And it's done with for another day
the way it usually is
without a backward glance.

I'll be back
because I usually am
because that's what a working man
does,
he returns to the scene
time after time
and overtime
is never paid.

Yes, I, too, used to have a Friday Face
and it was always in a happy place
on my face as you would expect.

but it fell
as I fell from grace
no longer a Friday Face
just a face
in the crowd
not even allowed to smile.

To grin?
no
already been
seen too much grinning
sinning
winning
*** all,

the fall
the fell
tensing as well,

I'm getting a Pug
a plug ugly Pug
if only to make me look
more attractive.

Wow
what a night,
less sleep than a sleeping policeman
tossing and turning may be good for burning off the fat and the good Lord knows I got some of that but for resting?
last night was testing me.

dripping?
hardly got any kip in and someone's flamin' car alarm went off and on and one night I might get a decent sleep.

and now
because now always comes before then
I will take up my pen and poke my eyes out

haha not really
but surely
I have earned the right to sleep at night,

She sleeps on
unaware that the once youthful John
is getting older.

I'll keep that secret to myself.

It's just me seeing me when I look at we in the mirror, so no we, only me, but there's still two of who me is or who I am and we are joined at the point of reflection.

I chisel away a fractal a day,
thinking it will keep the Doctor away
but those Billy goats in white coats
takes notes and everything I say is
recorded.

Going Mad?

I don't believe I am
or ever having been,
the main reason being
I couldn't afford the fare.

Friday
soon,
She tells me to
go to sleep,
so
no supper then.

What about help the aged?
tell me, Facebook,
where have my memories gone?

oh
they're free and they always will be
but we have left out one, maybe two,
because we are the wizards at Facebook
and that is what we can do.

***** rotten and I've forgotten the rest of that curse
but whatever it is,
Facebook, you are worse.

you give me ten memories from twelve years
and now I'm in tears

jeeez.
I can remember ten on my own

You can get a lot of not got
even when you don't have it.

I've not got a lot of not got
but I'm going to get it.

Flamin' seagull pulled a fast one
stole a chip, and it was my last one.

that's it.

What a bunch of
C's
to think like they do
and to do as they please

Never before
have I wanted so much
to leave by the door

and now it's on
eight more days
and I'll be gone
thank
**** for that.

Everything will be on the agenda
if and when you lend a
hand,

very few can get through
without assistance

what,
do you really think that the camel got through the eye of a needle without a kick up the backside?

ok
we'll let that question slide, as you too will slide without someone beside you to guide you through the labyrinth of your days.

And if you're set in your ways, as some are set in concrete
( well they were back in the gangster days )
that's how you'll meet your maker.

#alone and frightened

never happened?
perhaps it's all a dream.

If you're still fighting the fight
you're still getting
it right.

Never give in.

Written on a cocktail napkin in a West End bar,
'how are things looking so far?'

better by the minute and I called for a second round
and then Mike Tyson knocked me out

and it's not anywhere near Boxing Day.

Poised with pen in hand again
and stabbing at the page,
I think and if I am because
therefore doesn't get a look
in at my door.

Still poised
like a heron on a diet.

Daybreak.
I watch the miraculous, which is
an everyday occurrence
but miraculous it is,

brainstorms
wreak havoc
I seek sanctuary from the winds of change
while the beggar asks, 'any change'

guessing, one man's meat
is another man's poise
and he goes on because of the loop
eyebrows droop
regroup
reform?
hmm maybe,

but the salt on a fried fish
tells me only
that the fish had happier times.

..and our Bonanza
a cannabis-fueled cloud,
let us call it
the new age
miasma

brain dead read into the DNA
and
everyone's out to lunch.

The Greenwich pips slip away
and the day trips off
somewhat daintily
as the night slips in
rudely.

***
or Fuchs that I don't give
because I don't live in
Germany.

I blame it all on Radetsky
but only because Mozart
wouldn't see me
and **** him as well.

I was the best at I could have been
and even better if you'd seen me
now
relegated to history
but
I was the best at I could have been.

Although we look thin
this is not
and never will be
'The Last Exit To Brooklyn'

now
that was a read
put ideas in your eyes and ears,
censored, not censored, but it
could have been.

Seen lots since then
'The Road to Babi Yar
read
Of Mice and Men
and
The Great Gatsby
but it always puzzles me

and I ask why
and what?

arresting
imprisoning
releasing

repeat cycle and rinse
convince yourself
everything will be
as everything should be,
then
lock yourself in
sit on it
and spin.

You reached for the stars
and now
there's a restraining order
against you.

Moral.
Don't touch what you can't absorb

Aha,
they mention the 'general situation'
nothing about another ****** war
just the weather forecast
on BBC Radio 4

If we are not the currency
then we're the shrapnel
a bit late, but
well worth considering.

Legs bent
back bowed
too many secrets
kept and stowed.

Old is the new Sixteen Fifty
and it's
death for adultery?

well
no fukin' chance of that
She'd **** me.

Cromwell on his rampage
The Civil War is in full swing,
the interregnum was going on
and we didn't know a thing,

because it's burn the witches
and war with the Scots
the New Model Army
called all the shots.

I fill the void
with my Samsung Android
pictures on the move,

and aren't we all just
pixels in the groove.

Deadlines
lifelines
your time's coming.

You can't make this **** up
unless you make it up.

I
Take five?
and wonder if I'm a part of
the Brubeck Quartet.

Don't know where the night went
but went it friggin' did
and here am I
one eye open
hoping
that I'm still dreaming.

*******
I'm sweating as well
it's as hot as Hades
and
only half past five.

and cold showers do not suit old men
there's nothing left to shrivel up

I'm throwing in a woe or two
or three to make it thrice
getting out the deodorant
and
splashing on 'Old Spice'

So
this is me
at five thirty three
how's your day going?

Unexpected item
improvised explosive device

well that's not ******' nice, is it Cheryl?
put our boys in peril
at risk of their lives
and what about their wives?
oh
they'd be screaming mad.

Well, and not the wishing one
the wars go on
there's profit in them for the grey men
the men we don't see
the men that could be you and me
but they're not
because we ain't got that kind of ****
going on in our heads.

A quick reset
get
the tracks laid
pay off any debt
get more tracks laid

go loco
or build a loco'

Get steam up
pull away
and steam off.

I watched the 'Flying Scotsman'
back in sixty eight
pulling the mail train
and it never seemed to be late,
but the postman always was.

There is no weekend
when you're down to work again
them ******* have no shame and
think the weekend's one big game.

The stoker keeps on stoking
probably thinks he's woke in
some Utopian ideal.

Went to sleep hot
woke up hotter
probably got a spot o'
heatstroke.

Baking is not taking no
for an answer

they said it'd be cooler
but it's just
them fukers trying to fool ya.

So
it'll be a glass of cold water then?

Kitchen temperature
roasting
mercury rising
quicker than the Yorkshire pud'

not good enough.

The radio presenter asks:
how are you dealing with the heat?

I'd say
if you're not beat
not a dead beat
don't have swollen feet
you're doing ok.

Where the hell did that go?
yesterday,
work went so slow
but the night whizzed past so fast
I only had time for fifteen winks
and I need at least forty,

The universe is shafting me
don't laugh because after me
it'll be
shafting you too.

Well,
I've ploughed the fields and scattered
and now I'm flippin' shattered
it is I that should be fed and watered
not the good seed on the ground,

nothing worse than a bible verse
when you want a pint of beer
and when the barman shouts,
The Salvation Army's here
you want another pint of beer.

If there is a Green Hill Far Away
why put up a City Wall?

but City Hall with their backhanders
sell off sites to all newcomers

Land
green or brown
they'll build a town
and
call it Bethlehem or Babylon,
Croydon or New Addington

Still Biblical
call me
John The Cynical
and
throw me from the pinnacle
of my hopes and all desires,

I will become the Martyr
more famous than
Paul Sartre
or end in an asylum
locked and padded
Number Five.

They haven't quite got the message
because management is still stuck in
the stone age,

we are not only not on the same page
we're in different ******* libraries,

they take their liberties
I take my leave

adieu.

My emolument has been spent
wasted on niknaks or lost
playing blackjack,
lent 'til tomorrow by those who
would borrow my dreams,

and now
I must work again for the man
and plan what to do
plan how to get through the Month.

I would have been interested
had it been interesting
but it wasn't
and I wasn't

Daybreak is always something flat.

Not that it worries me
it'll be what it wants to be
and obviously
it wants to be flat.

but that's just my opinion.

She says that I'm a sourpuss and
there is no light behind my eyes
but
I surprise her by shining anyway.

Ok
passing by the gloom
into the bathroom
splash a bit of cold over
this face that's too old
and
facing the day that
faces my way
I go on.

Summer is here and
She says
I've got nothing to wear

I suggest going bare
She growls

not that kind of bear
I add.

Flashbacks.


I walked into her breakdown and all broken up she said,
"You've got to help me stamp out all the demons in my head"
I couldn't help myself, and so I knew my use to her was similar to a drowning man grasping at thin air.

She screamed and then went silent as I opened up my eyes.
I waded through her temperament and shovelled up her sighs.
I watched as she exploded into frothy, foaming seas, and then I knew that I could do just exactly as I pleased.

The night fell out from its sunken lie
The seas ran red with ruby wine and then they all ran dry
I swear I saw Emmanuel breakdancing in the sky.
But all I heard was the howling wind and her pleading, plaintive cry.

The day tripped up as we all tripped on
The morning came and then was gone
We never knew when or just how long
We'd have to wait for the evensong.

So when we packed the cases and we sped out in the rain
The falling sun crashed down to earth, causing us some pain
We had to lay in the sandy bay, prisoners on the Spanish Main
But that's the way we did it, and we'd do it all again.

I wrote to myself
a note to myself
but forgot where
I put it.

Monday done gone
and now
on to Tuesday.

it never stops
wailing sirens
the cops
a doughnut
but
I don't listen
anymore

got used to it
like I once got used
to the crash of waves on the shore
it's just background
and
if you really hear it
you can hear silence
in the sound.

I am ready
She says
steady on John
and
I wonder
where the time has
gone.

If that wasn't a goose then it was certainly geese
and sheesh
flew underneath the window sill,
they're likely to **** someone
with that attitude or altitude
and the dude next door said,
geese are what dinners are for.

I'm going to make my wish
upon a chicken's bone
which is not the funny bone,
well
not for the chicken.

I was
thinking of doing a Marathon
but
they changed the flamin' name
will do a Mars Bar instead.

no snickers.

They deliver to us
breakfast burgers on bikes
but take their meals with
fresh tax hikes
to fund a war
that
no ones for
but it's
peace and desist
that's getting everyone ******
wondering why the hell
are people dying.

On every page
there's a new pill to pop
big Pharma's
got
the upper hand
and
why the hell are we
still trying.

buy one
get one
move on
while they're starving.

Enlightenment
is just another stent
to keep the heart
pumping.

This industry
don't mean **** to me.

Work and you'll be rewarded
by being shafted.

Mental hospitality?
serving those above you
those who say
we love the work you do
lying *******

they use
discard
re-use
abuse
expect
reject
but when you've had enough
of their **** and stuff
time to call it a day
time to say adios
and get on your way.

no regrets
no void
no need to feel annoyed
it's just another learning
somewhere else I put my time in.

..and now to sit on the riverbank
watch the world
say hi
to people who may or may not pass by
feed the ducks
give no more *****
read the daily news,
that book by Zola
J'Accuse

muse on.

The evening light leads only to the morning when it's nice and rightly so, another day to go on my way, crisp, not even snow and if you know, you know.

Time for more?
She says,
there always will be,

notes float on the afternoon
the tune
familiar
can't quite place it though
so I let the wondering go
and wander off
into a distance
only I can see.

'turned out nice again'
a catchphrase back in the days when catchphrases made you laugh.

George Formby
he with the ukelele
or to be more accurate
the banjolele
was a daily tonic
and much better for you
than going back to the quack
to pay your five shillings
for some useless pills.

I'm guessing he's still leaning on a lamppost
somewhere
outside a Chinese Laundry
chatting with Mr Wu.

Slippers, a pair of socks, and a fukin KitKat for gawds sake.

Happy Father's Day to me.
haha

Hoping you have better luck when out shoplifting.

Note: This is not an invitation to break the law; we leave that up to the politicians.

Sunday flies in on a broomstick
ready to pick a fight
and I'm in the thick of it
getting pig sick of it
what the hell happened
last night?

There's mail for the present incumbent
known to be rather a dumb gent
he just sent for security
and they aim to get rid of me

they'll probably hit my ear

hah.

Hey you,
Yeah you,
corkscrew,

you don't need missiles
to go ballistic.

I think those boys just like the noise
when things go bang.

It's the Devil and his designs
a sign of the times
and of things to come
and Kingdom Come has been and gone to a planet far away and seen it all before anyway,

on our ownsome
like dogs with a bone
and some
with a glacial stare

we wanted a peace pipe
they sent us a standpipe

it's the Devil and his designs
turns a war into rhymes
and sets fire to the night.

I might not sleep
but I think that I'll live.

There's a lot to be said
about
not saying a lot.

Oxymoron
washes whiter
makes loose tongues
a little tighter.

Keeping your own counsel
is far better than keeping
that lazy lot in the  local
council.

Can't smash a burger
or an egg
because
that's considered violent
behaviour,
so now
we must stroke the yolk
and pat the burger

and is hair conditioner
only conditioning your hair
or is your mind at risk?

Jeezus
very soon
we won't be able to ****
without first
sending out a weather warning
and then
they'll tax us for adding to
global warming.

We are done for
but the lunatics will
always run for
Prime Minister or
President

I guess it's meant to be.

Bed at ten
woke at two
wondering who
was tapping on the window
luckily for them
it was only the rain
again,

welcome to the Summer.

Feeling a bit ropey
some may say *****
but no
definitely ropey
and
I didn't even have a drink
unless H2O counts

She says,
it does,
look at your bank balance
at the end of the month
Thames Water takes a healthy chunk.

At times, it could be cheaper to get
drunk,

the tap
is but another trap from which there is
no escape.

Not being negative and only being positive
I crackle with electricity,

Saturday may drain me
working
oh poor me
but surely
tomorrow
I'll be off?

not a chance.

Ten hour shifts
not for the faint-hearted
and definitely not for me,
but She says,
baby
faint heart never won fair lady,
so
I win, I think,

One-nil to me.

She puzzles over this
I blow her a kiss
and slip back into the
dream.

breaking your neck to see
what's behind you
knowing that they'll find you
wherever you hide.

but you've got thick skin
don't let them grind you down
don't let the ******* win.

if we're already sunk
there's no more damage
can be done
by going out
and getting ****-faced drunk.

The morning
seltzer dissolving
and the bubbles
echoing
in the chambers of your heart
when your head is a canyon
long since abandoned

there is no more gold
to be found.

I asked
are we finished yet
and was told by myself,
you've not even started yet.

*** this for a lark
which, by the way
is still asleep.

and it's not chocolates, Forrest,
life is a box of tiredness
where you're so sleepy
you put your socks
on the wrong feet.

I thought it was a plus sign
but it's a cross,
something else to hang around
my neck and weigh me down,

the sky
rock salmon pink
I think,
pretty.

always the to and fro
to stay or to go,
I think
that's the real question
William.

Cream in my coffee
because the
milk went sour
which we all do
at times.

I could be writing
something about second sight in
the third person,

but I'm eating crisps and drinking
Guinness
and Guinness they tell me or they used to
is good for you

and not only but also
it's Nigerian Guinness.

But I could be writing and
not getting tight in
this fine Summer evening.

*** it
I'll have one more
and that may be better
for me.