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Hi I am a Brian
I am an alcoholic
My problems aren’t normal
For an alcoholic
It is about being bullied
Which could be the reason I drank
But who gives a hoot
You see my bullies used to tease
Me and then tell me that
If I told anyone they won’t be friend
And as a kid I felt worried
So I lashed out at my family
Which is dumb especially
When I am a family person
And the bullies appear to
Be big rich smug *****
I drank because I wanted to PARTY
With all the cool people
But still people bullied me
Calling me a *****
But I just wanted to PARTY
Who cares what other people think
Those people are big rich *****
Who cares they probably have big jobs
I danced to why don’t you get a job
And rock and roll all night by kiss
Because one of my bullies
Who, now is in hell loved them
But he was a fool, he used to
Stick a drawing pin in my ***
He died a few years later
But I think he is with the ***** in **** heaven
I used to venture around the pubs
Singing kiss songs
When a kiss fan bullied me
Doesn’t mean I will hate kiss
It just means I am cooler than him
And nicer than him
I had another man who wanted to
Squabble with me
But he was trying to hurt me
I said you can’t hurt Brian Allan
And some **** made me **** hid *****
I ****** it because he was bullying me
No I am not gay or bi or trans
Not that there is anything wrong with that
I heard voices in my head since
Saying. ‘Was it nice’
I followed him all the way to the mall saying
He’s a bully he’s a bully he’s a bully
One bully stole all my childhood toy cars
And cassettes saying he owns them
You just don’t know what it’s like
If you think I should’ve stood up
For myself but I would love to see
You stand up for yourself the way they
Were yelling at you
The only fun I had with him is drinking with me, but I don’t want people saying
I wouldn’t have given them the cars
But you don’t know what you will do mate
I felt like drinking but this drinker bullied me calling me by my school nickname
Shyboy, I hate being a shyboy
But this was hard for me
He yelled at me when I had a drink
Even if I bought it
I wanted to leave and never come back
To the basement in Belconnen
Especially when the bartender through me
Out for playing with the kids
Which was the wrong thing to do
I am not a inappropriate pig
I hated that man because he hated me
I gave up alcohol except for a glass of champagne to toast my art
But I can handle that
Those bullies are working in big jobs
And hate me because I partied
That isn’t true but I am a party dude
And they are rich ******
Please don’t judge me
I am an alcoholic I need to Just
Stick to art show drinks
And keep away from Pubs
I am a family person
I like sports like footy and cricket
I will watch them with mates if I can
I am a family person
I watch shows and movies
On my streaming services
I am a family person
I enjoy the flowers outside my door
I am a family person
I see a woman and I want to get to know her dear but I am too shy
But I am still a family person
Loving life is what I do for fun
I am a family person
I like eat chocolate and a cream bun
I am a family person
I don’t let anyone fucken push me around
I am a family person
The itch in my leg just the alien attacking my leg
I am a family person
I can’t wait for baseball soccer and basketball
I am a family person
I have an enormous collection of teddies
Which I love
I am a family person
I don’t steal people to have a play with them because I am nice
I am a family person
I like to do Matthew Broderick’s thing
By telling someone I am the only Christmas man here
I am a family person
I love to say how’s it going mate
To the people in the club
I am I am I am a family person
I love family life
I am a family person
I like singing songs on YouTube
Like hey good looking
And me and Julio down by the schoolyard
Bad bad Leroy brown
Which I made up a song called big bad Brian Allan
I am a family person
I love home and away and neighbours
Especially Jason Donovan with his first hit
Great to dance to
I am a family person
DUDES
Buddy’s favourite foods

Raw mince with an onion and egg
Mainly when Georgina Dunbar
Cooked rissoles
Buddy knocked in on the floor
And ate it, buddy would especially
Love it with salt
  
If buddy sees it on the table
He would eat a raw sausage
And mate, he will finish

When Tommy got a coke out
Buddy would knock it over
And lick it up

A cooked T bone steak
Buddy loved t bone steaks more than anything

If the spices were out
Buddy would eat the spices all up

And I did that when I was young
It was because of what buddy liked
My purpose in life
Is to work on my art
Working on my creativity
Doing a solo exhibition
In Canberra and beyond
Working on my writing
Making sure what I say or write down
Gets In a book etc
Working on my next life
But only in a way that it benefits this life
Go walking at least once a day
Find interesting things to do in the world
And enjoy them
Keeping up my job at the merry go round
So I could get money to fund everything
From the years of 1931 to 1949 I lived as a cat named buddy in the dunbar household in unley in Adelaide
It was a fabulous life, running around the yards and drains expecting people to give me a saucer of cream
My owners names were Patrick dunbar and Georgina dunbar with one son named Jonithan used to pick me up and tickle me on the tummy and stroke me as I purred on the lounge room floor listening to the radio shows and the hit parades,
In this life I used to drink water from a bowl like an animal and my grandfather (pop) used to give me tea from a saucer
In memory of when I was buddy I wasn’t scared as an adult in this life when I went out to play and that is because I was having previous life memories as buddy
And in the 90s I was having hallucinations of Patrick playing with me and jonithan in the form of my friend Patrick in this life
Patrick and jonithan dunbar loved mucking around like two free boys and I sat on both their knees while they were saying to me
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Tommy used to say a lot of the time
That he was smart kid yeah mate
Patrick used to put me out at 8-30 every morning and that is when I ate catnip
Jonithan used to follow me around saying
Come on buddy
What’s that buddy
Come on buddy
I used to catch mice to keep them out of the house and yard
It was basically the same roster day in day out, Tommy studied to be a scientist
And I used to sit on the window looking in on him doing experiments and my spirit made him pass for 4 years
In 1949 may 16th when Tommy was in University buddy died and Tommy was devestated and I went on to help the future which I found hard to do but as graham, grant, and Brian I and surviving
R I P buddy 18 years
Ommmmmmmmm
Bert Newton finishes at 83
Ommmmmmmmm
He has been on a lot of TV
Ommmmmmmmm
Like Safeway new faces
Which is the old version of Australia’s got talent etc
Ommmmmmmmm
He hosted FORD SUPERQUIZ with his wife
Ommmmmmmmm
He had his own talk shows like the Bert Newton show and good morning Australia
Ommmmmmmmm
He now will be joining his former co star don lane when he helped don put on his show
Ommmmmmmmm
He went on 3XY radio to do a Saturday morning kids radio show
Ommmmmmmmm
In 1961 Bert Newton and graham Kennedy did a 2 hour morning on 3 AK
Ommmmmmmmm
Now he is reunited with Kennedy in the cosmos
Ommmmmmmmm
He won a few gold Logies as well as hosting the Logies
Ommmmmmmmm
And I remember when the Newton family joined forces to perform at the Sidney Meyer music bowl for the Christmas carols
Ommmmmmmmm
Chow Bert Newton
And I hope your next life has many interesting stories to come out of it
Like this one
Ommmmmmmmm
R I P Bert Newton chow
From the northwest side of Canberra
In Belconnen kind of town
If you go up there
You must beware
Of a big man named Brian Allan
He loves sport
And watching soapies too
Because dude he is rough
Around every edge ya see
He likes to holiday in Sydney
And Adelaide as well
Won $72 in Melbourne mate
On Melbourne’s big day
You Brian will really party
And he will push you all around
He will push you
You will sit there
And fucken take it
Like the fool you are
I am big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Badder than a really tough boon
Meaner than a bank robber
Big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Never gives up a fight
He will win each day and night
You see as Brian goes out
Seeing people protect him
Brian says no
I don’t need protection
I am big and tough
Then Brian’s friend Patrick
Tried to tickle Brian everywhere
On **** and tummy and head and foot
To try and ****** protect him yeah
You see he is big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Mean like a bad bully
And tougher than really bad boon
You see he is big bad Brian Allan
Tougher than everyone
Eventually he will beat Patrick hands down
Yes that will be great
Leave us big bad Brian
Brian said NO
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