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Oct 2013 · 474
untitled 41
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
dry heaving at lunchtime
pulse radiating
through every intact hull

fibers of final standing
remain, and will stay, and will stay, and will stay, at ease and incomplete
Oct 2013 · 340
untitled 40
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
look at your hands
are they ***** yet?

i counted every single footstep from the car to here
i ran them backwards through my mind
and then i forgot about it

reactions and
nervous twitches
i have all of you to thank
but no time to do properly pay you back

don't worry
stay the **** away from me
Oct 2013 · 274
untitled 39
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
the mouth that never closes
nests crafted out of teeth
trading skin for kindling

i will never be the same again
Oct 2013 · 219
untitled 38
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
i am nobody
if i am myself
i am nothing
when i have it all
i am empty
when the cup is full

stay the same forever
but don't tell me who you think i am
Oct 2013 · 981
untitled 37
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
i am your newest
latest
most adaptable
most conforming
but least controlling
****** god

termites ate half of my attic
as if to prove that
this is not my house
Oct 2013 · 1.7k
untitled 36
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
swimming through flesh
monomania exists
only if chance insanity is marginalized
incorrectly

my stomach
aches in yearning
for nothing
Oct 2013 · 630
untitled 35
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
my fingers have blistered as i can no longer harness the sun
warmth is foreign and intrusive
warmth serves to damage and even sometimes destroy

fill my tear ducts with sulfuric acid
monetize my emotions
bury me in a mass grave
dug for no one but myself
Oct 2013 · 362
untitled 34
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
cataract eyes
lungs full of coal

i swallowed my heart and it was full of worms
Oct 2013 · 503
untitled 33
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
compartmentalized in an overhead cabin
gestures of kindness
favors that only exist in the past tense
and lose meaning in the present

fell asleep in my seat
they locked me in
Oct 2013 · 261
untitled 32
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
six in the morning
five phases of traffic
autophagia to pass the time

arrived at work with one less arm
it doesn't matter if your face is made for radio
Oct 2013 · 708
untitled 31
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
broken legs approaching the podium
lost in open water
stranded in the emergency room
with a four inch dislocation
and wasps burrowing into my intestines

like a dog in heat, panting
always
Oct 2013 · 384
untitled 30
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
wake up
from slumber you cannot call your own
walk
run
move
proteins block and
blur motion

if i thought i could do it i probably would have done it
being in the hospital long enough
has taught me that colors correlate to days
and that the opposite is true as well

i have too much of what makes you good
and that is why i am what i am
Oct 2013 · 228
untitled 29
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
there is a person living in your skin and we can all see it
there is a human animal trapped inside of you and we can all see it
just because you try to do away with the idea that it cannot exist
does not mean it does not

on this day i realized this
on this day
Oct 2013 · 2.1k
untitled 28
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
blank stare
balancing on spinal columns
tripwire produced by mitochondria
four million breaks

i have the answers to the world carved into my torso
Oct 2013 · 310
untitled 27
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
razorblades broken off in glass
three cigarette burns on my forearm
and five cuts to the neck
proved nothing to me
but only to remind me that
i had finished
Oct 2013 · 480
untitled 26
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
in killing all the natives of what i
declared my
homeland
i felt
a lot better
about myself and
everyone else around me

i sat in the forest and tore myself apart
i threw myself a party and then i threw up my dinner
and then i spent the rest of the night in a bathroom i made

entering here, i have
realized that
never will i leave

i strung myself up by the throat between the trees at night
and hoisted myself to final mental victory
this is it
i've done it this time
this is it
and i am sure
there will be no more
Oct 2013 · 524
untitled 25
Joe Satkowski Oct 2013
imitating sleep
hallucinating underwater
delusions of grandeur
fold into my trachea

at long last
the sun is born
at long last
we can last, again
at long last
we'll try to go to sleep, again, and again, and again
Sep 2013 · 278
untitled 24
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
notions are not as smooth without schedule
and proper timing
you will be made to forget all that you should remember
if you do not etch it deeply enough into your forearm
Sep 2013 · 348
untitled 23
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
flourish from blood
blossom from vessels
gather materials
walk the land until
it crumbles underneath you
Sep 2013 · 391
untitled 22
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
every year is getting longer
every night is feeling colder and
biting at my bones
and eating at my sinuses

this house
i made it
from bricks and twigs and pieces of animals from the woods
so
then i knew i would
have a place to call home
Sep 2013 · 367
untitled 22
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
every year is getting longer
every night is feeling colder and
biting at my bones
and eating at my sinuses

this house
i made it
from bricks and twigs and pieces of animals from the woods
so
then i knew i would
have a place to call home
Sep 2013 · 240
untitled 21
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
i took
all my parking tickets
along with all your books
piled it up in the middle of the highway
and torched it

i cannot be conditioned to care any less
Sep 2013 · 314
untitled 20
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
hit
dead impact
flattening of the cortex

your hands, acting as cages
brought your ribs back between muscle
and layered you to the sky

a gift upwards
a single flight
and nothing more

a gift upwards
a flight for one better occupied by two because life exists upside down
and nothing
more
Sep 2013 · 254
untitled 19
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
and this path
brought me to a milky, ashen, unforgiving sunrise
and i thought of you once,  but
without pictures i forgot you

fall off a cliff kissing me
******
let me show you what i can do for you
Sep 2013 · 281
untitled 18
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
get home
before
your drug balloons
fall out of me

i loved you but i don't anymore

chipped off a piece of brain matter
earlier this morning
zipped it up for later
knew id need it to remember you by
even though i thought
id never forget

i need to die
Sep 2013 · 310
untitled 17
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
do not come into my home and tell me
what the truth is
i will
show you what truth is and
behind the truth
i will show you
another
grand ******* spectacle of a liar
Sep 2013 · 424
untitled 16
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
i didn't light my house on fire to be consoled by ashes and fragments
i did it to prove that
between puddles and eggshells, there isn't too much room to move
i hope that you can see that now

if you smile
commit yourself to it
clench your grin between your jaws

capacity and expression
are not mutually exclusive
assign yourself an emotion
and delve into it until your bones crack
stiff and under pressure
Sep 2013 · 339
untitled 15
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
before he died
his breath was sour
it smelled like whiskey

flock to me
adorn me in funerary robes
build me into a messiah
so i can bruise myself in your name

i promise to you
i ******* swear to all i have left that i would finish creating you
but our time has run out
Sep 2013 · 516
untitled 14
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
don't worry about the mountaintops
don't worry about memorizing prayers
don't worry about the cheshire murders
don't worry about the economy
don't worry about voices
don't worry about the weather
don't worry about heaven
don't worry about hell
don't worry about ships
don't worry about haircuts
don't worry about fabric
you aren't here
Sep 2013 · 353
untitled 13
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
fumigate me
remove me
release me
because
it is warranted
follow the rules
tear into my bloated carcass
see what real hunger feels like
see
Sep 2013 · 1.0k
untitled 12
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
soothe the mitochondria back into function
prove your worth
show us what a thousand years worth of natural selection can do

make the animals angry by replacing their medicine with salt
they are animals after all
they should be made to delicately pry it from under your fingernails

we don't do funerals around here
we don't wear black clothes around here
we don't eat three square meals a day around here
we don't get between six to eight hours of sleep every week night around here

pry my ******* teeth out with dental floss and a hammer
remembering only to wash your hands first
because all of your temporary muses have died
and you have nothing better to do
Sep 2013 · 280
untitled 11
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
for a contract killer
you keep good company
and have a lovely bedside manner

cut off all features starting with the eyes
because no one likes to be looked at
while doing something they know they should not
be doing
Sep 2013 · 258
show
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
a carcass is as productive here as something with a pulse
you think it will never happen to you
but there's always a margin of error
for everything
always
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
emphasis
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
i say it to contextualize it as something real
and not just another racing thought in my head

i say it loudly
i say it as loud as i can
without screaming
screaming is frowned upon here
Sep 2013 · 1.4k
puddles
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
i exist to walk on eggshells
and to drown in knee-deep water

fruits of labor aren't nearly as tasty
as those that you can pluck from a tree

and, as long as you remember that seeds exist
eating fruit is safe
always safe
Sep 2013 · 795
core
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
my favorite
thing to do is pretend
that i don't exist

my hobbies include
waiting
and counting blades of grass

some goals that i have are
to tear the fabric of my flesh apart with a ball of wire
and to get a job
Sep 2013 · 735
isolation
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
the sky cracked open
to reveal entire nothingness

what did you expect?

off the map
off the grid
forever not home

the essence of the relationship is parasitic
why pretend it to be anything else?
Sep 2013 · 495
untitled 10
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
finish line crossed
finally
over
done
completed

celebration
not warranted
but appreciated
Sep 2013 · 203
untitled 9
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
chambers
doors with no handles

only way to go is out
but there is no out
only in
Sep 2013 · 344
untitled 8
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
four walls
companions
the only ones i can claim to know

nameless
faceless
truthfully, they are everywhere

but i am stuck in the middle of nowhere
misery runs cold through my veins

creatures cannot be created to destroy
they can be conditioned to do so
Sep 2013 · 328
untitled 7
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
that my ribs may be sheared apart
to create mock wings
to writhe incessantly
in the sky
towards warmth
all i wanted was to find warmth and
the sun decided to burn my wings instead

in my ultraviolet coffin i had a few thoughts but none worth mentioning
most of which i regret
even if i cannot remember them as they were in the first place

a wish to fly
a wish to escape
a wish to not be here
anymore
not anymore
Sep 2013 · 611
untitled 6
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
today i saw fireworks
on the beach from
far away

lingering gunpowder clouded my vision
seagulls like it when you give them bread
but now i have a flock of birds following me everywhere i go

perched, waiting
as if to intimidate
not to extermine
but to evoke some sort of fear

this was my favorite vacation so far
Sep 2013 · 323
untitled 5
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
drowning in stab wounds
bleeding out
on a white tile floor

these colors
were supposed to be ones you couldn't see
but i've showed them to you now

evergreen
but never content
like smoke on a cold night
like a chest cavity full of insects, stinging slowly and carefully

blood blisters full of gravel
this treatment is unjust but nobody
is around to justify it anymore
Sep 2013 · 614
untitled 4
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
the ship was underwater before it could be properly evacuated
and i was drunk in the captain's quarters with a switchblade to his throat
he missed a spot when he was shaving that morning and i
offered my services

a spot on the canvas of my mitochondrial conditioning
my dendrites receive no stimulation as i laugh so i feel nothing as usual

crack my clenched teeth in a practice of proper response eliciting
reinsert the breathing tube and rip the catheter out of me
no
Sep 2013 · 331
untitled 3
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
i bit through my fingers
i ate my fingers down to the knuckles
bone has a rough texture and
my teeth cannot break through to plentiful marrow

i clenched the exposed knuckles and made a fist in an attempt to vaguely hit who i thought
was bound to be there
but no one was there
so i spat blood as i hit myself in the face for an hour

sometimes horses can be used for therapy
and sometimes they cannot be utilized if they break their legs
Sep 2013 · 344
untitled 2
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
warm blood and black ice

LACK OF CONSISTENCY WILL NOT PROVIDE THE PROPER OUTLET FOR THE ABUSER

abuse is arduous under certain circumstances
but i don't think you'd know too much about it
because you're always on the unwilling, but receiving end
Sep 2013 · 435
untitled 1
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
let it incriminate you

i sense a body in the room
i feel the corporeal warmth
but i keep falling over

gross motor movement portrayal proving itself incorrect
once again

you cannot imitate and not expect false flattery
i hope you get a standing ovation
because
i
for one
think you
deserve it

you deserve it
Sep 2013 · 1.3k
attention
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
pay attention
pay me in attention

give me some spare attention to chew on
give me alcohol and rusted nails to soak my gems in
Sep 2013 · 426
the sun on a plate
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
protective eyewear and bonesaws
the sawing of marrow
somehow a familiar sound to my ears

grace me with your otherworldly presence
or get as far away as you can
as fast as possible
through no fault but your own
Sep 2013 · 295
the shakes
Joe Satkowski Sep 2013
birds ate my arm
i let them

i looked in the mirror
i was not who i thought i was

i left in the stingers this time
i forget things easily
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