Hi this is Helen. I can’t get to the phone right now
because, well, I think I’ve finally found sleep!
So leave me your name, your message is important to me.
Just wait for the beep

…………

Hi, it’s Darcy…. Ummm I’m sorry I had to cut and run
but, you see, I’m nearly 16 and well Mum…
I’ve got to go there is a big bad world out there
to explore. Mum, I love you more

…………

Hi, baby girl, it’s your Daddy and I’m really sorry
that I have to tell you over the phone that I’m
not going to be here in six months, you know,
the cancer, well it’s grown but that’s enough
about me. What beautiful sights in the world today
did you see? I love you

…………

Hi Helen, I’m sorry I missed your birthday yesterday
And being your best friend and all I should have been
there, but well, you see, there’s this guy and he’s
super special and if I’m not around him I know I’ll
just die, what do you think of me with him, what
should I do?…. Oh, Happy Birthday, I love you

…………

Helen, this is God and I’m umm, really sorry I
haven’t been around much to make you smile
I haven’t been ignoring you but admit it… You
haven’t talked to me in a while… What I’m trying
to say is that if you just give in and take the bitter
pill I’m trying to make you swallow then we could
maybe start again. Hey! I’ll just ring you tomorrow

…………

Talk to the face!

Erase

Call me the Queen of Hypothesis
I thought it was a good idea

leaving this.

I want to take a razor to the hair I grew
(long enough to enchant you)
but I won't.
I want to spend all I've got
on nothing at all.
A painted, empty fool who is poverty stricken in riches-
filet mignon, a flight to Spain, fancy finery-
but I won't.

Instead I'll cry in the kitchen.
Cry in the bedroom.
Cry at flowers.
Cry at nothing.

But I won't cut off my hair.

I want to give up.
I want to run away.
Leave town, leave society, leave myself.
But I won't.

Instead I'll hurt.
Hurt in the day.
Hurt in the night.

But I won't give up.

This mouth, it does me wrong.
This mouth says goodbye,
when it only wants to be
on your fingertips
on your neck
on your back
anywhere

just not saying goodbye.

These eyes, they do me wrong.
These eyes have seen the truth of things,
when they only want to
watch you laugh
watch you dress in the morning
watch your body moving on mine-
Just watch you.
And blind themselves against the path we have chosen.

I want to take it back.

But...

I won't.

Instead I'll love you.
And love you.
And love you,
love you,

                           I love you

until I can love me
just as much.

So call us the King and Queen of Hypothesis, darling.
Look at our glass crowns,
how clearly you can see my heart inside,

saving for something more precious

than all the kingdom's gold.

will I put lipstick on you  
when you lay still and silent
as the last morning
  
or will you pull the sheet
over my face gently  
with a surprised sense of relief  
when my final breath
marries the gray air
  
will it be in the room
where we slept
under the watchful eye
of children and grandchildren
their timeless images nailed to the walls  
ever present but mute
while they navigated worlds  
with horizons we would never see

or would it be in the
hallowed house of hospice
where palliative words like
“we will miss you”
“not long now,”
“you can go, it’s OK,”
float above the beds  
like birds stalled in flight  
riding unseen currents, but
soon to swoop down
to perch on mystic memories,
briefly,
before flying into
the karmic night

I light the gas
put on the kettle
You like tea, don't you?
I'm a coffe person actually
But you like tea
and I'm hopelessly lost
I'm grabbing things
from the refrigerator
left right and centre
What do you eat for breakfast?
I'm inhaling memories
drinking sensation
dining on your touch
not remembering much
Your form of sensual chloroform
is sensational
The kettles boiled
the cups are still empty
your touch on my lower back
is heavenly
I'm not sure
I'm where I need to be
the kitchen you say?
*Shall we?