Is it possible that we are all visions on the screen where we're seeing ourselves, are we ghosts in the cameras that catch us, are we books that are up on a shelf,
when the coders get tired do they switch off and then switch on again just for fun, are we repeating lines in this poetic time
or glitches within the rewind?

I wonder if it is me that's wondering or a floating point ready to sink.

are we X =10 =zero
are we Ahab in search of the whale
are we Jonah who's already been there
and if it's all true then why should we care.

Reading adverts for Christmas Markets in Poland, thinking I might go and join in the fun, I'm also a little bit wary of aeroplanes I think they're a tad too scary and there's no option to travel by road or sea, there is only the aeroplane, think I might be a stay at Johnny this Christmas, do my shopping at Tesco Express, try that buy two get one free thing which is like get more and pay even less.

But we all know that Christmas takes longer than forever or we did do when we were all young, so *** it I'll stop reading adverts and go out and sit in the sun.

If it's only a finite equation
between you and the current situation,
what the fuckya worried for?

i have settled for less
and escaped to be more
so
whattya **** ya worried for?

there's a world out there and it's waiting
for you and you're hesitating
do you wanna be
like I used to be
fukin useless?

only asking.

If you're waiting for the sun
Could you move on
and make some room?

Soon it'll be Autumn and before you know it
the snow will hit
Christmas and Santa for a bit
then the new year
which basically is the old year
with a new number.

Spring but maybe not in your step,
the daffodils will make you forget
and if they don't
there's always Captain Morgan.

Every day
something to
rise up above and
muddle through.

Holding on to things
that burn you,
burn you
get rid of them.

dried up and shrivelled
scoring eight and of late
I've been wavering and
not putting the work in
on myself and there's only
myself to blame, thinking
that if the sun ever shone
it's long gone,

but letting go
is the way to go

there should be
more signposts.

I was doing that promenade thing
watching the waves hit the shore to make the shingle sing
and life became a musical which I was starring in.

But I usually as I have always done
wake up just before the sun
see the dream as it drifts away
and rise into another day.

Hey, listen in
they haven't got a clue who you are
you could be
the Shah of Iran
a Prince of Persia
but
they're fooling ya

eyes in the sky are blind
they don't have eagle vision
and if you believe that they do
you've been watching too much
television.

they work on the premise
that you must be guilty
and filter out
the ones that they don't
want to see.

I'm only here to remind you
that they will try to blindside you,

keep your eyes wide open

Not first or second and I don't believe third but it's Sunday and Sunday's the word,
so we all will win, he says,  with a Cheshire Cat grin,
but there was a time when we had to earn our place,
which is a bit like the cat, long gone

and hardly anyone remembers him or his grin.

I phoned the
NHS
helpline
today

one of the questions they asked was
'are you home alone?'
and
apparently,
'yes, but I'm married'
wasn't the right answer.

No one can carry the weight of the World
upon their shoulders

Atlas.

hold my beer.

What if we don't come back
and what's what is that.
finished,
lights diminished?

hurdles to jump
while the heart still pumps
and the stomach is still filled
with butterflies.

Every time in every rhyme,
She,
keeps me going.

4 hours later they turn up
which is a turn up for the books,
when dear daughter and Co read this
they'll be giving me ***** looks

which might turn up sooner
than they did.

Still
one cannot complain
unless you're grumpy
like me
and another thing
they'll be getting
no ****** tea.

Nice to see them though
even if their watches do run slow.

I could have gone fishin'

We haven't just gone off-script
we ripped it all up
and set fire to it

and so we start
not at the very beginning
otherwise, that would be a song
and wrong on so many levels.

Later when the words settle down
and the stars light up the sky
when the fireflies start to dance
only then
we might wonder why
everything has to be difficult
everything has to be hard
when
it all could be so easy

says he
who made easy his gaol

it would have been his goal
but he couldn't spell.

What if we had already got there and didn't know
but just kept on going and asking, are we there yet?

you get old and you get set in your ways
I'm about as set as a strawberry blancmange
still wondering if I've got there yet.

We must have
forgotten
someone
anyone
no one?

well then we'll go on
thinking that
we've forgotten
something
anything
nothing?

and the clock does a handstand
at half past six
I stumble to the table
and have two Weetabix
it's usually three,
but me
I'm forgetful
and forgot to buy more,

at seven twenty four
I close the front door
on my way out
wondering what next.

Even at this time
as dawn is breaking
I am crumbling
back into dust
and
I know that this has been done before
falling and picking myself up off the floor,

it's only
a state of the country I live in
this body that fails and yet still keeps on giving,

I'm sweating
perhaps
it's the fear of not getting
or the shame of having
while others have not.

It must have been someone I knew
or someone who knew me,
but now I don't have a clue who it was
and neither does he.

I know you, becomes, knew you
and you look at the clock
wondering what?

I wondered where this was going
but jumped off before the end.

They tell you that life is liveable
but the air is barely breathable
I don't think that I'm being unreasonable
to want things to be a little better.

Can't swim in the sea for the sewage
this must be what they call the new age,
the green field sites are being built on
and soon
there'll be no flamin' trees left to swing on.

Childhood's no good for the children
they have to grow up so quickly to
get a foot on
and the ladders are all made in China.

Shot by an assassin
who was then shot by a ******
and here I shall wipe a
tear from my eye.

My chakras are shagged
I should be body-bagged
but
it'll get better and I'll get better,
I better or there's a letter going
to the Times.

When you're peeping through your fingers and afraid of what might linger as the night goes through the storm drains and the morning wakes you up from one more dream that you mistook for real life down in the subways where the distant sounds of coughing and the smell of cheap tobacco carries across the breeze that's blowing through the window you left open but you know that you can cope with what the daylight has to offer so you rise and make a coffee, a slice of toast and then you're out and as the day goes on forgetting that it woke you from a nightmare and the heart within you beats and feels like horses in a fairground
you see the ghost train in the corner with a man stood on the platform throwing ***** to knock down tin cans on a shelf that's far too narrow, the butler sees it all and if you drop a coin into him he will show you all the things you've never known.

In the Autumn when Summer
is one more memory
what will become of me?

not yet the melody of a harp,
not while my heart still beats,

but the seasons turn like the tide
and we, the wide oceans
must return to
the shore.

It was a choice
between
Bombay mix
and
Mumbai mix
and
we know which one
they went for.

poking the bear here,
but
Mumbai's for the fun guys
and Bombay's for the good days
when you have to take your pick.

think I need an Elixir
a fixer
but not a
***** with a mixer
far too early for that.

Stay connected they told the young me, but later the older me suspected the reasoning behind this was that they wanted control,
so the old me disconnected from what I saw and let them see a new me and they didn't like that.

Outside their loop, it was more difficult but not impossible, I just needed a new frame of reference or to connect off-grid to an off grid connection.

we get to where we should be when the time is right which is a truth we cannot fight.

I'm tuned in now
and on the right frequency
where static doesn't bother me
and
She turns the dial.

Somebody pressed start and now it's ******* it down,

somebody shouts
turn that frown upside down
and that somebody can go and
do one.

distressed
like I'm a piece of old furniture
waiting for a makeover.

My secret weapon gets me
locked and loaded.

so
they call for an ambulance
to give the man a fighting chance
and I'm eyeing up the *****.

Jingle
Jingle
to the bar,
but the money
in your pocket
won't go far
or maybe
they only
take credit cards.

Are we lost in the burrows that we borrowed from the hollows of our cheeks and if we are, are there echoes of the past?

Dig for gold
dig 'til you're old
you'll still be holding the *****.

If we're all lost then lost must be a place,
familiar but fleeting
and if we're found wanting we'll
join the long queue at the food bank.

Page 42 should give me a clue
but I used that to roll my last cigarette.

I was sat on the fence or
was I sat on the fence?
doubting my senses
dropping all pretence now
feet on the ground now
and
people mill around me,
harks back here to
the cotton reels inside me

and all that industry
still moves beside me,
trudging feet and the smell
of stale tobacco
women with headscarves
going to the thrift stores
sores and chilblains
who are we to blame now?

not the fukin overseers
because we all know that they're saints,

back at home and a bath by the hearthside
cotton reels still spinning deep down inside me
what would I be now if not for all the industry?

I'd be free.

A million years ago or yesterday whichever one came first was when I burst the bubble blown and threw out the things I'd always known and took my giant leap which may have been a stumble but either way, leap or stumble, I moved away and watched my history crumble,

a good move,
nay
a great move.

and I was moved to write
to drop the words down from the night that never was except for in the darkest of my days

and sometimes I tumble into bed, not so drunk that I can't hear the quiet voices in my head and sometimes I just watch the ceiling feeling kind of happy and kind of happy is a sort of happy that comes with no catches.

She matches my mood
I cook for her some food
and we sit to say grace,

sometimes her face is all that I see
even in the mirror that should reflect me
it is her and always will be.

and what would you prefer
here or over there on their side
of the divide?

The gap widens
Biden's still here though
so is Trump
and where I come from they say
'ecky thump'
oh
goodie.

I can't remember who's at number 10
they change Prime Ministers more often than
I change my underwear
but at least my ****** are constantly clean
washed in the Hotpoint washing machine,

things still look like we are living the dream,
as we beg off the strangers who pass by.

Well,
I worked my fingers to the bone
came home and relaxed
the fact is
I am jiggered and work triggers
my gag reflex,

the old fashioned is freshly made,
the chaise is where I'm laid and
I won't be rising anytime soon.

Not even Friday yet but I'm set for it
and ready to get to it.

The young ones are staying for a few days
so I can't really laze like I usually do
must get up and do
or at least pretend to do.

I'm older and somehow
being here and now
is somewhat tiring.

I can't believe it's not time to go home
said me every time I go to work.

Time is a 'field of dreams'
if we filled it, it will come.

There's only so much a man can do
before his wife says,
Here, I'm going to show you how.

Chicken drumsticks
hot and spicy
washed down nicely
with an ice cold beer.

A fly is walking on the window pane
it's probably the same fly that walked up from the sill
I will
watch it for a while,
oh
and it's on the outside of the window
so
it doesn't worry me.

I can walk too
but not up the window pane
and I can't fly,
sigh.

If life is a series and I am on episode nine,
how much time is there left
before I have to find something else to watch.

They flocked yesterday and then swooped as if food was the answer to what ailed them and if it was food
then the system has failed them,

this is *****
not Bethlehem
and the son of man
is seldom welcome
unless he comes bearing
burgers and chips.

They that would be might pray today
or go down the pub and get ******

I have to go to work and
lay these ghosts to rest.

A bit previous
as Arthur,
would have said
if he were still alive
and not as he is,
dead.

but that was Arthur,
always half into something
shady.

Today
I have to work
from
midday until it's dark,
but
I'd sooner take a Steinbeck,
and sit out at the park.

..then the lights came on and it was all over which was peculiar in that the lights usually go out when it's all over, but this was a film I watched at the Odeon Cinema, the one with the Wurlitzer that rose up from out of the floor, can't remember which Odeon it was nor what the film was about, I only remember the lights coming on at the end and thinking that it was strange, now I think that thinking that was strange,

maddening how memories come at you in a random order, some to encourage you, some to attack you, some to caress you and others to slap you.

But it's Friday so it doesn't matter.

..and in another town,
the rain still pelting down
and I think
how I used to pelt down the road
fast and slim
now
I amble
the rain still pelts

life can be unfair
a bit like the weather.

Thought I was watching the screen but it was just my socks going around in the washing machine and here's me thinking it was an English football game.

good for me
that I remembered.

Anyway a special day
deserves a special wish
and
I wish for many more.

They asked me when was the last time I ate
I said, I don't remember but not of late
and they fed me
then I remembered the corn that waved to me
from the fields by the meadow
and I wasssssssss that long time ago.

That's what you call a brush-off,
given the ***'s rush and told to
push off,

it all evaporates
creating steam
and it's easy to feel
like it was all a dream.

But you have to get over it
or you'll go under
and end up blowing bubbles.

I hardly sleep,
not since Bo-Peep
lost her flock of sheep
I mean
how the hell did she do that?
a
flock of seagulls
I understand could get out of hand
but sheep?
seriously?

Occasionally I am focused
but there are distractions
you
are one of them.

I wanted to go but you know
how things are,

I have
got to keep working to pay off the car
keep some clothes on my back,
the alternative being
naked and walking
people talking about me
and
looking and seeing
and me being
me being
me.

There are more hurricanes than they can make names for so they make names up which is what they always did but they hid that from us,

who are we then?
we are the fallen upon hard times men
the men who don't know when to quit men
the men who shovel **** men

I wonder
but then I see the names they gave us men

when did we surrender?

I have met and made uncomfortable
the most unusual kind of people,
it's a knack and I cannot deny it.

When I used to be
before I am
it was easy going,
but now
it's tough
and so am I
I have to be
just to get by,

I still meet and make
them that think it's a mistake

*** 'em.

It's a Tom, not ****, but Larry,
not Harry and Larry's the cat
that got rid of that at Number 10,

let's see what he makes of the next tenant.

When you bite the bullet
find it's made of chocolate
and realise
nothing is as bad as it seems.