From the northwest side of Canberra
In Belconnen kind of town
If you go up there
You must beware
Of a big man named Brian Allan
He loves sport
And watching soapies too
Because dude he is rough
Around every edge ya see
He likes to holiday in Sydney
And Adelaide as well
Won $72 in Melbourne mate
On Melbourne’s big day
You Brian will really party
And he will push you all around
He will push you
You will sit there
And fucken take it
Like the fool you are
I am big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Badder than a really tough boon
Meaner than a bank robber
Big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Never gives up a fight
He will win each day and night
You see as Brian goes out
Seeing people protect him
Brian says no
I don’t need protection
I am big and tough
Then Brian’s friend Patrick
Tried to tickle Brian everywhere
On **** and tummy and head and foot
To try and ****** protect him yeah
You see he is big bad Brian Allan
The biggest toughest man oh yeah my friend
Mean like a bad bully
And tougher than really bad boon
You see he is big bad Brian Allan
Tougher than everyone
Eventually he will beat Patrick hands down
Yes that will be great
Leave us big bad Brian
Brian said NO