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John Bartholomew Jul 2023
She broke my Hert in Beds
So time to get my own back onto which this spree it led
I spread my love all around the Shires
With some still left hanging on the wire
From Dorset to Devon were the ones from heaven
Losing count in Cornwall but sure it was near eleven
Never crossing the mire to the depths of Wales
And not considered the trip across the channel,
I prefer a fry-up to a plate full of snails
Through the Sexes onto God's garden Kent
Posh girls aplenty so time to build my tent
But the North was always great and a whole lot of fun,
from the bland to the bold and even up the...Oh Matron!
Glasgow slid to Edinburgh and then onto Perth
I tell my friends that these are the cities to unearth
Now time to delve back south to the places I know best
I just needed a midlife crisis to get it off my chest
Now to add the county back to the Shires I forgot
Jeez, there was a fair few, Bucks seems like a fair good shot!

JJB
#midlifecrisis
John Bartholomew Jul 2023
Sat staring at my computer screen
(The monotone)
Wondering if this really is all a bad dream
(Feels like a lobotomy)
Work so dull I just want to scream
(Someone please clobber me)
My thoughts so dusty and dry
(Bus ride home, some hellish geometry)
Blueberrys grow through the side of the fence
(Free food from our Gods own apple tree)
But somebody please put me into that long sleep,
And out of my own failed misery

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2023
Ripped from stem, like we had no life at all
Our petals just in bloom, now never to be seen fall
Yellow, red, or blue
It's life as true as you
Giving pollen to be carried out by the bees
To impregnate the hay-fever sufferer along with the trees
Just a passing phase once summer has gone by
To be planted in the shade by novices who do but try
But we regrow, we divert, we regain new powers
So never underestimate the strength we have,
us,
Broken Flowers

JJB

💐
John Bartholomew Jul 2023
What's left at the bottom of your pint
The disguards, the mouthwash, the unwanted kerfuffle
Measured up to society
A load of ****** trouble
The majority queued at the job centre
The dreamers, the wash-ups, old Ken still clutching his Fender
Better off in a tidal wave
I really hate to tell you
But that's life and has been since day one
They come and go, these forgotten days of fun
Sometimes you have money, others you have none
But think big, think tall, better days will always come

JJB
John Bartholomew Jul 2023
15 days on the side of road
Nowhere to sleep since I left my home
I just need somewhere to dump my load
Kicking up dust with the frogs and toads
I just need some place to dump my load
No lights or bedding to call my abode
I just need somewhere to dump my load
No right move in stalemate mode
I just needed some place to dump my load
Not one PC could break this code
I just need someone somewhere to dump my load
And when, I finally figure out, this meaning, I'm froze
Please little darling, just let me dump my load!

JJB
Not to be rude
John Bartholomew Jun 2023
This isnt a poem about a girl I once knew
Cos let me tell you man, there has been a few
As I have met many names as Sandy, Amy and those I have forgotton
And surnames not asked like Smith, Jones and McConnon
Goodbyes can also be said to streets I have lived
To my neighbours I once loved and those I'd like to seive
I'm writing this bard a bit to soon as I have still nowhere to go
Just looking at lottery wins in my dreams, to-and-fro
Would I head north or over to the greens of Ireland
Or back to where I grew up, Dorset and its Jurassic Sands
Would moving house make it harder on Wilf the cat
I'm sure he'd find a new place to prowl, they all have the odd rat
And driving up the A1, past the fighting metal zebras
Whilst missing the *** shop everytime, some stories to tell you
Looking up and seeing those birds of prey
Can see why they're are based here, the good old RSPB
But the pubs are closing one by one and now the Queens Head
If this keeps on happening, soon the town will be dead
So time to pick that fantasy house now on Rightmove
And say goodbye to Sandy,
with those fantasy millions, its hard to even choose....

JJB
#Rightmove #Sandy
John Bartholomew Jun 2023
An animal that we learnt to trust
Its cunning, its planning, a must
A lot of mammals are not a fan
But look at the potential after building that dam
The river now flows to a part of ruin
Let's celebrate this genius on the wood that they've been chewing
To build a habitat for this beast of some distinction
Who has made life for others without bragging on completion
Oh, and its also what men call their wife's nunny
Strange how words switch to mean something funny!

******

JJB
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