John Bartholomew

John Bartholomew May 2019

They were around for maybe 100 thousand years
Killing beasts to survive with flint made into spears
Regurgitating themselves onto a higher plane each time
They claim to have had a God that lived above with light he did shine
And a son who some did meet from a book they seem to revel in
If you did not believe these truths then forever live in sin
From here they spread around the world to places far and wide
They believed in being together as husband with his bride
Churning up the natural land as their need grew ever stronger
Inventing things such as cars and planes and onto what they could ponder
This Earth's oils are now low from extract they had to filter
The bain of life they did not see now swallowing up all that aorta
Chaos and unforeseen destruction now the catalyst for mans end
For ****** the planet of its natural wealth is a price man must tend
As now it is a quiet sphere which bubbles at its own beauty
Seas and plants will kindly grow in a wealth of natural serenity
Vanished is the man that put this destruction into first gear
As the animals now live in world of motion no doubt in silent cheer

JJB

John Bartholomew May 2019

So you want to be a millionaire?

Well it's easy
This is what you do
Tell no one
Nobody
Nothing
Its your idea
Yeah, it's been rattling around up there for years, but it's yours
Write it down
Lock it away
Whack a copyright on it
And when the time is right...
Unveil your life change for this world to see,
And that my friend can answer your question of,

So you want to be a millionaire?

JJB

John Bartholomew May 2019

Scottish Waffle

The noise, the harshness, as course as steel off-cuts
To berate, just one word, will have one man scared
From Dundee to Inverness and Clyde,
Just a sentence from a Glaswegian will make you hide
A friendly hello can sometimes sound like a fight
A nod of the cap, I won't upset you,
Let me just keep out of your sight
A pint in the pub with no eye contact at all
Hello, how are ye, what was all the worry
To be scared of such friendly people I have been a fool
The craic is mighty with the pub next to an aging brothel
Best mates now with the few I was so wary
As like most men drunk it all come out as Scottish waffle

JJB

Just chuck it in the **** it bucket and move on ...... A Wise Person

John Bartholomew May 2019

So sorry for being so rude

The odd word sometimes slips out
I mean nothing by it
It's just human instinct
I say what I mean in the passions of such clout
Offended?
Then sorry
Or am I?
Get a grip woman,
It's just a word that instinctively rolled from my mouth
Well if you don't like this then see me when drunk
I'll tear you to pieces
I'll shatter your dreams
And leave this room dirtier than that of a skunk
Spraying the kerbside with thoughts of a madman
Speaking such truths
Littering the graves of such inbuilt angst
Whilst wittering away and dancing the can-can
Dont try and stop me as this is my food
Living on this tribal urge
The surrounding men have given up their surge
So sorry for being so rude.

John Bartholomew Apr 2019

Nobody's Perfect (Bratwurst)

Trying to keep up with the leading man
Doing everything he does
Seems he's covered the World in his 30 year life span
Comes in everyday even with a stinking cold
He laughs,
He jokes
I haven't met his wife but no doubt stunning with looks so bold
But don't think that that's the man you have to be
We all live our different lives as,
We don't all fall from the same enchanted tree
So what if your not so tall and have the odd spot on your face
It's what makes up the world,
As we all come from a different place
Difference is the exact medium that makes this life a blast
If we all had the same dumb thoughts then,
all our hot dogs would be filled with Bratwurst!

Nobody's Perfect

JJB

School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, so why practice? - Billie Joe Armstrong

Stop hating on yourself for not being perfect. If God wanted perfection, He would have made you an angel.

Nobody is perfect, so get over the fear of being or doing everything perfectly. Besides perfect is boring. - Jillian Michaels

John Bartholomew Apr 2019

An Office Full Of Weirdos

We are all different
But some are more different others.
The Asian lady who cant't stop drinking her tea
The perverted Iranian who has not one wife, not two but three
The strange fella who makes noise as he walks
Probably harmless but must have a woman that he stalks
The bodybuilder who talks to no-one unless in trouble
Trying to grow a goatee but looks like daft stubble
Always the computer buff who knows how to hide his secret sites
If we knew how to access his stuff he'd soon enough take flight
The chubby man who's wife we believe is Thai
Most British girls just turned him away, well at least he tried
Then there's the cheeky sod who says he's wheelchair bound
Comes out with some screamers but no one utters a sound
And how could I forget the older lady who's divorced three times
You didn't know that? Oh you'll find out down the line
And then there is me who I think to be plain and normal
But God only knows what they say about me, nice and informal?
Not from this lot

An Office Full of Weirdos

JJB

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love. ~ Dr. Seuss

John Bartholomew Apr 2019

Crusades

Waking up with that one goal
Achieving what's in your heart and your soul
The smallest of things
The largest of things
We all have our private crusades

JJB