John Bartholomew

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

Wake up and don't look back
Let's get this ship back on track
You took the wind out of my sails but for me I will prevail
As this blip is never going to hurt me

I said some stupid things and from now I will carry on trying
For it was all in the past and the future looks good, steered away from your vows and your lying
The oddity and your empathy will linger in my brain
But my eyes have seen some sorry things and from here I will refrain

Telling me of your past and a load of it pure trouble
Most of it just made up like a sketch with Fred and Barney Rubble
So don't whisper sweet nothings in my ear finished off with a loving kiss
As the meaning was there but never been bolstered, as those lies were nothing but,

A False Promise

JJB

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

Sugermummy

We would all love an easy life,

Wallowing away on a beach in the sand,
Not a worry in the world, cocktail in hand,

Lying back, shades on, what else: Dolce and Gabana
A light breeze, a click of wrist, someone to fan you

But you paid for nothing as its a part of her deal,
Being back home, worked to the bone, this is where I now feel

I may not love her but its worth it for the ride,
As that is a just a word to those who can easily hide

Having the looks, the chiseled chin and charm is a God send for some,
A workout in the morning, pump some weights and a quick run,
Then onto the lady of my life for false kisses and fun

You pay her in kind as she knows the score,
A fair bit older where plastic now covers the raw

But if its paid for and shes good for the laugh,
Then whats the big deal as this is my hollow craft

I'll use this body as this is what I was given,
BMX to a Harley, this body was made to be ridden

And I know that people just see me as shallow,
But jealousy is human and only hides in your shadow

Because life is short and its best to see it as funny,
Hell, if you had the chance you'd soon have what I have,

Love you babe,

Sugarmummy

JJB

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

Valentine

Valentine
Be the love of mine
I'll get you laughing at my jokes topped up on cheap wine
Take you out to Wimpy or MackieDee's if you like
Pick you up at 6, always room on the back of my bike
Dressed to impress, tight jeans and my brand new Nike's
You could never mock my way with words
The texts I send you followed by the emoji of the smiling ****
I'd ask you to be my girlfriend but for now your just my bird
Not being the richest I always pay you kind
We go out during the week, have a coffee, chat and unwind
Your smile starting to pull at my heart, think its love I'm starting to find
Now that day is here do I tell her how I really feel
Love like an orange, at what point do I start to unpeel
Is it in a card or after a peck on the cheek, to say those words before that lifetime kneel
All a bit early after only a few weeks some might say
A sign from God if you believe in all those who pray
But no, the time has come, this is the day
To commit to someone who will be by your side for life
Having them there even if they are your trouble and strife
No receipt to take them back once that days not so bright
But hey, give it a go as were a long time dead
We all have different tastes from soda to flat or even French bread
Those two words are a commitment once lovingly said
So I'll say it now and maybe out of the blue
Will you be my Valentine as, well,
I really do love you...

X

JJB

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

That Last Cup of Tea

You wanted to make a few quid but this really wasn't the way
You'd sneak it in stashed in a sack, it happens everyday

Thai police are not that bothered now on a little bit of sniff
A couple of packs lodged in between, those dogs wont get a whiff

Twenty grand for a weekend away, lovely when an easy job goes right
But that fella you met was a grass and a snitch, should have kept quiet on that flight

Now here you are, a quick court trial now lining up for that bullet to the head
You have one last wish, be it something to eat before you lay in your final death bed

Nothing comes to mind in a situation that you thought you'd never find, just one thing to take me back home
A well made cup of tea and that feeling to be free, a delicacy I will now never know

Blindfold on and the sound of guns being carefully loaded to the max
The things we do to fill our pockets in life and avoiding that wanted tax,

พร้อมแล้ว! (ready I presume)

จุดมุ่งหมาย! (that's got to be aim. ****)

ไฟ!!!!! (Well that last cup of tea was ni..........)

JJB

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

I Don't Do Bad Drivers

Judgemental?
Yes
A car that hasn't been cleaned in ages
It makes you think
Their driving?
Gonna be bad

You step in and already the signs are negative
A mess of untold takeaways, how do some people live
11 Magic Tree's all hanging from the mirror
On the passenger seat their food, an old McDonald's wrapper

CD cases shoved into the depths of the car doors pockets
From Jane McDonald onto Steps, please God, just stop it
Penny sweet wrappers all mixed with their mint Extra's
On the back seat a GB map and a DVD of Michael C Hall in Dexter

I start to wonder what the state of their house really is
Not Hoovered for weeks, stinks to high heaven with old food in the fridge
But let's not stray as they might actually be a surprise
Jumps in, no seatbelt on, no, this really is a pigsty

Whacks it into first, revs right up, let's skip that trip and put it in third
Who teaches these people the way to live in life
Did their parents skip a growing up class on how to live nice
Or maybe I have morals that sour down to being too pleasant
Were nearly there, just a quick ride which I'm starting to wish I hadn't

Getting out I thank them for their generosity, until next time,
She replied,
"Don't be stupid son, I'm your mum, your always welcome for a free ride!"

Think I'll try dad next time

JJB

John Bartholomew Feb 2019

It's Everybody Else

I sit and think, is it just me?
I say a sentence which makes perfect sense to be hammered down again
I try to stay positive but my thoughts are never on trend
Sometimes I stray as this life's not all it's cracked up to be
I wander into my unknown, a place where I start to see
My thoughts and my vision see a different kind of light
It's just not one that others like, a mentality they try and fight
As I like another kind of state, where people are kind and free
Not the hang ups and the moanings all barking from the same tree
To hear a song and get its rhyme and rhythm
Let your mind settle, drift away in the clouds while I sit back and listen
Don't start with your patronizing along with those why's, what the hells and woes
Let go of those worries as well as the past, remember when I swept you off of your toes
Then you think back and there were good times that we once had
So why all the complaining now, times move on from the good to ever approaching bad
Maybe it's not you as this is how it's now spelt
It's the everybody disagreeing with you and what's right now, hence,

It's Everybody Else

JJB

John Bartholomew Jan 2019

Where Were You? (When The Queen Died)

Remember back, yes it was a long time ago
When England and its minions lost their one and only,
Lizzy the Busy, she did get about for an older kind of crow

Flying to her outposts and then in her nineties
Still dragging that old codger about, Philip the Greek
Insulting the natives, well he is a kind of royalty

His odd quip on the colour of somebodies skin,
Never mind how are, what a lovely child and how have you been
She married a corker there, no messing

The lands that carried her name all bowing to her superiority
Many of them just peasants not knowing of her really
From Gibraltar through to Hong Kong where they made her royal tea

Man landed on the moon, remembered for a thousand years
If real or made in a Universal studio
The passing of our Queen so real, some still holding back their tears

Reality strikes when you see what she has left of this once great land
Down to her kids to run this Island of such history
And not left it drift to the sea as if built on sinking sand

Monarchy and Royalty march hand in hand from the times of history
Lets not forget the power that we once held
To be banished away by the politically correct to leave us as a sad story

As she would turn in her grave if this once great power dissolved and died
She may not have said it but her wit and allegiance were British through and through
Grow a backbone and be proud again, and show them at least we tried to be true

JJB

“It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.” ― P.D. James, A Taste for Death

“So many of the loveliest things in England are melancholy.” ― Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

An Englishman, being flattered, is a lamb; threatened, a lion - George Chapman