Because we both know the sound of gunfire
Except I, didn’t grow up in a war zone
It was a different kind from yours
Our bullets were words
Sounds of breaking glass
And the shards of which made it into my cheerios the next day
Chewed them anyway to spite
The sound that
Breaking makes

You,
you know the sound of falling bodies too readily
  you can mimic them in your footsteps
The smell of rotting corpses
What kind of scars shrapnel really leaves

What the color of blood really looks like
I see that shade of red every time you speak
  The way you keep it hidden in those paintings
In the drawer that I sneak into when you sleep
Know too well what evil looks like

I can find a place for all the words buried in my chest
inside your bullet wounds easily

If I were not a coward

Staring into the dark irises of men in uniforms dirtier than their conscience,
Find it easier to look into a barrel of a gun
Only one of them holds salvation
  
No, you are not afraid of guns
Nor the sound that breaking makes


But I still remove the safety pin
Just in case

**** it up
Because that is all you can do now

Give it all you have
Because it is going to get a lot worse before it gets better

Go with one foot in front of the other
Because you can not afford to fall

Not anymore.

Keep your fists clenched and your heart bitter
Because no one's going to break down the walls you so hastily put forth

Not anymore.


Keep your head held high
Because looking up at the sky is so much better

Take a hold of what hurts most and toss it to the wind
Because living a life of regrets, is like not living at all

It is a world where everything is against you
Because compared to them, you are nothing but a ripple in the puddles
Of spring rain.

But, not anymore.

In the half light of the
Dying sun
Blood falls from her lips
Puts dark beads in
The sand
Around her fingers.

She traces the shape
Of her teeth
With
A tender tongue.
Taste of rust and redness.

A grimacing bloodstained
Smile
Stretches her aching cheeks
As tears slide from
A swelling eye and
The air
Echoes with the sound
Of her
Breaking laughter.

The waves moan in reply,
Licking up
The droplets of blood
And caressing
Her kneeling legs.
She breathes deeply through
A bruised nose.
It won't be long now.
Closes her eyes.

Morning finds her sleeping,
Face down
And out to sea
Her body haloed by a
A ring of dark color
Obscured
By the blackest blue.

The fishes are her pallbearers,
The horizon is her headstone.

Oh, the horror.
When the teardrops falling
On your shirt
Stain you the color of dying roses
And the pale eyelids
Flutter suddenly shut,
The cheek in your chest and
Weak arms
Begging impossible safety
From your helpless hands.

And the scream ripping out of you
Is as warm
And as hollow
As the body
Resting quiet and heavy
In your shaking arms.

You bring out the worst in me.
I love you, really I don’t.
How did we get to where we were?
I forget the path we took..
Most time spent “together”
void. Too many moments..
Tangled in limbs and sheets
but not each others’ minds.
Failing to dissect each neuron
until we knew everything.

Surrounded and seduced
by hollow words, I am
consumed with vulnerability,
pushing forward prematurely,
only to recoil almost instantly..
Caught in whirlwind we were.
Turning the calm into a storm
when maybe it could have just drifted..
beautifully.
If only we had trusted.

If only you had not betrayed mine,
had given release to that which passed,
and embraced me in our present.
Finally ready to tread waters
only waded before,
and quickly deserted in fear.
You
who I was ready to swim miles for.
An unlit candle, finally
found the flame to its wick.

Cracked the white shell,
you took full advantage
beyond what you were allowed.
Keeping it for your own
upon your surges of desire.
Feeding me pathos
from the shallows of your..
soul, buried deep in the core
of the cave in your chest,
only to be unearthed by the brew’s shovel.

Tenderness.
Something you knew not of.
Nor patience, consideration, selflessness.
And by your body
was torn my most sensitive skins.
Words followed that broke more.
Innocence willingly, thoughtlessly given.
Taken was more, offered to help create.
Hands chosen to lay a foundation,
that crumble it before it is built.