I love this
the reminiscing
almost but not merely
missing the past
not getting the last
of that
grape on the vine
remembering
kissing
that girl
who became
the one.

Not bright
Not dull
but the pull inbetween
that serene thing and
the sorbet and cream thing,

deck chair
no deck
only
the garden
grass being cut
and
shakefork being shook.

Old fashioned is the
'New Jerusalem'

Saw a Robin too
it saw me and
flew away.

The owl was early and I was late, it couldn't wait and screeched away into the coming of the day and I, reborn to another dawn drank coffee and looked at the moon.

In the snap of my fingers and the crack of my bones the tones from my body tell me to take care, everything will still be there however slow I become.

Time told me the truth in the rush of my youth
I have no need for the clock anymore.

Stars and there are lots of them and there are men who'd give all for them, live and then die for them.

I lost count of the countless, tried again, almost died again then lost count again.

Stars are not for the counting when a hundred million or more can fit in to an iris.

What rules there are to bend and
don't we all have a friend who'll bend them?

My imaginary friends won't invite me to the party they're throwing and so I'm throwing them out and finding new friends, tough decisions like those have to be made or where would it end?

Yeah!
around the bend
and don't we all have a friend who is already  there?

There's no mystery,
you know
that the history they feed you
is the thing that you need to
believe in,
and believing is a part of
the fantasy,

get me or not
it's a part of the plot
that we face.

Drugs that pull
drugs that lull you
into a false sense of security,
you
can be sure he'll try them
buy them and fry his brains
with them,

some men do
women too.

I'm eating roast chicken
no drugs in that
well
maybe not that I know
what they feed livestock,
or fowl
before they're in the crockpot
cooking slow.

each to their thing,
my thing's clean living
and
it's been a long time coming.

99% accurate
but
if you're the one it didn't work on
it becomes 100% inaccurate.

giving it a rating of six on the chaos scale
and six for me in anything is an automatic fail.

Happy Monday said glumly at twenty minutes to six
and six factors in quite readily when you're thinking
about next Friday.

If you can
so can I
said the weird guy,
the girl looked
shook her head
wondering
what was wrong with him

not sure what that's about
anyway
I do know
we're all about something,
what that something might be
is
up to you as it is up to me.

Sunday
did you pray for me
again?

I want now what's for offer
in the evermore
but
quite sure
I won't get it.

Looking forward to Monday?
yes me too.

They'll have a ceremony and that'll be the end of me and then they'll forget me and go about their business.

They're all the same
they put your name on the payroll
and think you'll roll over,

pull over and stop the world
I'm getting out and then they'll
have a ceremony
do you get the gist?

you'll be missed until a new employee arrives
but that lot will survive whatever happens

and whatever happens, is not my concern
I work, I earn
and when they play me out of the game
I'll still be here or somewhere else.

I tried to seal the crack of dawn,
but it didn't work
unlike me who has to work
if only to keep the algorithm alive,

being in time doesn't matter when
you're almost out of time
when the clock wants to knock you out
but you come back fighting

and the light floods in.

Those restless limbs
torn
by future talk of psalms and hymns

they crooned and sighed
then crucified

Neighbours talking over the garden gate
headscarves high
late sixties on the council estate.

I'm going shopping
said Mum
and off she'd run to
catch the bus
which came at twenty past and twenty to
the hour.
I miss her.

If you have not received a card
don't be sad
please don't take it hard
after all it's just a card

the referee's got more.

Oh Fauntelroy you annoy me take the images only you see
cast them in the bright sunlight
and me in the midnight of my dream.

you never really knew me as I, never knew my identity but your camera sees right through me, apparition that I am,

She gives me love quite freely
Oh really?
YES
quite freely
someone up there deals me
an ace of hearts

So many tears
Sears and Roebuck
were my contemporaries,
Methuselah was my secretary
so many years ago.

..and here we go again
him
bleating out more pain
it
makes me sick.

These are trying times
if you're not doing lines
or smoking some 'horse'
but of course we have
shouldered those blames
smouldered then burst
back into flames.

It's a chess game
knight take bishop
pawn checks King
and the Queen is in
the counting house
bathing in inheritance.

I try,
tried, died a few times
and not doing lines
of course that rhymes
but mostly it's true.

The platform fell through on Level fifty two and that was unexpected, the way I fell for you was unexpected too.

Changes for the better,
brush my hair
take care of my skin
look after my diet
so
why am I not thin?

Thursday tends to the business at hand as I tend to
myself.

Dreams and the reasons behind them,
with men, it's easy, sometimes graphic,
something to do with,
well,
I laugh at it.

With females
more
intuitive
they know much more than we do.

When I stop dreaming my world
becomes silent
please find me a plot
because that'll be my lot

I'm getting on with it
loving this life
a bit more.

They're tightening up their bible belts
to belch out one more lie
we should ship them off to Alcatraz
give them juice and let them fry

waddaya mean
Alcatraz has closed
and bible belts
aren't real
you say
there's no electric chair
well
Jeezus I don't think that's fair
you'll have them wearing monitors
lizards that they are
yes
giving them their freedom is just a
little step too far.

I'm complaining to the free press
which is another flamin' stretch.

You never say
but how are you
today?

I miss you,
miss, you
but
you will do
what you do

will you miss me too?

There is no refuge here
because we refuse
to have them here
oh!
it's we is it?
I never signed that contract

First contact
a young man from Addis Ababa
had a drink with him
bought him a Guinness
because I thought he was thin
but he was bright
made the stars in the night
his own

Lancaster University
'71
and look ye now
how it has grown
some have not.

I have crumbs on my T-shirt and my fingers are numb,
one has nothing to do with the other,
no!
That would be dumb

I'm ecstatically happy he said quite dramatically
tomorrow I have a whole day free,

She tells me
that there's washing to be done
that the dogs need a run
and the cats need a bath
ha
that's a laugh
we don't have cats.

She pats me on the head
and says
be a good boy or
you'll
wish you were dead.

I wish
She'd stop talking about washing the dishes
but the Genie tells me
you've had your three wishes.

Jiminy whispers into my ear
that
I'm freer than I've ever been
but when you treat her like a Queen
you become the subject.

Push,
said, chef
I'm tired  
replied Jeff
who was a demi something or other

the ****** in the kitchen
couldn't spell
but could recite Pushkin.

Bishbosh the potwash was Polish
or Presbyterian
but he never said much.

Sat down in Alice's
with Guthrie
he trusts me
don't know why,
but
it's a nice place
and Alice serves up
good food
when she's in a mood to,

Arlo was rabbitting on about
some sort of a song
which was more
like spoken word
to the sound of a guitar

and then the cop car pulled up.

Another day to ****** away
work is okay so they say
but what use to me

never mind it's only a moan
not to mention that intention
of being good and not whining
one more resolution fails.

I dine on the past as if each moment is my last
always saving a memory just in case it might not be
and in that, I will never go hungry.

how far, you ask, does a willow bend
and what makes it weep?

Monday came on the same day
so
that's another bet that I lose
but
I win when I wake
and
take a look at her face

She sleeps on.

Only the shadows change
so being naked and
using that as an excuse
is,
well it is being what it is
that makes us unique,

I prefer antique
but
I just wanted to let you know
that classic will do.

She said,
Hot,
but she was talking about the
saucepan
I, as a man misconstrued
ah
you can't choose who you are
only what you will become.

She and I first said
Hello
a dozen years ago
today.

the future
is being written.

The first day was the worst  because we never knew
and when we knew the first day was through and we got through to the second day which was in no way better than the first day, we became better at knowing how bad it became.

it goes along at a pace
and we face the future
as the future recedes,

I'm tired now
She'll say
not so
but I know
that
I am.

This is sent to test me
tomorrow is no rest day
I have to work
and work becomes my punishment
for a lifetime of enjoyment
and I'm locked into employment
until the day I die.

She says
and She says
be brave
but
I'm scared now
how will it turn out?

not last orders at the
Barley Mow
they barred me years ago.

those who've passed
look in on me
and
one of them laughs
at me,
that's ok
I miss them all anyway
even the comedians.

Living and dying
it's all very trying
but
we're all surviving
so quit with the moaning.

I remember when
the nurse said cough
I said,
ahem
your hands are cold,
but that was before I got old
when cold is a constant reminder
that the summer has gone.

Deaf to the voices
and
blind to the stares
everyone's out there
hawking their wares
could be
Shakespearian
but
more likely
Dickensian

here we go again
smallpox
cholera
diphtheria
it gets eerier,

seen it in
the London Illustrated News
so
it must be true
just like Facebook is.

She'll see what
She wants to see
I said
it's me
me
me
me
but
She'll see
what I could be
because
She sees what She
wants to see.

She took my heart
broke it apart
she said and that's
not all I'll do
I'll break your bones
turn them to glue
and then she said
what will you do

bang
bang
she took me down
bang
bang
my baby took....

you know the rest of the song,
make your own words up
I did.

Friday
and though not on a desert isle with Crusoe
with the sun beating down on me,
I could be,
but no
here I am on a carton of land being led by the hand to who knows where and I swear on the book of who gives a... shucks! is that the time?

Coffee.

I began
then I was a man
what happened to childhood?

I can't remember when
the years passed and then
I can't remember when.

I dried my tears
on the pillows of years
and as my fears cascaded
I faded away.

While they're looking for parallel worlds we can't even get it right on this one,

..'oh, go on..' said the duckling turned into a beautiful swan.

it's all songs and fairy tales
the things that we believe in.

we're taking a hiatus
so you
can hate us
even more,
but
closing the door quietly
and giving society
what they need.

Politeness will **** us
they're indifferent to deference
they'll have us swabbing decks
before they stretch our necks.

Happy?
if you say so,
I don't know
although
things
could be a lot worse.

Sleep plays hide and seek
but keeping my cool, I
found it underneath the stars
reflected in a midnight pool.

and today I wondered where I was
because I didn't know.

Night again, the same refrain,
owls that hoot at me
there's no escape however late
and that's how things will be

Oh good
I don't have a psychosis
wrong diagnosis
Doctors
are red in the face.

There is always interference
low ceilings
little clearance
but perseverance gets us through
even when we think we're through
we're not.

She tells me
to keep taking the pills and to
make the tea.
She tells me lots of things and
I usually agree.

With a name like Victor
I thought he would have been braver,

today was pretty much like working in the geriatric unit
all that moaning and coughing and begging Jesus to save him
and he's only got a touch of the 'flu
but what could I do?
well
I gave him a tissue and said bless you
about a million times,

I'm off to drown my sorrows in *****
and tomorrow's another day.

The shipping forecast
me
at half mast
sailing into port.

Behave,
it's Tuesday and
not a day I'd choose day
but beggars can't be
choosers
some are not even losers,
only lost.

I wonder what wonders of the modern age
will fill me full of rage today,
the best?
the greatest?
the latest in a long line?
seems funny to me that the greatest thing since sliced bread
is bread that isn't sliced.

Crepes and a vape, but
carrots and such are all the same shape
regulation size and win a prize for trying.

fifteen minutes of my life I'll never see again
I leave them all to you.

*** in the..
...pity it was only a dream
because I live in a small town
where nothing ever goes down
unless it's the miners
going down the pits.

Dangling over those pits of desire,
eyes like red coals and body on fire

do you think you'll ever get there to
the other side or is the chasm that you
opened just a bit too wide?

and if it is what will you do
who will you cry to?

***?
On the last day
when you put the last sea shell
to your ear
the only thing that you will hear
are the grains of sand.

Rainbows we danced on
crosses we hung from
dreams that we clung to
are all a piece of you.

and we outlived them
grew old and shelved them
and what remains
are the aches and pains
which nobody wants
but everyone gains,

it's a circus ring and we all bring
our lions and clowns
smiles and frowns
to put on a show
and then we go.

when everything stops
except for clocks that still tick.

we're being picked off like flies
and all you say is
everyone dies
but that's lies
nobody dies
it's a summer holiday
in a heavenly hideaway
that lasts longer than forever.

I've imagined nothing before
it's like
footprints filled in
by a million years wide
so
as long as
I belong as
a part of it all
and not sat alone
on the celestial wall
I'm happy.

Skip the intro?
I've ******* been the intro
and it's
not where you want to go.

Show and tell?
hell
has a handcart for you.

Relaxing
finally
because
work has in it for me,

a day off
is like a liferaft
to a drowning man.

Scratch the surface and what have you got?
a scratched surface.

Another Sunday working
this bible's getting pretty thin
I may survive this onslaught
but the chance is looking slim

She said be brave
I'll save you
from yourself if not from me.

If this is really my journey
why didn't they tell me?
were they scared of who I'd
become, where I'd run to,
who I'd tell it to?

secrets,

nothing to say to
those who have gone through
because I have been there too,
why didn't they tell me?

I have been busy but now?

work has several things going for it,
I'm not one of them.

Sat with the Captain
who offers me a glass
and who am I to say
pass?

other privateers
vie for the top spot
but good old Henry
has another tot
and
sends them to swing
on the gallows.

The spirits of when they were
walk among us, breathe our air
because no one truly goes
they're still here
in our gestures
in their clothes
it's just that sometimes
grief's so strong
and blinds us
to what we knew all along

no one truly goes.