Hold your breath,
And maybe, just maybe,
Then you'll achieve weightlessness

But not without turning blue
And falling to your doom

Consequences are a *****
When all you want to do
Is sprout wings
And take flight
In that vast blue sky
And spiral down
As day, fades into black night

I say this because it rings true,
No stranger to me than to you,
Because you can try to fly,
But one thing remains the same,
You will always hit the ground,
A little less happy than when you spread,
Those broken wings.

Today, you told me,
That I'm just like my mother.
Well maybe I am,

One difference though,
I'm not her.

So quit telling me I'm just like my creator,
Because that's all she did,
She didn't raise me,
That was all your doing,
So if you don't like how I turned out,
Go figure out what you did wrong.

Sunshine, I feel the pain in your eyes as you look in to mine,
as if torn as to whether to gaze deeper, or look away,
I knew this day would come, I always knew I wasn't good enough,

Now let me ask you,
whats so good about picking up the pieces,
when your never gonna forget anyway?

What if I'd rather leave them to fade into distant memory,
and move on like its all okay,
but deep inside I'll know I never recovered,
because babydoll,
I couldnt forget you,
not even if I wanted to,
theres a scar on my heart in the shape of your name,
and incase you didn't know,
scars don't fade,

"hold my heart,
its beating for you anyway"

None of the colors can reach the darkness of my mind,
and none of this, will ever change with time,
because, babe, I can't forget you,
theres a hole in my heart in the shape of the love you provided,
and then let slip away,

"Whats so good about, pickin up the pieces?
What if we don't even want to?"

I, I just can't seem to understand,
why the sun sets, just to come up again,
or why people will lie,
and say they're a friend,
only to betray and hate you again,

Why can't we just lie in darkness,
never having to be seen again,
not worrying about who you see,
or what they think,
why not just lay lifes cold ways to rest,
not having to worry about whose best,
just living life, with nothing but bliss,

Because a world with no drama is what I seek,
a world where you can do what you want,
and not hear about it in a week,
or less..
depending on how fast people talk,
spreading word like wild fire,
because gossip is apparently human nature,

Which is why I've lost all faith in humanity,
because nothing gets better,
it only gets spread around and worsened
with useless lies and nonsense,
that don't make nothing better,
just worse,
because nothing gets better,
I hope this repitition is making the message clearer,
cause I swear to you, its true,
nothing gets better,

Don't believe me?
just look around,
*look in yourself.

You ask me whats wrong,
well how the **** should I know?
maybe, just maybe,
its the overflowing abyss of emotion that I can never show,

You've taken all of my outlets,
you even walk me to the busstop,
like I'm four,
but hey, how would you know?
I'm talking about all the emotions I don't show,
because I don't want you to know,
because you'll think I'm screaming for attention,
no, thats the last thing I want,

No more love, no more affection,
because you give me too much,
only to rob me of what I've got left
when you scream at me until I cry,
for one little mistake,

I tell you I'm sorry,
but what difference does it make,
none,
because the cycle goes on,
and I don't know how much more I can take,
how many more times can you stab me in the heart,
before it finally breaks?
how many more times can you open my wounds,
with your words as the blade?

He knows I'm upset,
he knows it,
so what does he do?
he sticks his fingers in my wound,
and opens it,

And as I bleed, he shows no emotion,
doesn't pay attention to the downfall he caused,
because he's too busy worrying about himself,
to save me from bleeding out,

Or even to save me from myself..

Secret mission of the heart,
well where the **** do I start?
maybe by digging out the emotion,
that's tearing me apart,

Chaos is the remainder of my heart,
and its killing me,
its really killing me,
nobody wants to leave me alone,
not even in my own home,
I'd be better off on my own,
so much better alone,

So, a mission,
secret mission of the heart,
well I'll ask again,
where the **** do I start?
maybe by bleeding my pain away,
in rythmic words of poetry

Clouded with rage,
overloaded with hate,
yet I have no idea,
as to why I feel this way,
you say you don't know what to say,
maybe you should just realize,
I'm not okay,

Maybe its just all too much,
maybe I'm just not so tough,
but I have no idea,
as to why I feel this way,

I can't take the reoccuring drama,
like kids, the chatter fills my ears,
and weakens my heart,
but nothing I try to do can reverse,
the curse of depression, thats dwelling inside me.

I remember being just a little girl,
and dreaming of rainbows and diamond rings,
and all sorts of pretty things,
living in a world where there was no one who wasn't happy,

Geez, I was way off,

Now I see,
that the world isn't what it seems to be,
and those who are happy, are lucky,
lucky that the world was kind to them,
kind enough to let them live,
in a world that hasn't tried to **** them,
at least once or twice,

My childhood recollection of dreaming of
diamond rings and other pretty things,
seems to be only a figment of the human imagination nowadays,
now its all filth, greed, and gore,
in a world where no one cares about anyone but themselves,
but,  I'm beginning to realize, thats what you have to do to survive,
because with everyone caring for themselves,
theres no one to care for others,
meaning they have to do it themselves to,
not bothering to look out for anyone else along the way,

Childhood wasn't easy for me,
I'll admit that easily,
but I had dreams,

Dreams that were only crushed with time, and reality,
making me realize that the human imagination thinks up crazy things,
including, but not limited to,
a world where everyone is basking in pure happiness and delight,
without even a single drop, of sadness, or strife,
because that, my friends, that is a true dream world,
one where everything is perfect,

But that doesn't exist here,
perfection is a true dream,
I call it a dream,
because its definitely not reality.

Oh yes, I remember,
how on earth could I forget?
those chilling words you spoke,
that really should have been left unsaid,

And of those words,
came memories,
that were etched into my mind,
and may I remind you, you were anything but kind,

So answering that question,
yes dear, I remember,

I remember the day you came back,
just to leave again,
but this time, leaving more horrid memories,
than I had cared to know,
I remember the day, that I dropped to my knees,
begging not only for mercy,
but forgiveness,
for holding the feelings in,
because it only caused more pain,

I remember the day, vividly really.
the day that not only some tears were shed, but many,
the day my head was held down low,
in an overflowing sea of sorrow,
the day that I gave up looking up,
in the hope of a better tommorow,
the memories will never leave me,
I shall not let them,

Because the moment I forget,
is the moment I let you back in,
only to begin again.

That moment when you realize,
nothing is worth it anymore
and that nobody cares if you're in pain,
they'll just knock you down a few more notches,
until you're kissing the dirt that was once under your feet,

That moment,
when your heart shatters,
and you're so weak that all you can do is sit,
and watch yourself bleed,

That moment when you just want to die,
just spread your flightless wings,
and aim for the sky,
only to fall to the ground,
and let the blood drain,
along with all the pain and sorrow,

Because nothing is worth it anymore

"But I will soon forget the color of your eyes,
and you'll forget mine"
I'm Low On Gas And You Need A Jacket -Pierce The Veil

Sun burns red,
as my eyes open for the night,
a night dweller I have become,
out to clubs to **** **** up,
dancing on tables in high class societies,
as the stench of liquor radiates off my entire body,

Live while we're young, thats the idea,
but you've taken this to the extremes,

No back up plans, just live for tonight,
theres nothing left to live for anyway,
so lets go in style,
theres  a million ways to die,
lets be remembered,

You are lungs, left breathless,
A mind left thoughtless
and a heart that ceases to beat,

Romantic tragedy, dear friends,
completely,

For no one knows, indeed why the wind blows,
or why it doesn't just take us with it,
sweeping us off the ground, never to return to the misery,
we had once known,

Let the rain dance,
as leaves fall like scattered emotion,
and send out cries,
cries for someone to create a potion,
to stop this bitter notion from carrying on unnoticed,

Let the rain dance,
across the tounges of the artistic hippies,
looking for a new gentle high,
or so called "stress relief",
to stop the pain from becoming more than a mental bother,

Let the rain dance,
as a form of tranquility,
for those who may need it,
let it dance,
in a pitter patter of self confidence,
laced with hope,

Let it dance,
for who ever may need the happiness they just can't
seem to find in themselves

Do we all not have our ups and downs?
have we all not had our reoccurring thoughts,
that just make you want your mind to shut up,

Have we all not stayed up for hours,
just because we couldn't sleep,
or possibly because you just didn't want to,

Do these questions make your mind ache?
and make you think of reoccuring sorrow,
while loosing the hope for a better tomorrow,

Can we explain the minds process of healing,
without revealing too much of ourselves,
and without letting all those bitter thoughts come out,

You know, those thoughts,
the ones that you dare not speak,
in an attempt to look, not so weak,

The ones that leave you laying in bed,
without sleeping a wink,
and you pull the covers over your eyes as the sun comes up, and shines bright,

The thoughts that leave you feeling hollow,
and not giving you anything to fill the voids,
in your ever so empty soul

You once said I would never change,
and this is what it became.

Can a girl not change?
do storm clouds in the darkest of nights not become rain,
are we all not left broken in the end,
left to pick up and begin again,
a little less hopeful than when we came,

I'd scream these questions to the high heavens,
if only I knew that the answer would beckon,
and come back to me with ease,
instead of tormenting my head with constant repitition,
in which inslaves me with dread,
and I realize, these questions, will haunt me until the end,

But really,

Can a girl not change?
she could very well focus on the bright light,
instead of waiting for the rain,
she could very well begin again, and start fresh,
forgetting the questions that torment her head,
realizing that there are things to be done,
things to be said,
and poetry, to be read.

Rip me to shreds, only to sew me up, yet again,
for how else is a young girl to learn to mend,
even the most tattered and broken pieces that remain,

But worry not, cause it gets better,
hearts beat, and butterflies flutter,
oh so gracefully, through my stomach,
to tell me that I am oh so in love,

And as I float on my own little cloud,
far away from this horrid little town,
to a place where the pursuit of happiness can be found,
indeed, a place where my thoughts don't fly round and round,
not letting anything catch them,
but my inner demons,
only to tear them to shreds anyway

The world is really only what we perceive it to be. I honestly believe nothing to be real. Only figments of a broken or even insane mind. How do we know what to believe when every other word leaving our lips is a lie.
Whether we lie to eachother, or even lie to ourselves, the world just continues to be an overflowing bucket of lies.
Like when a loved one dies, people say, time heals, or, it gets better, and we all say we're okay, but peel a layer back only to find pure misery beneath.
Because no matter how we try to mask the pain, with false attempts at moving on, and living in their memory,
You never stop missing them,
You never stop blaming yourself,
And not even for a second, do you stop wondering, if they knew how you really felt, and that all the anger was just emotion,
and as the saying goes, you really don't know what you got, till its gone,
and there really is no such thing, as moving on,
Sure, you pick up where you left off, and pretend you know how to move on, but they never leave your mind, ever, no matter what you do to get them out of your thoughts, they stay there.
Haunting your memory, and absolutely, no matter what you do, they'll never leave. Its a never dying presence of sorrow, that eats away at you, while theres nothing you can do to stop or even slow the process.

Hooked on self destruction,
my mind was a tragedy at best,
but something in the back of my head,
says something different than the rest,
the small part of my mind,
in which hope lives,
the small part of me,
that believes life is meant to be lived,

Who cares about my past,
all the stupid **** I've done,
the best thing to do, to turn it all around,
is live in the now,
forget about all the things I've said,
about being a pessimistic nothing,
I'm kinda starting to realize,
I more than a bit of a something.

I am alone here,
in the insanity that is my mind,
in the storm of thought that beat blindness into my eyes,
for you never really know, what there is to see,

All the sudden,
my voice runs dry,
like a lone wolf in the night, who has forgotten how to cry,
and there is no one here to dry these tears,
but myself,
and I have forgotten how my hands work,
yet I sit here and write,
curious in the making I do say,

How do we know what to believe,
for it seems honesty isn't the lastest fashion,
people would rather persuade you with useless distractions,
cycling you to believe what you hear,
never seeing whats really there..

I do say,
I am alone here,
with only this pen,
some paper,
and newborn tears.

Today you asked me,
what it is that I love most,
well I answered quite honestly you see,
but the answer I gave wasn't quite complete,

I love you,
the way you speak,
the way you look at me,
I love everything,
quite simple you see,
my darling, you complete me,

The way the sun shines in the daytime,
the way the stars complete the night sky,
and twinkle as the night goes by,
and the way I would love for you to hold me in the night,

The simplicity of the the way the sky is blue,
and as night falls, fades to black,
the way the tide rolls in, and retracts back,
my love for you is what keeps me going,

Staring up at the night sky,
I continue to realize,
that I can't picture myself,
without you,

It's just not something I can do,
its like a foreign concept,
you've been in my life for more than half a year,
and may I say my life has never been better,

I've said it before and I'll say it again,
you healed me,
you were the one to make me see,
the constant pain wasn't healing me,

Back to the point though,
have I told you I love you?
because I do,
you and only you.

Drained of all emotion,
I'm left cold, and alone,
deprived of sunlight, and all contact with the world,
I'm my own prisoner,
a prisoner of my own mind,

I have about a cent to my name,
and only a shred of my sanity remains,
is this meant to be the devils sick little game?
because I never said I wanted to play,

now I've been tied to a marionette,
and they're trying to make me dance,
but how am I supposed to prance about,
when I'm drowning in the guilt of my subconscious,
and bleeding drops of red on the stage,
for my wounds have opened,
and became wider over time,
for the stitching of this marionette was a lot less than percise,
and now it has putrified,
leaving me to bleed out,
and dance the devils dance,
for the rest of my ******* life.

Does anyone realize, this is the only life we'll live,
I mean, its common fact, we all die someday,

But until that deathly day, we have to make a difference in someway,
write a book, sing a song, teach people that they can get along,
who cares what you do, just make a change,

Oh mother dear, where do I begin?

I do love you, mommy,
I love you like a venomus snake,
in which I run from,
hoping to find shelter in my own mind,
I run and I run and I run,
only to find myself back again,
because as much as I want to distance myself,
from the mistakes you've made,
I find myself drawn to the idea of change,
but who am I kidding?

In the back of my mind,
I know you'll never change,
I know you'll only get stuck deeper in your current ways,
the way you need the ***** and the ****,
just to cope with the mistakes you've made,
because you've never forgiven yourself, for everything you failed to change,
and you'll never realize,
that drinking yourself into a coma, won't change a ******* thing,
but mommy, I love you, as you love me,
in the only way we will ever know,

We live in a small town,
you live upstairs, and I live below,
where I listen to you stomp about your little home,
you were never light on your feet,
and I can hear almost every move you make,
which is kind of comforting,
for if I can hear you, I know,
you have not yet went on your daily trip,
to that little store you head to every morning, around the same gravely time,
9 oclock the liquor store opens, and down the block you go, for your first dose of poison,
its not very comforting to know,
your slowing killing yourself with deadly liquids,

You my dear, are the reason I hate alcohol,
the reason I swore I'd never become you,
it all leads back to you,
the reason I can't sleep sometimes,
just thinking about the one I call mom,
and the way she started life mistakes early,
thinking about the way you started drinking at just barely fourteen,
maybe it wasnt your fault,
maybe you were lead to the bottle,
by some events around you,
can we possibly blame your mother,
was she cruel, did she not love you?
I will never ask you these things,
but may I say, curiouser and curiouser, I do get as time goes on,
who made you like this? or was it all on your own?

I can't help but believe you'll never get better,
you'll always be a mom by day and a drinker by night,
and sometimes, a drinker full time,
stomping about with your ever so heavy steps,
if i'd never met you, I'd swear you were a hundred pounds heavier,
just from the way you walked,
and sometimes fell, tumbling to the ground,
breaking skin into cuts i'm curious about the day after,
and you just say you fell,
you don't tell the truth,
I'd really rather you just say, okay, fine, it happened when I was *******,
and still drinking,
because as the saying goes,
one is one too many,
one more, is never enough,
which is why you drink until you can keep your eyes open, no more,
and then is the time you finally hit the floor,
to wake up confused the next morning,
only to start all over again,
this be the cycle of the one I call mommy,
mother dearest, I love you,
in the best of ways,
I love you so, that I can only be honest when I say,
you have a problem and you need to change,
but just the same,
I love you, as you love me,
in the only way, we will ever know

Collect your thoughts in the dark,
for it is said the imagery is clearer with the lights off,
Write out your thoughts at midnight,
for it is said that you are blind in the daylight,

Sometimes it is best not to speak,
for the silence tells all,
sometimes its best not to listen,
because you already know whats right,
sit in silence for a moment,
hear the ****** screams of truth in the night,

Self discipline is key,
for you must know how to act on your own,
to do without being told,

Sometimes sleep is the last thing you need,
because you'd rather stay up and think till sunrise,
think about all the reasons you have not to cry,
as you blink back tears,
remember all you have to be strong for,

Just remember, it is never cowardly to want to back down,
because only you know how much you can take,
for not everyone can bend before they break,

Whenever you want to give up,
because you simply feel you cannot go on,
let the stars be your guide,
they'll lead you onto the path you must follow,
and always remember as long as you focus on the moonlight,
There will always be a better tomorrow

Here you are down on your knees again,
and just when you learned how to breathe again,
but now here you sit, slowly suffocating in your misery,

What can one do to help you,
please tell me what you'd like me to do,
I'd love to make the pain disappear,
show you that theres nothing left to fear,

You've made a habit of hiding from your shadow,
instead of casting light on the real problem,
which is your inability to see, that help is availible, if you'd only accept the help your given,
maybe you should turn to your loved ones, instead of turning to religion,

For what is religion,
but one more thing to disagree about,
for everyone has something to believe,
but almost no one believes the same thing,
hence the problem with religion,
I just may give it up all together,
for theres no point,
in complicating my life,
with unnecissary beliefs,
in which almost no one would agree with,

Am I rambling, or actually speaking clearly?
and even if I am speaking clearly,
I doubt you hear me,
because you don't listen to anyone who could prove you wrong,
and that my dear, is exactly what I've done,
made it clear to see, that in reality,
the real problem is standing right in front of me,
and its the same person, I know as you,

Pain is avoidable,
when you don't make it harder on yourself,
for no ******* reason,

Oh,
or is it just that you want ******* attention?

I sit at this desk, pen in hand,
Trying to decode the riddles you've left,
trying to read the message no one else could crack,

Its not that simple you see,
this poetic mess of words you've made,
the emotion swallows me whole,
and throws me up again,
by the time I've read it all,
my eyes are puffy and red,
tears flow down my cheeks,
because this riddle you have left me,
is about all you wanted me to be,
all you wanted me to see,

I continue on in this world knowing,
that someone had big dreams for me,
whether i was set out to accomplish them or not,
someone still took the time,
to set out my destiny.

I will admit,
I really wish, that I am the only one, to know the feel of your skin,
I really wish, I am the only one that knows the magic in your kiss,
I really wish that I was your first, and we made it all these years,
I really want, to **** anyone who has ever hurt you,
I really want for you to be here, with me wrapped in your warm embrace,
I really want,  for me to be the reason for that amazing smile on your face,
I really need, for you to hold me, and never let me go,
I really need this to work out for me,
I really need this to be real

And I really know, that it'll work out for us, because this my darling, is real love.

Break the glass and watch it fall to the ground,
you can only put so many cracks in this fragile state of statue,
before it shatters like the heart you once had,

Let the emotion swallow you,
and pull you to the bottom of the ocean,
made of all the tears you ever cried, and all the lies you just couldn't hide,
the abyss of tragedy, has found its way into me,
they say if you stare into it too long, it stares into you, well darling, thats exactly what it'll do,
and it'll **** the life out of you,
leaving only guts and blood to remain,
no heart, no soul, no more emotion to burden you,
so go on, let the emotion swallow you whole, only for it to chew you up and spit you out,
half the woman you once were,

The glass has broken, and I think I've found the shards will remain,
in the very place from which they came,
my shattered heart will start to mend,
and I'll pick up and begin again

What you see is not always what you get,
sometimes things tend to sneak up on you in the end,
and leave you hollow and ****** in the very spot you stand,

Thats what you leaving did to me,
tore me up and left me to bleed,
and you're the one person I always said I'd never need,
God, why did you have to leave,
I find myself missing the little things,
like drawing up insulin and making you tea,
I miss the days where you were breathing,

I said I'd be strong, and thats what I'm doing,
no one else has to know I'm in ruins,
just box it all up and swallow the key,
hiding away all the pain and misery,
go on with life as you never left,
and just know I miss you, though you weren't the best.

To my knowledge, death is the end,
but what if death is a place to begin again,
to start anew, with no remorse for whats done,

You may have left me the other day,
but in my heart you will stay,
for you have gone to a better place,
and I have to say its better this way,
for we are no longer causing eachother pain,
theres nothing left to loose, and no more to gain,
because you have left me, with hope resting in your place,
now that you're gone, i'll start back up again,
finish what I never started,
be a little less broken hearted,
and be strong for the one who once tried to knock me down,
I'll be strong for you,
because I know, its what you always wanted me to do.

Singing melodies of yesterday,
trying to forget all the pain I face,

My only remaining question is;

Do tears stain?
for I've filled this shirt,
with tears of misery,
and club soda is not a remedy,
for such tragedy

What are you to me?
whenever I ask this question,
my heart just overflows with emotions,
for you are my everything,

My darling you are,
the air that I breathe,
the only one I'll ever need,
the reason this purple heart beats,
for you my darling,
all for you,

You are my morning,
sun shine, so bright,
You are my nightfall,
and you shine brighter than all the stars in the sky,

Did I mention?
you're also my ******* bestfriend,
you aren't like the rest,
you're so different,
I love that,

I swear to my dear,
theres simply no one better,
and I'll be the luckiest girl in the world,
if I can call you mine forever.

Somebody ask me whats wrong,
so I can pour out this purple heart,
that has been ever so accustumed to swell up,

Why shouldn't it? I've worn it on my sleeve for too long,

For it is ****** and bruised and has been through too much,
and its worn and torn, and has made me tough,
love has tangled it self up in this mess of my swelling purple heart,
and I couldn't ask for anything more,
for this love is whats keeping me sane at any given moment,
and this love, its so strong I just can't let it go,

This exspression of overflowing emotion has become too much,
people around me don't think I'm so tough,
for they see my purple heart fading, my pulse going out,
its finally all gotten to be too much.

To the girls who think they're nothing;
no matter what they say, you're worth something,
there are many people out there, who will miss you when you're gone,
this earth is where you belong,
do not convince yourself otherwise,
no matter how bad it seems, its always possible to pull through,
so do not sulk, with a razorblade to your ever so pale wrist,
do not make things worse, by hurting yourself,
this isnt what you really need,

To the girls who put these kind of people down;
Grow the **** up,
respect the people around you, if you have any class,
to be honest, I hope you fall on you're fat ***,
on the way up to success,
no need to be so rude though,
there is one thing I do know,
no matter what you tell them, they'll always be worth more than every single ******* one of you put together,
it doesnt matter, you chose the wrong path, always being the bad girl,
step into the victims shoes,
feel the hurt they felt,
when you put them down,

Here's to the girls who feel like nothing;
Buck up,
swallow you're pride,
accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can,
theres no shame in putting on a fake smile, and not letting others suffer,
stay away from drugs, they'll only give you more time to think,
when a boy wants to have *** in an alley, make sure you don't lay in glass,
and make sure the ******* doesnt leave you, with a kid in your arms,
no matter what you may believe, you're worth something,
no matter what any one says, I'm always gonna love you,
its not what they say thats important, its important we all know its a lie,
so be strong, and tell everyone you've never felt better,
but if someone asks you whats wrong, don't be afraid to pour your fragile heart out,
to the ones who love you, because they're there to listen, and they want you to feel better,

So here's to the girls,*
who suffer, but with a brave face,

Here's to the girls,
Like **me.

You are the water in my lungs,

Yes, the thing that suffocates me,
and it's close to bringing me under,
but somehow, I know, I'll stand strong,
long after you're gone,

Looks as if it may rain tonight,
let it wash away all the pain,
wash away all the reason to cry,
I love the rain, for this reason,
it's truly cleansing you see,
brings me back, for a glimpse at who I used to be.

You are the water in my lungs,
and toxins wander through my veins,

So, do you now see what you do to me?
its not too hard to see,
for you suffocate me,
quite slowly,
and as I slip away,
I want you to know,
It was you who did this to me

It rained a bit today,
cleared up a minute ago,
unlike the storm in my heart,

Rain can cheer me up anyday,
but as soon as its gone,
my eyes turn the darkest shade of grey,
and my heart suddenly heavy,
a storm is like a blessing to me,
the rain falls,
like the tears I know so well,
but as the rain hit the ground,
a new source of hope is found,
for the longer the rain continues to fall,
the longer I can stare into the distance,
for absolutely, no reason,
and just,
forget the world,
this is something I wish I could do constantly,

For in my world,
everyone is happy,
and that makes all the difference,

See now,
whats happier,
than a rain cloud?