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You followed me up the stairs,
collecting pieces of broken glass.
I told you not to bother, that
I liked the way they sparkled crimson.

In my bed we fell together,
souls out of a Shakespearean tragedy.
Destined to be intertwined, as much
as we were to be burned at the stake.

Who is entitled to think they are special?
In the beginning we start with nothing,
and in the end we face down the same.

So at cross roads we stand with our backs
to the past. A space between us unable
to be bridged by words. And without
warning you press your fist into my palm.

I told you not to bother.
But you picked up the glass one by one.
And with it gave me a blood stained glass heart,
as fragile as our will to live.

You said, I love you.
I said, I know.
I said, I love you.
You said, Not enough.

Sometimes I think about that place.
Our footprints in the dust.
Both trailing off in separate ways,
with only broken glass to mourn our loss.
 Jan 2013 Johnnie Rae
John
A man limps down the street. His right leg drags as his left one tries to keep balanced. Blood drips down from a bullet-sized hole from his forehead to his chin in a thin, crimson line. His eyes bulge and his nostrils flare.

A woman walks past him, headed in the other direction. She is staring down at the cell phone in her hand, furiously tapping away as the headphones shes wearing blare an incoherent pop song. The man halts just as they pass and grunts loudly, hot blood spewing from his throat in the process. The blood paints the back of the passing woman's milky white sweater as she continues on strolling, unbothered.

The man drops to the floor in a heap, blood shooting like a hose from the hole in his head.
 Jan 2013 Johnnie Rae
John
I'm sitting in a bar. A place where they all collect. They come together with smiling eyes and open hearts and sit, drink and just shoot the ****. They are all noteworthy people, not a boring or reserved soul among the bunch. And they share stories of their highs, lows and purgatories.

One of them, his name's Jimmy, tells the story he always tells when he's teetering between coherency and slop-talk. He tells of how he died. He hopped in his car one day, and boy did he love his cars. And that particular car, the one his heart stopped beating in, was his favorite. He sped down the road, his hair blowing in the wind and his hand beating the side of the door as he sang "Strangers in the Night" as it blasted through his radio speakers. He wasn't drunk, he never really was fond of drinking when he was still breathing (he says being dead is depressing and alcohol is the only thing that "assures" him). His car swerved sharply, it was raining, and he just couldn't control the hunk of metal. His head hit the windshield before he even knew what happened.

Jimmy looked down at his Jack and Coke and smiled. His eyes, now drowning in salt water, glistened off the cheap fluorescent lights. He told me he never got to tell his mother he loved her. Never got to tell his girlfriend that he thought they were meant to be. Never got to show the world that the man hidden behind so many layers of insecurity and recklessness was a man that was going to span time, generations. And I look back at him, my mouth curling a little and told him that he might not have gotten to talk to his mother or his girlfriend... But he **** well made his mark. After all, he's in a bar filled with dozens of people with stories not unlike his own. And he's talking to me. Me, with my chest inflating and deflating as it filled and emptied itself of sugary oxygen. Me, with my eyes alive and blinking and shining with life. Me, who is alive.

At least, I hope to God I am.
 Jan 2013 Johnnie Rae
John
Sitting next to her on the hood of my car, the Sun having said goodnight hours ago. Now, we're drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, our silhouettes bathed in the pale moonlight. She looks to me with those ocean tide eyes. Nuzzles her head on my neck. I feel my blood pumping harder, almost making my jugular vibrate at the mere notion of her touch. She asks for another beer, so I crack it open and hand it to her. She takes it from me with those hands, those hands I saw in my dreams last night. So tiny, so welcoming, so womanly, so lovely. I look down at her and smile as she opens her mouth to speak. I'm suddenly enraptured by her lips. Moving so effortlessly as she gently spills her words in a steady stream. It takes me a moment to register the meaning of her soft annunciations. My mouth curls into a smile, the same one I'd have plastered on my face when my father would bring me home a new baseball. What she asks me sends my mind into outer space. Her words simultaneously paralyze me and send me spinning into a wild and beautiful wilderness filled with all the beautiful shades of summer.

She asks me about forever.
Memories come to me
in the form of
sweet melodies.
Beauty is all I see in her.
The little spark in her eyes,
the subtle wickedness of her smile,
the frailty of her white skin,
and, yes, even her scars.

"What's beautiful about her scars?"- you ask.
Well, what's beautiful about them is the story they tell.

A story of a little girl stricken by misfortune.
Uncapable of looking out for herself,
growing away from the ones who should protect her.
Hit by the alcoholism of her mother, and the drug abuse of her father.
Forced to live in a home where love was scarcely seen.

She couldn't see an exit. She couldn't find a friend.
All she had was the pain in her heart, and a rusty blade in her hand.
Pressed it against her skin, drawing a line of blood.
Relief.
Freedom.

But time passed by, and she learned about her mistake.
She found a better way. She found a better friend.
This expierence left something behind though.
Something she now lives by everyday.
A humble heart, capable of loving and forgiving,
and the lust for life she had seeked for too long.

So go ahead, point your finger at me, and yell "There's the guy with the girl full of scars!".
I won't mind for I see beyond these scars.
Memories of a battle fought and won.
Forget about the past, but remember where you're from.
Even though I'm against self harm, don't judge a person for how he/she looks like. You never know what's behind his/her appearance.
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