The rain comes on in
it's Summer
and what else but rain?
later
the Sun will get a look in

I went out and got a book in
one with lots of pages
each page with lots of words on
except that first page which is blank
wonder where those words have gone.

and because it's Wimbledon
I also got a ball
I'm going to bounce it off the wall
and pretend I'm Steve McQueen.

As the night comes
and the light goes
when you feel slow
and
it takes you more time
to know what you know

when you breathe in
and it feels cold
all you ever want to do
is to hold
and to hold on
but the light has gone

and you're all on your own

does it feel like

can it ever
be the place that
you'd want to call a
home from a home

and the night's here
and you can't see  
and you don't feel
but there's no fear

there is nothing at all.

So
if you want to remember things and other things and stuff
get a memory stick and ask your Doctor where you should stick it.

Someone
offered me an olive branch
not a friggin' olive on it.

A chance encounter with a random number generator,
a bit brief thought, Trevor Howard, and felt sure it wasn't
in the script.

Yesterday
the heat was sweltering
but
I was ******' sparkling.

The giant roared
'Fe Fi Fo Fum
I smell the blood
of an Englishman'

I smell petrichor
and go merrily on my way.

my lips are dry and cracked
woke up
my body wracked with pain
and doubt,

it could be worse
I could be wrecked

it was and is a normal start
I hear the beating of my heart
I am alive
even more so
with a cup of Joe.

It's Tuesday
said Joe Friday,

wish I was at
77 Sunset Strip
but no one remembers
that place.

Last night
so hot
slept on top
of the duvet,

She says
ha
you were underneath
snuggled up like a bunny
all night,

funny how I don't remember it
that way,
but of course
She might be right.

I can feel her
in my head
what we talked of
the things She said

I can feel her in my head.

What have we got now?
tablets in the cabinet
that can cure almost everything,
for a price

headaches
backaches
(faceaches and arseaches excluded)

can't get it up?
swallow that capsule down and
you'll be on the moon in no time at all.

remedies for maladies, even more for
global conspiracies, real or imagined
and we imagine that there's lots of those,

Pills from birth until death
pills to help you catch your breath,
pills to thin the blood
pills that make you feel
pills that look so good
pills that numb you
pills that dumb you down
everything's available
in every single town.

terms and conditions apply.

I have a secret that keeps me in tip-top
but I'm not telling it to you because you'll
pass it on and before not too long everyone
and their mother will know and it won't be
a secret no more.

It's still Summer
but
everyone knows that.

Sweating and getting
sweatier,
but I'm not her
She's
only perspiring.

It's like pic'n'mix
but
Bombay style,
I wonder why
it's not called
Mumbai mix.

I'll  have a beer
without the belly, please,
the barman
a half a jar man himself,
poured me a pint.

Re-runs of a rerun
war has been done to death

seen it all on the BBC, ITV and Channel Four

and I believe that it's a manufactured industry
making more and more re-runs of a war.

And wth these
there is no let up
they just get up
and kick off
as and when,

what is really going on?

Faces blur
time is not fair
the clock is not on
our side.

As memory increases
our skill at recalling
is in our ability to negotiate
through the passages where
time never ceases.

I barely remember
but
sometimes I do,
sometimes they manage
to get through and a light
is thrown on those things I
have known

faces still blur
but I know I am there
amongst them.

However unlikely
it seems like She likes me
and
I know that I like her a lot.

Lots is difficult to define
see
if you have lots, then lots doesn't seem like lots
but if you haven't got lots, then lots is lots

and
how much of a lot do I like her?

I wish I hadn't started this.

When the axe chews into me
and I fall into obscurity
a
home for bugs to burrow into,
would you remember me
the once tall, majestic
tree
or will you forget?

Well?
hung
like poetry swinging on
a Samsung.

Pictures not included.

And it's done with for another day
the way it usually is
without a backward glance.

I'll be back
because I usually am
because that's what a working man
does,
he returns to the scene
time after time
and overtime
is never paid.

Yes, I, too, used to have a Friday Face
and it was always in a happy place
on my face as you would expect.

but it fell
as I fell from grace
no longer a Friday Face
just a face
in the crowd
not even allowed to smile.

To grin?
no
already been
seen too much grinning
sinning
winning
*** all,

the fall
the fell
tensing as well,

I'm getting a Pug
a plug ugly Pug
if only to make me look
more attractive.

Wow
what a night,
less sleep than a sleeping policeman
tossing and turning may be good for burning off the fat and the good Lord knows I got some of that but for resting?
last night was testing me.

dripping?
hardly got any kip in and someone's flamin' car alarm went off and on and one night I might get a decent sleep.

and now
because now always comes before then
I will take up my pen and poke my eyes out

haha not really
but surely
I have earned the right to sleep at night,

She sleeps on
unaware that the once youthful John
is getting older.

I'll keep that secret to myself.

It's just me seeing me when I look at we in the mirror, so no we, only me, but there's still two of who me is or who I am and we are joined at the point of reflection.

I chisel away a fractal a day,
thinking it will keep the Doctor away
but those Billy goats in white coats
takes notes and everything I say is
recorded.

Going Mad?

I don't believe I am
or ever having been,
the main reason being
I couldn't afford the fare.

Friday
soon,
She tells me to
go to sleep,
so
no supper then.

What about help the aged?
tell me, Facebook,
where have my memories gone?

oh
they're free and they always will be
but we have left out one, maybe two,
because we are the wizards at Facebook
and that is what we can do.

***** rotten and I've forgotten the rest of that curse
but whatever it is,
Facebook, you are worse.

you give me ten memories from twelve years
and now I'm in tears

jeeez.
I can remember ten on my own

You can get a lot of not got
even when you don't have it.

I've not got a lot of not got
but I'm going to get it.

Flamin' seagull pulled a fast one
stole a chip, and it was my last one.

that's it.

What a bunch of
C's
to think like they do
and to do as they please

Never before
have I wanted so much
to leave by the door

and now it's on
eight more days
and I'll be gone
thank
**** for that.

Everything will be on the agenda
if and when you lend a
hand,

very few can get through
without assistance

what,
do you really think that the camel got through the eye of a needle without a kick up the backside?

ok
we'll let that question slide, as you too will slide without someone beside you to guide you through the labyrinth of your days.

And if you're set in your ways, as some are set in concrete
( well they were back in the gangster days )
that's how you'll meet your maker.

#alone and frightened

never happened?
perhaps it's all a dream.

If you're still fighting the fight
you're still getting
it right.

Never give in.

Written on a cocktail napkin in a West End bar,
'how are things looking so far?'

better by the minute and I called for a second round
and then Mike Tyson knocked me out

and it's not anywhere near Boxing Day.

Poised with pen in hand again
and stabbing at the page,
I think and if I am because
therefore doesn't get a look
in at my door.

Still poised
like a heron on a diet.

Daybreak.
I watch the miraculous, which is
an everyday occurrence
but miraculous it is,

brainstorms
wreak havoc
I seek sanctuary from the winds of change
while the beggar asks, 'any change'

guessing, one man's meat
is another man's poise
and he goes on because of the loop
eyebrows droop
regroup
reform?
hmm maybe,

but the salt on a fried fish
tells me only
that the fish had happier times.

..and our Bonanza
a cannabis-fueled cloud,
let us call it
the new age
miasma

brain dead read into the DNA
and
everyone's out to lunch.

The Greenwich pips slip away
and the day trips off
somewhat daintily
as the night slips in
rudely.

***
or Fuchs that I don't give
because I don't live in
Germany.

I blame it all on Radetsky
but only because Mozart
wouldn't see me
and **** him as well.

I was the best at I could have been
and even better if you'd seen me
now
relegated to history
but
I was the best at I could have been.

Although we look thin
this is not
and never will be
'The Last Exit To Brooklyn'

now
that was a read
put ideas in your eyes and ears,
censored, not censored, but it
could have been.

Seen lots since then
'The Road to Babi Yar
read
Of Mice and Men
and
The Great Gatsby
but it always puzzles me

and I ask why
and what?

arresting
imprisoning
releasing

repeat cycle and rinse
convince yourself
everything will be
as everything should be,
then
lock yourself in
sit on it
and spin.

You reached for the stars
and now
there's a restraining order
against you.

Moral.
Don't touch what you can't absorb

Aha,
they mention the 'general situation'
nothing about another ****** war
just the weather forecast
on BBC Radio 4

If we are not the currency
then we're the shrapnel
a bit late, but
well worth considering.

Legs bent
back bowed
too many secrets
kept and stowed.

Old is the new Sixteen Fifty
and it's
death for adultery?

well
no fukin' chance of that
She'd **** me.

Cromwell on his rampage
The Civil War is in full swing,
the interregnum was going on
and we didn't know a thing,

because it's burn the witches
and war with the Scots
the New Model Army
called all the shots.

I fill the void
with my Samsung Android
pictures on the move,

and aren't we all just
pixels in the groove.

Deadlines
lifelines
your time's coming.

You can't make this **** up
unless you make it up.

I
Take five?
and wonder if I'm a part of
the Brubeck Quartet.

Don't know where the night went
but went it friggin' did
and here am I
one eye open
hoping
that I'm still dreaming.

*******
I'm sweating as well
it's as hot as Hades
and
only half past five.

and cold showers do not suit old men
there's nothing left to shrivel up

I'm throwing in a woe or two
or three to make it thrice
getting out the deodorant
and
splashing on 'Old Spice'

So
this is me
at five thirty three
how's your day going?

Unexpected item
improvised explosive device

well that's not ******' nice, is it Cheryl?
put our boys in peril
at risk of their lives
and what about their wives?
oh
they'd be screaming mad.

Well, and not the wishing one
the wars go on
there's profit in them for the grey men
the men we don't see
the men that could be you and me
but they're not
because we ain't got that kind of ****
going on in our heads.

A quick reset
get
the tracks laid
pay off any debt
get more tracks laid

go loco
or build a loco'

Get steam up
pull away
and steam off.

I watched the 'Flying Scotsman'
back in sixty eight
pulling the mail train
and it never seemed to be late,
but the postman always was.

There is no weekend
when you're down to work again
them ******* have no shame and
think the weekend's one big game.

The stoker keeps on stoking
probably thinks he's woke in
some Utopian ideal.

Went to sleep hot
woke up hotter
probably got a spot o'
heatstroke.

Baking is not taking no
for an answer

they said it'd be cooler
but it's just
them fukers trying to fool ya.

So
it'll be a glass of cold water then?

Kitchen temperature
roasting
mercury rising
quicker than the Yorkshire pud'

not good enough.

The radio presenter asks:
how are you dealing with the heat?

I'd say
if you're not beat
not a dead beat
don't have swollen feet
you're doing ok.

Where the hell did that go?
yesterday,
work went so slow
but the night whizzed past so fast
I only had time for fifteen winks
and I need at least forty,

The universe is shafting me
don't laugh because after me
it'll be
shafting you too.

Well,
I've ploughed the fields and scattered
and now I'm flippin' shattered
it is I that should be fed and watered
not the good seed on the ground,

nothing worse than a bible verse
when you want a pint of beer
and when the barman shouts,
The Salvation Army's here
you want another pint of beer.

If there is a Green Hill Far Away
why put up a City Wall?

but City Hall with their backhanders
sell off sites to all newcomers

Land
green or brown
they'll build a town
and
call it Bethlehem or Babylon,
Croydon or New Addington

Still Biblical
call me
John The Cynical
and
throw me from the pinnacle
of my hopes and all desires,

I will become the Martyr
more famous than
Paul Sartre
or end in an asylum
locked and padded
Number Five.

They haven't quite got the message
because management is still stuck in
the stone age,

we are not only not on the same page
we're in different ******* libraries,

they take their liberties
I take my leave

adieu.

My emolument has been spent
wasted on niknaks or lost
playing blackjack,
lent 'til tomorrow by those who
would borrow my dreams,

and now
I must work again for the man
and plan what to do
plan how to get through the Month.

I would have been interested
had it been interesting
but it wasn't
and I wasn't

Daybreak is always something flat.

Not that it worries me
it'll be what it wants to be
and obviously
it wants to be flat.

but that's just my opinion.

She says that I'm a sourpuss and
there is no light behind my eyes
but
I surprise her by shining anyway.

Ok
passing by the gloom
into the bathroom
splash a bit of cold over
this face that's too old
and
facing the day that
faces my way
I go on.

Summer is here and
She says
I've got nothing to wear

I suggest going bare
She growls

not that kind of bear
I add.

Flashbacks.


I walked into her breakdown and all broken up she said,
"You've got to help me stamp out all the demons in my head"
I couldn't help myself, and so I knew my use to her was similar to a drowning man grasping at thin air.

She screamed and then went silent as I opened up my eyes.
I waded through her temperament and shovelled up her sighs.
I watched as she exploded into frothy, foaming seas, and then I knew that I could do just exactly as I pleased.

The night fell out from its sunken lie
The seas ran red with ruby wine and then they all ran dry
I swear I saw Emmanuel breakdancing in the sky.
But all I heard was the howling wind and her pleading, plaintive cry.

The day tripped up as we all tripped on
The morning came and then was gone
We never knew when or just how long
We'd have to wait for the evensong.

So when we packed the cases and we sped out in the rain
The falling sun crashed down to earth, causing us some pain
We had to lay in the sandy bay, prisoners on the Spanish Main
But that's the way we did it, and we'd do it all again.