send the yeah mate yeah kids to bed, 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4


you see i am a man with a smoke and i am angry

and i am sending the yeah mate yeah kids to bed

they have to clean their teeth and have a shower and shave

and then hop into bed like two non heavy metal likers that they are

you see i am a hooligan sitting on my chair ya know rocking and smoking away

i am liked by all except my family

so i ,are them two scared to sit with me

and it ****** well worked, and now i can

watch my megadeth concerts and watch my youtube and watch my late screening of prisoner

watch women stripping off to their bare essentials, yeah i am cool

i can go out with my mates and throw beer cans on school rooves

and i am getting itchy toes, but it doesn’t matter because

i am sending you yeah mate yeah kids to your little beds

i yell you run it’s the only way to be, you see you f..n wet me with the hose

when i was being an adult you flaming see

i am not going to harm any kid, that is not what i am doing

i don’t like old army men saying, they know better

so i put my megadeth t shirt on and i will f..n scare you

because music is way better to reform

so, you old timer, get off ya chair and move around, and i want to see your old man, no more

woosey woosey woosey woosey

i am a big punkman, to play cool for yeah mate yeah kids, oh yeah

hi dudes this briano alliano up here on saturn to welcome richie benaud and i can guarantee

the cosmos is blessed to have a great man, and here is richie singing come on aussie come on

hi everyone, i say hello to saturn

you see lillee pounded down like a machine

taylor was the best captain you’ll ever seen

brett lee got a hat trick, merv, kim and phil hughes were pretty rad yeah

till phil hughes died last year oh yeah

thommo is pounding like another machine

as a bowler he was very fast and mean

you see he will pick up wickets, while the outfielders clearing pickets

and the chappell eyes, have got their eyes on the green

then pascoe is making divvits in the green

border ordered his players around like noone you’ve ever seen

and rod marsh took some catches like healy and haddin, to win those matches

and i remember joel garner and micheal holding cleaned us out, oh yeseree

we still went, come on aussies come on, come on, come on aussies come on

after that small song, ritchie benaud took phil hughes on the cosmic turf, where my dad and mark jones

and tony grieg and rob douglas and stan niemic and phil hughes and many many more, and crocus’s earth body brian allan

played cricket at john knight memorial park, i made some great hook shots, it was cool, dad who had bias long legs

hit 34 runs off 45 *****, yeah and dad gave a methane smoothie to richie, saying welcome to the cosmos, and

mark jones hit 23 off 34 ***** and gave richie a new earth drink coca cola life, which is a drink which will put you

in touch with the cosmos, congratulations richie, marks my name, you will come back to earth when the cosmos is ready

to let you return and tony grieg scored 123 off 112 ***** and after that, he gave richie benaud a methane smoothie

and rob douglas got 87 off 100 *****, but rob said, good on you richie, you’ll a fine player, and tipped methane all over

richie saying, good job old pal, and stan niemic scored 123 off 123, and going at a run a ball, stan was happy, and when he finished

he poured methane all over saying welcome to the cosmos, and phil hughes scored 56 off 56 and went over to richie tippe

tipped a keg of methane on him and said thanks mate old chum old pal for those kind words and the other players together averaged at 123 off 122 *****

and richie benaud had methane smoothies all over him and at the end every player went into saturn club rings

to have a great celebration for the great richie benead with a lot of bottles and kegs of coca cola life, which will,

improve the quality of their lives on earth, and everyone was dripping with methane and might i add malcolm marshall bowled

very well as the official bowler getting 34 wickets, now malcolm marshall is matty b, on youtube, but this game was in honour

of the great richie benaud, welcomed to the cosmos and malcolm poured a bit of coca cola life on richie saying you love life, dude

and briano alliano came out and said

ritchie was the best commentator you’ll ever seen

you see i watched him on channel nine congratulate the gold and green

you see here everyone, welcome this great man

to the cosmos, he’s the happiest in the land

welcome ritchie benaud yeseree

the world will miss him, oh yeah you see

because you hosted nines coverage, of the cricket, well done mate

now what will buddha do with you

come on aussies come on come on, come on aussies come on

well done, ritchie benaud, WELCOME

see you next time, this was a great cosmic cricket match, dudes

now the saturn club rings was filled with methane, PARTY ON, to next life, ritchie

ted bundy traps the people of hawker, last night by cutting their power in a half hour blackout

and the hawker residents are either walking around with torches or simply struggling, and ted

bundy is enjoying this a lot, you see he really wanted to silence the mood of brian allan’s vivid imagination

but brian believes in the cosmos and he is sending cronus up there to work on returning hawkers power

and silence the cosmic criminal ted bundy forever and ever, but ted bundy wanted to silence brian, as his mind

as his mind is trying to avoid the teasing of the past, like, today, ted bunny was trying to get a kid to smile at brian,

saying, your like us now man, because you have an imagination and brian said, bundy, i want you to free us hawker

residents, by returning their power or i will get a keg of methane and pour it right through your head, and then cronus

said, i have kidnapped cronus away from his boy, ya know, your theory of mens kids watch the sport and youtubes

better than foxtel, ya see you will suffer brian allan and suffer forever and ever and ever with the other hawker residents

and you will miss your precious baseball match on television, and brian forced cronus to please give hawker back their power,

please give back our power, cronus worked harder and harder to get hawkers power back, but ted bunny’s power won’t budge

and ted bundy is laughing from up in mars saying foolish hawker earthlings, i have put a dark side into each one of their houses

they are tripping over each other, cool as, meanwhile cronus is trying and trying to get hawkers power back, saying please come back,

please come back, while ted bundy said, no i don’t want it to come back, hawker will be in the dark forever, the foolish earthlings they are

they are trapped in my wing, then cronus noticed some damp ***** rocks which was from the river and unknown to cronus, ted bundy

set these wild waters free to knock the electricity pole over and cause rain thunder and lightning, and cronus put 2 and 2 together

and cronus has discovered what ted bunny has been doing to cause cyclones and lightning causing blackouts in hawker, and cronus

worked and worked to restore the power back, by putting his foot in the muddy mars hollow and sliding down it, and when he arrived

at the base, cronus put a rock in the thunder break, and ding **** the power is back on, but ted bunny ran away, saying ha ha ha ha

i am causing problems for cronus and earthlings, and this will happen and happen again, so try and listen to climate change and

keep a torch handy, because ted bundy isn’t the only evil we have up here, causing havoc like this

you see in 2011 and 2012,, in around the time my cat lucky died, and my mate was getting

angry with his family, and told me that he hated to be my friend, and i remember that Scott

Mcdonald hated me mucking around the mall, and he died, and came back as lucky the cat

where he was having fun getting cranky with us, sometimes when we picked him up, and when

it rained, lucky would blame  dad for it, but scott was getting sick and tired of this, and created

voices from everyone that ****** me off, coming from people who didn’t, and my mate was slowly

turning off me, probably, scott/lucky’s spirit flying above, you see scott mcdonald owns pluto, in which

we call the love planet now, and from the love planet, scott sent voices into my head making my friend

say, i don’t want to be your friend anymore, don’t ring me, and also, scott mcdonald got into my head

trying to make me not understand my parents, which caused me to fight my parents, over silly things

and all because i was writing **** out of me, and when i went to adelaide in 2012, scott made my friend

not want to talk to me, this drove me nuts, and scott, said, i will **** lucky to make brian’s dad sane again

seeing lucky was in our family for brian,, which was a spiritual quest to see if brian can be calmed by animals

and scott, since i killed muscles due to mental illness, scott has been putting images into brian’s head

like turning lucky into a big cheetah or a big moo cow, and dad never understood, you see in 2013, my voices

at work became bad because lucky had died and scott needed to help me find him, and there was a pregnant girl

in the psych ward with me, who was carrying scott mcdonalds next life, cause i was doing what i did in 2004

and i did what i did, and scott used patricks voice kicking the girl, ya know like a baby does, saying let me out

let me out, brian is trying to be like me and this made the young lady feel weird, but she knew it was bnormal

and you see, as i get up, i hear voices all around saying, your shy brian, shut up woosey and the reason why i say

it was scott/lucky’s ghost because my friend didn’t hate, and also, scott put tabs on my phone, making it ring every

5 minutes making me write tickle tickle tim tum which got recorded on the telephone answer, and now, i can only

make calls, and not receive calls, because scott made andrew jarvis ring me up every day, and dad put a stop to that

with a bit of science from the third realm and while all this body problems, dad is on cloud 9, nursing lucky

saying, you can go off to the love planets, i have no idea if that lady’s baby survived or not, but buddha doesn’t want me to know that

but for dad, buddha wanted me to follow dads next life in instagram, saying, you know, nobody else

because, buddha said, we need to have your fathers next life protected, and you must never know who lucky is

unless fate brings you to him, you see the voices were really making me worked up, because i was keeping fit, 2004 and 2013

and the psych ward off i go, and instead of inning i do a brisk walk, which will keep me fit, you see as i write, i hear the negative me

from the 1990s calling out to me, GET ****** BRIAN, you are a little shy boy now brian, and many other things, like the time

i threw a spider on mum, she jumped, and i remember dad had a little laugh about that, with me, i remember i was swimming in the

pool, and mum squirted the fucken hose on me, because i was too fucken too noisy and i remember lucky being stuck up the trees

for a couple of days and scott’s spirit who was in lucky, previous life, ya know, well scott was getting sick of having his earth body with me, because

of my negativity because i was fat and i think scott mcdonald’s soul is in the young woman, if he or she survived

you see, i like partying, these celebrities ain't partying, they are popping pills

in the wrong way, you see i have thoughts that athena heals me in my sleep
and sometimes those pills could help, but really dudes paracetaol is good, it's just

that that people want to be so ****** perfect, like, i just woke up from a dream

where an old mate named james taught me all the mistakes i made when i was young

and a bit of mum and dad was thrown into the conversation, when i wasn't paying much attention to what james was actually saying, you see i know i was a crazy *******
but that doesn't mean i approve of their partying, but a lot of people don't approve of my partying,  but i don't care, athena is helping me, with coke and paracetamol and fluoride
and seroquel and serenace, some people hate partying because they are too old, i just
say, hi, old i am brian and partying is going to community events and dancing by the stage
and i know, that looking and examining this documentary, it shows hos partying can lead
to rotten religion, but i believe in rotten religion i believe if you wanna have ***, go ahead and have ***, and if you like to party into the night, go ahead, just because you
party doesn't mean you ain't grown up. it just means i like partying and another thing

i am a grown up dude, i loves to party, with coca cola, you see i feel my voices are

trying to make me a fucken moral citizen, what is the hell wrong with partying at community events, my motto is learn about your drug your taking, saying, do you really
want this kinda life that the drug will provide for you and stay with partying with sugar or alcohol and leave illegal drugs alone, paracetamol is a pill you take to release pain
and if you believe it, send spiritual healer athena to you

ATHENA WORKS WONDER, take paracetamoil
let's party at community events
you don't have to look like you party, just say, at least i am out
i don't want to be the kind of old dogie who says no to going out partying
well, i don't think much of nightclubs anymore

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB at easter


today it’s good friday and bob delahunty was going to church to have a

hot cross bun feast, and a hungry poor buddhist was going into the church

and asked bob, why do the christians like to eat over easter, what is it all about

and bob said, it’s a time where families, forget about their differences and share

a big celebration, with hot cross buns today after their service and then on easter

they will host family get togethers, where the kids are forced to hunt for eggs

that the parents hid in the garden, it is a very good day, and the buddhist man said

why can’t christians be nice to each other every day, like us buddhists ands bob said,

well, i guess your right, but life hands us problems to fix, like divorce and family quarrels

and battles that can’t be resolved, you see we are always away from loved ones and easter

is a way to keep updated on where our loved ones are, and then the buddhist asked bob

why can’t they scype every night and then bob said, buddy, no person really wants to do that,

actually, it is great to give families fun at easter, like sending kids on easter hunts, how radical dude

and have great hot cross bun morning teas, where we all can feast, yeah, if we did these things every day

we would get so fat, and kids will be so greedy, and we need every city in the land to pop

open the champagne corks, saying HAPPY EASTER DUDES, AND TO ALL A HAPPY FEASTING

you see easter if you add an f, could mean, the annual feaster, but we took the f away to make you feel great

and then the buddhist said, ok but what if you were fasting in a remote country and you had to knock

back the hot cross buns and easter eggs and bob said ok, yeah, if your fasting you must say no, i am on a diet

and the buddhist said, what if you went to a nightclub and got heavily ******, from vodkas and rums etc etc

and get too drunk on easter saturday, are you still expected to roll up to family get togethers on easter sunday

and bob said yes, then the buddhist said, how do you cope, HOW THE **** DO YOU COPE

this is how, you sing

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

especially round easter time where drinking may send you back and forwards to the sink spewing

and the buddhist asked bob one thing, before he went to tiabet, he asked, is there really such thing as a devil

because every night i drink a whole bottle of wine by myself and bob said, well if the devil was grog i think

i am the devil, cause, grog is my cup of tea

and the buddhist went home and bob left saying this one word, misbehave, everyone who drinks grog misbehaves

and there is nothing wrong with that, bob said happy easter and went back to the devil’s hideout and the buddhist blessed him

saying, the devil, there is no such thing

THE FUN AT EASTER



i feel that easter is the best time of year,

you see we give eggs to all the kiddies

and we play easter egg finding games

and don’t forget Mr Chickadee will run right up

and catch 15 easter eggs and 27 chicken baskets

with a lot of syrup inside it

yeah, what about the chocolate

it is so tasty, as, i love it, you love it, we can all love it, woo

let’s party, let’s party, pop a few champagne corks

and when we finish we throw the bottle on the ground, glass shatters

and the people yell out a big ****

It’s hard to understand why do people eat chocolate at easter

i don’t understand why people suffer with weight gain at easter

i understand that easter is the most desirable time of the whole calendar year

hop hop goes the bunny

hop hop goes the bunny

yeah, mr bunny goes hop

hop hop goes the bunny

yeah mr bunny

the mighty bunny goes hop

you see there are so many people

who wish each other a very happy easter, *******

happy easter from the bunny

the bunny is extremely funny

ha ha ha, the mighty easter bunny is funny

THE TRUE STORY OF THE EASTER BUNNY



you see, way back in the 1300s, there was this man who bred rabbits, and he was dedicated to his job, so much in fact,

he would go about starting to dress up as a colourful bunny around April every year, around the full moon, and on the

evening of easter Saturday, this man, would take off in his rundown jet plane to deliver hand painted eggs, painted by himself

to all the boys and girls of this land, and if each kid was very good, he will give the one of the kids a very rare chocolate bunny

which was very hard to find in these times, every kid pushed each other over to be the chosen one for this delicious bunny, and

the man dresses all the rabbits of the land, in colourful clothes and a easter bell around their necks, to warn the foxes that

can lurk about, you see on this man’s route were 345 houses to deliver each egg to, and some of the kids were still up, and he was

nice to them, giving them 3 eggs instead of 2, you see he always over-packs, because each kid wanted to stay up for the

arrival of the easter bunny-man, as he arrived at their houses, and maybe, that is the reason why it was a nightmare to get

the kids to go to bed now, well they do go to bed, but the easter bunny-man made the kids so happy, the kids went to bed

when he left, after that he dropped in at various inns around the town to deliver the painted eggs to each patron drinking in the inns

and mind you, he had a lot of great stories to tell each patron in the inn, about his wonderful adventures.     then he drove off toward

the two farms of the town, and in the 1300s, the farms housed mostly poor people, ya know people doing it tough, so to speak, and

he dropped his easter eggs to the farmers and their kids and performed a few songs for the farmers like “candyman” and a rhyme which was

easter easter what’ll we do

give an egg to me and i will give one rot you

you see i am happy to really make you

the happiest farmer this easter will produce

you see these are painted eggs, i like them yeah

the colours are beautiful, really, i swear

come on kiddies try and grab more

easter easter how are you

and he played many many more easter related songs and rhymes, and the farmers liked to call him the rabbit *******, and he had a great night

as he did this every easter saturday, and at 5 am on easter Sunday morning, he finished his route and and spent easter sunday with his family,

and whether you believe this story or not, this is how easter started in my eyes

HAPPY EASTER FELLAS

we need security


after a horrific home invasion in which joan lost everything, joan decided that she needs

to install a very strong security alarm, to make sure, she and robert are safe, while the home invasion was on

robert was at a ten pin bowling tournament, and robert was annoying everyone saying where’s mum

where’s mum, where the hell is my mum, as robert won the high game trophy, and whilst he was there joan had to

sit out the home invasion, and when it was over she rang up the bowling people, to explain why shy isn’t there

and this forced robert to ask a heap of silly questions, like why did they rob us, what did they get, are we getting strong security

and that night, joan had a catering job, and robert was spending the whole day on the net looking at security systems

and driving joan completely bonkers, ya know, we must get a security system which has a loud signal, which could wake up the street

so other people will know, and call the police in to catch the culprit hands down, and robert also found a security alarm

which traps the intruder, and joan asked, robert, have you ever seen home improvement, ya know, we watched it a lot in the 90s

he put a security system in his home, and it woke up his neighbours the wrong way, but it tracked down an inside job from son, brad

and robert said, yeah, who was brad, anyway and joan liked the simple one, which alerts the police when an intruder is in the homer

and after a hectic day with robert looking at security systems, joan took robert with him, so she can drop robert off at dance class whilst

she works at a wealthy house on the corner of town, and when she arrived there, the man said, where have you been, we have been waiting half a ****** hour

and joan said, i had a terrible home invasion, and i had my son robert in my ear about getting the best security system, and i wanted simple security

and the mnan gave in on the fight saying, your poor, why would anyone rob you, and joan just went into the kitchen to start her job and a text on her phone

said that robert is being naughty, slapping the females on the ***, ya know annoying them and joan couldn’t leave, so she rang her lonely sister Alice to

drive over to the dance class to pick him up, and when alice got there, robert had settled down, so alice had to wait, till the end of the class and when it was over

alice was left with having to babysit robert because, joan worried about all the phone calls or texts that she gets, explaining robert is naughty, and when robert and alice got home

robert said, we must turn off the security first, and get in the house, and when he goes to bed, put the security alarm back on, alice and robert watched

parenthood and greys anatomy and after that was over, alice put robert to bed, but this was a hard case, it made robert hit alice, accidentally but robert hates the idea

of lashing out at authority and then joan finished her catering job and went home to see if robert had given alice a hard time, and when joan got home, alice said, robert

was lashing out at her, probably he didn’t want to go to bed or something and joan said to alice she could go, and went straight to bed and at 4.56 in the morning robert was

scared of the dark and wanted to hop in the same bed as his mother, and this drove joan completely nuts and the next morning, joan got robert ready for work with robert

constantly saying, i was good last night, alice was nice, can i have alice every night you work and joan said if your good, i will try to to get alice to look after you when i am working

and then robert gave joan a big kiss, and they got in the car to send robert to work

work


joan barimaster, is having a hard week where she has 14 catering jobs and an annoying son, you

see robert was saying, i will be famous, i want to be a famous person, but joan was getting tired of this

and had to ring up diswork, which was a workplace that gave people like robert a chance to work in the

community and when joan tried to explain it to robert, robert would say, i want to help you, mummy

i want to help you mummy, but joan wanted to have some peace and getting robert into a job like this

will be perfect, you see joan told the boss, she has every faith in robert to do this work, and the boss said

how about we start robert next Monday, he can join our building site team, it might be up his alley

and after we finish, we will keep him with us, until you are ready to pick him up, and joan said, will he get bored

ya know, if you finish early, so to speak and the boss said, no, we will make sure we are really nice to him

and robert said, no, mum, i wanna help you, i don’t want to work with other people with my abilit, i have the

ability to help you, please mum, can you help me, and joan said, let’s go home, you see i have a busy life

and i need some time to myself, so you must do this thing for me and then robert really yelled at joan saying

what if it’s not the type of job that i want, what if, working with you, makes me feel happy, you know, you

shouldn’t ***** with things that work, and joan said, you only got that off becker, ok, i need you to do this work

so i can organise my business, ok, you can still help, but i need most mornings just to organise myself and robert said

what will i do, ands joan said, just work in the community, which is ****** important, and whilst doing that, i will organise

all my jobs, and robert said, you just want me to find a girlfriend, so you can walk me down the aisle and we can invite the

whole family to welcome my new lady love to the family and joan said yeah, but i also need some time to myself, i am getting old

and i can’t have you under my feet in the morning joan said, and on that monday morning, robert started work, and he worked very hard

but he refused to wear a helmet on site, and there was a bit of friction between him and his boss, but that blew over in 20 minutes

after realising it’s dangerous to work without a helmet and robert was the hardest worker there, but the boss, thought he worked so hard

that, the boss wanted him to work at the new homeless shelter, run by the city’s community centre, and robert was delighted, especially

after he told his mum, saying, he will be working as part of a homeless shelter, how cools that, he understood, and at the end of the day

when joan picked up robert, the boss told joan all about how hard robert worked and also told that he wants robert to take part in a homeless

person project which robert was happy with, and joan said to robert, are you sure you want to do this, and robert said, yeah yeah please mummy yeah

and the next few days robert has been going to bed and getting up for work, going to bed and getting up for work, day in and day out and robert was

getting tired from this work, too tired to go to her mums catering job, but he had to, and slept on the couch in the den, mind you this was the best

thing for robert and at the end of robert’s first week at work, joan and robert had dinner in the club, and robert was tired and took his medication

and went to bed

the dream



joan barimaster was a very independent woman, who wanted everything to be perfect, and she lives

with her 34 year old autistic son named robert, which can be a complete nightmare, because robert was

always asking questions like a eager to learn teenager, well maybe at first, but as he repeats and repeats

the same quotation over and over again, joan was totally sick of it, like this morning robert was telling joan

all about his dream last night, saying, are dreams the force of reality, and joan said, well yeah, if you want them

to come true, they’ll come true, but we really shouldn’t look to deeply into this dream, but robert said

well, i dreamt i was a star of the musical named joseph and the amazing technicolour dream coat and

robert was joseph, and joan said, dreams are all the gunk from your head trying too get out, and robert said

oh silly mum, that isn’t the cause of dreams, i must be healthy if that is the truth, because i dream all the time

and robert was asking joan twenty times over and over again, i am joseph, i am joseph i am joseph

i really am joseph, and then robert sang, i closed my eyes and drew back the curtain to see for certain

what i thought i knew, and robert sang that over and over again, driving joan completely nuts and

robert said, ok mummy, how about we go to the drama group and joan was busy and had to rush

which was a total disaster, first of all, joan had to get robert into the car, with robert being completely hard

to bare, asking stupid questions all the time, he was saying i am joseph i am joseph i am joseph

i closed my eyes drew back the curtain, to see for certain, what i thought i knew, and he was singing

the song ever so loud, making joan say in harsh loud words SHUT UP, but robert said, this is a dream of mine,

i am playing joseph, i am joseph, and that is my coat, when they arrived at the drama group, joan let robert out of the car

and didn’t move until someone brought him in, and that came in 6 minutes, and joan left, to go back home to do some work

now, joan has her own business in catering, and unless robert has to be somewhere, was always with joan, mind you

robert was never in the way really, it was just a little too much listening to him yack all the time about being joseph

and when joan picked robert up from drama group, robert said, i am joseph, they said i had real potential to be joseph

and joan said, really, that is good, robert, and joan went to this house on the rich end of town, to cater for a party and

robert went with her and started chatting up one of the female guests who liked the idea of robert playing joseph in a play

and she said she really loved that musical, and when robert sang the song, suddenly he was given guidance of the rest

of the song because this guest knew every word of the song and this made robert very happy, and then robert was told to *******

by the host of the party, and robert said, WHY DON’T YA UNDERSTAND, I LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER, I WANT TO MARRY HER

and joan, who was in the middle of preparing the meal, went out and said, robert, you have to quieten down, buddy, because

this man is one of my clients, ok, if i stuff anything up, i might lose this client and not get paid, and the host said, just keep your

son away from us, and joan put robert in the laundry, and this laundry was very interesting for robert, you see 2 washing machines

and 3 tumble dryers, and he played with the dryers and that made the host very mad, saying to joan, don’t bring your poor son to your jobs’

because he is stuffing us up, ruining our party, ok, i put in a lot of hard work, to be able to afford to have you cater for us, and having your

****** disabled son with you, is totally stupid, and joan said, nobody ever calls my son a ****** ok, and i don’t really need your money

so i will just leave you, to finish and me and robert will go home, he can’t be trusted at home, and the host said, what kind of mother are you

for letting your son dominate and joan said, i will cook these meals, so i can take your money for that, but you can wash and dry up yourself

you see, buddy it comes in a package, me and my son, ok, if you can’t except this, you can go and get ******, because i love my son robert, ya see

and joan got robert inside her house and said to robert, you were bad tonight, you know mummy wants to make a business with catering and robert

said, yeah i found that funny but Joan said, no, it wasn’t funny, catering is hard work, impressing people is hard work, you are hard work, but i am coping

and robert said when is drama on again, i am joseph, and that is what his lifelong dream was, to be joseph, and dance with pretty babes

and joan gave robert his medication and robert and joan both went to bed to be ready for the next day

people die, and come back to life, the previous lives they had, might have gone nastily but still…..



you see, have you often worried why young dudes, who were born in the 60s 70s and 80s, how they

are very selfish, and other things like that, well, it could be the tragic deaths of how they finished their lives

you see one person was john f kennedy and another was martin luther king, another was marilyn monroe

and another was john lennon, and another was tupac, and i was greame thorne, and i was blackbeard the pirate

and captain cook, you see the paranormal world traps all the young, and greame thorne and the life before him

patrick dunbar, have been keeping my legs itching, and making me play cool for yeah mate yeah kids, and

forcing me to be that shy young dude, even if i know how to speak on stage, i am forcing myself into relaxation

so, i can easily, one day i can be an MC, or bring my santa claus character to the next level, you see i was st nicholas

as well, and i also was isabella of france, mate, there are a lot of brutal murders in the past, which could be the

reason, why a lot of today’s earth bodies are selfish, thinking, their last lives were treated so badly, they will take out

revenge on the world, and greame thorne and patrick dunbar and albert waldron are pushing my feet down to the floor

to make it feel like a hooligan or a little young dude, ya know, they were saying, don’t get bullied mate, be a hooligan

you see greame thorne was worried how i was getting teased at school and made me tie myself up very tightly

and i wanted to be a TV star, but my dad was an old fogie, who, hates young people misbehaving, i like the young dudes on TV

they are cool, and i was in two plays as an adult and a few school plays, they were cool, you see, anyone who was killed, ya see

they get their bones dug up, but the should is in the youth of today, like patrick dunbar and greame thorne are with me, which forced

me to be a kidnapper, i was the 323 year old man born on christmas day, i was blackbeard the pirate, i was bigfoot who was the illusion

of the loch ness monster, you see i was a reincarnation hooligan, but people are treating me like a shy hooligan, the feeling comes about

because i tried to be a kid, to avoid being kidnapped when i was drinking and throwing beer bottles on top of st matthews roof

the medication i am on, is pushing me down on the floor, making me feel dad was doing it, but it was steven bradley sand all the other

bad guys, and because i was blackbeard the pirate and bigfoot and a vicious dog, i am being told i am not a family person, since i tied

up a boy in 1990, i caused a lot of trouble as blackbeard and bigfoot, and this dog was really my last evil life which was killed, you see i

am not evil in this life, and big foot turned into the loch ness monster, i am working in all these lives, to make the world easier to live in

if i had a million, i could use it to take homeless people off the street, and try and stop the hooligan itchy feet push down

I WANNA BE FAMOUS, in what i can do,   I AM NOT SHY, MY REINCARNATION HOOLIGAN, is striking again

the raiders show, full time report, 21 march 2015, we ****



as we draw the final curtain, the raiders **** again

it was a great start but then they faded away

just like they usually do

you see the raiders were woeful, especially in the 2nd half

no i am discusted oh yeah

it was the worst match, back to the old drawing board


johnny’  thanks and what a woeful performance in the end, by the raiders, and it actually is a hard

job picking the raider of the match, only one raider scored in the second half, but here is sue longways

with the raider of the match, horrible effort

sue’  yeah, johnny, it was a horrible effort but the raider of the match goes to brett austin, now brett what went wrong

brett’  well, sue, we were woeful in that second half, and the dragons were just too good

sue’  yeah, were you thinking victory, at half time, maybe too over confident so to speak

brett’  yeah, maybe we were over confident in the first half, but the dragons got 8 points before the break, and

then another 14, well, anyway, terrible match

sue’   anyway here is the raider of the match medallion, congrats and now here is bob from gordon

bob’   and now we draw the final curtain, the raiders **** again

it was a really terrible game, buddy a terrible match for the raiders team

yeah the raider, ya know they do ****, it was a woeful game

what happened to the hopeless raiders, ya know the raiders ****

what is wrong with the mighty raiders, they didn’t look so mighty tonight

why couldn’t the raiders win it, i think it’s just that their hopeless

sue’   and now here is johnny brown with his jingle, not our johnny brown, johnny from duffy

johnny’   we are on the rocking horse caused by the raiders losing

you see we rocked all day long

they are sitting on the rocking horse, all day long, my love

i wished our raiders won

you see, the raiders had a bad match, good start, but hopeless finish

really the raiders faded, yeah, what a woeful effort, yeah woeful effort woeful effort yeah mate ****** yeah

sue’   thanks johnny brown, and now back to our johnny brown

johnny’   thanks sue, that was a terrible match and to make matters much worst, we play the roosters next game

and i say, we’ll lose to the roosters next week and here is micheal with his jingle

micheal, go the dragons, we kicked some ****** ***

go dragons, we showed some fucken class

yeah the mighty st george, oh yeah, yeah they were great in the end

go dragons kick some ****** ***, go dragons, show some ****** class

go the dragons go the dragons, dragons won true blue, GO DRAGONS

johnny’  ok now everybody it’s beer o’clock and the raiders were given a football lesson, a rootball lesson

and we have the reason to give canberra much credit, except for the first 18 points

CATCH YA NEXT TIME raiders show fans

DRAGONS OVER RAIDERS 22 - 20

the raiders show, the half time show, v dragons



johnny’   welcome back, and what a start we have for the raiders, you see we got to a lead

of 18 points to nil, and at half time the raiders lead 18 points to 8 with  hodgson and soliola and

blake austin, and croker scored 3 2 pointers while merrin scores a try for the dragons and widdop

scores 2 2 pointers, and the raiders have made a few mistakes, but they have a good lead

and here is sue

sue’  ok welcome, and here is tim with his jingle

tim’   oh yeah we are the bad and mean green machine

fearsome men looking keen,

don’t try and stop these men in green

cause we hit ya hit ya hit ya, and you’ll see green

run raiders run we have a 10 point lead yeah

run raiders run, will we win will we win yeah

we run up the field, and score 3 tries, oh what a team we have

run raiders run, oh yeah raiders, we are the best

sue’  thanks tim and now here is olly

olly’    in canberra town we were born come on raiders, oh we can win

in canberra town, in the north, bound for fun at GIO

come on ya mighty raiders, come on, we must win

go the mighty raiders team, beat the hapless dragons

sue’  ok thanks olly and now back to johnny

johnny’   thanks sue and now, we hope the raiders don’t fade here, no, go the raiders we are bound to have a victory

see you at full time COME ON RAIDERS

The Raiders show raiders v st george at GIO Stadium

    with johnny brown and Sue Longways




johnny’   welcome dudes to GIO stadium to this match between the dragons and the raiders and this is going to be a

great match, the raiders are 11th and the dragons are at 14, and whoever wins, I can guarantee it will be a spectacle

and i have Pete from Hawker with us now with a poem for us, hoping to get the Raiders into top swing

Pete”    ok dudes let’s swing it

you see the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’  well, short but sweet, and have you been worried about form in some matches

Pete’   well, yes, but that makes no difference, the raiders are going to win dudes, i will sing it again

you see we are the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’   well thanks Pete and now here is Sue Longways with another fine poem from the crowd

Sue’   thanks Johnny and what a great atmosphere here at GIO Stadium today, a great twilight match, and everyone

is in fine voice to cheer the raiders to beat the dragons tonight, and here is John Barten from Queanbeyan and he hates

how the Raiders went to Canberra all those years ago, so he sings a dragons tune

John’   go the dragons go the dragons

go the mighty dragons team

you see it’s only early in the season

go the mighty dragons cause the raiders moved here

I know we shouldn’t hold a grudge, mate, but i am and there is nothing you can do oh no

go the mighty dragons and i will go for them till the Raiders go back to Seiffert Oval, dudes

Sue”   thanks John and now here is Harold from Lyneham

Harold’   i am the bad and mean raiders fan

we supply the best coming out of the can

you see i go to the footy with mates george and dan

you see we’ll hit ya hit ya hit ya the mighty green machine

Sue’  thanks Harold and now here is the Raiders team, bring on the team

Jordan Rapana and Sisa Waqa and Jarrod Croker and Jarrad kennedy and edrick lee and blake austin and Mitchell Cornish


and Shannon Boyd and Josh Hodgson and Dane Tilse and Josh Papali and Sia Solicia and Shaun Fensom

and the 4 interchange players  Josh McRone and Frank-Paul Nuuausala and Paul Vaughan and Luke Bateman

and now here is Ken from Symonston with his poem

Ken”   i have been coming out to the GIO stadium every time we play

you see it’s fun when we win, but when we lose, we certainly do ****** pay

and the main thing about it is, we beat the easy teams and beat the hard teams but never at the best time

come on Raiders, it’s surely the time to win, oh ****** yeah


sue”   thanks Ken and now here is Rob with his jingle

Rob”     Run Raiders run

as we charge onto the GIO stadium yeah

run raiders run you see we have the team, we’ll win oh yeah

yeah we will come a running, and score a hundred tries

yeah that will be so cool,

run raiders run, oh yeah the Raiders are the team to beat i hope

run raiders run

they are the team that will thrash the opposition yeah

you see we won one and lost one

run raiders run

yeah the mighty raiders, will be our son of a gun

Sue”    thanks Rob for that and now here is the dragons team


first is Peter Mata’utia and Etonia Nabuli and Dan Nielson and Dylan Farrell and Jason Nightingale

and gareth Widdop and Benji Marshall and Leeson Ah Mau and Mitch Rein and George Rose

and Tyson Frizell and Joel Thompson and Jack de Belin

and the interchange men are trent Merrin and Heath L”Estrange and Rory O’Brien and Mike Cooper and Jake Marketo

and here is Mike from Jerrabomberra with his jingle

oh yeah those dragons yeah, they win more than the raiders yeah

they supply all the tries, in fact more tries than the locals, why don’t they win the grand

well i think i know, it’s because we lose our playing ability after thrashing the raiders here and anywhere

so go the dragons, go the mighty dragons, the right team to win the match

sue’   ok thanks Mike and now here is Keith from Latham with his song

carn the carn the carn the mighty raiders team, please dudes don’t make us say **** mate

make our raiders team win, carn the raiders carn the raiders, watch our team win well

on our home ground see, go the mighty raiders for a great victory

ya see i live in Latham and in my lounge room i have raiders cushions and raiders tables and heaps

of videos too including the great grand final victories in ’89 and “91 and the great ‘94

they haven’t won a grand final since in the first grade oh no

but if they win a few games where they don’t drop the ball too much

they will play so ****** hard, GO THE RAIDERS, DUDES

Sue’   ok that is it for me, and now back to Johnny

Johnny”  thanks Sue for telling us the teams and letting us hear some great home truths, let’s hope the

Raiders can win tonight, and now here is ?Bob from Cook with a jingle

Bob’   go the raiders go the raiders, do ya reckon we have the stamminer to win today

go the raiders go the raiders, should we win, should we win

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, how i wonder whether you’ll win

up above the GIO park tonight, make sure we clean this game free of fights

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, go the raiders through and through

Johnny’ thanks Bob and now here is Ernie from Higgins with his rhyme

hey ****** ****** the dragons are ready, are they going to win

all have the raiders put all their dropping the ball crap in the flaming bin

Shaun Fensom laughed at this little rhyme, as hopefully the raiders grab the 2 points

Johnny’  thanks Ernie and first my tip, well to the ladder, i say Raiders, on current form, well raiders be 6, could be more

and who do you support Sue

Sue’    well to the ladder, the Raiders, but on current form, dragons by 2, but i could change

Johnny”   ok, we’ll be back at half time, ok, here on the Raiders show

GO THE CANBERRA RAIDERS

he hooligans feet




you see the hooligans are trapping me down and down, making me feel, i am too shy

to be like anyone cool, and i don’t want this to happen, the reality is, my feet have fungus

but it could be the hooligans trapping me, making me believe that i8 will never be a family person

ever again, and another thing too, the fungus is building up on my feet, here is a song

the hooligans have trapped my feet hooray hooray

yeah they have trapped my feet hooray hooray

you see the hooligans have trapped me down, like i have been ******* by a terrorist, yeah

and i feel like i am hooligan forever and forever amen, oh lord

you see the hooligan is me back then, the me who wanted to destroy the world

by taking each boy away, so they couldn’t find a girl, my lord

you see i said ha ha ha, you oldies are going down

you see i am a mean dude, who needs to break away

and this hooligan stays in my body till i am too old for ***

yeah, the hooligans will hassle me, like my old pal rex

you see, how this hooligan will hassle me, by ripping the shyness out of me

i want the hooligan out of my body, but it’s so fucken hard

i want it out i want it out, but really i am too filthy yeah

i am hearing blackboards ghost my mate, ya see my previous life who was beheaded

and i remember being killed by a strange man named fred

well, him, he was crazy, but so am i

i hate everyone saying i am CRAZY, it drives me nuts

i hear these voices, saying come to the other side

and be my friend, yeah mate yeah, this would be the coolest thing

just like me, the coolest thing

and the hooligans have his legs tied and his arms tied

and every time he walks, his feet will be planted on the floor

like he has been trapped forever and ever amen

you see i was trying to be a hooligan to show my family that they are so shy

you see, keeping my legs planted on the floor, is to say, i am a cool kid

and i was protecting myself from the bad spirits

ya see if i tied myself up, or pushed my feet to the ground

i can tease my family forever

but this could turn nasty as some actual hooligans rob me, by saying your not a hooligan, mate

in a really angry voice, and i don’t want to rob banks or steal cars, no that ain’t for me

please don’t make me rob banks, i hate that kind of life

cause i close my eyes, and draw back the curtain to see for certain a budweiser beer

and all young people got drunk with me, yeah, how about you take your beer

and get the **** right out of here

you see i don’t know for sure if my feet are itchy, because i feel my hooligan coming back to me

or is it just, the fact that i am too nice for the real world, and the hooligans keep me in, young dude heaven, to protect me

with a clash of drums, a flash of light, my itchy feet became hooligan feet

i was floating off to darkness, please leave me alone

and i saw my dad, drinking a methane smoothie, that i left there for him to tip all over me

hey baby ooh yeah hey, i want to know if this hooligan will kidnap simon

hey baby ooh yeah hey i want to know if this hooligan will kidnap simon

you see brian allan is a family person, who doesn’t wanna rob banks cause they are bad

i know they are poor, and i know they are having heaps of problems, but hey baby ooh yeah, hey

i want to know if the hooligan will kidnap simon

you see people are treating me like a hooligan, i don’t want to be a hooligan

i am a family person, who has a lot of fun, yeah

why don’t these so called families leave me alone

you see, they are treating me like a hooligan, all because i was shyer than the so called teasing families

i am a family person, more so than them, i hate the hooligans trying to trap me under the families

so they can ask me to rob banks, I DON’T WANT TO ROB BANKS, I HATE EVERYONE TEASING ME

I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN, REALLY, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, WHO HAS, itchy hooligan feet

BECAUSE I MADE A MISTAKE IN LIFE

the story of bobby bradysmith

you see bobby bradysmith is a little cool kid, but he was having a few problems

you see he had childhood schitzophrenia and said he was every star on the television

driving his family mad, and bobby screamed to his dad, why doesn’t anyone like me,

is it because i was mental and his dad started to get really worried, and decided to change his ways

but the other kids didn’t want this, you see they had fun with bobby, ya know teasing him

and bullying him, ya know the whole thing, and one kid named rodney spalms went up to

bobby and said, what’s that your like us, and bobby was really hyped up, saying, i am really one of you

and he said, yeah, as long as you don’t get in our way, you will be one of us, and bobby was happy

but unaware, what he meant by get in our way, but bobby decided to not worry about that while he was young

and decided to go home and watch all the television shows and black beauty and even icarly were two shows

he actually liked, and every time he went to the shopping mall, the young dudes said, whats that bobby, your like us

and even the rougher boys, and hooligans said, yeah yeah yeah, your like us, as long as you don’t get in our way

and rodney wanted to stay at home, as he turned off treating bobby like his kind because he was getting bashed up for it

which wasn’t  really bugging bobby, but still he heard rodney say these simple words, what’s that, your like us, about 100 times

and as bobby’s hormones were going wild, you see with the schitzophrenia in his system, his ***** erected looking at kids legs,

and i mean kids younger than him, well, this felt normal for bobby as his father was married to a younger woman, like all the men

in his family, but bobby was really getting a buzz asking the kid to come to him and grabbing his mouth and then looked at his legs

saying, he was the cool kid now and it happened again and again and bobby was a bully, making mothers and fathers mad, as soon

as their kids were grabbed by bobby, they ran to their parents and parents tore strips of bobby, and still he heard rodney’s voice saying

what’s that your like us, which made bobby grab a few kids at school as well as grabbing a few on their way to school, but still rodney said

what’s that your like us, me and you can be two bullies, bobby, how does that feel, and bobby was getting a buzz, going to the shopping mall

attempting to grab a few more kids, scaring them half to death, making men say, LEAVE MY SON ALONE ****, and bobby said neh,

and then he heard rodney saying, what’s that your like us, your not a mans kid bobby, i am going to get the whole mall crowd to tease you

if you keep it up, but your still like us, rodney said to bobby, as rodney rode his bike saying, you sit in there woosey bobby, your not a bully

or kidnapper, and if you keep it up, you will get prisoners saying what’s that your like us, and i will have power over your mind, to confuse you, ****-face

you see rodney will use his religious powers to make each prisoner say, what’s that your like us, but bobby’s father disagreed with this

and tried to get bobby into jobs he hates, to get his mind of kidnapping, but that only made it worst for bobby, because he lost his job and

took off to the fruit market and tied one 11 year old up to the toilet, now, bobby was scared, so he let him go, instead of leaving the kid there

to squirm, and he still heard rodney say, what’s that your like us, but really rodney hated him doing this to all the kids, and befriended him right away

and bobby only spent a weekend in the lock up, and got out of his jail sentence and placed on a psychiatric order, and he had to see a probation officer

and bobby was relieved and was ready to hear rodney say, what’s that your like us, but it faded away, and people said, instead, i am going to get you back,

for what you did to the kids, and this made bobby very scared, because, the reason why he committed these horrible offences, was because he had

schitzophrenia, which developed into adult schitzophrenia, and made bobby get bullied on the street and then go home and take it out on, his poor

old mum and dad, and bobby was thinking this was a game, but his parents wanted bobby locked away, because bobby’s dad spoke up for bobby in court

and still bobby to his dad, wasn’t very grateful, and fighting with them, every blasted day, and bobby wasn’t winning this battle, so he decided to do some

volunteer work at st vincent de paul, where he met francine, who was a really good helper and also has the gift to make anyone a good helper and bobby

started work there emptying the clothing bins and other man like jobs and then bobby asked francine, as christmas was fast approaching and bobby wanted to

apoligize to the city for his schitzophrenic behaviour of the past, by playing santa claus in the st vincent de paul, and showing kids he was a nice santa, well

a few kids told bobby he was a fake santa, and the mall santa was much better, but bobby’s medication made him handle that with care, and after 2 years

because the medication was making bobby nice to kids as santa claus, rodney’s voice was coming back in his head saying, i am very impressed with you bobby

you know playing santa to test you out, what’s that your like us now man, and bobby was handing a sweet to an older kid, and he said, i don’t want a lolly, i am an

older kid, i don’t believe in santa, and rodney’s voice was giving bobby delusions, which didn’t stop him from being santa, actually he went out on the street

and murdered a cat, and when the police caught bobby, his parents said, send him to the psych ward, and as bobby entered the psych ward, bobby immediately

thought, this was the gateway to heaven, and then rodney’s voice entered his head, saying, i am not mucking with the crazy person, and this made bobby scream

to get out of the psych ward, every time his parents left, and when bobby got out, he had delusions that there was a money tree on the internet, and the way

to get more money, is download a money tree fertiliser and also booked himself on a private jet to the USA, and every time he saw a crime or bad weather

he would write I WANT TO GIVE $456 TO SAVE THE WHALES, or something like that, and he started to get better and went back to vinnies to work

and play santa at the end of the year, this was something that bobby looked forward to playing santa every year, but bobby’s medication was forcing him

to look up to space, and being santa and going down to the coast was his only things he liked, and then in 2007, bobby started working at graythorne village

a place for the disadvantaged to live, and still played santa, actually, bobby took holiday leave to play santa at christmas to make the kids happy and then

in 2009, bobby got sick of this looking up, as his job prospects were going places, and asked the psychiatrist, and in about 3 weeks, they changed his medication

and the medication was giving bobby energy to run and at the end of the year, be a fit santa claus, and then a new boss came at st vincent de paul, and after

all the fun of getting kids photos, sitting on his lap, the new boss wanted to change so much, so bobby gave up his santa claus gig, and later on lost his job

in 2013, because he was losing his cool streak, he enjoyed playing santa, he enjoyed helping at graythorne village, and rodney’s voice came back in his head

saying what’s that your a crazy person, what’s that your a crazy person, and bobby yelled at rodney’s voice, on the side of the cars, and then bobby found another way

to keep sane, and that was write, write and more writing to make him feel cool, and now bobby goes to poetry slams and writing groups and theatre acting courses

bobby might not have a job at present, but the writing, stops him from straying from family life,

I AM BOBBY, HE IS BASED ON MY LIFE

pack your bikini



pack your bikini in your old kit bag

and head to the beach

you go with all of your kids and their kids too

and have a lot of fun oh yeah

there is no need to worry

it really ain’t worth while

so pack up your bikini

and head to the beach

pack your bikini in your old kit bag

and head for the beach

you see those old busy bodies light their ***

it’s not a very good sight

there is no need to worrty

the girls and guys are hot

so pack your bikini in your bag oh yeah

to see what your heart is up to now

pack your bikini in your old kit bag

and say to your spouse

you are the best lover that i ever had

i wanna ****** give you a treat

you see i like looking at your legs

they are **** as, i know

so pack your bikini in your old kit bag and smile smile smile

there is no need for a worrying

for it really ain’t my style, no

so pack your bikini in your old kit bag

and let out a very big smile

go to a party and have cocktails ala plenty

and get really drunk and head to the beach

and flash your ****

as we’ve packed our bikinis in our old kit bag

and had a very good time, ooh yeah

hi dudes


welcome to saturn club rings, and today, i am dropping in to tell you that

athena is operating on my prostate, and as long as i take this medication, and

watch what i eat, and last night,, also i was forced to marry this ugly woman

named redmond forrester, when i wanted to marry a beautiful young 17 year old girl

named caitlin jones, who really liked me, but, unfortunately so did redmond

and when it came to the wedding day, caitlin jones was dropping hints, that i speak up

about not wanting to marry redmond, and eventually i did, but caitlin wanted me to speak up earlier

so she can avoid looking like a fluesy who is after any future money payments, because

she really wanted my money and power, that i showed, and i told caitlin about all the stuff the

cosmos has to offer, like athena working on your prostate and don’t forget athena works on your teeth

to save you the disastrous medical bills on earth, and it is working, you see i am pooling more freely

and i am also losing the pain in my mouth from tooth aches, and caitlin jones loves the idea of

me seeing athena for medical problems and tried to ruin my arranged marriage with redmond forrester

so i can marry caitlin jones, i remember i was telling jokes to neil power and he liked the jokes i told so much,

he said, brian, i really enjoy your company, cause i don’t know what your going to say next, and i enjoyed

mucking around with him and murray flynn who died of cancer, he was another man that was cool, you see

we mucked around together, you know joking around, ya know so to speak, and he told me, he admired my

ability to work in a place that isn’t really a job for me, and make it look like a job for me, but he died of cancer

and i miss him, and then their was alan who lived near my parents, i used to talk about the swans to him, actually he

made me feel great about how i used to be, ya know, trying to get on canberra TV, at the cannons matches, you see alan

told me that he used to line outside the news stand for the latest news on swans matches and other things like that

and alan also told me, he used to love me and my brother chris play sport in the front yard, and our conversations

were great every time we crossed paths, and as athena was working on my prostate, pulling out my hooligan, i once told pat

i wanted to be, you see athena told me that my problems are the hooligan i was once, coming back to me, i am a family person,

and then i started to think, the good die young, what with olga chick, and murray flynn and mark jones and the pains in the ***

continue to live on past their prime, well athena said, you need to take better care of yourself, instead of a 2 litre bottle of coke

have a can of coke and tonight at the poetry slam, look after your body right and you will not collapse on stage, and this afternoon

don’t over talk at the acting course, especially if you want something good from this, and i can guarantee that your problems with your

body can go away and then dad sent a big thunderstorm toward canberra to wake me up, saying brian’s not like me

and the thunderstorm was, dad was working his new earth body, elizabeth ann campbell, to get her parents to keep the mood positive

anyway,

you see there are problems in the world, but having patrick dunbar and greame thornes

previous life pattern, in my buddha cycle, like having thoughts of going out feeling like kids were playing games

with you, first of all, they will plant all these rats and feral cats and angry dogs, attempting to attack you

at every turn, and also back then when my place was messy, there were rats and dogs just walking in my

parents laundry, and it made me have problems cleaning my house, and i wondered why we saw rats and feral cats

and my cat muscles was also turning feral and i wanted to calm him down, and i started having my hooligans visions

coming when i went out, when i saw kids laughing or screaming in a drain in wanniassa, and this made me feel bad

i told the messiah about it, and he hated it as well, thinking, someone put the kids down there, and then i heard my

mate patrick, say, i am not mucking with the crazy person, because i was getting his clean mind giving me all sorts of delusions

making me feel, he was poisoning my mind with all these delusions like, muscles is the dingo that killed azaria, you see

i was battling my delusions, ya know, having a hard time, with a mate who hated what rupert murdoch was doing to this world

and i was wanting foxtel, but i seriously couldn’t afford, because rupert murdoch had the prices go too high, and when i had

foxtel, i remember i was in dilusion land, ya know, thinking i was getting a private jet to fly to the USA, to volunteer at a major league baseball match

and another thing too, i felt i was given USA TV, because, my delusions were putting the AFL, on the sunday night, and there was

a USAFL match, on there as well, and, i was having a great time doing volunteer work on the street, at the footy, i loved that, and i did

volunteer work at vinnies, i liked that, and i liked playing santa claus too, but i don’t do that now, i picked up all this ******* outside kingsley’s

and i got honoured for that, and i helped cook the meals at the rainbow, i loved that, but nowadays they turned it into a course, and i liked the

idea of giving the mentally ill people a good meal, and i worked at the softball field, in the 2003 masters games, and i cleared tables as well

as other jobs to do around there, i also worked at the kanga cup soccer, but i hated the last day, when they made us do crowd control, not my forte

and because my house was messy, my parents just went mmmm mmmmmm mmmmm, and this drove me crazy, i don’t want to miss out on opportunities

just because my house is untidy, i tried and cleaned my house, the best as i could, but i was hearing voices, you must help here, you must help there

you must help everywhere, the men will talk to me, if i helped people, and i loved when a man said to to me, your doing a good job, mate, and i liked

when men said, keeping busy, mate, and when i said yes, they said good, good, and when i said hello to dad, dad just did a sigh old hi, saying, i was only

like him if i cleaned my house, and yes, i know it’s important to clean my house, so i have a cleaner come Monday mornings, but, i wish there were opportunities

out there, where i can show off my novels to important people, i don’t want any cats anymore, one reason, i can’t look after a cat very well, and i could see lots of

rats and mice in my flat, and i am scared of rats and mice, because of the disease factor, and animals to me, i find, could send me to the psych ward

i know cleaning my house is important, and getting rid of rodents, is a way to clean, you see, lately i say, i got to help the poor, every time i see a poor man

give him money, cause i am not a rich *****, and i am not, and i spend money to try and give me things, i like computers, i was using the computer as a place

to display all my previous life and current life anger, but dad looked at my stories, as not very nice, but i was expressing where my anger is coming from

i want to have novels written and ideas pushed over to television, now i don’t want a cat anymore, or a dog or a mouse or a rat, i prefer to keep myself from

buying any sort of animal, because every time i am asked to do something,like take care of a cat, i go crazy, and i get cranky, cause i haven’t got a perfect life

because my parents have twisted m thoughts around in my head, if i had someone to live with, or moved to another city, with the same services, i will feel good

about myself, because i would still get the cleaning done as well have carers and i need a job, i need a job, i want to show people how to write their problems out of them

i hate being treated like a girl from bay watch, getting kidnapped by old good mates because they fucken agree with parents ruling over their kids and i don’t

because i am going to get what i want and i am not aiming too high,my stories are good enough and even this story, please leave me alone, i want the perfect life

i crave the perfect life, and as long as i don’t buy a cat, i am fine

now here is the big jupiter sing off, where you sing for 30 seconds in front of a booth

the forest singer is paul berenyi singing i wanna rock and roll all night

you see i wanna rock and roll all night and party every day, yeah

i wanna rock and roll all night and party every day

you see as we go for a spin, the party has just began, so let me in

you drive me wild and make me happy

i wanna rock and roll all night and party every day, oh yeah

and now here is sam kinison with wild thing

wild thing, oh oh oh yeah, you make my heart sing, that is so very groovy

my heart jumps right out of my body and makes me wanna fall

and now here is briano alliano with his number

well, i am having troubles trying to explain that i went just went to neptune TAFE

where i get all my experience to do this

it’s the nicest TAFE, and might i mention the only TAFE in the solar system apart from earth

and it looks really cosmic too

and then micheal jackson came out with his number

the way you make me feel, ya make me feel so right

everybody learn the ABC, everyone learn do re mi, and a 1 2 3 and far so la te

and you know i am bad i am bad i am very very bad ya know it

and now it’s daniel messiah and barney bromwich singing their great song

i am happy, so very happy sunday monday happy days

tuesday wednesday happy days thursday friday happy days

saturday, oh what a day brings in a whole lot for you

ok thanks and see ya next time on neptune

please chuck methane all over everyone

I can tell you that i disagree with a woman at the gungahln meeting last night

you see as they were talking about a new public housing development

she refused to have them accept mentally ill people, because they could grab a child

but, there are heaps of mentally ill people all over canberra and australia and the world, you

see she was a real *******, i know she is just protecting her grandchildren and that is fine

but, she needs trust the mentally ill, you see i have a history, but i am on medication for it

and the others are too, they need to be trusted, you see she is treating the mentally ill like ****

and need to be shot, but there is such a thing as medication, and if you don’t take it, you get locked up

for a very long time, but this lady, who i remain nameless, is a real idiot, she has the nerve to say

mentally ill people are ****, she is ****, you see i like kids, and if i lived there, i can guarantee

that no child can be harmed, you see it’s women like this, who can force the fights between the rich and the poor

the regular and the mentally ill, you see she is ****, ,and i appreciate nobody writing me back, i didn’t want to

start an argument, but her opinion is so right wing, i know she is looking out for her kids, but she has no idea

what it’s like to be mentally ill, not one little bit, you see macauley culkin looks weird but he is probably a very nice guy

i know there are a few of the mentally ill who look strange, but they aren’t really strange, they look like reincarnation hooligans

and they need to be looked after, i am going to help out at common ground, and there will be a few ya know, odd ***** so to speak

but that is just a word, but this lady, who i remain nameless, really insulted me, because she is from the rich way of thinking

and me, is sort of in the gutter, i would love to see her in the gutter, to see how she feels, and if she was given a home, i want

mentally ill to complain about her living in her house, to see how she likes it, now i have nothing against wanting safety to the kids

but not all mentally ill people are evil like she thinks, actually i find it fun to see them walking around having fun chinwagging with other people

no, i really found her hard to bare, ok, i would prefer to see women like her, to be given a lecture on moral behaviour, you should respect

people, all people, ok, she was only against mentally ill people having a home, WHY, common ground is coming left leaning, and this complex

could be left leaning also, i just want this lady to think before she speaks, she was pointing out, she prefers able bodied rather than the mentally ill

that is morally wrong, MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ARE QUITE COOL, she didn’t stay that long, but if she did, i would caused a sticking tongue out battle with her

I AM JUST SAYING, PLEASE DON’T LET THIS LADY SPOIL YOUR PLANS FOR NEW PUBLIC HOUSING COMPLEX, it’ll take away the upper class away from

gungahlin, and add a little working class, yeah left leaning behaviour coming back to gungahlin, COOL

brian’s secret friend

good boy brian allan was having fun on youtube in his house, despite his family and friends

saying it’s wrong, you see brian allan wan people, like give people homes, as opposed to

walking around on the street, and his mum, was worried that brian was going down the wrong path

but brian kept on playing these songs as loud and then a 12 year old girl, who was a bit messed up

ran away from her mummy and daddy, and turned up on my bed, and before we knew it,brian and this girl

were playing on youtube, ya know dancing and dancing, but the little girl, was too old for brian and kept

on arguing with him, because she didn’t mean to run away, she was worried, also,  brian thought it was

the right thing to play with this kid, instead of alerting authorities, which is the right thing, but brian was really

wanting a kid of his own to play with, and despite mum and dad yelling at brian, probably sneaking a look

of what we’re doing on youtube, and this kid, well it looked like she was teasing brian, ya know by saying

me and you are so similar brian, and then the girl said, let’s have fun putting on these youtube videos

and we also ran down the street teasing each other, ya know having a wow of a time, and then brian’s mum

and dad and brother who were sitting up talking to each other, started to worry when their family member

valerie straight watched a youtube video, and said who is the  girl brian is playing with and then valerie rang up

brian’ mum and brian was so determined that what he was doing is the right thing, but his mother disagreed with this

and his mum and dad and brother all went to brian’s house to tell brian he was doing the wrong thing, and

they saw brian and the girl, to them, walking around having a ball, but the girl gave brian the not cool stare

and brian got a lot of that when he was young, and this didn’t stop brian from dealing with the lost 12 year old his way, thinking

a lot of people use youtube, to track down where lost children are, but brian got himself when his mum and dads neighbour said

you are still trouble, brian and brian was determined to show him, he is responsible, but brian totally lost this man’s trust

when he ran his car over into a fense making a man who the family once liked, get totally weird and attempted to zoo brian

for all the pennies he has, and brian’s mum, dad and brother were sitting in brian’s apartment, listening to brian’s stupid lip

which was totally full of worry and brian told his family to *******, because he is happy to see signs of his youth, a kid saying

what’s that your like us, but now brian’s mum, dad and brother knew about it, it was only a matter of time before the mother

was contacted, and her mother arrived and it was brian’s old school chum paula, and paula looked calm thinking to brian

don’t try the free daycare service, and i showed her a picture of my brother, who she had a crush on when we were young

and paula thanked me for looking after her 12 year daughter, but she wasn’t impressed one little bit with her daughter for running

away, nor was she impressed with me for keeping her with me, brian was scared, he says to all the ***** out there who thinks

brian was a phedaphile or a child molestor, but still brian had to move on and hopefully this man will find a way not to soo brian

from all the things that he did, and now had to face the music, in the next 2 days, being yelled at by family and this man

who did soo brian, which left brian penniless and i tell you one thing, this was just a dream i had, i know, if a girl turned up

at my house, i would do the right thing and alert authorities, but this is just a dream

briano alliano performs at neptune cafe



hi dudes and welcome to neptune cafe, and today i am performing some great numbers for ya

here is the first song, titled i am working for the future


you see i am up here playing a song

trying to get things right, oh yeah

the song is some old fashioned song

that nobody likes , but this sums up my voicers

trying to say, whether my voices are true or not

i hate being someone people hate

i get up and i say to the mic, please leave me alone

i am a person, just a person, who never put a foot wrong

you see i take my medication, because i want to get reformed

please, respect that, please like this, don’t call me a loser

just because i take medication, the only old fogie in me mate

is i take medication, i want myself to be reformed ya see

i want my evil me of the 80s and early 90s dead, never to be alive again

please buddha, allow me to my past

youj see dad tried to help me, when he called me a fool

i think he was trying to show me, what can happen io me, if i fought the young dudes

you see, i tried to fight it out with dad, but i now know that was wrong

please don’t hassle me about that, i really wanna be reformed

dad didn’t deserve what i put him through, but he was a stubborn man

especially when i was trying to make peace, i know i say sorry then fought again

you see dad and mum got cranky over spilt milk, i can’t handle this

i think dad was having fun pushing me on to bed

yeah, it was the only way to get me to learn about his ****** authority rule

i know i’s schizophrenic but i was training myself in my room

i wanted to be famous, but i went about it the ****** wrong way

i wish wasn’t so fucken stubborn, because it was obvious i was reformed

ya see, when dad put me to the test, i felt like fighting, but i decided to calm down

you see all i did was spend my money, i was celebrating freedom

i was an adult, baby, but not the nerdy kind

i don’t really appreciate being treated like a nerd or a little kid to a tease

dad should work on betty campbell, to show us what he saw in me

cause i was trying to be a COOL BOY, ya know, not necessary to a fight

i was sick of being the kind of kid to always be well behaved

i wanted to muck around with mate, but i realiy ****** well **** my pants

dad never helped me, but he tried, so i have to be the **** **** kid

till the day i move out, and that drove me crazy, i hated me and dads squabbles, it was fucken CRAZY

dad took advantage of my schizophrenic behaviour, all because i preferred music than the fucken army

and now, dudes, i will chuck a methane smoothie on dad to rid his old fucken hag

like i am teasing the old fucken hag, here is your methane smoothie, right in your head

hi dudes

i have just done my first raiders show, for 2015

the raiders beat the sharks 24-20, it was a great win

my show, is on youtube, at AAA YOUTUBE TV

now, what youtube is doing for me, it is making

me lose all the stutter and flap, and improve future

generations from looking *******, no i don’t think i am *******

but i do believe people tease on the internet,

to disclose views, cause i don’t want to be treated like a man

i am too cool to be a man, and i would like if people treat me like i am famous

or treat me like a person, i know my voices aren’t real

and i am saying goodbye to my voices now

you see you can view my youtube clips or videos on twitter and faceboiok

and just because i have no views, on youtuibe, people are probably looking at it

youtube views don’t count on twitter and Facebook, i am smart enough ya see

i hate being treated like a hooligan just because i like people doing burnouts on the road and loud music

i know people are watching me, i am a star on twitter and Facebook

youtube views yeah, but i am famous other places too

i am not a freak, i just ignored that voice

keep watching me, it’ll be nice to meet ya

i am smart enough, the views i look at are youtube views rat’s all

people like me, i can see in conversation

remember i am twitter, Facebook and youtube

i am cool, my work is out there

Don Lane and Graham Kennedy entertain in the after life cafe




Don lane '.    Oh yeah I am putting on my top hat, and I also wear nothing else
Because I am dead now, and I don't have to worry about being appropriately dressed,
And I also have a lady sitting over at the bar, and she has great looking legs and *****,
I want to go over to her, hey lady, how are you going today
Lady'.  I am fine, and I am Marilyn Monroe
Don Lane'.   I would've loved to interview on my show
Marilyn'.  No, I heard the afterlife was a good place for me, I was famous in life, I don't want to be famous here.
Don Lane'.  Ok let's go to this table, I know you as well, refresh my memory
And yes Ricky May poured sixteen ice cubes all over Don and
Don said  well, obviously these people didn't want to be famous, ok, who are you
Man said'.  I am Don Bradman
Don Lane'.  You died before me, have you showed the afterlife how you played cricket
Don Bradman'. Yes, and we beat Saturn by 15 runs, and I finally averaged 100, it is pretty cool
Don Lane'.   Who do you play next
Don Bradman'.  Well this weekend we play the Martians from Mars
Don Lane'.  Well here is Graham Kennedy with his after life song
Well I said I wouldn't make it here
Because of the weird joked I told
And I thought the devil will own my soul
But I was stood up straight and tall
Felthad a weird beer up here, they call it AAAA
And I have always wondered since that say
What does the A mean
Then it hit me, oh silly me
The A meant Afterlife
And we are with Ricky May and Tony Grieg
And Don Bradman and Joh Bjieke peterson
Yes, this afterlife is so much fun with a AAAA in my hand,
Ok Don Lane let's parry in the afterlife
Don Lane'.  Ok thanks Graham, now here is Bon Scott with his after life song
The clouds are shaking
And the moon is rocking with the men who are put in there
To scare bad guys away from doing evil on earth
And yes, AC/DC are still going strong on Earth
And I am doing well up here , because it is so easy, man
To be fit and healthy up here, I said you
Shook the after life, all night long
Oh yeah baby, you
Shook the afterlife, all night long
Don Lane'. See you next time, bye

silly kids oh silly kids are so stupid kids, asking me, the wrong person to be put in a team



oh yeah i was coming out of woolies with my chocolate and my drinks

and the kids asked me to sign them up for the magpies

just because i had a magpies t shirt on

he was a poor poor kid, whose parents don’t give a **** about him

but really i don’t know how i can help him

because he wanted to play footy, well, what boy doesn’t

well, probably he is teasing me, but i think he is a poor kid suffering

under, tony, fucken abbotts, wing

and this kid needs to be given a go, but i think he was weird ya see

because i am just the bbq man, and i have no authority to put him in a team

i love life, and i hate men who bully, any kind of bullying

i don’t want to get bullied, I’m just want to do my art

and eat chicken wings, and go on outings with people i know

i hate what the young dudes used to say to me, they were horrible

to me, i was a nice person, never put a foot wrong

that kid was under a spell from tony abbott or ronnie biggs and ted bunny

yeah it could be cosmic, or he might really want to play for the magpies

magpies club there is a kid on hawker who wants to play for the club

ok dudes give him a go 4 it

run brumbies run

we are giving the force a footy lesson

run brumbies run

yeah we are yeah we are

we are high and they are low

the mighty brumbies are fighting fit ya know

run brumbies run

the mighty brumbies are up 24 to 8

go brumbies

i’s a farce it’s a farce

the nations capital is coming alive

tonight, when the force are in town

you see the brumbies are going to win

well, i ****** well hope so

well, i ****** well hope so

you see it’s a farce it’s a farce

the force are dominating

the force will be on their way to victory

and tonight in the national capital

everyone will cheer

brumbies clap clap clap

brumbies clap clap clap

those mighty brumbies are  great

but is it a farce that the force are

comingt to the national capital

and yelling out live from the nations capital, it’ brumbies night live

great win for the brumbies 27-15

we are treating you like a little young dude, when i try and do a raiders show


i can’t help it, if i can’t be confident for the raiders

they never seem to win

i can’t help it, but i can try and do a show about the raiders

but it’ll never workout

i always sing at the end, as we draw the final curtain, and the raiders lost again

and that drives me mad, seeing they were so great back in the late 80s

you are nothing but a hound dog, barking all the time

you have never caught a rabbit and your ain’t no mate of mine

you see i can put my raiders show on, i can celebrate

but what if they lose, i know i shouldn’t worry

who is our best football team, who comes out and tries to win

and who will score a lot of tries, it must be canberra it must be canberra

it must be the might of the canberra team

you see i want to be there for the raiders, but they always seem to lose

and when they do win, it seems to be a fluke

and i play my show, and i am trying not to be a hooligan

because living in canberra, especially in rugby league you feel like a hooligan

when you support you team, it’s the same with the brumbies

but i shouldn’t be ashamed to do my show

but i don’t want to be a hooligan, but in hindsight i know i am trying to show my community spirit

and i want to have fun doing the raiders show, because, it puts me out there

i know, when i was at a arts centre opening, these people really liked what i do

they admire my integrity, i am trying to show my community spirit

and it makes me feel great, when people think i am cool enough

to put my raiders show on, whether they win or lose

pour some sugar on me, the raiders are against the sharks this weekend

rocket, oh yeah, get ready for a rocket baby

the bad and mean green machine, fiersome men from the ACT

don’t try and stop those men in green, or we’ll hit ya hit ya hit ya

and you’ll see green, i wanna do my raiders show, no matter

what my voices say, i know the raiders ****, but it’s great to try and get behind them

you see i am going to battle my voices when i put this show on

and i hope, i can do well, cause mate if i wanna be famous

i have to put my raiders show on against my voices

i will conquer them, i hate being treated like a hooligan or a little young dude

who is too shy to put shows on youtube, all because i felt good when

kids mucked with me, saying raiders **** don’t they, man

but it could’ve been a tease because the kid was really partying

and i feel like taking over the party scene, no the raiders aren’t that good, but i wanna be famous

and i am battling my voices whether you guys like it or not

so i will do brumbies night live friday night and the raiders show sunday night

watch it on AAA youtube TV, to see how i entertain

easter is candy easter is candy

kids buying candy at the local shop

easter is a time for families to gather round

and celebrate the resurrection yeah

easter is great, easter is cool

daddy puts all the easter eggs out in the yard

while us kids went to boring church

yeah the resurrection rocks

we need a parade here in canberra

because easter here is very dull

easter should be the time to party

cause it shows we die and come back to life

easter is cool and totally radical dude

easter brings life in children’s eyes, when they see the chocolate

and it brings love to mummy’s eyes when she found out when you die you come back

and easter explains life, easter explains life, easter explains life in so many ways

and all the street children who haven’t got a home

because right wing governments don’t give a ****

easter should bring these children peace and persuade tony abbott to care for them

it’s hard as a street person, to like our holidays, it’s hard for them at all

because big rich people saying, I WANT MONEY I WANT MONEY

that is not what easter is about,

it’s about the resurrection of jesus christ

and explains the death cycle

when you die, you come back to life again as someone else

to start another life to live

easter is the time of year, to have fun, and munch chocolate

HAPPY EASTER DUDES

You see after all i my mates laughed at me for being a little ****** kid

there was one friend called lyle who wanted to be my friend at school

and i at that time, thought this friend was cool, seeing i knew nobody else

but we had fun together, like a dream made me understand,that we used

to play basketball at the local courts which i thought was cool, and it would’ve

been nice, if my other school mates would join in, but we did play games

with other kids who dropped in, i just had a dream, where my mate the messiah

came in and taught me how to become respected enough to make it to hollywood

and before you say it, i know he isn’t my daddy, but i was a daddy figure to him

letting him stay at my house, you see we went to the movies and top floriade

and also to the national multi cultural festival, and the messiah said, instead of

shop food, how about you have multi cultural food, yeah, it’s tasty, hey, we also

went to each others houses, i had him sleep over, but i never slept over there,

mainly because, i have caused a lot of problems expecting to sleep over in my childhood

you see lyle came in my dream last night to show me the ***** cool kid, in the form of the messiah

he made the messiah, buy all these tickets to expensive events, like maybe a soccer game

between barcelona and ajax, yeah i used to joke with him, and we saw a stand up comedy event, and we find

that kind of thing very funny, but i heard the witch doctor who killed my previous life patrick dunbar

saying, hang on, are you the guy from the charnwood inn, and he told men to shut up, and i said

leave me alone, i am a family person, i don’t need the crazy demented witch doctor kidnapping my cool kid

the witch doctor, is trying to steal my mate patricks voice saying, i am not a cool kid, to make me too scared

and i really wanted a mate, and lyle was the only young bloke who gave a ****, like take me to bet on the footy

once we turned 18, but in school, we went to the footy and going over to each other’s houses, to play cricket or footy, and mate

lyle was a really big wild boy, he was, ya know a fast bowler and a tough footballer, and i tried to keep fit, so i can

outclass him, and i think i succeeded, but ya know, if you ******* a mate like lyle, he will get cranky, cause he has a

problem worth anger, we also slept in the backyard tent, where lyle said, i ain’t scared of the old boogie woman

but, i was wanting cool friends, as he liked the idea of going to bed early, and my family and lyles family all got together

and talked to each other, and i enjoyed my conversations with lyles mum, mind you, there were moments, where i was

scared to go over, because, i feel if i **** people off, i will have no friends, i remember me and lyle used to be big eaters

but, i don’t want to eat like that no more, because, i don’t want any blood clot, mind you i still eat a lot, but i write and do art

because i need to do things with my art, so my eating doesn’t get the better of me, there is more to brian allan than eating

too much, me and lyle were like two cool people playing bingo, and that was cool, you see,in my dream, my mum packed

a whole case of cakes, for me to share with all the young dudes at the festival, but the messiah felt uneasy and said i don’t want

to be a kid, he said he wants to fucken grow up, but i can’t understand why, he is telling me to grow up, and i hate the idea

of being treated like i am trying to be like other people, like my brother, i am like brian, just me, brian allan, i had fun with lyle

despite him being a loud mouth wild person who liked the idea of picking fights with everyone, but i have to understand

i ******* a lot of people, but this dream shows, all the fun times, i did a horrible crime, but i still think that it was my belief

of being greame thorne and pastrick diunbar in my previous life, being taken too young, was the reason of all my crazy person crimes

and dad couldn’t except i had a mental illness, and either can my old school mates, you see i ignored patrick at the st george bank

in the mall, and i heard him say get ****** brainy, like he was worried, why isn’t brian talking to me, and i said to pat, hi pat and

patrick went sarcastically hi brian, your brother isn’t around anymore, brian, we don’t have to be nice to you, i had fun with patrick

and lyle as well, in the new years eve concert to end the 1980s, me patrick and lyle went to the belconnen soccer club for the

end of the 80s nye party, and me and patrick and lyle had a few XXXX’s, and i got drunk and crashed over patricks house

and i crashed over patricks house, too much, patrick got sick of the fucken sight of me, i can understand in hindsight, that

i ****** him off, so i annoyed the mall crowd, and i was invited to a party, but because of the party i had at my house, where

my dad played taxi driver to all my drunken mates, and i wasn’t really a good host, because, i prefer the laid back lifestyle

partying out in the firehouse nightclub and the private bin in front of youtube, and i would love a televised youtube nye bash

on youtube, but they don’t, so i made my own nye bash, and it was pretty radically successful as well, i have still got my cool

jeans on, from those days, but i am a talented entertainer and actor now, and as much fun as i had with patrick and lyle,

those days are in the past, i am moving on now,

my granny took me to bingo too, my nanny watched the end of the 70s nye concert with me

i remember when jimmy barnes through beer cans at a concert at alberton oval, adelaide

yeah, totally radical dudes

i like people doing what they want to do

i can’t stand people copying me

cause to me, thet are very very nerdy

i think mum is too respecting of people

too caring cause i don’t want to meet my mates when i am 70

i prefer to be living in adelaide or maybe even hollywood

have my own television sitcom

i am a slob but i am no controller

if you want to tell me to stop

just think, i won’t listen, i am a hard case

my house isn’t too bad ya see

i get it cleaned once a week ya see

i don’t have to do the family thing

for the simple reason, i haven’t got a family ha ha ha ha

you see i hate people playing with knives

knives are used to **** people with

it is horrible to **** people, HORRIBLE

I ain’t getting killed, i want people to stop saying brian’s not a cool kid

i know how not to **** people off

i like computers, they are more fun than teasing and punching people

write it out of ya, i am straight i don’t like koomarris or norms cuddling up to me, i am not gay

i am as straight as a knife, i don’t want people feel they have got to muck with me

those people are losers anyway

don’t **** and don’t pity, i don’t do that kind of thing

i was telling someone voices, but i didn’t want any pity from it

i am a computer **** kid, my family are off to bed, so they can be left alone, what losers are they

you feel better sleeping on the chair like me

i hate nobody but horrible fighters, teasers and robbers

i am a nice kid, who really knows how to behave, (yeah like a buffoon)

i don’t like people living in the past with me, saying my brother and mummy are still cool kids

they are complete and utter losers, but i don’t **** them off, causer in life, i am happy

they are angry i am happy they are angry, if patrick mucks with my mum, i will walk past

his house and blast heavy metal music or stan right to her head, there is no such thing as an adult

i am a cool person, too old to be a kid, i liked patricks voice back then, it is just mum and dad were

worried about me, rightly so, but i am loving life, people who go to bed, just go to bed to die

i liked patrick, because he teased in a cool way but i hate his voice now, because i do what i wanna do

i am not into being bullied around, just because i don’t (quotey fingers) go to bed, sleeping on the couch

is what all famous people do, i haven’t got a family, so i am hiding from you, and then they say

your father isn’t around to protect you anymore briany, so watch your step, i understand when i was young

but now i know how to behave, like a nice person, who wants to help the poor by helping at common ground

and maybe just maybe, DONATE a few tapestries

oh easter time, the eggs are beautifully painted

these are the prettiest eggs that you’ve ever seen

you see some eggs are blue, and others are red and purple

and there is a sweet yolk sitting inside it

at easter time, everyone gets up

and puts on a easter hunt for us all

drink a beautiful caramel sundae with a chocolate egg inside

it’s a ripper, oh what a nice taste it was

i try a piece and, man i enjoy it

everywhere around this lovely easter palace

you see some call for beer and others call for wine

i call for easter eggs as my only solace

i love easter eggs, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh i love easter eggs oh oh oh oh oh oh

i love a nice can of coke to wash down the flavour

you see a reign of hope, on this weary chocolate fountain

and we are building chocolate covered mountains

bring out the cherry cheer, and bring out the nice cold beer

to have with a big chocolate bunny all so sweet

i love easter time, it brings the family together

in any weather, or a penny farthing rides with a million eggs  will say

HAPPY EASTER DUDES, and enjoy your chocolate egg surprise

brian has a knife to his neck



today is a horrible day for brian, well, not that horrible, well he went to

the baseball, with cath and michelle from his work, and they all went for

the local team which was the canberra cavalry, and every time the cavalry

scored a home run, brian, cath and michelle would cheer very loudly,

cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap, cavalry clap clap clap

and the cavalry didn’t disappoint their supporters in this match, and

then the hit a beautiful home run and cath caught it, what a absolute whopper

and she said, that she will give it to her 12 year old son, and then daniel sat near

brian and said you are too woosey to be a man like this, how about we leave now

so i can hold a knife to your neck, i don’t want to harm you, i just want to have

a piece of you with each of us, brian said, no, i am watching the baseball, can’t

you understand this, and daniel said, no, i can’t understand why you can’t come

with me, you are too woosey to be a family person anyway, buddy, and brian just sat there

and then young micheal sat next to brian, and he had a little pocket knife, with him

and mate, he was very inexperienced with knives, like he often put a knife at people’s

necks, as if it was a special game or something, and after the game was over, brian

said goodbye to cath and michelle and ran off towards the bus, and daniel followed him

with his pocket knife, if brian stopped, the knife would go straight through his neck, and

as usual, brian was scared that daniel was going to **** him, and ran home saying

leave me alone leave me alone, i am a cool kid, i went out with people from my work

and i don’t deserve what you are doing to me, and brian got home and locked his door

and daniel yelled through his door, saying open up little woosey, you aren’t like the adults,

open up little woosey, you aren’t like adults, and brian went to bed, and the next morning

brian got up and went to work and micheal was in the front, playing with his pocket knife

while daniel was in the back, playing with his pocket knife, and brian hates the idea

of dying, but every time daniel picked up his pocket knife, he would hold it to brian’s neck and

say, come on little woosey, allow me to stab you, man, allow me to stab you, and brian’s mate

from 1989  was screaming through houses,,saying shut up, every time brian tried to be a family

person, despite not really meaning to do that, he just did that to make the other young dudes to like him

and brian massaged nicheals neck, and micheal said, stop it, or i will get this knife, and put it right to

your neck and then daniel jumped into the back seat and said, come on little woosey, except me

as i am holding this knife to ya, i want to scare you off from being a family person, cause youy

are too woosey to be a family person anyway, brian, and daniel picked up the pocket knife and

said, i will stab you woosey, brian said, i am a famous family person, and daniel said, yeah, a

family person to a ****, yeah and famous only to your mothers eyes, only, if you try and be like us, brian

i will get this knife and stab you in the neck, cause you are a little trouble making woosey, and

brian said, leave me alone, i am reformed, i haven’t done a crime for years, and this person

said, no you are not reformed buddy, be like us buddy, your not reformed brian, brian said

i am reformed, it’s daniel and micheal that need to be reformed, and you need to be reformed

too, and then daniel held a knife to brian’s neck and said you ain’t a man, your too woosey

to be a man, your not reformed brian, and brian said, i am so reformed, i don’t need this

awful treatment i am getting from you, you see micheal was playing with his pocket knife

he looked like bart simpson, and daniel kept on holding the knife to brian’s head saying

no your not, you ain’t reformed, buddy, you are a little woosey, and brian screamed out

I AM NOT A LITTLE WOOSEY, I AM FAMILY PERSON, WOULD YOU STOP TREATING ME

LIKE A HOOLIGAN, I HATE HAVING A POCKET KNIFE TO MY HEAD, IT’S NOT A FUCKEN PRISON

brian was horrified that daniel was going to **** him, and micheal wasn’t that gentle with his pocket knife either

and brian said, it’s not a prison, and then said, please don’t treat me like a little woosey, for i am a family person

and then brian jumped out of the window, saying, I AM REFORMED, please leave me the **** alone, and

then brian took off through the paddock, back to his house, and never saw daniel and micheal again,

good riddens to bad ******* thought brian, as brian sat in his house watching foxtel thinking about how stupid micheal and

daniel are, the end

Sam kinison and Paul Berenyi sing wild thing on Jupiter



Hey dudes wild thing, oh yeah you disputable little wild thing
You make me, Paul, and everybody here in the after life feeling groovy
And you want us to have fun, yes you ****** fucken wild thing
You see we don't have to eat here, we can lose weight easily
I see, why, mate you are a wild thing, and I like you so much
You see Paul I think I am your wild thing, when I see you
You make my heart sing, your name and your date of death
Yeah, Paul Berenyi, you are my very cool wild thing, who needs a break
La la la la, wild thing,Paul Berenyi, having you with me, makes my heart sing
You are so incredibly groovy, dude, and the fact your a man,makes me feel so rad
Wild thing, I think I love ya, and I want to live my after life with you
I think wild things my death seemed like the end of my road
But I am having an even cooler time up here
Wild thing, I wanna hold ya, I want to hold you so tight
I wanna hold you tight, and never lose your grip, sweet darling
Yeah, I am your wild thing, and I think your Devine
Wild thing, my life with you is perfect
I wouldn't replace living on earth to you
You see you are a ******* kind of person
You see you got drunk, and now your with me
Wild thing, I am wondering, I am wondering why you aren't stopping me from being loved
I see everyone loved me being around them on earth
And my earth body says to me, just do what you fucken well do
Wild thing, you see I love everyone on earth
My earth body is a spiritual person, and I want him to realise his past life
Because baby, I am the wild thing, you won't get me
Oh yeah, I am wild

ittle baby Danny should fucken practice what he preaches




You see when little baby Danny came to town
He was determined to grow up and be an adult
But in his first job he said to the boss, I don't like they way he is looking at me
And after that he quits, the next job was group job
Where everyone teased him and made him feel bad
And in the evening he goes to his neighbours house and basically tells him to shut up
He picked little Danny up and says to him
Don't ever come here again. Cause if you do, I fucken **** ya
And then he went to vinnies, to help the people there
And that went alright untill two trouble makers came
To his house and pulled him in the car and robbed all his savings
You see if it was me, I would kick him like a kid and run on down the road
But little baby Danny has his savings stolen
Well you ain't getting me, no way, dudes
Then he went to Samaritan house and his shoes were stolen
And he yelled forever, hey dude alright
Then he started to go to the drop in is where we actually met
He was going around preaching to everyone saying get a job you ******
Get a job you ******, he was doing that because people weren't inspiring him
Except for me, and he wanted me to have a lot of good close friends
And not worry about losers like him
But I was happy to be cool with the party crowd
Especially when I went partying with him
I danced, and I was very cool, and all he did
Is go for a late night walk through the UC
Maybe he really liked me, and maybe he was too scared to say goodbye
To me, cause I am in the cool crowd and he is in the loser crowd
There's nothing about him that makes him like the cool crowd
I took him to the Australia day concert, and I stayed there
Even if I was looking up oddly, and feeling a bit weird
But I still had fun, cause I am cool, and you can still be an adult and be cool
He went home, saying he had anxiety issues, well his is, the spelling of loser
I tried to keep him safe by having him over my house
And cooking him a meal, the truth is, I am cool, but I believe in fonzies cool
Have a job, explore the country and the world, and always have a smile on my face, because I live life to the full, while little baby Danny suffers through the pressures of life.
Yes, now we aren't close anymore, and that suits me fine, yes little baby Danny
Go and get a job you shy little ******.

I was a bite the beer bottle with my teeth kind of guy



You see I drank my beer, and I enjoyed, it, yeah
And then I had a few smokes, a pack of 50, yeah yeah
Everyone came over for a party, maybe three or four
Because that is how many friends you've got
The rest are acquaintances yeah they are
So, to end their friendship, I told them *******
And threw their wallets to the crowd
Some came in with all guns blazing
And others moved out with more
The women of this world worried
As if we were really scared somewhat
But then a big ***** came up to me
And said I will punch your fucken head in
Then he took me to his place
And tied me up out back, and then
The *****, said, you are mine, all mine
Your family will never see you again
Getting drunk and smoking cigarettes
Is what they do for fun,,but when I got free
I was so fucken angry at them, I went to the bottle shop
To buy a beer,,and then I get the bottle open with his teeth
And then drink them down fast,,and after that we went out
To play a neat little game, which is crack the bottle on the road
And crack it back again, and then you left all the glass everywhere
And it went crazy, oh ****** yeah
I was a bite the beer bottle with my teeth kind of guy
And that is what I am

Daniel Morecambe calls to his kidnapper from Venus



Hi, I am Daniel Morecambe, and you think you killed me
But you killed my body, but not my soul
I will always be up here in outer space
While you are rotting in your jail cell
I hope you stay there, cause I love teasing you
You see I am a kid, and your a man
I am a kid, and you are a man
And when I say man, just a age man
You aren't a normal man, but I will be a smart alek kid up here forever
You will never **** my soul dude
I want to sing this song, to all you would be kidnappers down there on earth
I am your victim, death doesn't shut me up
I can't have gags on my mouth anymore
You can't **** me, and mate, I am a kid, and your a man
I'm a kid and your a man, cool kids do what I do yeah
You aren't a cool kid, you are a evil kidnapper
Well, you are now under my power
You see, it's true, I am a kid and your a man
You will never catch me again

The meaning of I am not your daddy




You see when I first became an adult, I was feeling very cool
And I just had a friend who was very loyal to me
And then I started getting very emotional and I drank a lot of beer
And when people teased me again, I felt so insecure
I went completely **** crazy, my head was in a mess
My loyal friends voice was lurking about in it
Trying to say the words, I am not your daddy
I am definately not your daddy, I can be a friend to you
And I can enjoy life with you, but please oh please, man
Don't treat me like your daddy
At first I was unfamiliar about voices like these
I didn't want know what to do
I felt my friend was teasing me, man I was very ******
I said, to him, what for why you tease ,e
I thought you were my friend, mate
I thought you liked me,,and I know now teasing is nothing
But, you should tease, oh yeah
But you should tease a more proper way
Instead of up there with the adults
You sit there talking to the adults and telling them how was your day
And you probably now have kids of your own
So you don't want to mess with me, pal
So I want you to say, I am not your daddy
Cause because it inspires me to move on
You see I have got new friends now, mate
I don't want to cramp ya fucken style
As I try to say the words, I am not your daddy
I am definately not your daddy
Now I can control these voices
With medication and a bit of tender loving care
I now see him frowning at me, thinking I am so weird
And he just wants to teaee, so I can cope with that
My friend has to realise that we aren't young anymore
But his voice ain't really real you know, it is just a fucken thought
You see he likes to play handies with me
And also he likes to talk to me too
But really I ain't scared, no fear,,I won 't worry no no
You see, I see my loyal friend as a person who is teasing me
And when in developed a mental illness, he tried to make
Himself out to be this tough person

He used to say, mate, don't be a kid mate
Still not a kid mate, because we had so much fun together
I know we ain't kids anymore, but I want to move on
From this whole being mental phase, no
I want to be normal

easter is time is coming soon hooray hooray

you see the easter bunny is giving out the eggs hooray oh yeah dudes, come on

you see the easter bunny is on his way

to give us all treat ya say

yeah mate yeah dude, i love the easter bunny oh yeseree

someone asked me to a tweet a thin hooray hooray

i said, come on let’s party now, it’s easter hooray hooray

you see the easter bunny is coming soon

i saw a man smoke a big wide balloon

ya see, the world of buddha said computers are a place to be

and easter hot cross buns are really partying oh yeah oh yeah

we say hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny, the easter bunny

hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool

hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny the easter bunny

hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool

i got a little bunny, as he crawls through the bushes yeah

ya see he is the cutest thing around this world

the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail

you see when i go to grandmas house, we look at the flowers there

but the big bad woof, scared us all, it was up to the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail

and the easter bunny is cool

angry men, get more done, but angry men die very young



you see my dad was always getting angry, nobody knows why he did

you see he was waiting for the perfect time to stop treating me like a kid

you see dad was angry at me because i didn’t clean my computer table

and he also was angry at me for converting to the cindrella cleaning system

you see angry men get things done, but they also die very young, dad was young, at age 75

i miss his helpful side, by helping me understand the computer

like art colony, writers cafe, and hello poetry and FACEBOOK, man

you see i hated dads frown, you see angry people die very young

i am not one of those angry people, that is why i am frustrated

because people are trying to push my nice side up to space

and my evil side i want to get rid of, cause, i am not shy to look *******

but i am a complete normie, only nerds are angry, very angry nerds

they will die very young, very very young

i hated my dads angriness, cause he hyped me up

i knew dad would die first, because he show his happy side like me

i am not living in the past for anyone

dad was angry, he helped me with the computer, i say thanks to the paranormal dad

but i still thought that dad was a cranky man

hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos

hail to the yobbos and the old cranky dad

i know dad isn’t teasing, but he is an old cranky dad

i am the happiest dude in canberra, happier than anyone

i help the poor, i help the poor

an old cranky dad sits there up on cloud 9 wanting

pat has powers to take old hags out of people

old hags who are trying to be cool kids

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

i am a cool young dude, i have a lot of fun

My brain feels like it has a microchip in it

you see i am mentally ill, and i feel like the computer

people and the quacks are using me for some kind of

experiment, you see, they want to open my brain and

let out all i know about everything in my life

i don’t mind doing that, but in general speaking

i am not an experiment i am a person

i am not a shy man sitting on the couch

i am a talented artist and writer, and i do a bit of youtube entertaining

i know they **** shy people, if they **** ya off

so just for that, i don’t wanna be a shy person

you see the lobe is repeating the same word over and over again

like when i said i was greame thorne, i heard the name greame thorne

over and over again, like this guy said he was greame thorne, he just was kidnapped

i don’t know what we are going to do with him

you see i hate, the big ummmmmmm, it drives me crazy

i hate being told that i have to muck around with everyone in the crowd

and if i don’t, i am an old fogie, or an old fucken hag

i hate the littleness in these young dudes, they scared me away from being cool back then

if you don’t want to hear my life story, mate

you should’ve been nicer to me, you see i know in general speaking nobody put a gun to my head

but the kids teasing me, really got to me, and i totally cracked up

i hated tying up or grabbing kids, it was the kids not understanding i was a kid too

i feel, i don’t care if i am not strong enough

i just wanted to tease my dad, the old fucken hag

and i want dad’s next life to understand, real COOL

and make people think before they say, i don’t want to be cool

you see, i hated those kids who teased me back then

it would’ve been fun to play shows with the kids

and have little muck with teasing, yeah, that would be radical

you see, the spirits that controlled those kids voices are now in my mate patrick

you see, i wasn’t liking being shy, i wanted more friends, than what i had

i tried to be as normal as pie with my friends when i was listening to RAGE OZ TOP 50

i thought that was really radical dudes

that inspired me to play my rockabilly rebel chart show,on aaa youtube TV

you should watch it, it is ****** ACE, i know, there are some people who would be entertained by that show

i was the 80s **** kid, i liked playing computer soccer games with my brother

i watched TV and listening to my ghetto blaster

and i drew a symbol on my arm which meant put a lifeline through my heart, it was positive, dad  hated that

you see my brains activity is making me hear crazy voices saying

dad’   your one of the boys brian, your like me and mummy brian, your one of the adults brian

my brother’  your one of the kids brian, your still a kid, your not a young dude, no more

my mum your like me and your father

the young dudes at the back,   your one of the young dudes buddy, your still a young dude, your not trying to be a young dude

then the me ands, went really crazy, and all that is why i found it hard to live

i asked a man to kidnap me, but really i wore the pants in my family

i was CRAZY,  into thinking people liked to do bad things to me

but i hate being treated like a nerd, people are getting me back, but they are *****, cause they haven’t got much to show us

my brain which feels like a microchip, is really working over time

i am currently doing a tapestry of the 1958 XMAS on bondi beach, where me as greame thorne, was singing in a beautiful choir

and i did a tapestry of albert waldron’s footy days as well as patrick dunbars all previous lives of mine

so please one day, i want my head to have normal voices and thoughts rather than the stupid microchip nonsense

i still hear, shut up old fogie, your not like your brother, i say, i am cooler than dad, aren’t i buddy

easter dancers

we are the easter dancers, the mighty easter dancers

we will dance for you, and give you eggs as well

we love the easter eggs we give, they make people wanna really live

let’s celebrate the resurrection with some of our famous easter eggs

i got a little chocolate rabbit, and a footy size easter egg

and some creamy easter eggs for fun, yeah

that sounds so ****** sweet

happy easter to you and to you and to you

happy easter to you and to you and to you

gather round at the easter egg hunt

searching for eggs your father had laid

and grab some chickens and chocolate rabbits too

ya see as i pinched the bunnies tail, oh wow mama, i go

and she said back to me

happy easter to you and to you and to you

happy easter to you and to you and to you

easter bunny, oh yeah easter bunny

leaves your easter eggs at the door

for rob and barry and mike and simon

and most fabulous mate paul

easter bunny oh yeah easter bunny

the easter train is coming, yeah

all aboard the easter train

the hot cross buns for morning tea, at half past 10

e need a little easter


roll out the eggs, yeah

come on the chocolate bunnies too

and then bring out the chickens

yeah this can be fun for you and me

bring out each egg man

and paint it colours both red and blue

you see we need a little easter

to celebrate the resurrection, yeah

the hunt is on for the kiddies

who will find it first

we need a little easter every day

the bunny comes through your computer screen

partying and dropping eggs everywhere

bring on the dance group called

the chocolate dancers dance to every song, yeah party with our spirits so high

ya see

we need a little easter and ready to grab some hot cross buns

nice with butter and honey  and $700 buried in the backyard

ready for the kids to make money yeah

we need a little easter we need a little easter

we need a little easter day bop pity boop

AN EASTER COWBOY


i am the cowboy, a easter cowboy

having fun and enjoying one self

drinking beer and shoot eggs out of guns

and the people that he shoots

are left with egg all over their faces

as they struggle ti the shoe laces, from the 3 legged races

i am a cowboy an easter cowboy, oh yeseree

as we party on, dropping champagne all over each other

fun for the sisters and the brothers

as they ride to the resurrection,

and easter is the time to celebrate yeah mate ****** yeah

cowboys are chasing us and shooting eggs all over us

we’ll better make the easter cowboy say

bring on the easter eggs and celebrate

with a nice cold beer or coca cola, man

i am a cool man, and i am the easter cowboy

and i gave up my life to live with you

easter is about giving up your life for everyone, dudes

party on dudes, i am a cool dude after all

i am a easter cowboy, oh yeseree

bang bang your dead, shoot the chocolate bunny off the easter cowboys head

OH SPLAT

you see i was having fun playing cool for my family, as they went to bed

you see i was given a wake up call, when  i dobbed on my brother left, right and centre

my brother was annoyed, and chucked a big tantrum, and i wrecked something he owned

so he destroyed my batman mask, it was hard growing up like that, yeah, i wanted to be normal

i played footy with him as well as cricket, so what the **** was his problem, you see i know

i was a tad perfect before, like i never told a lie, but that doesn’t mean i have to cope with that

no, i ****** hope not, that is why i started listening to poison like not a dime i cannot pay my rent

i can barely make it through the week, saturday night being party night, i tried to meet a girl

knowing i was cool oh yeah, you see, dad made me and my brother work doing our chores every day

we didn’t mind, that’s why we got paid, and i was trying to figure out a way to sneak off to the coast

to play around at moruya, we have nothing but a good time, yeah we’ll party right, i want nothing but a good time

please lay off the fight, you see my mate, went on a holiday with us, yeah he was crazy, he was that demented

he was too tall, he couldn’t get out of the train toilet, he was cranky cranky every minute, i tried to direct his way

out but he wouldn’t budge, and when he got out of the toilet he had a laugh, and this is what he said

he wants nothing but a good time, yeah go to the cafe to drink, and have nothing but a good time

and he was happy he got out, yeah, we’ll party right

you see i am a family person who ****** loves life, but when people tease me, man i hate it

only because that stupid let’s course, i hate playing volleyball, it’s boring, i am hopeless at woodwork

i at that moment wanted to watch TV, nowadays, i don’t want to no courses, **** ‘em right through their *****

you see i was born a boy, i have a *****, there is nothing tough about being a man or boy, it might be the

fact men can’t get pregnant, and they want to enjoy life better

hello ya fools, how are ya, wanna join the joyride

you see i really wanna party, right through day in and out

some oldie called me a great big ugly snout

you see has he got words of wisdom, to get him through the day

then i said, did ya watch all together now the other night, it was ****** funny, i especially love when

wayne came in and said, HEY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, wayne has the splitting image of bob in the show

becker, i liked reciting the quotes from becker and the simpsons

****, man they were ****** funny, it makes me me crack right up

i was cool, only adults kids want to participate, if ya wanna play sport, join a sports club like me

and join my gang of sports kids, buddy

i hate being treated like an adults kid, no, i like sport the best

and i am an artist a writer and a youtube entertainer

only big boring adults forbid me from going to hollywood

i am an entertaining dude, i can have fun with everyone

I HAVE FUN, I DO IT PROPERLY

I DON’T CARE IF I AM ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG

i am getting things done, i hear a bloke calling me a woosey

saying woosey, i’m not ya daddy, woosey, i am not ya daddy

woosey, i’m not ya daddy, all day blasted long

i don’t do courses that you wait for a special bus, no

i do stuff, i go on my own, in hollywood i promise i will work hard

even in my play, i will try and do everything i am supposed to

i am not a shy pertson, i am a cool dude, man

PARTY PARTY PARTY come and join my ****** PARTY

harry and the force




you see young harry stone who was only 13 years old, started being trapped by these

weird paranormal forces beyond his control, well ted bundy, says, i think there is a bit

of hooligan in his itchy feet, and harry hated this, because he was only 13, and he was

too young for tinnea or dermatitis or anything else like that, you see the forces would reach

out into his body, to grab the computer nerd, and said to him, you are scared harry, and we

are trying to **** you ok, harry screamed, LEAVE ME ALONE,  and the forces said, neh oh neh

we will never leave you alone, cause your still a little young dude, harry, harry, wanted to be free

from these terrible forces, but there is no way, known to man, that forces want to leave harry alone,

harry said, leave me alone, i am only young, i am only young, let me go, i am too young to

to be trapped by paranormal forces beyond my control, but the forces said, you are never too young, buddy

we will push the computer nerd away from you, and in the meantime, we will reach in and grab

your little young dude or your hooligan, and harry said, leave me alone, i am not a family person, like that

i am a tad too shy to be a family person to a kidnap, i want to get out, i am too young harry screamed

i want the forces to treat me like a family hooligan, but the forces said, no, i will make you suffer, and harry

was starting to get upset with the forces, but couldn’t control himself, you see he said, let’s put twisted sister

on for a party, and then buy fish and chips, and then harry went away to squeeze himself through a drainpipe, and

one man put a bin lid on both sides and asked someone to hold it, so harry couldn’t get out, but harry can’t escape

and was terribly scared, saying please, take the families, not me, take the families, not me, but the forces said

i prefer to take you, trap your feet, because you are scared, and instead, of making you run away from  us, we have

our ways, to get caught up in your tinnea itchy feet, harry asked, can you left me go, or i will get this fist, and put it

right to your head, and then the forces pushed his feet down into the carpet, and every friend harry had, was forced

by the forces to be harry’s kidnapper, and every time anyone teased harry, the forces will make the teasers kidnappers also,

and harry said, i am a family person, and the forces said, yeah a family person to a tease yeah, don’t be like us harry,

be a little shy boy, allow us, to push your feet down, harry got sick of everyone treating him like a hooligan, but everyone

was having fun using harry as the forces little skate goat and you see all the itchiness, if you look at the X-ray of his foot

ands the paranormal activity, which is forcing harry to be too shy to muck with the families, but the real reason, harry

was saying, i am not like those families who get kidnapped killed or murdered, i hate family people who go to bed early

harry also said, he likes family life, but he likes staying up, while the nerdy family people (little going to bed cool kids)

go to bed, and harry would listen to music watch youtube, perform on youtube, watch TV, and read street machine magazines

but the forces made all his mates like his family better, because they went to bed, so much in fact, they went to bed leaving

harry to be a little young dude staying up all night, playing cool for nerdy families who head off to bed, you see harry loved

to stop up all night, he found that fun, but his father and mother were getting worried about harry, but harry said, he is young

and he runs free, you see every time someone teases him, he would feel kidnapped by the nerdy family people, and

would go home and keep his feet planted on the ground, with the forces saying, harry, you are a family person alright

a family person to a tease, and harry was very upset and yelled out, LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE, his friends said, neh oh neh

you are still a hooligan, harry, but harry got sick of this, in fact he hated, saying just because he stays up all night, doesn’t mean he’s a hooligan

in fact harry is a stay up late little cool dude, and all his mates found harry is cool, and they all said, your like us now, harry

and harry yelled out it’s my life it’s now or never i ain’t going to live forever, i am going to live while i am alive, it’s my life

my heart is like a open highway, i am going to do it my way, it’s my life, and harry then told the forces, don’t you think bon jovi

is really inspiring, man, and the forces said to harry, we are going to keep your feet glued to the floor, like your a hooligan or a nasty

little young dude, and the forces then said, you sit up all night, we go to bed saying don’t be like us, harry, don’t be like us, harry

be a little young dude, buddy, you like us, as they would say to a person who loves to stay up all night, and the forces begin

to bring out a methane filled python and it took a bite out of harry, and harry cried for days, after he woke up with his family

standing on each corner of the bed, and harry noticed the python bites on his fingers but that was to improve the quality of your life

and harry’s sister said, your one of the young dudes harry, and they all went into the kitchen to have breakfast, and the forces

stayed away till the next night, where they can capture harry again, but harry likes staying up all night, playing cool for his nerdy family

HARRY IS BASED ON MYSELF AS A KID, the forces forced me to tie myself up, i have a mental illness all my life, even as a child

i really never thought it was a big deal, don’t follow my path, beat the forces, ok beat the paranormal forces, i was and i stress was one of those crazy people

BUT STAYING UP LATE IS COOL FOR AN ADULT AS WELL, i really don’t want the forces to trap me, anymore, because playing cool for my nerdy family is cool

dudes

i am not worried about how i sound in my youtube videos for AAA YOUTUBE TV and aaron clayton

because people are watching me, it’s like TV stars, some area liked, as ted damson’s becker said

you should feel free to hate or like my stuff, you should just do it with the right reasons

i have over 50 views on a truck parade in gungahlin, and on nye i had voices of women

saying YOU ****, be an adult, but i don’t care, because i checked, i was pretty popular

that night, i still hear that voice, but i drown it out, to be good, i don’t care how i look

in my videos, just as long as i am having fun, you see i don’t care on the teasing, because i

can handle the teasing, i just totally ignore it, and i have fun, i gave up my breakfast show

because i am not a morning entertainer, cause the medication gave me no energy

but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying youtube, or hello poetry or art colony

everyone likes me on these sites, i am popular, ok, i am liked all over the internet

i am bringing my characters out, i will bring a few more out, i was marco and topsy the clown

at poetry slam, that is why the young say i am cool, and i will continue to do this

i did room to move today and i brought my patrick dunbar character out, which

is a previous life of mine, anyway, they called me AWESOME, and i am

watch my brumbies night live show, on AAA YOUTUBE TV

i am an internet celebrity, pretty **** cool

a aee mr leonard thomas, tried to be like all his friends and foes, sometimes it’s positive

and sometimes it’s negative, you see he tried to be like his brother after he was shaken

for a piece of his lunch, and being like his brother really worked for him, and then he wanted

to do things, so he tried to be like his mummy and daddy, but all his school mates laughed at him

and didn’t want to be a friend to him, and this made leonard mad, and tried to be like like the

lunch bully, to shake up a few school kids, but not for lunch, he wanted these kids to suffer,

so he attempted to kidnap them, saying heh heh heh heh, and then he made his new mate

patrick, who showed him that all that was wrong, and pat showed leonard to PARTY, and because

of all the teasing in the past, leonard tried to be like patrick, to make himself feel better

and went around teasing all the men, and the people at the mall said, no your not like patrick, buddy, we are

and after people said that, leonard just wanted to fit in, so he ran up the road yelling saying i am still

cool, and your too shy, i am still cool, and your too shy, i am still cool, and your too shy, cool kids do what

i do yeah, only yeah mate yeah kids, do what you do, mate, but then more people teased him, and because

he tried to be like patrick, he has patrick in his head, teasing him his way, to stop leonard from getting teased

by hooligans, and leonard was tired of these voices and quickly he had to be like his dad and start to cook

for the mentally ill people at the local mental health drop in centre, he also went on camps and bowled trying to

be like sam marshall on home and away in the 1990s, and yes, he was a good bowler, but he was losing hyp side

as patrick said, i am not mucking with crazy leonard, but leonard had a lot of mates, so patricks voice wasn’t bad

and he cooked, washed up and did vacuuming and put the garbage out, and picked a few vegetables from the

garden, like what his mother showed him, and then all that trying to be other people, started to give him crazy person

voices, and one crazy voice, because at the bbq for the footy, leonard tried to be an old happy volunteer, you see

leonard tried to be like all these people, because, leonard is a lazy *******, and joining groups and trying to

be like other people, stopped leonard from being big fat and lazy, but it also gave him nasty voices which leonard can’t stand

and then leonard killed an animal trying to save it the wrong way, and rushed to the psych ward, put on risperidal, which

brought back his lazy community work, actually leonard was being yelled at by everybody, left right and centre

and he was also told, that to be like the in crowd, you have to have confidence in himself and a proper purpose in life,

you see leonard, has problems with people teasing him, all the people he ever tried to in his past was pushing leonard

down, to be lazy, leonard started to look up in a weird way, and he stopped taking risperidal and started taking seroquel

which gave him energy to run, and yes he tried to be the six million dollar man, to run up the road pretending to have bionics

and went into a job cleaning houses for the needy, for a few years, and then started to help out at ACTEW, leonard doesn’t

regret taking these jobs, mainly because it brought upon a superannuation payment, and cleared patrick’s voice of

take leopard’s pension, he can work, and leonard after all the helping he does in his life, he said, well give me superannuation

but it would be nice if fucken Tony Abbott would give me $2000 for that volunteer helping, but leonard doesn’t expect that

cause, he is a very nice person, and then he lost his paid job, after the seroquel made him hyped up enough to pump

words on the computer and go down and steal money from the hawker IGA, and drop a few dollars on the ground, so

the poor people can pick it up, and then leonard will go and throw everything over the balcony saying, i am cleaning

away my **** in him, leonard lost his 2 gnomes, but hopefully a poor man near him has them, it was leopards way

to help the poor, but it caused more harm than good for leonard, so off to the psych ward again, he met a girl who

was stabbing leonard with a plastic fork, and a bikie who ripped the TV out of the wall, jesus christ, the devil, god

and even elvis, leonard said he was greame thorne and george washington, copped a ****** serve by stupid quacks

and leonard was out right before XMAS, but not to his jiob, but then leonard, thought of reading his stories on youtube

and playing the local brumbies night live and the raiders show, both teams ******, but it was still fun doing the shows

leonard started doing art, really enough to rid all the stupidity from his brain, and started to perform in a play and poetry

slams, and sang a cool blokes version of the 12 days of christmas, it went down well for leonard, and got in a few

weird little fights, when he started to toast his successes with champagne, it’s the only time he drinks alcohol, and

then leonard started drinking coke, it’s good for his creative stuff, like gives him energy in a way, but the coke gave

leonard all of his times trying to be like other people, leonard says, must drink little bits, despite going to the mall

for many celebrational drinks of coke for his stuff on youtube, and leonard wants each and every voice, to fly up

out of his head, he will do great tapestries, but leonard, really needs odd voices to keep up his fun stuff, leonard

has to realise that the people he tried to be like ain’t his fucken stupid little daddy

quickly leonard be like me, before people say that your shy,

LEONARD IS BASED ON ME, OKEY DOKEY DUDES

briano allaino at jupiter moon





hi everyone, and welcome to the jupiter moon

here is my first song

i am getting mighty sick of you in my head

it’s like your eating honey with a big slice of breat

i am mighty sick of you  

please leave me alone, you are driving me crazy oh yeah mate yeah

please get the crap of my head

why can’t you except that i wanna move on oh yeah oh yeah

why do you take pride ib being a big man oh yeah oh yeah

you see i don’t believe is stress

you see i hate people in my head

treating me like a little shy boy to life, well i am not

you see i hate being called a freak, cause i am not

i think people who calls people freaks are jealous of all the fame you’ve got

i hate people trying to make my stomach itch

yeah mate yeah, yeah it’s a crazy twitch

i am not a freak, i am a family person, who loves life

you see, i hate when people try and protect me by being the little cool kid, teasing me

till i get off the computer, i hate people teasing me till i get off the computer

that day will never come, cause i am a computer **** kid any old how

please mate get your big man treating me like a cool kid, out of ya body

cause you are the biggest phoney around, my mate, you think it’s cool

and now here is my next song

hi, actually mate, you are doing exactly what we want, you are putty in our hands

your still getting teased, and i still hate you, so ******* freak

i told that guy to leave me alone, ****** isn’t the answer

you will end up in prison

and then he let off a big frown saying, you are not a man, you are too woosey to be a man

and as i wrote this, he thinks i am putty and i hate that

you see, i can’t stand his voice in my head, saying that i am a little girl

because he knows my brother was treating me like a cool kid, and my friend wanted to geek and treat me like a cool kid as well

you see he will go yeeeah, saying quickly brian be like me, before they tease you

because brian, you are too nice to be in any situation people put you in

and now you end up helping in a homeless shelter and cook them a really nice meal, it sounds so great

and my mate said, you are doing what we want you to do

and then we move off to the club, you see, what is happening, the man, is treating me like a little girlie

as if to say, yo, your still a little cool kid, buddy

you are too shy to be like us, and he said

i know what ya doing mate, but your still like me, your still like me your still like me

you see, i am not a phedaphile, i was having problems, and only a rich arrogant ***** will treat me like a phedaphile

so, little dude, if you stay up, till i get sick of the computer, you’ll be waiting a long time

cause computers are ever so much fun, more fun with listening to your voice without doing nothing

you see as i am writing this, i hear the kids say, come on, get off the computer

get off the computer, ya stinking ****** old fogie

and i said, i will get off this computer when i am good and ready and not a moment earlier

you see the written forces are pushing down on my arms saying only family people do that brian

yeah, i am a family person who loves life

you see my mate patrick is lying all over his couch saying, come on brian muck with me

i said, i am not mucking with you while you are being a crazy person pushing your man into my body

please, mate please mate leave me alone ya written kid, ask the shy ****  and he lives in wanniassa oh yeah

i don’t believe in violence anymore, that doesn’t make me a woosey, noseree

ok that was it, now i will tip a methane smoothie on dad, and patrick tips a methane keg all over me

and i told everyone I AM NOT A HOOLIGAN, I AM A FAMILY PERSON, who loves technology