John Bartholomew

John Bartholomew Sep 20

Avoiding all mirrors
A calorie sinner
Dreaming every night
To wake up a little thinner

One time visit to the local gym
Membership cancelled, straight in the bin
I just to live my life in sin

Something to grab,
They're called love handles I'd brag
Now lets get upstairs for some lovin', its called a quick....

Being judged on TV by Hopkins and Feltz
As I lay in bed watching, listing to the heavy rain pelt
With clothes that just fit me, another notch on my expanding belt

But why be unhappy trying please the chosen few
Please yourself and not the judgemental crew
Were on here once my friend, so,
Let you just be you

JJB

John Bartholomew Sep 15

See you next Tuesday

A lot of people don't get an acronym
But some people are not as stupid as him
And to let me down on a daily basis is not an excuse to know the days of the week
But not to acknowledge isn't a skill I'd like seek
To be thick and I don't mean in the uneducated sense
Is not a trait I want, let's not sit on the fence
So please, get this pal,
See you next Tuesday
😉

JJB

#UNORTHODOXSPELLING
#YOUKNOWWHATIMEAN
#NOTIMEFORTIMEWASTERS

John Bartholomew Sep 14

Hope

I still wake up every morning, hoping this paraplegia has left me
Spinal paralysis a condition, with no get out fee
To walk, to run, even kick a football for fun
Are dreams I still crave, when doctors say I have none
But the brain will always desire,
for that day as I grapple and *****
As we all have our dreams in life,
and mine will always be that one thing,

Hope

JJB

John Bartholomew Sep 9

2 Gravestones

When you die, you leave behind two gravestones.
No.1. Your body and your bones.
No 2. The dreams you didn't put into practice and never did atone.
Don't be a dreamer.
Be a schemer and put those thoughts into throws.

JJB

John Bartholomew Sep 4

Unreal Events

Putting myself in situations that didn't really happen
Loving the fear
The non-fear
Too much gear
Brought down by an emotion
Crying over nothing
Sob sob
Weep weep
**** these ******* crocodile tears

John Bartholomew Sep 4

Anchorman

It's hard to find a word that rhymes with the legend that is, Ron Burgandy
As that man lives a different life,
with his own selective philosophy
Men have a bigger brain than women,
And that is fact
But if you want to fight the News Team,
then watch them **** well react
Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland and Champion "Champ" Kind,
They'll kick your *** and leave you with a sore behind
London Gentleman or Black Beards Delight
Those ladies deserve best, over which they'll probably fight
As these guys only wear the best, lets not be that chancer
It works 60% of the time, all the time, hell yeah, *** Panther
To sway these guys from the top, up steps Veronica Corningstone
Knowing how to rule the roost, and knock Ron from his thrown
Because, San Diego is a city that can only have one news team,
being proud of America's red, white and blue
And if you don't believe me, well, I will fight you...and thats no lie

Anchorman

JJB

John Bartholomew Aug 28

The Great Escape

I need a break, a place to just relax
Somewhere no-one could find,
not even on Google Maps
Where silence is normality,
a place where I could just be
Not the rush of everyday life,
Just serene and preferably free
☀️ 🌴

JJB