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 Dec 2012 John
Night Owl
You still have not released me
Though it was many years ago

Lips swollen from kissing
Stuttered as hate began to grow

Rusted hands pried open
Salty twilight spotted cracks

And yet you still flicker warmly
Above my chipping eyelid’s clotted wax

A bump from a gentle stranger
Sends me spinning from the train

But those that beat me hollow
I filter through my veins

My hands scream for passion
My heart for pulpy gore

My legs tire from tensing
But my mind still wants more

It would prefer so mightily
I danced overgrown with spines

Pursuing eyes of Persian blue
Golden hair, unleashed jungle vines

It would rather have me wounded
Bashed in until I bled

Over and over again, no truce
My mind, it wants me dead


--Lily
 Dec 2012 John
Whiskurz
The Cracks
 Dec 2012 John
Whiskurz
Little by little I fall through the cracks
With no one to help me get out
I'm truly mundane alone in my pain
With no one to hear when I shout

A shadow's shadow an illusion at best
A memory that fades like the breeze
Hidden from view that nobody knew
I'm nothing that nobody sees

They gave me a name that they never use
I don't even know who I am
They made me this way I'm sorry to say
They've proven they don't give a ****

When I look in the mirror the reflection is gone
I can't even describe all my pain
My body survives my heartache still thrives
But my spirit is only a stain

Little by little I fall through the cracks
And I'm starting to disappear
For it won't be too long before I am gone
Just like I was not even here
 Dec 2012 John
Rinny Johnny
Blood
Bright red when fresh,
Crimson when stale,

I don’t want to faint everytime
The nurse pulls out a sample.
It’s absurd
Fear of something that belongs to me?

I’ll be bold!!

“Wait. Nurse…is that…”
 Dec 2012 John
dj
Mothra
 Dec 2012 John
dj
I never noticed until now
Detroit is a real town

Thru a puddle, I go
Past the shuttered laundromat
The charcoal stump colonials
Carnivorous ivy
Strangling the
Rustbolt cars lining the
Pothole roads that I never noticed
Until now, Detroit is a real town

At the corner of Rosa Parks Dr.,
A rotting moonlight and gasoline aroma
A damp liquor store and a bus-stop
               sign,
6 ghosts linger around the metal post
Like silvery mothra ,
Clinging at night to an outdoor light
The saviour stop.
For tiffany spirits
With expressionless faces.

Two phantom headlights manifest
Out of the indescribable looming night
And park at the sign

The ghosts faint
Thru the double doors
Of one rickety, dutiful citybus
The tailpipes dripping wil-o'-the-wisp
As it proceeds out of my view
Into dark night shade.









.
I wish I could say this was a dramatization. The area surrounding UofDM (the small, private, Catholic sancturary of a college I used attend) gives me the chills at night. And I swear, every person I would see at the bus stops (there really is a street called Rosa Parks Dr. with a corner bus stop) looked like a ghost.
 Dec 2012 John
Rudyard Kipling
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
’Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other’s tale—
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations-worm and savage otherwise,—
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger—Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue— to the scandal of The ***!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity—must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions—not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions—in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!—
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges— even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons—even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish—like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it cames that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice—which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern—shall enthral but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.
 Dec 2012 John
Kevin Eli
I just realized today that I have never been in a healthy relationship with anybody in my life.
Not friends, nor family, nor lovers.
I am a liar.
I am a frightened Child.
I am a broken, sick individual
More than just a foot in the grave,
A living, hollow, death.
My own slave.

I can change that right now, Today.
Grasp the moment,
Love Myself.
Intensely.

Close my eyes,
Find the inner flame,
Concentrate the pain,
Put it in a box for God to cast out of the fray,
Into the river of time,
And let it all wash away...

Push it away.
Gently, let it flow down stream
To be consumed by the waves
In the great ocean

It is the only way I can be saved.
I must and will take it minute by minute, until I can shake off my unnatural ways.
 Dec 2012 John
T R H
liar
 Dec 2012 John
T R H
For someone who prides themselves on always being honest,
                          I am really such a liar

And for someone who likes to act all cold hearted and tough,
                            I'm a lover not a fighter

And when I say "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care"
                          It's because I care too much

And when I seem level headed, collected, and calm,
                            My insides are really mush

So when I inevitably get **** faced and text you:

                                        "I love you"

Or,

               "I  hate you"

Or,

                         "I hate you because I love you"

Please let me down easily

Because for someone who constantly claims you mean next to nothing to her,
                                           I am really such a liar.
 Dec 2012 John
Ben
Cheater - A Rant
 Dec 2012 John
Ben
i'm in a dangerous state of mind
with no care for living this life
where human emotions are traded
for less than a pack of rubbers
but you didn't even use those
so how much did i truly mean
when the push came to shove
and grinding hips
with moaning lips
that whispered, screamed,
and cried his name
on the night you ****** my heart away
where loyalty takes a literal backseat
to pleasure
and a long term relationship
is laughing stock material
ha ha standup, ain't i funny
to look for something more than this
but i would choke on my own tongue
before i'd speak bad of you
my backstabbing lover
unfaithful friend
i hope to god it he was worth it
the cost was more than just tears
but blood spray on the bathroom mirror
and an empty place where i once
used to love
permanently empty
i can't find the will to care
more than a few half-hearted,
correct that, heartless
obscenities muttered under my breath
with ****** on my mind
a 3:30am fantasy to help dull
the pain that i should be feeling
maybe i'm just a pessimist,
fatalist, cynical, and negative
but my lack of surprise cuts the most
lied to by my mind for those
two months of my life
that i thought i had it all
better to have loved and lost
but even better to **** it all
and just go out with your name on my lips
and your lies in my heart
i hope you think of me when you're with him
that you choke on your tears
plagued with the worst emotions and loss
a better killer than any gun
i gave you everything and you gave it away
i can't sleep at night because when i close my eyes
all i see is you with him
 Dec 2012 John
Lee
So I was walking down the street the other day,
smoking my cigarette,
and enjoying it,
and singing fake songs to myself,
and I walk past a small car,
and it made me stop,
because its strange to see a small car on my street.
Especially a small car painted in bright clown colors,
and especially a small clown colored car filled with smoke,
and especially a small clown colored car filled with smoke and what looks to be clowns.
So I decided to investigate,
and I walked up,
and I tapped on the window,
and as soon as I did all I could hear was screaming and kicking.
I took a step back because
I mean
****,
what if it exploded?
And as the small colorful clown car door opened,
smoke poured out,
billowing and puffing,
very strange smelling smoke of all different colors,
and i began to wonder if it wasn't me who was tripping ball's,
as 1..
no 2..
no 12
huge bug eyed clowns crawled out.
Gawking and hissing and juggling crack pipes.
The first one asked my name.
I lied of course.
You never trust a cracked out clown,
not even with your name.
The second one asked me my age.
I lied of course,
because it's a well known fact crack clowns are pedophiles
and he might have tried to have his way with me
if I told him the truth about my tender young age.
The third asked me for a cigarette.
I gave it to him of course,
out of sheer terror that if I didn't
he might use his circus tricks
to pull a colorful rag out of his ***
and choke me to death with it
and I didn't want that.
The rest of them just kind of stared at me
or screamed
or sniffed my clothing and inspected me.
After a few minutes of all of this
I decided I'd had enough.
Talking with clowns is bad karma anyways,
and I started to walk away
waving politely
but no they weren't done with me yet.
They hog tide me
and covered me in clown make up
and adopted me as there new pet monkey
/clown driver
/lion tamer.
But of course,
when the police found me naked in a trash can at three in the morning a few hours later
still unable to complete whole sentences
they wouldn't believe ( or couldn't understand) a word of it
but I'll tell you,
if you ever see a smoke filled colorful clown car
just walk away.
We know the truth
its ugly, and juggles crack pipes.
This one is from a long time ago. I think i originally wrote it as a text message in middle school.
 Dec 2012 John
Moonlight Blossom
We try to live day by day like nothing is wrong.
We have our arguments when our lives crumble or fall.
We cry all the time behind closed doors.
We cherish the love that binds us when the lights go off
We dream our secrets and live our nightmares
But no matter where we are or how we feel there is no place like home.
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