and when the ****** wore off, he started to yell and was dragged kicking and screaming

to his room, ron got the evening medications ready, and did his rounds, and when he came to harry’s room, harry was naked and said, you gave me

another nice pill so i can be nice at dinner, hey, ****, and that isn’t on. i will track you down, the second i get out of here and **** you right in front of your best mates

like i was being locked away from my best mates, ron slowly calmed him down and gave him his medication, and locked harry in, walked away told the nurses

to keep him under suicide watch, and clocked off, and bought a pizza hut pizza and went home to watch TV and fall asleep on the couch and thinking about ways to reform

harry from the evils that lay around him, it won’t be easy, i tell ya.

captured in the psych ward

how to reform an evil hooligan



you see harry bernstine is a hooligan who is always mucking around

trying to kidnap people from their family units and send them down

deep in his dungeon below his house, and harry is best known to destroy

human lives, so much in fact, he was risking going to gaol, and pumped

full of drugs, so it wouldn’t happen very much into the future, the police say

that harry is a rotten hooligan, and isn’t mentally ill, and should be locked away

to rot in a prison cell, but ron wanted to reform harry in his HDU, and placed on medication

and he took this the board and the they argued that harry was a dangerous criminal

and the mentally ill, need protection from him, and besides which harry refuses to admit

he is mental, even if by saying he is mental, could reduce his sentence, ron said, there

is nothing wrong with admitting you have a mentally ill, there are a lot of famous people who have

a mental illness.and harry said, ‘good for them’, i am not mentally ill, i am a dangerous hooligan

who is taking revenge on the world, and if anyone like you, gets in my way, i will blow you down, to next week, ok

and ron laughed and said, ‘what from’ from in here, you must be joking and harry said, yeah, i will be nice

to everyone and take my medication, but the second you let me out, i will turn back into a hooligan again, ok

so, ron, stop your little do gooder attitude, it doesn’t work for me, and ron gave harry a shot of ****** to settle him

down and harry fell asleep and ron walked away worried that harry was just stringing them along and the nurses told

ron, to pay no attention to him, he is just a ,man with a lot of problems and ron said, we need to make sure we give him his medication

because i still think we can reform this guy.  ron gave out the dinners and harry hated his and yelled for 15 minutes and

then ron gave the evening medication including harry’s and clocked off, and retired to his couch and had leftovers

and fell asleep in from of the box.

the next morning, ron went to his usual cafe for breakfast and coffee, and when ron arrived at the HDU, he saw harry

was yelling at the nurses for 5 hours straight, saying, i can never be reformed, you see i am a hooligan who is taking

revenge on these mental health nurses and ron got a valiumj and harry said, don’t poison me with your lethal dose of nice pills

you see, i want to rob a few banks and kidnap many people especially children, yeah, i will have you quacks really concerned

because dudes, nobody helped my brother, you see my brother was shot in broad daylight, by some supposingly law abiding cop

and that nice pill, killed my brother, and it will **** me if your not careful, so stop trying to fix me up like your car, and leave me

the **** alone, ok, and ron couldn’t help trying to know more about his brother, and harry said, none of your business, so get out

of my face ya fucken dogooder and ron went back to his office to figure out a way to help harry, and  learn what illness he has got.

ron said, maybe harry has terretz syndrome, you see his good one minute and bad the other, but when ron was going to ask harry

about it, harry said, mate, it really is none of your business, and then said, mate, i told you i was a hooligan who doesn’t want to be reformed

and ron said, why don’t you want me to help, because we are treating you well here, as opposed to the prison where you are treated

like an animal, do you really want that, harry said, not if i don’t get caught.

ron said, mate, you have been caught, and it’s here being reformed to be a person, or gaol where you are treated like an animal, ok.

harry said, i told you my plan, i’ll be good and take my medication and eventually you let me out, so i can do it again, ok.

and ron said, yeah, and you will end up in here bypassing here and be placed in gaol, to be treated like an animal, would you

like that ands harry said, i got caught this time and you won’t5 get me the next time, i will be devious and cunning, and ron said

take your pick, but ya know if you keep talking like this, there will be no next time for you, because you will be confined to your room

for weeks and maybe years, ok, and this got harry angry, saying how then **** is that supposed to help me, ya fucken little **** and

ron said i was merely stating a fact putting it in black and whigte for you, and then walked away to get the lunches ready for the HDU,

and as he brought it out, charlie chaplin asked, how is our hardened criminal going and ron said, don’t worry about him and then harry

walked out and put his fist right up to charlie’s head and said, if you don’t watch out, i will do a HDU ******, oh blimie charlie and then harry said

i hated you in those silent movies anyway, and ron said to harry, that is enough, and harry asked why can’t they have sharp knives here

so he can **** charlie chaplin, and ron did the gullible man thing by dashing, harry, sharp knives are a no no in here.

then lunch was cleared away, ready for the afternoon activities to begin, and harry went back to his room, and asked ron he doesn’t want to

be interrupted till dinner, and ron said ok, but we have to check up on you, but if you are asleep, we won’t wake you.

then at 4 in the afternoon, harry woke up and started to yell and scream at the nurses because they didn’t give him an alcoholic beverage

and the nurses held him down, so ron can give him another shot of ****** to calm him down, but harry didn’t want to be calmed down, he wants

to **** the nurses, because they won’t help me, and then harry yelled out, it’s a fucken hospital for ***** sake, and ron said, life is a ***** isn’t it.

then after 1 hour of a great sleep, it was dinner, and harry walked out calmly to eat his dinner which he hated, but the ****** was still calming him to

stop his ability to yell, then harry relaxed after tea in the TV room, and when the ****** wore off, he started to yell and was dragged kicking and screaming

to his room, ron got the evening medications ready, and did his rounds, and when he came to harry’s room, harry was naked and said, you gave me

another nice pill so i can be nice at dinner, hey, ****, and that isn’t on. i will track you down, the second i get out of here and **** you right in front of your best mates

like i was being locked away from my best mates, ron slowly calmed him down and gave him his medication, and locked harry in, walked away told the nurses

to keep him under suicide watch, and clocked off, and bought a pizza hut pizza and went home to watch TV and fall asleep on the couch and thinking about ways to reform

harry from the evils that lay around him, it won’t be easy, i tell ya.

captured in the psych ward

how to reform an evil hooligan



you see harry bernstine is a hooligan who is always mucking around

trying to kidnap people from their family units and send them down

deep in his dungeon below his house, and harry is best known to destroy

human lives, so much in fact, he was risking going to gaol, and pumped

full of drugs, so it wouldn’t happen very much into the future, the police say

that harry is a rotten hooligan, and isn’t mentally ill, and should be locked away

to rot in a prison cell, but ron wanted to reform harry in his HDU, and placed on medication

and he took this the board and the they argued that harry was a dangerous criminal

and the mentally ill, need protection from him, and besides which harry refuses to admit

he is mental, even if by saying he is mental, could reduce his sentence, ron said, there

is nothing wrong with admitting you have a mentally ill, there are a lot of famous people who have

a mental illness.and harry said, ‘good for them’, i am not mentally ill, i am a dangerous hooligan

who is taking revenge on the world, and if anyone like you, gets in my way, i will blow you down, to next week, ok

and ron laughed and said, ‘what from’ from in here, you must be joking and harry said, yeah, i will be nice

to everyone and take my medication, but the second you let me out, i will turn back into a hooligan again, ok

so, ron, stop your little do gooder attitude, it doesn’t work for me, and ron gave harry a shot of ****** to settle him

down and harry fell asleep and ron walked away worried that harry was just stringing them along and the nurses told

ron, to pay no attention to him, he is just a ,man with a lot of problems and ron said, we need to make sure we give him his medication

because i still think we can reform this guy.  ron gave out the dinners and harry hated his and yelled for 15 minutes and

then ron gave the evening medication including harry’s and clocked off, and retired to his couch and had leftovers

and fell asleep in from of the box.

the next morning, ron went to his usual cafe for breakfast and coffee, and when ron arrived at the HDU, he saw harry

was yelling at the nurses for 5 hours straight, saying, i can never be reformed, you see i am a hooligan who is taking

revenge on these mental health nurses and ron got a valiumj and harry said, don’t poison me with your lethal dose of nice pills

you see, i want to rob a few banks and kidnap many people especially children, yeah, i will have you quacks really concerned

because dudes, nobody helped my brother, you see my brother was shot in broad daylight, by some supposingly law abiding cop

and that nice pill, killed my brother, and it will **** me if your not careful, so stop trying to fix me up like your car, and leave me

the **** alone, ok, and ron couldn’t help trying to know more about his brother, and harry said, none of your business, so get out

of my face ya fucken dogooder and ron went back to his office to figure out a way to help harry, and  learn what illness he has got.

ron said, maybe harry has terretz syndrome, you see his good one minute and bad the other, but when ron was going to ask harry

about it, harry said, mate, it really is none of your business, and then said, mate, i told you i was a hooligan who doesn’t want to be reformed

and ron said, why don’t you want me to help, because we are treating you well here, as opposed to the prison where you are treated

like an animal, do you really want that, harry said, not if i don’t get caught.

ron said, mate, you have been caught, and it’s here being reformed to be a person, or gaol where you are treated like an animal, ok.

harry said, i told you my plan, i’ll be good and take my medication and eventually you let me out, so i can do it again, ok.

and ron said, yeah, and you will end up in here bypassing here and be placed in gaol, to be treated like an animal, would you

like that ands harry said, i got caught this time and you won’t5 get me the next time, i will be devious and cunning, and ron said

take your pick, but ya know if you keep talking like this, there will be no next time for you, because you will be confined to your room

for weeks and maybe years, ok, and this got harry angry, saying how then **** is that supposed to help me, ya fucken little **** and

ron said i was merely stating a fact putting it in black and whigte for you, and then walked away to get the lunches ready for the HDU,

and as he brought it out, charlie chaplin asked, how is our hardened criminal going and ron said, don’t worry about him and then harry

walked out and put his fist right up to charlie’s head and said, if you don’t watch out, i will do a HDU ******, oh blimie charlie and then harry said

i hated you in those silent movies anyway, and ron said to harry, that is enough, and harry asked why can’t they have sharp knives here

so he can **** charlie chaplin, and ron did the gullible man thing by dashing, harry, sharp knives are a no no in here.

then lunch was cleared away, ready for the afternoon activities to begin, and harry went back to his room, and asked ron he doesn’t want to

be interrupted till dinner, and ron said ok, but we have to check up on you, but if you are asleep, we won’t wake you.

then at 4 in the afternoon, harry woke up and started to yell and scream at the nurses because they didn’t give him an alcoholic beverage

and the nurses held him down, so ron can give him another shot of ****** to calm him down, but harry didn’t want to be calmed down, he wants

to **** the nurses, because they won’t help me, and then harry yelled out, it’s a fucken hospital for ***** sake, and ron said, life is a ***** isn’t it.

then after 1 hour of a great sleep, it was dinner, and harry walked out calmly to eat his dinner which he hated, but the ****** was still calming him to

stop his ability to yell, then harry relaxed after tea in the TV room, and when the ****** wore off, he started to yell and was dragged kicking and screaming

to his room, ron got the evening medications ready, and did his rounds, and when he came to harry’s room, harry was naked and said, you gave me

another nice pill so i can be nice at dinner, hey, ****, and that isn’t on. i will track you down, the second i get out of here and **** you right in front of your best mates

like i was being locked away from my best mates, ron slowly calmed him down and gave him his medication, and locked harry in, walked away told the nurses

to keep him under suicide watch, and clocked off, and bought a pizza hut pizza and went home to watch TV and fall asleep on the couch and thinking about ways to reform

harry from the evils that lay around him, it won’t be easy, i tell ya.

the nice tommy carter



tommy carter was a kid who was a bubbly little cool kid, who used to hit people on the backs

and he had a very good imagination, which sometimes got the better of him, you see all his friends

played fun little games with tommy, saying you are weird tom, you are weird tom, you see tommy’s father

and mother were so nice to him, you see they will treat him like a little bubbly little cool kid, which got

tommy’s llittle bro ernie so jealous of him, you see ernice teased tommy a lot, he said, you are a little spas boy

tommy and tommy teased ernie by making ernie move around in circles, you see tommy was a tad different

in the fact that when people teased him, like saying, what’s that, your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

and then tommy’s dad noticed that the teasing was really affecting tommy and decided to stop being the cool man

and he labelled himself a little quiet man, or a yepyoubigfuckheadyeahmanbop, which is a very together person who

doesn’t understand that tommy wanted to be a cool kid back then but he found it hard to understand why

was his dad changing his lifestyle, ya know changing his way of life, you see tommy liked going to the march

with his dad, so he as well as his dad can pay their res[ect to the fallen diggers, on anzac parade and tommy’s dad

played santa claus at the local mall, and tommy’s mum took tommy and ernie to see him as santa, and tommy’s dad

at easter time, used to lay all the easter eggs out  so tommy and ernie can go to church and then go hiome

and get ready to search for the easter egg hunt, and i know they lived in australia, but that didn’t stop tommy dressing

tommy and ernie into halloween clothes and go around door to door saying trick or treat, this made tommy happy

as he got the most treats and make ernie very jealous and then tommy and ernie helped their mother serve out meals for the homeless

and tommy learnt that the homeless are very interesting and nice people and tommy made a few mates as he was serving the

meals, and let me tell you, that the big annual christmas party was the best, tommy was forced to dress up as santa

to spread christmas cheer to all the poor people, and tommy wears his grandfather’s medals at anzac day ceremonies

and decided to post the anzac day march on youtube, and another thing too, ernie got tommy into playing footy in

the front yard and a few mates from tommy’s school gave tommy a serve thinking he was CRAZY, playing around loud outside

but tommy didn’t care, and started to commentate his loud voiceover to his footy game, and tommy’s dad can’t really cope with

loud children, tried to show his army discipline to calm his two sons tommy and ernie, and he said, my two sons are enjoying life

playing footy in the front yard, and because tommy and ernie’s vdad really liked quiet people decided to have a cat fight with tommy

he called tommy a fool and he called him a silly clot, and he also said, the reason why i do this cause i love you tommy and i love both

of my two sons, i am trying to settle you 2 down, so tommy’s dad went into tommy’s room and tickled him and gave him a round the room

piggy back, and as he tickled him, he said, tickle tickle tum tum tickle tickle too, tickle;tickle tum tum tickle my two sons yo hoo

and this made tommy very excited as he was feeling the very big boney fingers of his father, press into his stomach, and as his father

tickled ernie, ernie laughed as well, but when tommy met johnno, who said be like us, and johnno partied with tommy and spoke to ernie and

ernie said to johnno tommy poos his pants and he talks to himself and johnno laughed along with ernie and tommy said, you are a *******

a really big *******, i make the first mate who liked me for me, and you spoil it ernie and ernie said ha ha tommy is a loser, baby, you can’t change me

and tommy was upset so he crawled through the drainpipe and he portended he was kidnapped and thrown into a garbage hopper by some drinkers

in a near by pub, and tommy lied to johnno, saying he got mugged, just to have johnno walk home with him, because tommy was a tad scared

of what bad guys will do to him, and johnno said, don’t be shy, be one of us good guys, be one of us good guys buddy, and now he watched the

anzac day march, tommy wanted to pay his respects to the fallen diggers and every april 25, wild horses couldn’t get in the way of tommy going

to the march to pay his respects and he is ready to enjoy everything that his dad taught him, now tommy’s dad his dead. tommy still wants to be

a bubbly little cool kid, but he isn’t a kid

captured in the psych ward, fear of being kidnapped by demons




today ron got out of bed and went to the cafe for a morning coffee and spoke to them

about his latest patient, who was in the psych ward because he feared being kidnapped

by demons who are flying around his head, you see a few nights before he was admitted

to the psych ward, he tied himself up claiming the demons have him, and if he told people

about the demons, his next door neighbour will snarl at him with his coffee saying your not a cool

kid buddy and the reason why he told them there, because they won’t blab, and nobody outside

will know about the 21 year old paranoid schizophrenic he has in his psych ward, and ron left the

cafe and headed to the hdu to give the morning medications out and he gave it to patty roe, and

charlie chaplin and when he came to the 21 year old he stopped to have a little talk saying

how was your sleep last night and then he said my name is olly hammond, and i was being threatened

outside a nightclub in the city and that gave olly horrible kidnapping thoughts thinking he would be

kidnapped by them, but really they were roughing him up, but olly knew nothing of that, and the thugs said i might

kidnap olly in a minute and illy heard it, and ran off yelling, the demons have got me, the demons have got me

and ron was not really proud of the drug they chose for olly but gave him a dose of the drug for the morning

and then after handing all the medications out, he went to do research on his computer about trying to find

the right drug for olly, because this drug he was on was making olly feel nautious, and definitely made him

very paranoid, but the nurses didn’t share ron’s enthusiasm about putting him on another drug, because

sometimes it’s good to tackle the problem by digging the whole root rather than just the bush, and ron said

yeah i agree with that, but while he is on this medication he will be violent to himself or another patient or

even one of us, i know olly is only young but he can **** a man, because nobody really looked after him

much as a kid, and the nurses said ok, but really putting him on another medication could **** him by making

him very slow and ron said, yeah, but he thinks demons are kidnapping him, and if anyone makes fun of him

olly will become very violent toward himself or others, and then as ron was talking he noticed afexor, which

was made for depression, but as ron was reading it, it can help paranoid schizophrenics if they are monitored

properly and then 15 minutes before lunch, ron went to olly’s room to say, we are taking you off the drug your on

and putting you on afexor because it can get rid of the paranoyer in your head, and let’s put this bluntly, get rid of

these demons who are threatening to kidnap you, and olly asked when do i start this new medication and ron said, how about tonight

and because you have only been on medication for 4 days, we can’t see why we can’t not give you any more doses

of that medication, and ron left and then went in to deliver the lunches to everyone and patty roe and charlie chaplin

and olly and 12 more patients all came out, but olly started yelling because his meal looked like **** and tore strips off

charlie chaplin because he told him to shut up and ron took olly to his room to talk to him and then ron brought his

lunch in and olly used his hand to throw his lunch all over his room and ron gave olly a ****** to calm down and

then went back to his office to work on this affexor experiment and olly slept right through to dinner and he didn’t like that either

and ron said, olly, you must eat something or you’ll starve and then the nurses force fed a tube into his stomach, and olly

screamed saying ******* ******* ******* ******* ******* YA FUCKEN ****** and ron gave him his

first two tablets of affexor and it might have calmed him down, and as ron clocked off and bought fish and chips and

went home to retire on the couch, at 3 am, the nurses rang ron up saying the new medication is giving him a rash all over

his body, and this is making him very hard to settle down, and ron said, ok, try him on melleril, 3 tablets, tomorrow, and we’ll

scrap the affexor, and the nurses apologised for getting him up, and ron said, don’t worry about it, i want olly well as well

and the next morning ron went to his usual cafe for breakfast and then went to the HDU, to hand out the morning medications

and when ron came up to olly, he copped a serve saying, that medication you put me on gave a fucken rash, and then olly said

next time you think about a wonder drug, can you please think about the fucken side effects and ron gave him 1 tablet of melleril in the

morning and when it came to the nighttime medications he gave him 2 tablets of melleril, and so far so good, and after he gave the 9 o’clock supper

ron went home and heated up some soup and watched TV, and fell asleep on the couch, and the next day, melleril was a wonder drug

but it’s only early days, will this drug stop olly’s demon kidnapping, thinking everyone is going to bash or kidnap him when noone is after him.

the reason why mr bean has problems

is he is a doofuss, top see the men ditched him because his nye party is

jus vinegar and tree twigs, how weird is that

the reason why the kids teased him at the pool

is because he was such a ******, making it all the way to the top

and then being scared nd climbing down

the reason why his girlfriend ditched him at xmas

is because instead of a ring, he gave her a picture of a man giving a woman a ring

and a hook and mr bean is a ****** because when he was

moving the hole in the wall, he didn’t ****** well check it

another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is the real world

you see at least i pay my way, mr bean is too much of a ****** to pay his way

and another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is at the putt putt golf course

he listened too much to the golf man as he followed the ball around town

i like mr bean teasing the men, but at the hotel there was truth in the matter

that teasers only win the battle, they never win the war because at the hotel

everyone was teasing poor old mr bean

and i liked him teasing the christian man in church, that was fun

mr bean was a ****** there, because he doesn’t look at it as teasing

his character has autism, and autistic people need to be watched

mind you mr bean was a TV character, but still, all guns blazing if we put him in the real world

he does remind me of myself, but i wasn’t that much of a ******

i was just a filthy kid, i am REFORMED OR BETTER TAKE YOUR PICK

DAD COMING TO ME IN A DREAM TO SAY


you see last night my dad came to me in a dream to say

i have returned from the cosmos to bring brian and mum

some enjoyment, and dad wanted to change mums belief about dying

you see dad said, this is all a tease, i ain’t dead

i just want to do what you wanted me to do brian

you see i wanted us to g around australia, you were begging us

and it would’ve been fun, but ya know, brian, i care about you

you see dad went on the computer to work out the money

and then put the dvds on the computer, and then went for a walk or swim

dad said, i am coming back, because brian is giving up on life to our opinion

then dad said, i think your mates are teasing ya, you need to understand this

by all means by your egg & bacon roll from rocksalt, and remember me with this

you see dad then said, he is going swimming and said, i did that for you, brian

i really really did that for you, because it looked like you really enjoyed swimming

and the truth of the matter is, i enjoyed swimming in the new pool in kaleen

where the water was so warm, and the spa was also pretty warm as well

when i swam in belconnen it was too cold, i prefer a nice warm pool like kaleen was

i can stay in that pool all flaming day

dad said, that he wasn’t treating me like a cool kid whilst he was swimming

he just was swimming, and nor was he trying to be like the mens kids, neh he said

because dad said, he can’t bare to see me, be treated like a f..n man, and i said

ok dad, have you come back to life, or are you hear to guide my dream

dad said goodbye, saying, this dream ain’t true, i am dead

but then just relax while you go about your duties today

because as you said teasing is nothing anyway

you know one thing i hated as a kid, is not being included, because every kid

wants to be included, i love life, i love to PARTY, i love being normaL I hate nothing

nothing at all, you see i had this friend named patrick back in those days, and he

never yelled at me, i hear him  yelling at me  in my head, but that is the cosmos, you

see i tried to be like him, because he helped me more than anyone else, took me to jimmy barnes

concerts, and i liked him, and he took me to nye parties, and we certainly partied all night

even when i crashed over his house, cause i didn’t want to show dad how ****** i was, pat

never yelled like a *****, but i turned out to be a ***** in the end, because i had too much

creative energy i had to get rid of, and i was a ****, until i started seeing carers, they have all

helped me by making me understand that he ain’t my daddy, but i still wanted to see him

but i have to realise, we are adults now, and we have to grow up, when i am watching chris rock

i am hearing nonsense voices of my mates hating black people but i learnt from the messiah that

black people are good comedians and good athletes, there is a lot of knowledge in black people

more so than in white people, blacks are struggling day in and day out, while us whites get it easy

and i am saying patrick was the nicest white person i have ever met after meeting a few aussies at

the cricket, i liked patrick back then because he helped me understand a bit about my family, to whom

i used to get cranky with, well, mainly he was showing me what my family was doing with them, ya know

the other kids, anyway, i have no ideas what patrick is doing now, but i hope he is working in a top high class job

because i am an artist, and writer and youtube entertainer, when i go to bed, i ain’t like canary bird, and i ain’t

a koomarri man, i just fall asleep on the bed with the radio on to keep me company, and when i yell at my voices

i am basically saying, i AM THE BIG PARTY PERSON, I PROVIDE PARTIES FOR ALL, i have moved out now

so come on DUDES, because going out is fun, patrick taught me that, my head is saying, he didn’t wanna do that

because i don’t like yelling at people, i prefer if i yell, i yell at the cosmos, because bailey from the show NEIGHBOURS

‘when he yelled, he looked like a CRAZY person, making the man say ‘YOU’RE CRAZY BAILS’ and that man who said

that told bailey he was crazy, reminded me of patrick, in the way of saying, patrick was a very nice person, he didn’t have to yell

if i meet patrick again, i will explain i am an artist and writer and youtube ****** and then i will tell patrick, i have always liked the computer

it’s just that i like going out having fun too, i have been thrown out of houses or flats, but patrick never did, so that makes him

number 1, out of school chums who i mucked with at school, and i like the joke by chris rock, men can’t go backwards sexually while

women can’t go backwards in lifestyle, i know we said imagine what lylle would do, here, imagine what lyle would, there, imagine

what lyle would in any place, yeah mate yeah, i am cool, i remember playing heavy metal music loud with patrick, as well and playing

basketball as well,  now patrick, whether he liked christmas or not, he still put his xmas tree up, i can tell you one thing though, i am

a buddhist who loves christian holidays, and i had fun teasing the old army men, who fought and died for this country, you see

this year is the 100 th year of gallipoli, and it’s an oldie thing to tease with music now, because young army codgers are in it

to be there for their country, patrick is a heavy metal ******, mainly liking jimmy barnes and me, as cronus put dad in barnesy’s family

as his little granddaughter betty, so dad, the old army codger from way back can learn the nice parts of jimmy barnes

i remembered patrick singing when your love is gone, and i liked him singing it, but i was looking at his legs, i was CRAZY

because i shouldn’t look at people’s legs, i am not gay, i am a man with problems, i have changed from all that nonsense of my minds past

i am now the new and improved brian allan, but i realise that patrick might not like me saying this, but he helped me, by not getting cranky AT me

i just want to make peace with my good mate, opatrick, because, he might have been ******* with my criime

and because of that crime, and because he was nice, when i saw he was cranky, i left him to head down the mall to be big bad brian

and the best way to get a guy over to a girl’s house, is put a ***  on the stove and you will have every man breaking down your door

you see, i was hearing crazy teasing in my head, and patrick’s voice was saying, is he trying to be like mr allan, i thought he was trying

to be like us, tease him, fight him, bully him around, and patrick still doesn’t know that channel 9’s karl stefanovic reminded me of patrick’s cool kid

to my mind but i have to tread to carefully there because patrick might have been trying to be like craig from kingswood country, he might hate

karl stefanovic, it’s just he reminded me of patrick, what is wrong with visions, pat might hate karl stefanovic, well his cool kid does anyway

and my cool kid is ***** hogan and sam marshall, patrick is a young dude figure

captured in the psych ward ——  a strange word——— something to do with bludger



today ron has his hands full when a person came after tying an 11 year old boy to the toilet

and he started to get these weird voices in his head, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it,

you see his youth wasn’t bad, there was a bit of teasing but his parents think the teasing could’ve

been the reason why he did the crime, you see his brother said, be a oh ledger, which made no

fucken sense, and it could be a strange name because he didn’t want his sibling to be labelled a

pheadphile, and ron was talking to him asking him, why did you attack that child and he said

because i wanted him to suffer for what my school mates were doing to me, you see my school mates

are calling me a ole ledger, which makes no sense, and ron said, maybe they are calling you that, because

they feel guilty calling you a phedaphile, or they prefer to not call a mate a phedaphile, and then ron said

or maybe they are saying young bludger or a dole bludger because you look lazy to me, and then the man got

up and said, i am a bit of a bludger, but i am not a dole bludger, i want to work, but most of the jobs i like to do

are jobs that this crime would stop me from doing, and charlie chaplin came up to the man and said, charlie’s my name

what is yours and he said, kidnapper bill, you see i kidnapped a kid named bill, and now i am in here, being called

a oh ludger, and charlie said, they are calling you what, and he said a oh ludger, you see i was getting teased all my life

and i took out revenge on them by destroying the life of a litte kid, and ron said, do you think you should tell very many people

because charlie will tell and it could make your time in here uncomfortable and he said, i can handle it, and he said, like when

i grabbed that kid, i felt good, i was just about to make the past leave my mind, because those teasers were horrible to me

and then ron said ok they called you a oh ludger, which makes no sense, why the devil was that word in your head because

it is not a word in the english language, and then the child molestor said, my name is gordon mcllumsy, and i am 23 years old

and i have been getting teased all my life, and my brother peter mclumsy is calling me a oh ludger, because he wanted to

keep it from our father that he thought i was a pheadphile, i don’t believe in having *** with a kid, i just tied him up and threaten him

if he tells the cops, well obviously he did, and he’ll pay for it, and pete, my brother said, your a oh ludger, and since that day my mind

was so messed up, i thought he was treating me like a family person, or a dole bludger or a young bludger, but now you guys have

arrested me, the voice has stopped but pete came the other day, and i heard the words oh ludger come out of his mouth

and i hear those words 25 times in one day, i am trying to relax in here but the voice of my brother says you are a oh ludger, oh ludger

and i told him, yeah a dole bludger or a young bludger or maybe even a sports watcher, because gordon was watching the sport when

that voice became clearer, and he had hallucinations of his mates at school saying, your getting teased gordon, we tried to push you over

the edge and now you are getting teased and ron said ok, and when these kids teased you, what did they say, and gordon said, they went yeah mate

to me every time i did family stuff, like play footy or cricket, or even when we played boardgames, and gordon hated that, screaming out

LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, and this happened every day for gordon, and most of the time it wasn’t just yeah mate

sometimes, bullies would pick on him, by jabbing pocket knives into his neck or gut, or jabbing ball point pens onto his ***** and gordon said

LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, and the head bully of the school locked gordon in the school store room, saying

you will be here overnight, **** and gordon wanted to get out, and eventually a teacher let him go, and then gordon told rob, i wanted revenge

on these bullies, and this kid got in my way, and since that day, i heard the voices, oh ludger coming out of my brother and mates, and i thought

this meant nothing, and gordon still thought they meant dole kludgier, sports watcher or young bludger, but gordon thought pete was a real little

smart alek and needed to be taught a very big lesson, because gordon isn’t really a pheadaphile, he was just bullied around at school by stupid

jealous school kids and ron thought straight away that gordon needs medication to calm his mind, so he chose 300 mils largactil at night and

200 mills serenace in the morning, and ron thought with talk therapy, this should work, so he gave him his first dose of serenade, and he was still

hearing the words oh ludger, which could’ve meant sports watcher or dole bludger or young bludger or even a special name so pete and gordon’s parents

don’t find out that pete was treating gordon like a family person, and gordon was walking around yelling with words saying, i am not a pheadaphile, please

stop treating me like a phedaphile and gordon yelled at anyone who looked at him when they watched the news which made ron come out and try

and settle him down, gordon said, stop treating me like a little kid, I AM A RUN OF THE MILL, HEAVY DUTY MAN, dudes, and then gordon goes to his room

and then hears the words oh ludger, don’t be a yeah mate yeah kid, gordon, be a oh ludger, which means nothing to gordon and gordon yelled out

LEAVE ME ALONE YA ****, I AM NOT A OH LUDGER, i could be a dole bludger or a sports watcher, or a young bludger, but i am not a phedaphile

that kid had it f..n coming and i don’t deserve being captured in ron’s psych ward, being shoved on any medications, i want the best, f..n rupert and

then the order forms came out for lunch and dinner and gordon ordered his meals and went to his room yelling at his voices calling him a oh ludger

and gordon said, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, then ron, who was terribly worried about gordon gave him 2 values and said just relax because you

are causing people to complain about you, and the ****** sent gordon off to sleep till his family, including pete came to visit him and gordon told his parents

to stay, but pete had to go, because, he can hear oh ludger coming from his teasing voice which forced me to being a kidnapper, dudes and ron thought

that maybe his parents need to understand what medication gordon is on and that he hears voices of pete calling him a oh ludger which could be a dole bludger

or a sportswatcher or a young bludger or a fancy way that pete says he is a pheadaphile, to make make you feel great, and we put gordon on largactil and

serenace to control his urges to abduct children, apparently he was taking revenge on kids at his school and then gordon spent 2 hours with his parents

and his parents left, and it was almost dinner time and gordon went out to the dinner table and at dinner time, gordon got what he ordered, fish and chips

and vegetables with a orange juice and a chocolate mousse and after dinner ron gave gordon his largactil and gordon went to his room, missed supper

because he was having a big sleep, where he awoke at 5 am, and he went out to the dining room to wait for 2 hours for breakfast and medications, but

he told the nurses he had a dream about being burnt at a stake, because he remembered being treated like an old witch when he was 13 and when ron

came after his lovely time at home with pizza and sleeping on the couch, turned up at the hdu to give the patients the morning medications and ron

asked gordon, are you still hearing old ludger and gordon said, yeah, i f..n am and i started by thinking they were treating me like a sports watcher as

i was watching the tennis last night, but i fell asleep, and gordon still doesn’t understand what old ludger actually meant and then lunch came with

gordon yelling at his voices so loudly and then afternoon tea, with gordon having 3 pieces of the cake and then dinner came, and gordon started hearing

voices in ron and the nurses, and that started driving him completely nuts, and gordon told ron, and ron decided to give him more serenace and start

by trialling eppelim on him to be taken at lunch time to reduce the voices he hears and then dinner came and gordon ate his dinner and then ron brought

around the nightly medications and then ron clocked off and bought lunch at his favourite cafe and went home and watched greys anatomy and fell asleep

on the couch, while gordon was still bothered by the word old ludger, but it was calming slowly but surely.

i feel you are treating me like a phedaphile

because of my mistake as a kid

you see say tom i am like your mob

you are treating me like a pheadphile

and i didn’t know

i want it stop, stop treating me like a phedaphile

i hate it, like i hate you, so leave me alone in your little baby frown

so stop treating me like a pheadphilr

i really didn’t deserve that, oh no

i was young and dumb, in the 80s, man

i ain’t a [headphile

i know i have to be careful about video taping kids

i am prepared to listen to that lady oh yeah

you see i hate being treated like a phedaphile, buddy

because, really i prefer to not have *** with anyone

i hate kids in the ****** way, the thought really impulses me, oh yeah

i hate when my old mates come in and says, you are still a yeah mate yeah kid, brian

then he’ll say, your still a phedaphile, i say i am not a phedaphilde

i hate the idea of sexxing up kids, please allow me to be apart of this world

i always listen to people, i try not to **** people off

i hear my friend working as a snitch for the AFP

and that doesn’t sound like that mate at all

i am a very positive person, i am not a phedaphile, please, leave me alone

i hear dad putting in pats voice, brian, your still a little young dude, brainy

i said, i am not a robot, or phedaphile, i am a NICE PERSON

i think my mate is personally shy because he doesn’t understand i don’t want his voice in my head

I HATE IT, HATE HATE *****, and i feel like vomiting all over his carpet

i am not a phedaphile, i am a family person who has made mistakes in life

and i am not a robot

i am not a robot i am not a robot i am not a robot

i am a human being is a human doing, i want my mate to be a human f..n going

i am not a robot, i am a human being, and dad is little girlie betty

hi dudes



i think my creativity is the key for me looking and staying young, i know what i am about to say sounds

negative, but i believe that i will never ever work at common ground, only because of what happened in

1990 with the kid and 2004 with the cat, you see i am still scared of going to the psych ward, after what

happened in 2013, , you see every time i get myself together, in the work front, something bad happens

even, being famous, i have got a lot of youtube views, and i want to make future posts, but i my mind of helping

people or being famous is very delusional, i want to be given a go, on TV, but it’s mighty hard for the little people

such as me, i realise i might have ****** people off, in some emails, but, it’s because, i want more out of life rather

than being a mentally ill ****** to be stuck in the psych ward, i hate the psych ward, i am watching prisoner to learn

how to keep myself out of the psych ward, i hear too many voices for the work at common ground and i really want

to work through my voices in ART and WRITING, i know i have designed a few buildings and sports grounds

you see i hear voices from patrick, because i am feeling my little young dude/hooligan coming back to me to

show me how bad i felt being treated like a little young dude, the main reason why i fought dad, because i drew

a triangular shape with a stick stabbing through the centre, dad hated it, i wrote on my arm kidnap 11 year old boys

and my carer was very upset, i do want to help the poor, but my past looks like will be against it, and i want to

fight my way to the top, not literally, but i feel i am fighting my way to the top with art and writing, you can’t do everything

and really i am feeling my shy man/hooligan trying to turn me into a weird man, and i don’t wanna look weird

i want to be fit, and healthy, and i want rupert murdoch and tony abbott to give their fortunes to help the poor people out

because if my situation was different, i would be a philanthropist, but i am not rich, but i still give, i want to have constant reminders

in my next life, to make sure poor people are well looked after, like, i see my world coming to life with common ground,

i look like i inspired it, because so many people are willing to help it, i want to still be a youtube entertainer, but i might be

a bit delusional there as well, expecting ellen will ring me up, or home and away will let me whack alf stewart with the belt

because he was an army guy, but i was sick back then, i appreciate the help mental health have given me, ya know chances

to be famous, i just worry  about being kidnapped by people i want to help because that is helping, by placing yourself in harms way

i would like to work on my art, and if anything, i would like a few pictures i have to brighten up the people’s day at common ground and

i am unsure of how to do that, my mind isn’t really into doing courses for jobs, i know i need to do a food hygiene course, i won’t get a job

at common ground unless you can give my entertaining delusion a go, but still that might still require a work with venerable person check

and really i want the voices to stop but while i still have voices saying, that i am still a little young baby young dude ringing around in my head,

it might be hard to work with venerable people, because the voices are driving me nuts, I WANT THEM TO STOP, and i can’t work at common ground

with voices like these, i can ignore the voices reading a poem on 2xx, because the voices will fade as i read, and the only job i could do in the famous world

is probably be one of the writers because my brain is too intense, and it can make me insane, insane in the membraiin insane in the brain

i feel like yelling like a schizophrenic, and just imagine me working with venerable people with these voices, i hear

everyone wanting to go to bed, but because they don’t want to muck with me in going to bed groups they sit up saying your like mrs allan, brian

and as i went to bed, the image of my old school chum pat is sitting up all night, and the image is plastered in my head and despite how much fun

i have staying up all night, it doesn’t work for me doing my art, so i am prepared to battle these demons and go to bed at 12.00, but i am not like

canary though, going to bed before midnight, where i can turn into a pumpkin, some woman doesn’t want me to film her kids and that is why i

don’t put many videos on youtube, i want to learn how to post legally, but i feel some videos are put on with me under delusions, posting on youtiube

like that, isn’t worth it, if i am always watching my back, but i still want to read my poems on youtube, i am learning more than people who are trained

to help does, but i don’t want to help like that, i find it hard with my voices to wait for videos of performances to load up, and i felt better when i did my

own stuff, the medication is making me shake a bit, and though there is nothing wrong with what i was doing on youtube to me, i am going back to

posting videos of myself reading stories and poems, cause i feel as naughty as a hooligan, and that ain’t brian allan’s style, maybe in my next life

i can be a proper youtube entertainer for awards, and i just sit there doing my tapestry watching sport like a guy over the internet, but i swill never

be too woosey for the computer world, because i feel like a naughty hooligan, and i upset my family a lot without meaning too and i don’t want to

upset my fans, and i know i have fans, i check my views, god your a fool brian, i hear the MEN say, i don’t want to go back to LEAD either, because

they teased me like how you tease a freaking hooligan, i am not a hooligan i am a real family person, and i am 45 years old, i shouldn’t behave like

a kid who needs discipline for the rest of my life, i don’t want mental illness, i like to be a success story

party on into the night




oh yeah the party mood is electric

and showing us how to have fun

and with our moon child, a really cool moon child

bow wow oh yeah

we have the pretty lights, this city has ever seen, oh yeah

the man who lived on the moon, is now on jupiter, partying, man

oh yeah he was a moon child, a real moon child, bow wow

now he is on jupiter watching each space shuttle say oh yeah bow wow

bow wow bow wow chicken little

bow wow bow wow chicken little

come on, dudes, let’s party on that sea cruise

you see as we draw the final curtain

and everyone lives in party town

there is an old grumble ***

letting out a really big frown

he has a better life than me,

i should be jealous of him

he has a better life than me, WHO CARES

but instead of that, i work on my art

and party directly at him, directly at him

let’s party at him, dudes

bow wow bow wow chicken little

bow wow bow wow chicken little

bow wow bow wow chicken little

come on dudes, take me on a sea cruise

i ain’t an annoyance in your life

i am not into fighting with my trouble in strife

i believe in having fun

and giving conservos, a boot up the ***

i am into technology in a fun way

so come on party dudes, whaddaya say

PARTY PARTY PARTY

bow wow bow wow chicken little

bow wow bow wow chicken little

bow wow bow wow chicken little

come on take me on a poetry cruise