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John Bartholomew Mar 2020
THE WORLD'S GOING TO END.....ARGH!!!!!

Give me 36 packs of toilet roll now,
In case I run low and then there's none left in town

Stock pile on the Heinz, the frozen chips along with the soap,
If I leave it a week we could die with no hope

The kids should be out playing, not at home in this hell,
Lets hope its gone soon as they're starting to smell

No holidays this year as were all full of germs,
Lets thanks the Chinese, when will they ever learn

Now the only way to pass time is by reading or Netflix,
Fast and the Furious this week, just how do you get your kicks

Let's hope were all back to work in while with whoever will hire us,
Because, lets face it, nobody wants that stupid virus!

JJB
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
It's not mine, but I'll let them all know for now,
So don't shout at me like it's mine,
Jeez,
Holy cow

Claiming it's just mindless info,
I'll pass it on in time, now in slow-mo
Don't you know it's got a sell-by-date,
It'll reach you one day, as it's fate

I forget who I was supposed to pass it onto
From hand to hand now written in the ladies cubicle
And to be honest I really couldn't give a **
I'm just sat here as a number man, here, pass the buck

JJB
The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses. - Author: G. M. Trevelyan

There are times where excessive innocence seems so monstrous that it becomes hateful. - Author: Gaston Leroux

If you're passing the buck, don't ask for change. - Author: David Gerrold
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
The biggest problem we ever have in life is other people.

Believe me.

It's that simple.

JJB
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
Same waking up time
Same journey to work
Same conversations
Same deadlines
Same holidays
Same meals every week
And repeat

(Wake me up when the difference takes place)

JJB
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
We all have that friend
Who drives you around the bend
That says that they can have anyone in the bar
But ends up asleep in the back seat of your car
Often a brag to what they have done
And thinks the world revolves around their stories of fun
Whose delicate touch can make some girls quiver
But also their brashness can send them a shiver
For that friend is often a case in the making
Whose head needs turning away from this faking
Now look in the mirror and tell me it's not you
As that friend is a lie so please just be true

JJB
John Bartholomew Mar 2020
70 miles from the beautiful English coast
Some days that's the only place I'd rather be the most
Throwing chips to the gulls whilst sat outside with a lovely chilled beer
Not thinking what's the quickest way to Northampton from here
Or to drive west and dream over the Irish Sea
As there are other places where I'd rather be
But maybe it's just this and its stuck in my bones
Middle England is me and time to get used to it being my home

JJB
John Bartholomew Feb 2020
He was the first to score a hatrick on the newest astroturf pitch
He was the first on his new BMX to jump that ***** ditch
He  was the first to kiss the best looking girl in the school
He was the first that all kids thought he was cool

She was the first to have the Rainbow Collection of My Little Pony
She was the first to lend me her toys as mine were all phoney
She was the first to be picked for the school netball team
She was the first to date the boy on the bike we all thought was a dream

Looking back they deserved each other as they were the first to be divorced
A love so pictured, so fragile, it was almost movie scored
So no to be the first to everything in sight
I'm happy in my own little world just taking my own flight

From first to last, nothing will be remembered in the past

JJB
“If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.” - Dolly Parton

I am not gay, but if I were, I would be the first one running out of the closet - Dolly Parton

Guess what, I might be the first hippie pinup girl - Janis Joplin

I want to be the first. If they'd let me go to the moon, I'd crawl all the way to Cape Kennedy just to do it. I'd like to go to the moon, but I don't want to be the second man to go there - Evel Knievel
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