You always know what you think you want until you get what you wished for,
oh!
different fukin story then
you put pen to paper and you want to scarper
but the handcuffs are on so you have to go on and you make believe it's make believe and believe me that's not friggin' easy,

you knew and you always do
a recurring theme
She,
in a *******,,
are old men still allowed to have them?

It's the voyage
the vista
the roller coaster and
the twister
it's being young in body
and in mind.

If Michael Finnigan had been clean-shaven
he wouldn't have had all that trouble with the wind.

that was random
but most things are.

Earlier
I did some studying
buddying up to clever folks
and they can be hard to find
but
I persevered and moved up the
playing field

next thing you know
I might
have a certificate to show
but don't hold your breath,
death does that for you
quite well.

here I am
thinking of a beer
and what should appear?
a cup of camomile tea
She
hands it to me with a smile on her face
She
obviously doesn't know about the case
hidden under the bed.

It's true
that when it goes beyond a joke
you'll find yourself in Bridlington
or even worse
Benidorm.

I woke only to be awake,
shaking the sleep from my eyes where I keep
the windows to my soul.

it's a
funny feeling, waking, when you don't feel wide awake,
those first steps you take, like floating, and the coating
on your tongue, the residue of too much ***.

but I get on with my ablutions
shave with a sword edged blade
wait on pins in the kitchen
until the tea is made.

Wednesday and I'm dying
not unusual, I've done it before
then
I blow her a kiss from the hallway
and let myself out of the door.

How's it going so far is as far as I can see.

Melting but felt in a good place,
the day blurred in front of me
and
shadows rose to greet me.

I finished work but not before
work had finished me,
got home to a cold beer
from She
and
that was super nice.

Tired not sleepy
sounds like the call of
waving not drowning
but
I'm down with it.

Thou Shalt Not,
and that was it
but not what?
not a whatnot
because I know what that is
but not what?
I'm not sure of.

Everything confuses
when it chooses.

Anyway
I heeded the message
and it leadeth me not
into temptation
but temptation funnily enough
is
what I got

Thou Shalt Not,
became redundant
and I already know
how that feels.

it must be Tuesday.
it was when I awakened
usually I just awake,
but today is special.

Grammarly goes apoplectic
which is
as far as I know
somewhere in Canada
or it should be.

I need more coffee,
strong and black,
a lot more caffeine
to stop me from falling
right back to sleep.

She says
are you at it again?
I have no idea
what She means.

It's catching up on me,
YES!
time is a worthy adversary.

It'll win in the end
but the race goes on
and
the clock still watches
the long shadows.

Only fear and onions can make me cry.

I could have been there
sat in a deckchair
licking an ice cream
but where was I?
I
was toiling away
and this day
wasn't meant for that.


I have to consider this carefully
work hard and be tired
or live bored and carefree.

It's another trap
I see that,

The results of the general election
may give me a sense of the direction
to take
meanwhile
my bones ache
which is of no consequence
in the grand scheme of things.

Wow
that was a hot one
and I woke in a
cold one
so
it's shower time
which is like show time
without the show
when you know your
time's up.

This is what tires me
and me from the Shires
She
says
two sugars in mine,

I put the kettle on
feeling a bit like
Polly.

Sunday and I said a prayer, and why,
because I care?
and so I'm as sure as water runs its course
that the horse I bet on will get on famously.

Finished early and I know that they know that I've gone
and I know too that work will carry on without me
probably quite splendidly,

I'm not getting worked up anymore
about getting worked up at work

I am
you are
we all can be
replaced
and
very easily.

but tomorrow I work the early shift
they think that it's hard but to me
it's a gift.

I'm going sleeping
it would have been fishing
but it's after nine of the clock.

But at least you've gotta job

yeah suppose so
but
having a job means you gotta work
even on the warmest days

yeah
but at least you've gotta job.

I talk to myself until I'm blue in the face
and Suddenly I become,
Mr Marvellous.

My thanks to Roger Hargreaves

That North, South divide is by my reckoning about two hundred years wide and is not narrowing, unlike my arteries which probably are.

Of course, my compass may be off by about a century and as dead reckoning was never my forte you'll have to forgive me the error of my ways.

I did hear tell that Yorkshire's the place to go when there's nowhere else to go but I wouldn't know because I'm a Lancashire-bred thoroughbred.

that's it
for now
but
it usually is.

and suddenly or as suddenly as it can be in the twenty first century
it was Sunday

not really fair I thought rather unfairly as we're only twenty four years into it and there's a fair ways to go,
fore,
shouts the golfer
and rather unfairly I write him off the fairway.

ridiculous?
stick around it will get worse.

The sky is a surly looking grey
and that's because
it's my day off and let's spoil
it for him

they're promising sunshine
almost as if it's a promise of
mass extinction
forceful
and we will believe it.

I'm heading to Waterloo
and
might meet up with
Napoleon
or
if I'm really lucky
I might catch a train that's
on time,

life's all about the battle
it's
either the baby or the death rattle

there's hardly enough time to enjoy
the scenery.

The bathroom mirror needs a good talking to, it started by showing me a face which said, 'good lord John, is that you, what a dreadful thing to see.
it may have been watching me take a ***.

I'd give it a smack but the **** thing would crack and that'd be seven years of bad luck for me

Anyway
I'm going to fix it for good, nail some wood over it and it won't see me again.

It'll never happen She says as she happens on by,
Why? I reply
because you're too vain
She says
and She may have point.

But
the mirror is yackety
always smiling back at me
and it still needs a slap.

The river still flows
albeit sluggishly
the sea still gives me
Mal de Mer
and I put that down to
all the plastic waste
in there.

On a lighter note
which
floats in the air
mixed up with
chem' trails everywhere
it's a lovely day
for making hay
or for baking cakes,
whatever takes your fancy.

Reflections that shimmer
along the walls,
I was slimmer back then

I used to go swimming
watched older women,
I was younger then too.

Tails off into the distance
where I see the future,
I can be anything then.

The glue that keeps your eyes shut
yes
I could do with some of that.

We see
are seen,
we will and have been and it all looks a muchness
when locked into a dream,
but the key
yes
the key is you or me or them and them could be a ten
and wouldn't that be perfect?

He rambles on and gets nowhere which is somewhere if that's where you want to be.

I have been there, had tea and been seen there and there's nothing there to write home about unless you want to moan about it.

Anyway we have to wake up to stake our claim on the day
almost as if it's a gold mine which I suppose every day is.

When you 'give a little whistle' and nothing happens.
not going to believe in Fairy Tales, Josey Wales, Vapour Trails or any ship that sails on an incoming tide.

And now I'm waking up and it's only Tuesday, should have done a Rip Van, twinkled like the star I am,

She gives me the eye that says to me without a word, 'absurd'

I think so too but don't say because that won't make it any less of a Tuesday.

They is not wired up right,
the light's on but are they at home?

no
they're out and about and up to no good
and up to no good is not good

I used to be
wired incorrectly
but now
I am not
and I is not up to no good,
because
She,
will not allow it.

One look and that's all that it took to know that I knew her long before Facebook,

she didn't remember me and that's how it will always be.

If
and it's a mighty big one

what if we are cosmic dust
and just specks in the eye of
the universe?

so what
I'm still a lot to vacuum up
he boasts
until his missus roasts him

ha
and She always does that
which
keeps me on an even keel

If you are reaching the age of majority
but not yet touching on any maturity
don't worry
you're not in the minority

we all have our crosses to bear.

It's been a long haul
but we had a ball.

Monday the same
said Friday, by name
a friend of Crusoe
you know
him
of story book fame.

I was tired
I slept
woke up wired
ha
must stop playing these games.

Moving on as we do
coffee for two
toast and jam for me
She wants honey on hers
hmm
Goldilocks springs to mind,
I find the honey

the bears are miffed.

I see no sun
and no ships.

In the olden days
this period was known as
Summer.

I'm not sure what it's called
these days
but whatever they call it
it's not working.

Blink and it rains.

Brain's fogged
veins clogged
time for
radical intervention

but wait,
ain't it Saturday
kebab and beer day?

I can't see any way
of having my cake
and eating it.

If you're waking up to this
hold the thought that the
day can only get better.

It's all a bit Daktari
crosseyed
and where the **** are we?

in the doldrums
reading the Dharma Bums

Kerouac
is he making a comeback?
did he ever go?

When i look out of the window to see what goes on down below
I wonder why I look out at all
because all that I need is inside me
She says
I beg to differ
but She
is the exception to my rule.

I am used to the used to of being
of seeing things as they truly are
She says that I am far better
than those things that I've truly been

and I'm learning to speak in a language
one that isn't my own mother tongue
and still when I look down below me
all I want to do is to run.

Those stitches that stitched up my socks and my britches,
Mum was a wizard with a darning needle, but then again she had to be what with me and five others to wash cook and care for.

Dad was a soldier and he soldiered on, kept us going if things went wrong and now they're both gone.

They all go in the end and we are left to tend to things as best we can,

they're still looking over my shoulder though.

Politicians can remember things that have yet to occur
I swear they are the cleverest of the clever

we're here and alive in our wildest dreams,
every one of us starring in someone's scenes of utter delight

woke up in a sweat?
can't remember
ask a politician
they'll give you an answer.

I looked but could not find a vaccine for
Election Fever
so
we're all going to die of boredom
with our masks on
it'll be just like being at one of those *****
held in the halls of fancy mansions.

Global warming but it looks like it's raining and it is almost the middle of June.

Galoshes and Brolly, my don't we look jolly
let's all have a splashing good time.

Friday again and again and it's almost the middle of
did I write this earlier?

Later now and
the coffee kicked in
blood pressure rising
put my teeth in
get ready to go
but
No!
no, I'm not working today
hip hip
must get a replacement hip
hurray
or
hurrah.

there's a lot of systems on the go
and one thing that I'd like to know
is where are they going to.

I wear lucky charms to keep out of harm's way and they seem to work,

I appear to be working too, if clockworkly is a word then that's how I'm doing it,

wind me up and watch me stop, made in China and sold in a second-hand shop.

Am I allowed out
or not?

They gab on about Eurovision
and then scream at the ref' for
being as blind as a bat,

that was defo a penalty
or perhaps just a free kick
or maybe
we're grasping at straws.

I won't be watching Euro 24
because
'quite frankly my dear....'
I don't give a ratz ***
for the game.

It was alright
no!
it was good in the old neighbourhood,
we knew everyone there
but here,
here on Takealook, ( free and it.... well you can guess )
no one knows anyone

Fakeabook
is a busybody nod your head and tut shop.

As far as I'm concerned which isn't that far to be fair they can take Faceachebook and dump it.

Who's moaning now?
I could have been if I'd sat up and seen some of it
but I took it easy, rested up a bit and I'm still fed up
with it.

Don't get too excited
that shower of Shinola
may be on the way out
but
they've taken everything
with them,
we've been done
ripped orf
that ***** rotten lot
have had the lot
and we ain't got
a ***
to **** in.

So it's back to
mudlarking
parking our arses in the park,
and begging for scraps
cooking the ducks
as opposed to
cooking the books,

where's a friggin yacht when
you need one?

funny thing is
we wore the masks
but it was them
that robbed us.

Old people are getting older
so I told her that I was going to get older,
but added, not just yet.

Coming up to six of the clock
I have woken and taken stock
of myself,
nothing appears to be missing.

And
it's the middle of the week,
Thursday
playing hide and seek
Friday in the wings.

Positive,
is another charge on
life's credit card,

I have a healthy balance.

A rose by any other name
beware of her thorns
She'll make you feel pain
the kind of pain that'll make you feel
that you'll never feel pain so sweet
again.

Tuesday and?
what did you expect
that rose in Spanish Harlem?

and who remembers that anymore
when you can buy them
a dollar a dozen
at the Walmart next door.

Start late and finish early,
not complaining
which makes for a nice change.

When the sun shines for more than a day
and Summer may or may not be on the way
I
shall take time out to play
truant.

more houses
more police
more nurseries
more bursaries
not sure about
more universities
but I'm guessing so

more or less of
whatever you can guess
and cheaper too,

more prisons
more schisms
more money?
nah

and it looks like a giveaway,
till they get into power
and then it's a takeaway,
am I talking Chinese?
nah

we've been here before
heard all that baloney
and more,
just get on with it.

Pitter patter
and what time you wake
doesn't matter
because you know that
it's raining,

June and Summer soon
not soon enough for me.

Sleeping late
or
just practising for the long one?

'I can't believe it's not better'
the wag at the back shouts,
it's butter,
you can't believe it's not butter
which is no better.

I'm already tired.

not everyone wants the whole
kit and caboodle
some will lead you on and only
want to kiss and canoodle,
then they'll leave you high and dry
make you sad
make you cry

because when you're fourteen
it still hurts.

It's just a crowd
not mad nor hastening
but ambling and taking in
the scenery

typically I am in a hurry
push past as I rush past,
and then I forget
where I was going,

who knows in
what order
the brain works?

There are some that need some saving
and some where the saving is done
and the ones who cry the loudest get
the Devil on the run,

I was out there shopping for bread rolls
but the evangelists reeled me in
so many souls and so few bread rolls
that be the price of my sin.

Grammarly is having a heart attack
red and blue lines everywhere
I carry on murdering the language
because in truth
what the hell do I care.

yes
heathen that I be
I work tomorrow
and Sunday shall see me
sweat

but only a little bit because
I use a deodorant
which deodorises
so
where does my sweat go?

Do I keep it inside me?
how awful.

Do you remember the way they said it was going to be?
I don't
can you refresh my memory.

oh!
that's it
yes
pile on more ******* and by the time they've dug themselves free
they'll ask
do you remember the way they said it was going to be.

Promises
no
don't believe them,
even Grammarly
reacts adversely
to the grey men.

stick with the program
become what you always were
the free men.#

Vote?
you may as well cut your own throat.

Between a rock and a resting place,
a face appears before me
carved out from the unforgiving stone
not yet a cemetery

She weeps for her son
knowing only this
that the story will go on

I'm having a cold beer
writing a postcard
wish you were here
and
at times I think they are.

I presented her with a bottle of Channel and
as you can see the manufacturers made a mistake with the spelling
,
although it cost me two shillings
I didn't begrudge the price
she was nice
nicer than the perfume
and now I do
begrudge the price I paid

Thinks.

with that cash
we could have gone to
Windermere
if I look hard I can see her
enjoying the views
until some gobshite asks her
'what perfume do you use'
and she says
cheapskate over there
didn't buy me any
to wear

and that was that

what I could have spent the cash on
and in fact did
was
Channel.

Saturday
and what's that all about?
wasn't planning on staying in
and haven't planned to go out,

I'm still thinking
Rodin shakes his head
and looks for another muse.