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John Bartholomew Jul 2024
14 years under Tories rule
Cameron to Sunak with Johnson the bumbling fool
But now ruled by the Labour lot,
with waters promised much calmer
Raynor now craps the whip,
With her puppy dog, Sir Kier Starmer
A visit to King Charlie now head of the throne
His head now adorning stamps,
Soon on cash and any bank loan
But his real reason for this trip is to prepare for the King's speech
As we now have a fruitcake in charge with more faces than most,
Gentlemen and Squires, Lords and Ladies,
I give you,
The King's Peach 🍑

JJB
#notoneofyourfiveaday
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
Sugar in the coffee ***
Serves it warm, I like it hot
Perhaps Costa or Neros and pay a higher fee
A greasy spoon the place to be
Not refined but just fine
No frothy Americanos or skinny on the milk
Tetleys all day long, washed down smooth as silk
Across the way, Comedy Store, new comics where the crowd pan you
All else fails, nip over the road, a hot slice of Ma's lasagne 
Builders sat in the corner, tea break and a laugh
All day fry-up,
the best in town,
only at,
Ma's Cafe

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
Every picture tells a story
Whether it's romance, betrayal or of nothing that quite bores me
Every picture tells its tale
If sat by a river and up comes a stranger
Just fishing in peace, never in any danger
Starts with a tale of love and onto how he betrayed her
It's not my business son, now packing up my pike lure
For listening to some random bloke in the pub, spouting off after too many Stella's
Is almost the same as chatting on the Tube, to some random fella
But nobody beats the intricate details told by one, that man my Granddad
The original, and the only,
Storyteller

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
We all have the odd car written off
But people can do the same, and mark you as a right off
Fussy down to something you said
Or a letdown in the sack on someone else's bed
A change in look or you've put on a bit of weight 
Not for me anymore, as you move onto her best mate Kate
You learn a language together, first German and then French
Sacre Bleu! Mon amie, not tonight love, you can sit on the bench
You prefer your tea when she just sups her coffee
Liverpool forever and then shes a bleeding toffee
A phonecall is more personal than some random text
Message away with no response, as she clearly didnt give two fecks
So that was that and just a waste of time
As perserverance is a key even if the alley is blind
But some wanted loves were never meant to be
As I gaze from the clifftop, just watching the swirling of the sea.

Write Off

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
Happy alone in a world of my own
Not tuning into the everyday tones
Parents in the playground always with a groan
All cars cost too much, on lease hire or by loan 
Settled and mellow in these God given bones
Just turn the noise right down on your latest iPhone
Because, and I repeat,
I'm happy, and don't want to say it again,
thats just me,
I'm happy,
Happy Alone

#pleaseleavemealone

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2024
A new Government needed
The previous begged, borrowed and pleaded
New ground moved for the unseeded
As we all pick a brand new selection
For this country needs a buzz of momentum
Our borders currently open to bedlam
Do we stick with what we've got or move into new production
Sir Kier Starmer seems to have more faces than Big Ben
Angela Raynor holds his leash as she really is Mother Hen
Or do we give him another unelected go, our PM Mr Sunak
Some already crossed the line, as none really had his back
Surely not Ed Davey and his band of Liberal Democrats
Pulling daily stunts in the water, looking a bit of a prat
Because the polls show that none of us really know how to vote
Some thinking of leaving for good, by plane, train or by boat
As the general cencus seems to be,
no Government can resurge this land,
as this great Oak wither's into a poisoned tree
But whoever does gain power, please put fuel into our fire and make it pretty quick
As we as a once great nation, are feeling tired and low,
and I hate to say it, becoming almost sick

#whichboxdoitick

JJB
John Bartholomew Jun 2024
You can write away until your hearts content
Looking at those words that you wish you had not sent
But my heart is broken not laying down dead
I will find solace and happiness is some others loving bed
A lapse in time is all you sadly were
As I tell my heart and my head and on this we can concur
Our severed love is not a chopped down tree
As I still have life and words will not **** me

JJB
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