Go the mighty west coast eagles
They played very well
I know it was a shaky start
But they came back to win oh yeah
They will be drinking a lot of beer
And they will be about to enjoy the week off
They play the winner of hawthorn and Melbourne
And I hope it is Melbourne
You see mate I like footy
And mainly interstate footy
Yeah go the mighty west coast eagles they are looking good
Yeah mate yeah mate
Crack open a cold one for
West coast

My sweet tooth is going crazy
You see it makes me want to crave
You see I feel like a chocolate
And a nice packet of sour cream and chives chips
Then I feel like a soft drink
Whether it be coke lemonade
Or orange soda
Or something like a nice strawberry moove
Yes I can’t control my sweet tooth it is driving me crazy
I want to eat it all
But if I did I will get even fatter
Than I am now
And I don’t want that
Not one little bit
I just exercise to push the fat off
And the chips which clogs up my Arteries as well as the sugar giving me diabetes, I need to change my life
Chocolate bars and soft drink
Strawberry moove rolly Polly cake and sour cream and chives
Chips I just crave that stuff everyday I don’t want it but I just can’t get rid of it
It is my **** sweet tooth
Which is making me crave this
If I feel thirsty I will drink water
And hopefully one day if I don’t give in, these crazy cravings will go away, I ate it all because I wanted to be a man a man to eat a lot of food, I wish the cravings would *******
Oh well, exercise will help me reduce the cravings well I have to exercise to become regular again, even when I was thin I still ate a lot of bad food, I was exercising too
Chocolate mousse sounds so great but exercise is greater
Sugar is a terrible treat
My sweet tooth needs to be repaired

It is the grand old flag
From Melbourne town
You see they beat the cats
Yes they did the mighty demons
Really let the cats have it
You see dudes with the
Red and the blue
What will happen next week
Are the demons strong enough
To beat the might of the hawks
I think they could if they defend
Mate like they did tonight
And put pressure on hawthorn
All through the game
Oh yeah it will promise to be
A ******* Jack of a ****** game

Briano alliano performs on Jupiter

Hi dudes and dudettes
Welcome to my concert up here on Jupiter and it is time to have some fun and here is my first song for you called robbers and bandits

You see as I walk down the city streets
I see these robbers and bandits
Trying to take my money
Saying please please honey
Can I have your money
You see we are poor and
We have no place to call home at night
I said there is no need to rob me
I will give you $2 to $5 and I know that might not be enough
But I am just as hard done by as you in a way
The robbers and bandits said
To me we need your blood
And we need your money
I know you might not like that
But it is our only way
So just give us $3000 ok
If you don’t you will die
Personally I prefer to be positive
About how silly they are being
Trying to rob a Good Samaritan
Like me, you here about it on the news and you don’t think of it happening in real life
But I think it happened and I have to just sit back and say
Robbers and bandits had me again

The next song is push me to the limit
You see when I was young
I was really cool
I used to tease my dad
Who I thought was being conservative too
You see he came up to me and said
C’mon I will fight you I’ll fight you yeah I will
But he was trying to make me stand up for myself
And I thought mate I needed to put pride in myself
But I know dad didn’t mean to
As such but he pushed me to the limit oh shucks
I was just being a normal kid
Teasing my father and being rude
Dad hated what I was doing to him
He gave me medication to calm
Me down
It worked for a while but then
I completely lost it
When the drugs I was taking
Started to push me to the limit
I hated it I really did
But fighting the people that were trying to help me
Well, this wasn’t cool
So I decided to obsess about taking the meds, even if I got
Strange dillusions which I didn’t want I sat there watching
Family programs on tv
Because of the fact I have
No family of my own
It worked out ok till one day
The dollusions came and I did something bad and straight to the psych ward I went
You see the doctors were bad
And i thought they
Pushed me to the limit in an unusual way then my dad said to me just stay with your friends
And let them help you
But it was hard and I felt pretty ****, so I sang fly burgers loud and strong

The next song is I want to go to the movies
Oh I want to go to the movies
To see a movie that is cool
Like raising Arizona and beaches and ghostbusters
I felt pretty cool
Then I saw polar express and then I saw Arthur’s Christmas
And superman returns as well as goal yes that makes me feel so divine and if I don’t feel like going there I will watch movies on tv like Harry Potter da Kath and Kim code and pirates of
The carribean too
Yes they are all good movies
And yes I will enjoy them a lot
Drink a beer or a methane smoothie yeah oh yeah
These movies are great

What a song this next song is living next door to a party
You see we are trying to watch
Our shows on tv
When a great big loud speaker
Played music so loud
And the swearing, mate wasn’t quite as good we need to fix
The noise because it’s deafening and after that
The television played around
You see the computer chips
Were playing around
It is all because we all
Were living next door to a party
Listening to swearing and loud music and people swinging around and hanging up and hanging down and partying good yes we hang around outside pubs and yes we are cool but me I thought these people are in no club, and they have to be careful not to break anything, but they don’t care as they party loud and you find it hard to live next door to a party

That was a good song yes it’s groovy our next song is called mmmm donuts
Oh yeah I love my donuts
I feel like Homer Simpson
As I bring down my donuts
Yeah I love them they are nice
Mmmmm donuts mmmmmm donuts I love them I love them
Yes when I eat a donut
It melts in my mouth
I feel like a little sour ****
As I eat one down and then the other
I give the donut to my mother
What if she does the donut rap
And partied down
Up up up up and down down down
You see if you look like Homer Simpson you must say
Mmmmm donuts every single day
Mmmmm donuts every single day c’mon party the Homer Simpson way

Thank you Jupiter crowd and that was mmmmmm donuts the great song and now here is my waltzing Matilda
Once a jolly young dude
Partied from club to club
Dancing with all the girls in there
And after that we drank some taquila shots you’ll come a partying with Matilda oh yeah
I love a party really really partying I might not look it
But I am a social guy
I go to events to party down with the party dudes
Oh yeah
Then we got down to the great
Football club we watched the game and listened to the band
The music they played was cool and very very hip and the girls asked me to dance
I danced an unusual way everybody looked at me
Thinking I was a tad crazy
But I didn’t care because I am a party dude you’ll come a partying in the football club with me

Thank you dudes and dudettes and now here is a great song called this is *******
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
The crap you are trying to tell me is driving me up the wall
I hate that crap I really do
So why do you want to play ******* to me
Ahh this is *******
Oh yeah this is *******
Watching ****** reality television which doesn’t mean a thing
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
You see they play gridiron
And they play ice hockey
And yeah it is party time
I like partying and I like teasing
The conservos as they are doing their jobs
You see ahh they speak ******* total total *******
Ahh this is *******
It is total *******
Watching the crap they speak on sky news on win
You see it is right wing crap ya see
As the oldies sit there with their cup of tea
Yeah that is *******
Total utter *******
Yes ******* comes around
In their mouths every day
Yes they do
Ahh they speak *******
Complete and utter *******
And that is the truth
Or is it ahhhh *******
Thanks guys and gals and I want to say this enjoy Jupiter and I will see you when I come again.

I love Aussie rules
I support the Sydney swans
And I like other interstate teams
As well as Melbourne and Carlton
I like watching family vlogs
They add a bit of happiness
Into a very great day
I like doing tapestries
I like drawing too
I like 80s music
Because it brings me back to my youth
I like parades such as Christmas
Halloween 4th of July and thanksgiving
I like watching heavy metal
Concerts on YouTube
It is pretty rad
I like Apple computers
Very easy to use
I like watching tv like home and away and neighbours and 800 words and the good doctor
And more
I like exercise keeping pretty fit
I like watching Christmas concerts on tv or being there
I like going to the cosmos in my sleep to muck with people who are dead and some alive
I like to live my life
To the full my old son
But most of all I like my mum
For looking after me when the pressure was on

I want something to calm me down at bedtime it is the only way to be
Everyone should be calm at bedtime oh yeah we should
It is good to be calm and it is
Good to be cool
But being calm at bedtime oh yes indeed
Dreaming of going to space to play around with the dead
Like my uncle Stan and ray
And my good old dad
It is really good to be calm
At bedtime
And think about the parties
You will have and don’t forget to say as you are planning to go to bed it is a happy thing to be
Welcome to Australia Britain
Or France i turned to the party
In my underpants just my underpants nothing more
If you plan a good birthday party
Plan it after bed
Because you will get really tired
Oh yeah my Aunty said
You see plan your life never turn back yeah mate yeah it is fine
It is good to be calm at bedtime
Dreaming of silly things as well as smart
Getting drunk in methane smoothies and you feel very cool
You will always break the golden golden rule
Being calm at bedtime is cool
Don’t you think
Welcome to Australia Britain or France I turned up to my party in my underpants just my underpants nothing more
Nothing more nothing less
It puts me to the test
You see being cool at bedtime
Oh yeah that sounds fine

I like Patrick, he was my best friend
He booted me up the backside
He took me to concerts and we went to the footy
Yeah it was a cool party we had
We ate junk food together
And ate chips and coke
It was fun for us
He was a happy person and loved life just like me
Yes we were very much kindred spirits
You see we joked around together and talked for a while
About our other mate
Yes it was fun teasing him
But he got mental and started to be a bully in his town
And now nobody likes him
Patrick was nice and as we talked oh yeah
We were two loud men
Being cool, yeah
Partying all night as we should do
He gave me his jimmy Barnes albums only to have them being taken
I hated that I really wanted
To be Patrick’s friend till death day
But not in voices, in the real world
Patrick was a very cool friend
We watched all together now e street and music shows
And listened to heavy metal records and tapes
So, how cool was Patrick as a friend yes, I think of him when I party, yes I will remember the positive attitude

It is time for your birthday
Let’s rock and roll yeah
It is time for your birthday
Time to party
Opening all your presents
How cool
Getting down to every groove
Not knowing what you are getting dude
I hope I get something good oh yeah
Partying is right partying is fun
Go to the club to get down and say party on for uncle ray
I love movement I live for life
I never get in any strife
Oh yeah oh yeah party on party on
Partying is fun for your mate Ron
People called me bron back then
Drinking scotch on the rocks
With bourbon oh yeah
I want everyone to say to me
That I am cool oh yeah I am cool
I don’t believe in being negative
I remain positive in every part of my life
I am cool I am cool
Better than you
I am cool
I will party with the cool dudes
Yes I will

I enjoy life every day and every night
I like to party I like to have fun
And say c’mon dudes let’s party right
Get down into the cold and frosty night
Enjoying life is what I do
And I will do it with all of you
The devil doesn’t stop me
From having fun
Kicking conservos up the ***
Party is my middle name
I will go home and watch fame
So carn the dancers and carn
The dudes
Everybody thinks I am a cool dude
I get down yeah that is me
I am the sort to be real happy
Oh yeah was my motto
Ummmm was my favourite word
Not that it is a word my mate
I will party on days I stay up late
Move it on up right to the top
Get down and boogie
And never stop
Party party party
Yes that’s right
Party in the day as well as at night

I party all day and night
I don’t want to get into a fight
Or a scuffle oh know
It’s not for me
I will get a coke and party with the blokes in an attemption to try and get a chick
But I don’t like having ***
Yes, I am a loser like that
But I still wanna party yeseree
I will get on the dance floor
And say party party party
Yes I feel pretty ****** cool
I sing along to songs on YouTube
Like shakin’ Stevens and Acca Dacca and boy do I party right
I get wasted away
And I lose my weeks pay
And then I get ******* in a ditch
By a crazy stupid ****** ****
Who thinks he is smart but I am
Smarter
Plus I am the coolest man around
I don’t like Donald trump
He is a right wing ****
Yes if I was there I wouldn’t vote
For him in a million years
Australian politics ain’t much better mate they will put up the price of living mate
And yes makes us find it hard to live at all
But mate I love life
I party with life
I am a the coolest dude around
Cool man eat my shorts
Party all night
And into the night
Party all night
I think I am party all night
Sticks and stones will break my bones in the afternoon delight
Party right to the end
To never ever fight
It is our afternoon delight
Party through to the afternoon
Come on dudes swing your hips
Party party party right to the end afternoon delight
Party by slobbing your food
While conservos try and discipline me
I will fucken party
Baby on top party on top
He has got what it takes
And we know how to party

Take me out to the party
Take me out will you dude
Maybe to baseball and basketball and have a lot of fun while you’ll there
Swing your hips with the umpire
Make sure has it right
Party party party
All fucken day and night
Los Angeles v Houston
Who will win will you tell
And party on forever
Please dude won’t you ring the bell
Ring dingaling time to party
Right till the end dude

A nice cold beer
For a nice hot day
Watching baseball and cricket
AFL and nrl and nfl and
A band in the club
Getting down to boogie
And say party party party
People sharing a nice cold beer
On this nice hot day
Drinking it down to get you drunk and party all day long
Watching buddy franklin score
The winning goal
It can happen
Watching you favourite baseball
Star hit a home run
In the match or the home run derby
A nice cold beer on a nice hot day
Feeling ****** as a parrot yeah
Kung fu fighting playing in the background and we party like crazy from start to finish
Party party party
Right till the very finish
Yes we enjoy this nice cold beer
On this nice hot day
We sure do

I love teddy bears
I think they a kinda cute
They have their big heads
And their arms and legs
You cuddle them in bed
You cuddle them when you are blue
Yes the teddy bears are very very cute
You dream that you and your teddy are flying to the party in the sky like with bourbon and coke and beer and wine
And honey for your teddy
You see teddy bears are very very cute
They sit on the bed waiting
For you to go there
And then you relax
And you cuddle your teddy good
He enjoyed the honey
That he had for his meal
After I take my meds
I go straight to my bed
Where my little teddy bear
Is waiting to be kissed
Then you nod off to dreamy land where the cool kids are
Yes it’s time to party hardy
Right till morning time
Just cuddle your teddy bear

Paper paper
When you read the paper
There is a bit of news you don’t see and that is the fact that this paper meant we get rid of trees
Trees are nice to look at and
Will be used for the birds to nest in and then some bull dozer knocks them down
So we can get our daily news
I know it is part of life
But overall it isn’t good
Leave the trees alone and
Use the online news
At least then you can read what you want
You could see the stories and
If you click on them
You can hear the story as well
But on the paper is publishers
Writing articles on a substance which was once a tree
Paper paper
Do we need our paper. It really drives us crazy yeah
I read the chronicle online buddy because it is better than
Killing trees for news
Yes, paper is cool paper is weird
But then I use drawing paper
Well it is bad but the world ain’t ready to completely digital just yet but I even write on the phone and one day I might draw here too
Don’t spoil the trees for unnecessary paper
Little bit for art is fine

this sunday dad
have a happy fathers day
i know you are dead
and your in your next life
as a blonde haired girl
but you are still looking at me
through the eyes of nirvana
everybody had fun with you
and you were good at the computer too
keeping tabs on everything
and playing war games for a bit of fun
all i want to say is now
we won't be able to go to the club no more
we haven't since 2014, the year of your death
so dad, i know you taught the kids well
teaching them how to live their lives
well, i am living my life right now
enjoying watching youtube, cool things
so dad, i know you never wanted to be cool
but your next life will beg to differ
because fathers day is approaching
and i miss you dad
but HAPPY FATHERS DAY, enjoy nirvana

You can’t please everyone
So you have to please yourself
As you do your work
It is weird you have to
Try to please every folk of this town and one is happy and the other is angry with what you did
And you sit there trying to please these people
But it is better to please yourself
As Ricky Nelson told you
That you can’t please everyone
So you have to please yourself
But it is hard to please everyone in this land because everyone is different the best thing to do is
Try and eat right and do your exercise and not try and please people it is impossible to please everyone, dude and then you get teased by the big young dudes, no just please yourself as it is almost nirvana in West Virginia and the buddhists who are supposed to respect each other are going home along the country road and you will find
It is mighty hard to please everyone, so please yourself dude

First day of school
First day of school
Will the kids be cool on the first day of school
Will they learn how they contribute in being the future of the world and it all comes back to the first day of school
When the kids are at home all summer and when it is time to go to bed for school
It is a ******
Kids have fun as they enter the school to improve their minds
Yes it is cool on the first day of school
They play sport and they do English too and do mathematics
And learn science too it will be cool so cool indeed
It’ll be cool on the first day of school
They will learn horticulture and home economics and maybe there will be a few that like to do art, you see I like art and I was cool and as the first day of school came around I was cool
First day of school
First day of school
It’ll be cool on the first day of school
And as kids learn to help the community they say
It’s cool on the first day of school
Sometimes it is hard to get kids to except this
Oh well, we’ll try and try I suppose

It is not ******* to go to bed early
It is not ******* to go to bed with your blankie
It is not ******* to go anywhere
With your blankie
It is not ******* to cuddle your mummy and daddy
It is not ******* to get tucked in by your mum even if you are a teenager
It is not ******* to do tapestries even if you are a man
It is not ******* to give up eating junk food especially if you want to lose weight
It is not ******* to watch whatever you want to even if it is silly
It is not ******* to say you love life even if you sometimes are a tad truthful about your life
It is not ******* to do anything you want to do
It is not ******* to stay up late enjoying life even if you are a. Adult
I am not *******

This red rooster is a bundle of fun bundle of fun yes it is cool and fun
This red rooster is a bundle of fun
I love life and this red rooster is having peas and gravy too
Cool man eat my shorts like bart
Would say and the red rooster said to me have a cup of coffee
Drinking it right now that sounds great, and then we eat a chicken pie and we think about this red rooster is a bundle of fun don’t forget the Sydney roosters are done
Never gonna win never gonna win I hope the red rooster has a bundle of fun with me and you
And if we think about it the rooster is cool and it is not the Sydney roosters they are not
And the red rooster wants and deserves to have fun
Every single day and night
You see the devil is going to say just one word give me some red rooster and a dollar coin
Yes that sounds great mate

Sydney swans are the best team in the land
Even if they are losing they still pile the pressure on, so bad
You see they won in 2005 and lost the next year and they came back again in 2012 but they haven’t won since but they have been there though because Sydney swans are the best team in the land they always play in the finals no matter how far they get
Go Sydney go Sydney go Sydney go and they are a good team ****** ****** good
Cheer cheer the red and white
Honour the name by day and by night lift that noble banner high
And party right with good old red wine then you party with a beer and boy do I feel like partying getting wasted and drinking to get drunk
Sydney swans are the best team around

I am positive
I don’t dwell in the past
I am always trying to be cool
No matter how hard it is
You see I have positive blood
From deep inside of me
I am cool I don’t dwell
No that is not me
I am positive
I am cool and never getting teased
I love life wherever I go
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I am positive
I am better than the negative ***** of this land
When they say they hate life ya see I say I love life
Yeah it’s good to be positive
In fact it is great ya see
My middle name is positive
No negativity for me
I could do anything that I set my mind
You see I have the staminer
To get me going oh yeah
I am positive I only like positive
**** the negative ***** I say
Send them to the ritz
I love life and that is true
I really think I am cool
Everyone will see me walking past and say boy aren’t you cool if your positive and you don’t know where to go to
Why aren’t you happy
When the day goes by
Pushing the positive yeah

I am a ***** in the club
I really do love life
I get drunk every hour
And I sink them down real quick
You see I love life really really cool
We are one and we have fun
You see beer is the only one for us
We share a drink and sing with one voice
We are a pack of yobbos
And we get drunk and we say to each other
That drinking is certainly my cup of tea
You see everyone says get down
Playing pool and playing the pinball machine and how many points will you get
You see the yobbos of this brown land are saying
Get drunk we share a beer
To everyone in this country
I say you say drink the ***** way
Sharing it with everyone and say get drunk and say
I would like to see rain in Africa
And I would like to see sun in Antartica but that will be a miracle despite it being Normal before Athens sent the blizzard
Their way and then we shared another beer with Jesus and god and they said
*****, ******* Turk so we can get on with our lives
We share a drink and drink it down my love
I say you say yobbos rule ok

It is time to have a good party enjoy a decent lamington
And eat chocolate and milk shakes and yeah
But we don’t need any of that. I can get passed this, I feel positive and I feel cool
I believe in myself to do anything
I drink beer in front of the yobbos they go scull scull scull
I say ok I will do just that
I can’t figure out what my dream was last night but
In hindsight it was a fucken nightmare and dreaming of it
Gets it out of my head
I play mr baseman
And I play it very loud and cool I love to have a beer with Duncan
But he isn’t my mate
Because he used me
He just cares for the richer end of town and not for my end
You see I wish the world was easy
But that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy
Because we are having a beer in the club and we get a beer gut
And we drink all the way Amarillo saying we need to party all night and say
Drink beer drink bourbon drink ***** drink softies drink wine drink cider and then get drunk
Party and we think about the wood chip which turned into the news paper which reads us the news but the internet is the best paper, save the trees and go online dudes

Party party says the little guy
Who lives in the Rocky Mountain high students
You see we can study
To get into the biggest jobs
In the world but overall
Jobs are hard to get
And kids need to work hard
At school to get good grades
And then you party all night
With a bit of acca dacca
And Tim Minchin
And then we will open a bottle white wine and say
Let’s get drunk and say
It is a hard hard life to be working for the men
Raiders are playing better after not being in the 8 and no hope of making the 8
And then we head down to the uni bar and play the loudest music and make conservatives turn deaf it will be ****** fun
And then we party all night
Rock rock around the clock
The crowd is cheering
The third grade will rock

You see there is a force up there
Which is trying to keep my family shy from doing cool things like when we enjoy having a good system with the television the force will come down and stuff up the aerial and make it harder for my family to relax, but I want to relax and I do what I want, but the force is stopping our family becoming cool even though I want to be cool, every time I say I am cool my friends voice said we want no Allan part of the cool stuff unless they muck with me but I said I am cool whether I muck with you or not but I am determined to be cool and I enjoy my life and I will be a positive person and nobody can take me away from it but I still hear my friend saying Allan’s aren’t like us mate and I say the Allan’s can do what we want and we can be cool and positive and nobody will take it away even if you put our televisions and electricity into no signal but
He was cocky like a big rich **** saying stop being nice to us if you want the perfect life but I said don’t you think I should be rewarded for helping the poor mate and he said ******* mate your family aren’t like us ain’t real family people because they were too nice to you when you had problems and you have to think about what your mother said about Facebook but I don’t care
I want to be normal
Do my art do my writing
Watch tv watch YouTube
Enjoy a balance diet
Have fun at special cool events
And I want nothing to go wrong
Our family can do what we want
We should be able to have fun and not just have you the only one having fun
How would you like it if
If you had no fun things in your house
I am a family person who loves to have fun
Don’t spoil it dude

Brian Allan is a punk
A punk a punk
Brian Allan is a punk
Who is so cool
You see I watch concerts
Cause I love them I love them
Brian Allan is a punk
And is the coolest dude around
You see watches Sydney swans in the footy and supports the raiders despite them only winning when they have no hope
Brian Allan is a punk a punk a punk
Yes Brian Allan is a punk
And he is so cool
You see he likes watching boxing to see who will win the title and if a geeky kid was being bullied he would come up to hassle the bully
Only to get locked in the locker next to the geek
You see Brian Allan is a punk
A very fine punk is he
He never gets into very much
Strife and dude can he be cool
You see Brian Allan gets wasted at parties turning the people away but deep down Brian Allan is a cool punk who really loves life in the way of being positive
Not worrying about the bad
Just stay positive in your life

At the end of July I started a new diet where I was eating steak plus 1/2 orange and turkey steaks and sweet potato and 3 ounces of orange juice and mince with red peppers and baby spinach and chicken stock and baby carrots and Greek yoghurt and in the morning I had 3 egg omelette with red peppers and baby spinach and baby carrots and 10 almonds and on the omelette days I have 3 ounces of cranberry juice and I have another 3 ounces of cranberry juice with my dinner and I combined that with exercise and
I did this every day and about 2 month after doing the diet my weight was before the diet 145 kg and after the first month my weight is 136 kg, which is a loss of 9 kilos,this makes me feel really good and I have no reason why I couldn’t do better next month but I am getting more energy, like when I was eating junk food my body was slow and tired and now I feel very fit with heaps of energy to do my exercise and write my stories and do my artwork
Mind you I had to give up all the junk food that I love, and despite people around me eating fattening foods, I had to stick to my diet and if I was going out I take it with me
But I feel great that I lost 9 kg in the last month, it makes me feel positive and gives me more will power to work hard next month
Cool man! I lost another 9 kilos of my weight

I might have been a yeah mate yeah kid when I was young
I visited oldies and I didn’t hang
With many cool people back then I might have been a nerd back then I liked programming computer games and I did a lot of different things
I might have been a tad different to the others but deep
Down I thought that made me cool
I mucked with my friends at school and I found it hard to muck with bullies and I liked to much with my family like playing games and watching television
And I performed in school plays
And learnt to sing songs like songs that were pretty much in the hippy age I remember mucking around at the mall being cool and I was hearing voices, well I think they were of them treating me like a nerdy yeah mate yeah kid just because I watched television with my mates and family I played basketball with my friend at the Southside basketball stadium abs had a drink afterwards I thought that was cool and I played bingo with my grandmother and my friends and even if it is an oldie thing
I was probably a bit of a geek
I might have been a bit shy at family parties where I just played cricket with dice when others were enjoying themselves and I went to concerts like from red tape and ac/dc and Bryan Adams and def Leopard and the pigs in Merimbula but I had a few social issues where I must be the coolest one there and I was I think and I teased my father sometimes but it didn’t get me far, you see I might have been a geek I might have been a nerd I might have been a yeah mate yeah kid, but I thought I was pretty cool, because I watch the footy afl and nrl and cricket and baseball and soccer and basketball I like to celebrate Christmas even if I am not a Christian, no, I am a Buddhist and I feel different from the world but it ain’t my intention though, I just believe in coming back after you die, rather than this stupid heaven ******* and
I know they believe in nirvana and I know what goes on up there cause you can go there in dreams
I might be a geek nerd or yeah mate yeah kid, but I am a writer artist and YouTube presenter

I remember when I was a teenager ya know playing sport eating junk food oh yeah
Yes it was fun being a teenager
Being as cool as they come
You see I was a very good worker and I was as fit as well
You see I was a cool teenager
Yes that sounds real cool
We went to see the raiders from Canberra oh yeah
And we waved our flags and yelled out to make sure everyone hears
We celebrated new year at the with some sugar or alcohol
Yes it was fun being a teenager
Yes I was so cool
You see I was in the basketball team and I was very fit
And I was with the bowling team
And at that stage I wasn’t very good but when I got back into it as an adult I became the best I can be
You see it was fun being a teenager you see I was wiling to learn
You see I did bushwalking and I mucked around in school
Getting detentions and ****
I squabbled with another bloke who wanted to show how cool he is but me, being a teenager
I showed him I can be cool too
Yes it was fun being a teenage boy and I had a lot of fun
I had sleepovers with my mates and boy I had a great time
We watched movies ate pizza
Without worrying about our weight and our birthdays we had parties enjoying it yeseree
But it was it was it was fun being a teenager still having fun
Loving life, yeah mate it was fun

There is a scuffle happening at the club tonight
You see a few drinking people having a fight
They are using fists and legs
And boy can they kick
One of their names is the mighty ****
You see they get drunk and
Act like a clot
But deep down they are suffering I kid you not
Because they are being teased or even fought
They just want to be left alone
You see they watch the footy
And ghetto cheer real loud
And as they watch they try and figure out who is in the crowd
They see a friend who said he is at work, well not many people come to work in his fave teams clothes on
Then this man came into the pub
It was Ernie banks and he was a snob
He only cared for the rich
And the poor can go and get ******
So we went up to him and we said why are you such a snob
You like tony Abbott and scott Morrison and why oh why is that
A scuffle broke out in the club tonight the snob throws the first but then he got bashed
Then they said you are not getting kidnapped or abducted
You are just getting bashed at this club the snob said no just leave me alone and they said no
Your still like us
Stay with us because you are a snob and then in walks the snobs brother rob he said I know he is like us but he is better than that please leave him the **** alone
Carn all the dudes let’s party, man
Now the snob is gone from this great pub

Look at that beautiful baby
Sitting alone in his crib
Who knows what he’s thinking
Maybe partying up ahead
Like enjoying fairy bread
And doughnuts oh ****** yeah
Maybe might take up alcohol
When he becomes an adult
But for now he is a beautiful baby really cute is he
There could be many other things that your baby will really enjoy
He could be a real baseball star
Or even Auskick in the afl
Then he might be a bush walker
In a group of mates
Or even be a mascot for his favourite team but for now
Look at that beautiful baby
Really cute is he
You see he could be prime minister where his decisions count even if they are right wing
Well you can’t win them all
He might be a university professor to help give young people a go or he could be a primary school teacher to give the kids the right start
He might be a policeman
To catch all the bad guys
And send them right to prison
To make the streets safe
Hopefully he won’t be a person who is accused of ****
But for now he is a beautiful baby really cute is he

Party in the house
While we tease the shy person
It is mighty hard for the shy person but we must party hard
You see he is sitting in his house
Doing what he wants but
We aren’t getting that
He is still getting teased
I understand that you might have been a phedaphile
But I know I wasn’t
But the voices are making me jitter and I don’t want that
I want people to treat me like an adult who is creative
Raiders beat Souths what a game
But they did better than the demons well, it was a horrible match
The silly thing about it is
The raiders won and there is no finals for them, the demons lost and they are in the finals
Canberra can’t win it is just bad
But being treated like a shy person isn’t what I want you
See being teased is a terrible disease and hearing teasing in your voices is also bad
I am not a shy person
I am a man, men don’t fight
Men don’t get bullied and I don’t want to get bullied and I want to be left a fucken lone to party all night on this Saturday night
And take these voices of me be treated like a shy person to fucken kingdom come
You see when I was young I was a tad shy but I wasn’t a shy person no, I was a man who loved life I hear voices of people treating me like os sit in my house doing nothing while the families move about but I like to say that I want to have fun and be positive and **** the shy person in me and change every part of my past
I hate being treated like a man to a fight, I am a lover of life and not a fighter

The money is about to make
The rich men even richer
Every penny that you spend
Isn’t the one you want to spend
I love life, it is cool
I break no rules
I see a man eating an ice cream cone in front of a coffee shop
You see people going to bed
They rest their weary head
Well, dudes it’s not what you want as all the men go to bed
And the young stay up and party all night
Rock and roll music
Is the way you choose it
Making a coffee scroll
And sending it down ya cake hole
Ken and Keith and Kerrod and Kevin
All sit down and count a lot of sheep
Party party party
Until you don’t understand how long it goes for

am watching vlogs on YouTube
Yeah mate
I am sitting doing my tapestry
Yeah mate
I am having fun better than you
Yeah mate
I am happy with what I put on YouTube
Yeah mate
I am cool every day
Yeah mate
I love life every day
Yeah mate
I don’t feel tired at all
Yeah mate
I am ready to party
Yeah mate
I am ready to get wasted
Yeah mate
I am the coolest dude in this city
Yeah mate
I am positive
Yeah mate
I am not negative
Yeah mate
Cool man eat my shorts
Yeah mate

I love the little young dude
Because he is pretty cool
He will party really hard mate
And never break any rules
C’mon dudes the club is waiting
For you to come in the doors
And I love to eat ice cream
Yes and that makes me smile
I love the little young dude
Yes, I party all night
Partying is great
For Henry the 8th
And if you are lucky
To go back to those times
It will be party time all night
Move mate move mate
C’mon little young dude
Move from start to finish
This is cool
You break no rules
I love the little young dude
As he sits on the chair
Watching the baseball

It is a party at the station
For the word has come to say
That bobby Fred and Marcus
Partied forever and a day
They started at the firehouse
And moved to the private bin
Blind beggars was the answer
Hungry horse always wins
Dancing to great songs from jimmy Barnes and aqua and Hanson and p Diddy
But this was the day when everyone joined in the party
Yes mate it is so great
We drink sugar it can make ya sick
Yes mate yes you are a ****
I went to another night club
And boy was I a drunk
Everybody dance now
Gonna make you a dweeb
Partying is a fun way to
Show how cool you are

Because I was a real homebody when I was young and I was a bit shy as well, I used to get teased by my peers, people used to lock me in rooms and ask me for money every single day, I got sick of it, you see I was going to the mall in the early 90s and people treated me like a walking ATM and I didn’t have the heart to say no despite being poor myself and I began to muck around and I went into civic to play the video games at happy days and then people used to frown at me, I didn’t like that, like, why frown at me, I love life I believe in being nice to everyone but I did tease a few people myself and they might have been saying trying to be a kid are you, trying to be a kid are you, sure mate
I wanted to be left alone because I thought I met the perfect friend who allowed me to try and be like others but he would prefer me to just be myself, I tried to be a cool boy going from the mall into civic and Woden and Tuggeranong but all I was talking about was tv shows I watched last night or music that I liked and I acted a bit silly, boy was I very silly and then when people were laughing and having a good time I came around and thought to myself
I want to have a good time, I love life, but they just laughed at me and the kids just frowned at me saying trying to be a kid are you and then a few kids ganged up on me and started teasing me, I hated it but I tried to be cool for them for my mate Patrick but they were teasing me to treat me like a shy person walking through the mall and then the young men then had a go at teasing me, but it wasn’t Patrick, so I started to try and be like him but they started to tease me as I left the mall and they came in the mall and as they teased me I got carried away and teased him back but I was too silly to go home and every time I saw Patrick in the mall I looked at him in saying people are teasing me, please be a good friend and stop them, they are treating me like a shy person and as I ate mcdonalds I felt like a little baby young dude and then I went around the mall teasing all the men and the kids and the young dudes were frowning at me saying ******* Turk so we can get on with our lives but learning what pat and dad taught me, I said you can’t make Brian Allan ******* but this made the kids tease me even more by frowning at me and asking for money and smokes it drove me crazy and some of the young dudes would call me Woosey as they banged the tapes on their heads, and they kept doing it, I was looking up to Patrick saying, I am not a woosey hey pat and every time I sat with them, they ate McDonald’s and the smell nearly made me sick, well it sort of made me sick and I went around thinking this was bad, but if they can tease me, I will make other people to scared to be seen here but now I feel awful because I stooped down to their level, which is something my dad had told me not to do and people were getting cranky at me in the club when I thought they were my mates, you see I just wanted to be normal average man who loved life and partied in every club, and I got totally wasted and I got kicked out of town centre tavern (now the basement) and I nearly got kicked out of the mall for fighting but I tried to be cool after this bloke yelled at me and then punched me, I left but I came back to the mall 2 days later because I was being an adult enjoying the mall’s atmosphere and I suddenly saw the mall was changing, no more fighting the party dude which was me and kids were cooler than those kids who teased me back then and now I feel safe and I am on medication so I don’t try and be like my peers
And I vomited on McDonald’s which turned me off it for life
I still party like crazy but I try and use my medication right to ignore teasing in the future so the adults don’t get sick of me

You are still a little young dude mate
Yes you are still a little young dude yeah
You are too shy to be like us
Yes, you are a little young dude mate
Just muck with your family by having dinner, watching tv, or listening to music together
And be a little young dude to us
Cause you are too shy to be like us you support Sydney and they are winning you are a little young dude mate because you like parties and pizza and if you can’t eat that you meet mates for a meal or a drink mate
You are a little young dude mate
You are cooler than anyone else yeah and we go on YouTube and perform for our fans we are little young dudes mate get down and drink and get down and party like a real real real real smartie

I love my nanna
She was nice to me
She took me to the
Shops to buy things
And we had lunch together
At Kmart and coles
And grace bros
I remember one story which explained about how my nanna
Hated people consuming alcohol
When dad and my cousin Alan
Went to the pub and arrived home late and my nanna said
Right no Henny Penny tonight
But dad when he got home was so determined to have it, saying he wasn’t drunk and another time, I wasn’t there but when dad mum and my nanna went to new Parliament House and my dad got beeped by the security check, my nanna would run over and say, he is innocent my son is innocent I tell you and every time I visited my nanna, I caught the bus into town where I looked around at all the shops there and had iunch as well, it was fun to do that and I caught the bus to Charlestown where I did the same thing and I would catch the train all the way from Broadmeadow station to Canberra station and I like train travel, because you can stand up and walk around as well as buying something to eat from
The buffet car,and talking about train travel I remember my school friend Lyle when he went to toilet on the train and my nanna was there as well as as my other grandma and Lyle got stuck in the toilet and I had to go to help him, I said pull it right, he pulled it left pull it right he still pulled it left and when he iteventually got out he laughed
But he wasn’t laughing being stuck in toilet, frustration, if I may say, I was just dreaming about me visiting my nanna when she knew she was going to die and we both booked ourselves into a motel and I was messy and nanna helped me pack everything and find my train ticket and find my clothes
And there were bullies staying in the room next to us and when e got I. The bus people were chasing the bus screaming out curse words because it didn’t stop for them, but they looked pretty **** well ******* with the driver, I remember when mum and dad were picking up my brother from judo my nanna
Came into the lounge room saying hello darling with her dressing gown on and her in
Curls in and played with the smurfs with me, I had a lot
Of fun so I took a photo of it for my memories and last night in my alley, my nanna said that she is now ky Baldwin and she is famous but not too famous
She told me to do plenty of writing

I don’t wanna die
I wanna live forever
I know people die
But that is a crazy Christian thing
Because everyone gets the chance to live forever
You see I want to make sure my body is fit so when I do die to will pass over to my next life
And do things that this life can’t do
I know I can do anything
And I am an artist and writer and a guy who loves life
And when I say that I mean every day through every life of my soul
You see I want to live forever and have a lot of fun
I don’t care how many times I am a boy or girl I just know I will live forever in a soul who loves life, duuuuuuuuude
Cause I am positive I really do live my life to the full
I am positive and I want to live forever I am positive the coolest dude in Canberra said be cool
And don’t stray from family
Be positive and be happy 

C’mon kids let’s tease the koomarri man
They know it is wrong
Cause the man is disabled
And he is having problems
But who cares we should tease the koomarri man
I don’t know it’s wrong cause I am a kid and I don’t know much
I don’t know that these koomarri men live life to the full
They don’t know that they love being at the mall being cool they just look a bit different to the others, but that doesn’t mean they are, it is normal to enjoy a drink or enjoy mucking around at the mall without stupid bratty kids teasing them or bullying them, it’s wrong
Why did the kids do that
I was just a happy go lucky family person who enjoyed every aspect of life and is nothing that the kids will do to dampen my spirits, dudes

You see I hear voices of families drifting away, as I sit and sipped my water, every part of my life is fading away
Because I am being cool oh yeah
I know cool isn’t what men do
But overall I really was real cool
The voices of hooligans arise
From the north
Leaving me in my own
For what it’s worth
Sometimes I feel like a teenager
Sometimes I feel like a loner
But I sip my water being thinking about cool stuff like the exercise I did this morning
I want the world to think about me of being a part of society
Ya know, I write and people read and that makes me happy
Though it would be good or great if that to go touring reading my poems
I have written over 1000 poems and I feel real cool
It sure gives me something to think about as I sip my water
I am cool
I think about all the bad things that could happen if I look like a bully but I am not a bully I am a family guy who really loves life

Party p p p party
A time to celebrate all day long
Everyone celebrates
The time of the week
You really unwind
Partying is fun ya see
When you go to the club
And you have a few more
Drinks your party sense will feel
Like getting down
And showing everyone
Who is here to party on
And Make the wine taste so great
We dance to heavy metal
We dance to noiseworks
Hot chilli woman makes you weak at the knees
My cat and dog both has fleas
And then you party right down to your knees
Party time is fun for all
Party party party mate from start to finish yeah
Just sit there drinking ya beer
The itch on your stomach shows you the cool kid you used to be
And then it is time to party from your head to your feet

You see I am a cool kid
I am being mucked with by everyone
I love life mate
I am a cool kid mate
I watch interesting television
And I party at fun events
I am a cool kid better than my family
Some members of my family treat me like ****
Like I don’t belong in this world
You see I don’t help many people but I do want to help
You see I am a cool kid
I am being mucked with by all
I love YouTube but I am not addicted
I don’t want to get bullied because I am cool
My dad said he doesn’t wanna be cool
But now his next life is being pretty loud
You see I am cool I am cool
The coolest dude around
I love family life and I am no hooligan, no
I love life like a real family cool kid does
I am a cool kid a cool kid
I live my life for having fun
I kick conservertives up the ***
Even when all the conservatives were saying they want me off the street I said slowly that I am a cool kid who loves life more
Than anyone of those conservative *****
I am a cool kid a cool kid
I am being mucked with by all family people, if you have the
Need to be conservative you should risk getting kicked up the ***
Stick you fucken rules up ya fucken ***
Cause I am a cool kid a cool kid
Who really lives my life to the fullest

I am sick of getting teased by my family I know the young ones are saying they aren’t teasing me but they are
You see I was really looking forward to going to my cousins 21st birthday but she just treats me like a shy hooligan and I am not a shy hooligan, I know I never looked interested in having *** but I think they are treating me like a ****** and I could still be a family person
A family person who goes to sporting events and help out at local football matches I Also am the family person who likes to be apart of the city but this ****** city called Canberra is taking everything away that I liked going to, I am not a hooligan like when I really wanted to go to the Christmas carols in the domain in Sydney they fucken treat me like I am a fucken hooligan and that drives me crazy, I hate being treated like a hooligan because I am a real family person maybe I never had *** maybe I don’t look like I love life, but I do love life and I am not a hooligan
I am mucking with the families and I prefer to stay with the families because I feel safer if I do that but I hate being treated like a hooligan by my family when all I ever wanted is to be treated with a bit of respect and
I know not to go to schools but that isn’t really that exciting anyway I prefer to go to cool events where I can really let my hair down, I always wanted to stay with the families cause I feel safe like that but I am treated like a piece of meat
By the young members of my family and I want them to understand that I was being a love life kind of man and yeah, I was being a man when I was young but just because I never had ***, I prefer to be treated like a man now as opposed to being treated like a hooligan
I was being young back in those days and my cousins Kate and Linda are a couple of young brats and they need to understand that I have been forgotten about by this ****** city of Canberra

Hey bro, do you wanna party dude party all night
Get down to every nightclub in town and show us how to party
Mr muppet, do you wanna party dude
Real real real soon
Get down to every sports event and drink a nice cold beer
Any beer a beer that helps you party, bro, so bro if you want to party dude
Do it right now
Go off to a show
With a heave and a **
Get down and party dude
You see I find that partying makes me have curly hair
Every day and night
Eating pizza and eating sushi
Yes, some real party foods
For all the party dudes
Hey bro do you wanna party dude
Get down tonight
It is fun to party and drink your beer yeah
And say come on dudes
It is great to be positive every day in everything you do
So you can feel very good
Wearing a cap with a hood
Partying is so much fun

Party on oh party on
Crack open a tinnie
And party on
Get down and boogie
To the groovy tunes
And sit there eating rotted prunes
Yes mate yes mate party on today
How much ****** money
Will you ****** pay
Yes it’s time party mate
Partying is my middle name
Being a dweeb is not for me
Either is being a loser
Party on oh party on
Oh my goodness gracious me
Just party on
Wear nice clothes or denim
Coat or jeans
Ready to party on
Get down listening to twisted sister or even noiseworks too
Playing music you really like
Do what you wanna do oh yeah
Party on oh party on
This is the right day for you
To get down and party, dude
Cheer for your team as they enter the field

The farmers are doing it tough
Tough, it is hard to understand
Why they give money to the farmers and when it comes to helping the homeless they don’t give a ****
You see people give all the money to protect the farmers
And they don’t want to help the homeless
The homeless need more money
They are sleeping rough rain hail or shine and if we don’t get rain the farmers want to be helped, mind you the food comes from there and you know what Australians think of Aussie grown and  we must sort of think of that but the homeless are swept under the rug by Australians when they ask for a few simple dollars and they get nothing, and you never see a telethon on television for them
But you see the formers get the nod, well I suppose farmers are having a tough time but they have a home at night to go to
While the homeless have nothing
Sorry, I feel strongly about helping homeless people through tough times and I am just saying my piece

The calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
January we open a champagne at the start then we sit there remembering the invasion on the 26th
February time to celebrate multi culturalism and valentine
March it’s Canberra’s birthday where we celebrate
April Easter and Anzac Day to remember the past
Oh yeah the year is fine and the party in every house are cool
Cause the calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
May time to celebrate a day with your mum
June the start of winter freeze up your *** when the queen celebrates the big freeze at the footy
July the city celebrates with a big skate rink
August time to enjoy the last day of winter with a festival thing
Oh yeah the year goes on and the calendar is spinning my mate
Every single day of the year
September it is the month of the footy finals who will win the great big match
October trying to scare people on Halloween as well as look at a big candle garden in Nara park
November watching Christmas parades on YouTube and Melbourne cup, who will come out and win
December time to celebrate as we sit around the Christmas tree
Giving presents drinking eggnog
Really having a complete ball
The calendar is spinning
Every single day of the year
What a year that comes around for us

My friends a witch doctor
He wants to grab from within
Yes, he is a witch doctor
He is a horrible beast
And when you feed the witch doctor
You give plenty of yeast
Oh yeah dude you are the coolest dude I ever saw
You are the witch doctor
From Bangalore
You see the witch doctor
He’ll steal food off your plate
Yes that witch doctor
He doesn’t wanna be your mate
He is a witch doctor
Which will grab from within
You see he is a bad witch doctor
We need to lock him up
Oh yeah dudes swing your hips
And party party party real ****** hard
Then the witch doctor
Will move to Australia
To show us you can really party
Without alcohol
But Australians won’t listen mate they need their alcohol
And that is the way of this
Crazy mixed up world
With the witch doctor
Being the target by police
But his powers make the police
Say just this
The witch doctor is too powerful
Nobody will catch him, no
Then the witch, who is the witch doctors wife
She told him to stop his little prank
The witch doctor said
No I will never stop oh no
So the witch cast a spell to make the witch doctor more loving
Then the witch doctor
Went to the party
He really enjoyed himself there
There was no need for evil
The witch and the witch doctor
Lived happily ever after
And they did